book review 50 shades of grey

Fifty Shades of Grey

By e. l. james.

Fifty Shades of Grey's success rests on its originality and uniqueness. Since its publication, the novel has heavily influenced romance literature and romance itself.

About the Book

Article written by Joshua Ehiosun

C2 certified writer.

Though  ‘ Fifty Shades of Grey’  became a hit , it received intense backlash from many people. The primary reason for the novel’s backlash came from its story that romanticized the negative issues many people face in relationships.

Though many people praise  ‘ Fifty shades of Grey ’  for its uniqueness, the novel features a disturbing and bland story . At the story’s beginning, we meet Anastasia, a young, shy, and innocent girl whose inferiority complex and insecurities make her incapable of loving sane people. Though she manages to live for 21 years in complete innocence and naivety, she somehow meets Christian Grey, the perfect picture of an abusive eccentric man. Then, by some force of nature, she instantly feels a connection to Christian. Though the beginning gives an interesting background for a story that can show Ana’s growth and transcendence, the novel takes a much more sinister route.

After meeting Christian, Ana finds herself hooked to him. She becomes incapable of reasoning without Christian in the picture, and the innocent Ana we met in the first lines of the story becomes a mini-brave girl overnight. Her innocence suddenly disappears, and she becomes a partial badass ready to take on the world. The disconnection of the first parts of the story from the rest creates a feeling of disappointment as most readers will technical want something more out of Ana’s initial self.

The story jumps further to Christian and Ana finally having sex, and from there, it becomes a circle of love, tears, sex, and more tears. There are some parts of the novel where there is ample opportunity to dive deeper into Christian’s mindset. However, the story slaps glorification onto his lifestyle. Even though the story tries to be romantic, the oversaturation of weirdly dissatisfying sex makes it a ‘no-go’ for some people.

The story’s blandness comes from its continuous recycling of sex. Many romance novels depict sex all the time. However, ‘ Fifty Shades of Grey’  includes sex scenes that disturb and irritate some people to imagine. The story takes BDSM and turns it into something terrible. Another aspect of the story many people may dislike is the over-glorification of abuse. Yes, Christian got abused as a child and teen, creating a wound in his past. However, he projects his trauma unto others by using BDSM and making them feel incapable of escaping his sight. His stalking attitude makes him more likely a creepy BDSM (past trauma) addict than a refined, sexy billionaire.

Many novels use the first-person perspective to tell the story. However, in  ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’  the first-person perspective hindered fluidity in the dialogues. Throughout the novel, the conversations between characters contain no consequence; these include Ana’s conversations with her supposedly inner goddess. Though her constant mind-blabbering makes the story quite funny, it also hinders the fluid flow of thought. As for the interactions with other characters, there is little complexity in the dialogues. Honestly, without the sex scenes in the story, the conversations will be shells of words compiled with little relevance.

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’  did justice to its characters. There is a healthy number of characters that populate the novel. However, except for Christian, Ana, and Kate, all other characters had close to no impact on the story. Josei is a character that shows promise as a potential rival to Christian. His sweetness and friendship toward Ana provide a premise for an interesting internal conflict in Ana. However, he suddenly fades into irrelevance and becomes nothing but a dragging character. Ana’s indifference to some of the people who love her adds to the novel’s blandness as it removes the room for the internal conflict in Ana and competition for Christian.

Writing Style and Conclusion

With the first-person perspective, the story of  ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’  feels quite bland and non-challenging. Though the novel tries to create conflict, it contradicts everything romance and love stand for. The story poorly portrays BDSM and makes sex look like an act that needs toxicity to function. The novel concludes with one of the most tragic phrases, as quoted : 

I curl up, desperately clutching the flat foil balloon and Taylor’s handkerchief, and surrender myself to my grief.

Is Fifty Shades of Grey a good story?

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’   is a medially captivating story because of its poorly designed plot and dialogues. From Ana to Christian, the story suffered from a lack of character depth and tried to balance out by adding too much sexual content into many parts of the plot. The dialogues were terribly crafted and failed to propel the story forward.

How many awards did Fifty Shades of Grey win?

Though it was not a literary masterpiece,  ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’  became the fastest-selling novel in British history. After its publication in 2011, it won two awards. The first was the British Book Award for Book of the Year, and the second was Fiction Book of the Year.

Did Fifty Shades of Grey end well?

Though E. L. James tried to make ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ end on a cliffhanger, the novel ended terribly. After Ana tells Christian to show her the extreme of his dominant BDSM punishment, he punishes her by whipping her with a belt; this makes her break up with him and the novel comes to a close with Ana crying.

What is the last paragraph of Fifty Shades of Grey ?

“This is grief – and I’ve brought it on myself. Deep down, a nasty, unbidden thought comes from my inner goddess, her lip curled in a snarl… the physical pain from the bite of the belt is nothing, nothing compared to this devastation. I curl up, desperately clutching the foil balloon and Taylor’s handkerchief, and surrender myself to my grief.”

Fifty Shades of Grey Review

Book Title: Fifty Shades of Grey

Book Description: 'Fifty Shades of Grey' Follows Anastasia, a native undergrad, as she enters a world full of wealth, sex, and dominance.

Book Author: E. L. James

Book Edition: First Edition

Book Format: Paperback

Publisher - Organization: Vintage Books

Date published: June 5, 2011

ISBN: 978-0-345-52250-0

Number Of Pages: 514

• Writing Style
• Lasting Effect on Reader

‘Fifty Shades of Grey’  tells the story of Anastasia, a shy and innocent undergrad, who meets Christian Grey, a billionaire, after agreeing to help out her sick friend, Kate. On meeting Christian, Ana’s life changes as she enters a world of wealth, sex, and dominance.

• The story is explicitly romantic.
• A good ending.
• Characters lack depth.
• The story gets bland as the oversaturation of sexual content dilutes the intensity.
• Dialogues lack depth.
• The story is too sexual and contains scenes some people may find irritating.
• Some sentences are poorly written.

About Joshua Ehiosun

Joshua is an undying lover of literary works. With a keen sense of humor and passion for coining vague ideas into state-of-the-art worded content, he ensures he puts everything he's got into making his work stand out. With his expertise in writing, Joshua works to scrutinize pieces of literature.

Cite This Page

Ehiosun, Joshua " Fifty Shades of Grey Review ⭐ " Book Analysis , https://bookanalysis.com/e-l-james/fifty-shades-of-grey/review/ . Accessed 4 April 2024.

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No Pain, No Gain

By Anthony Lane

If the figures are correct, “Fifty Shades of Grey,” by E. L. James, has been bought by more than a hundred million people, of whom only twenty million were under the impression that it was a paint catalogue. That leaves a solid eighty million or so who, upon reading sentences such as “He strokes his chin thoughtfully with his long, skilled fingers,” had to lie down for a while and let the creamy waves of ecstasy subside. Now, after an enticing buildup, which took to extreme lengths the art of the peekaboo, the film of the book is here.

Nothing has exercised the novel’s devotees—the Jamesians, as we must think of them—quite as much as the proper occupants of the central roles. Who could conceivably play Christian Grey, the awkward young billionaire with the extensive neckwear collection, let alone Anastasia Steele, the English-lit major who is also, as we gasp to learn, one of the leading virgins of Vancouver, Washington? Many combinations were suggested, my own preference being Nick Nolte and Barbra Streisand, who made such a lovely couple in “The Prince of Tides,” but in the end the lucky winners were Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson. Good choices, I reckon, especially Johnson, who, as the granddaughter of Tippi Hedren, knows everything about predators who stare and swoop.

Ana, as she is usually called, first meets Christian Grey at Grey House, which is home to Grey Enterprises, in Seattle. (Don’t you adore rich men who hide themselves away?) She is there in lieu of her roommate, who was meant to interview Grey for the college newspaper but has fallen sick. Ana, ushered into his presence, stumbles first over the threshold and then over her words, but begins to melt as he expounds on his bountiful gifts. “I’ve always been good at people,” he says, as though people were Scrabble or squash. He is interested in “what motivates them—what incentivizes them.” Any woman should run a mile from a man who uses the verb “incentivize,” but things could have been worse, I guess. He could have said “monetize.” He also lends her a pencil, bearing the word “Grey,” the tip of which she rubs against her lip. Either she has a cold sore or these folks are getting ready to rumble.

Their next encounter comes at a hardware store, where Christian is stocking up on masking tape, cable ties, and rope. “You’re the complete serial killer,” Ana says. Now, there’s a thought. We know Ana reads Jane Austen, and here, for a second, she sounds like the heroine of “Northanger Abbey,” who is mocked for always assuming the worst, or, at any rate, the most gothically arousing. Also, Dornan is no stranger to wickedness; in “The Fall,” a BBC drama that shows on Netflix, he is a serial killer, armed with a rasping beard, his native Belfast accent, and roughly ten times the sexual allure that he projects in “Fifty Shades.” Could Ana’s fears be well founded? Is Christian a terminator? No. He is many things—a pianist, a pilot, a pervert, and a tremendous bore—but evil is not in his wardrobe. Ana asks casually if he is a “do-it-yourselfer.” That would explain a lot.

Christian, it transpires, has a private passion, the cause of what James calls “his odd I’ve-got-a-whopping-big-secret smile.” Down a corridor of his apartment, behind a locked door, lurks his Red Room. Lavishly stuffed with the tools of domestic torture, it is supposed to radiate a breathless lust, although the result looks more like a spread from House Beautiful . Here, within these crimson walls, our hero is free to express himself as a “dominant,” meaning not that he is the fifth tone of the diatonic scale, which really would be hot, but, rather, that he constrains and chastises women who wish to be treated thus. At least, that’s what he tells himself. Mostly, he sounds like your basic stalker: “I’m incapable of leaving you alone,” he informs Ana—a notion that appears to stimulate her, although it would easily warrant a call to 911. She succumbs, up to a point, but her recurring doubts lead Christian to dish up one of those crusty old no-means-yes propositions which feminism has battled for decades: “You want to leave? Your body tells me something different.” Pass the butt plug.

So how does the movie, directed by Sam Taylor-Johnson, stack up against the book? And what’s in it for non-Jamesians? Well, we lose Ana’s introduction to fellatio, set precariously in a bathtub; in a similar vein, we skip the breakfast that she shares with Christian at an International House of Pancakes. Above all, we are denied James’s personifications, which are so much livelier than her characters: “My sleepy subconscious has a final swipe at me.” “ yes ! My inner goddess is thrilled.” “ no ! my psyche screams.” Couldn’t someone have got Sarah Silverman to play the psyche?

On the other hand, the film, by dint of its simple competence—being largely well acted, not too long, and sombrely photographed, by Seamus McGarvey—has to be better than the novel. It could hardly be worse. No new reader, however charitable, could open “Fifty Shades of Grey,” browse a few paragraphs, and reasonably conclude that the author was writing in her first language, or even her fourth. There are poignant moments when the plainest of physical actions is left dangling beyond the reach of her prose: “I slice another piece of venison, holding it against my mouth.” The global appeal of the novel has led some fans to hallow it as a classic, but, with all due respect, it is not to be confused with “Madame Bovary.” Rather, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is the kind of book that Madame Bovary would read. Yet we should not begrudge E. L. James her triumph, for she has, in her lumbering fashion, tapped into a truth that often eludes more elegant writers—that eternal disappointment, deep in the human heart, at the failure of our loved ones to acquire their own helipad.

Much of the novel’s fixation with style, or with the barrage of stuff that a sense of style can buy, is carried onto the screen. Where the money shots should be, we get shots of what money can provide. The subtle silk ties that adorned the paperback covers, and which somehow made it O.K., by a dazzling sleight of the publisher’s hand, to read soft pornography in public, are arrayed in the opening scene. Ana can barely move for Audis. Christian wows her with rides, first in his thunderous chopper and then in his smooth white glider, presumably praying that she won’t have seen Pierce Brosnan do the same in “The Thomas Crown Affair.” The only viewer, in fact, who may feel shortchanged by “Fifty Shades of Grey” is Liam Helmer, who is listed in the credits as “BDSM Technical Consultant.” Check out the Red Room: rack upon rack of cutting-edge bullwhips, a variety of high-end ass paddles, and more restraining cuffs than you can shake a stick at. And how much of this kit gets used? A mere fraction, and even then Christian, supposedly the maestro of pain, can do little more than brush his cat-o’-nine-tails over Ana’s flesh with a feathery backhand. He looks like Roger Federer, practicing gentle cross-court lobs at the net.

And there you have the problem with this film. It is gray with good taste—shade upon shade of muted naughtiness, daubed within the limits of the R rating. Think of it as the “Downton Abbey” of bondage, designed neither to menace nor to offend but purely to cosset the fatigued imagination. You get dirtier talk in most action movies, and more genitalia in a TED talk on Renaissance sculpture. True, Dakota Johnson does her best, and her semi-stifled giggles suggest that, unlike James, she can see the funny side of all this nonsense. When Christian, alarmed by Ana’s maidenhood, considers “rectifying the situation,” she replies, “I’m a situation?”—a sharp rejoinder, although if I were her I’d be much more worried about the rectifying. Even Johnson’s valiant performance, however, cannot pierce the gloom, or persuade her co-star to lighten up. He brings color to her cheeks, courtesy of mild slaps, but she brings no light to his spirit in return. He spends half the time badgering her about a contract that has been drawn up, in which she—“the Submissive”—must consent to his supremacy. Clauses and subsections are haggled over in such detail that one feels bound to ask: How much of a sex film can this be, given that the people most likely to be turned on by it are lawyers?

“Fifty Shades of Grey” is being released in time for Valentine’s Day. That’s a bold move, since the film is not just unromantic but specifically anti-romantic; take your valentine along, by all means, but, be warned, it’ll be like watching “Rosemary’s Baby” at Christmas. Try holding hands as the hero taunts the rituals of sentiment, such as going out for dinner and a movie: “That’s not really my thing.” What his thing actually is, Lord knows, although, to judge by the importance that he attaches to grooming, regular feeding, and nicely buffed leather goods, my suspicion is that he doesn’t want a girlfriend at all. I know Mr. Grey’s whopping-big secret. He wants a pony. ♦

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FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

From the fifty shades trilogy series , vol. 1.

by E L James ‧ RELEASE DATE: April 3, 2012

While the book is not especially well-executed, James has tapped into a female sexual and psychological curiosity that can...

Innocent girl meets billionaire boy with some serious issues; they fall for each other anyway, but is attraction enough to overcome his need for control and her need for independence?

Anastasia Steele interviews local business magnate Christian Grey for her college paper. Despite her misgivings on his control tendencies, Ana is attracted to him, and shocked to learn the feeling is mutual. Overwhelmed by his seductive presence and staggering wealth, Ana still chooses to enter into a confusing emotional and physical relationship with the enigmatic billionaire. Grey is a tormented, damaged hero, and Ana feels out of her league dealing with his frequent emotional distance, and his sexual need for control and dominance, especially given that his attraction to her stems from her down-to-earth personality and independent spirit. Through Grey she explores her own awakening sensuality, but finds herself unwilling to enter into his darker passions, all the while growing more and more attached to his companionship, his powerful charm and his desire to overcome his demons. On the heels of Twilight (literally and figuratively, since Fifty Shades was originally conceived as Twilight fan fiction), James has concocted the latest controversial mega-bestseller targeted to the female reader. Considering the cultural impact this book has made, you’ve likely heard of it, and possibly already read it.  So here’s the straight scoop: this book is not particularly well-written, nor is it hard-core porn that’s going to burn your socks off once you open the pages. Neither is it a piece of fiction that will take the women’s movement back 60 years. It’s fan fiction and fantasy fiction. Hundreds of thousands of women are reading this book because it’s the type of scenario that never happened to us, will never happen to us, and is one from which we’d likely flee as fast as possible if it ever did happen to us—wouldn’t we? That’s the point. It’s intriguing, conceptually, to wonder “what if...?” This book is not for everyone. It could have used a good editor. If you want great characterization, perfect construction, or if the repetition of words or phrases bothers you, probably best to not pick it up. However, it was more entertaining and compelling than expected.

Pub Date: April 3, 2012

ISBN: 978-0-345-80348-1

Page Count: 530

Publisher: Vintage

Review Posted Online: Aug. 3, 2012

ROMANCE | CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

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IT ENDS WITH US

by Colleen Hoover ‧ RELEASE DATE: Aug. 2, 2016

Packed with riveting drama and painful truths, this book powerfully illustrates the devastation of abuse—and the strength of...

Hoover’s ( November 9 , 2015, etc.) latest tackles the difficult subject of domestic violence with romantic tenderness and emotional heft.

At first glance, the couple is edgy but cute: Lily Bloom runs a flower shop for people who hate flowers; Ryle Kincaid is a surgeon who says he never wants to get married or have kids. They meet on a rooftop in Boston on the night Ryle loses a patient and Lily attends her abusive father’s funeral. The provocative opening takes a dark turn when Lily receives a warning about Ryle’s intentions from his sister, who becomes Lily’s employee and close friend. Lily swears she’ll never end up in another abusive home, but when Ryle starts to show all the same warning signs that her mother ignored, Lily learns just how hard it is to say goodbye. When Ryle is not in the throes of a jealous rage, his redeeming qualities return, and Lily can justify his behavior: “I think we needed what happened on the stairwell to happen so that I would know his past and we’d be able to work on it together,” she tells herself. Lily marries Ryle hoping the good will outweigh the bad, and the mother-daughter dynamics evolve beautifully as Lily reflects on her childhood with fresh eyes. Diary entries fancifully addressed to TV host Ellen DeGeneres serve as flashbacks to Lily’s teenage years, when she met her first love, Atlas Corrigan, a homeless boy she found squatting in a neighbor’s house. When Atlas turns up in Boston, now a successful chef, he begs Lily to leave Ryle. Despite the better option right in front of her, an unexpected complication forces Lily to cut ties with Atlas, confront Ryle, and try to end the cycle of abuse before it’s too late. The relationships are portrayed with compassion and honesty, and the author’s note at the end that explains Hoover’s personal connection to the subject matter is a must-read.

Pub Date: Aug. 2, 2016

ISBN: 978-1-5011-1036-8

Page Count: 320

Publisher: Atria

Review Posted Online: May 30, 2016

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 15, 2016

GENERAL ROMANCE | ROMANCE | CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

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by Colleen Hoover

THE IDEA OF YOU

by Robinne Lee ‧ RELEASE DATE: June 13, 2017

A fascinating, thought-provoking, genre-bending romantic read.

When Solène Marchand takes her 12-year-old daughter to a concert by the hottest boy band on the planet, she doesn't expect to fall in love with one of the singers.

Middle-aged art gallery owner Solène hasn’t dated since her divorce, but when her ex-husband buys their daughter and a group of her friends tickets to Vegas and a backstage concert experience, then backs out at the last minute, she steps in as escort. The five guys in the wildly popular English boy band August Moon appeal to women of all ages, but Hayes, the brains behind the group’s success, flirts with Solène at the concert meet and greet, invites them to a party after the show, then pursues her once she gets back to Los Angeles. He’s only 20 and he’s incredibly famous; his attention is flattering and heady. The two fall into an affair that’s supposed to be light and easy, but before long they can’t ignore their intense emotional attachment. Solène is hesitant to tell her daughter, but when she procrastinates, Isabelle learns about it through an online tabloid, which damages their relationship and leaves Solène open to censure from her ex. Then, once the affair goes viral, she experiences the darker side of Hayes’ fan base. What started out as a jaunty adventure turns into an emotionally fraught journey, and Solène must decide what she’s willing to risk for her happiness and what she won’t risk for her daughter’s. Actress Lee, who appeared in Fifty Shades Darker , debuts with a beautifully written novel that explores sex, love, romance, and fantasy in moving, insightful ways while also examining a woman’s struggle with aging and sexism, with a nod at the tension between celebrity and privacy.

Pub Date: June 13, 2017

ISBN: 978-1-250-12590-3

Page Count: 384

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Review Posted Online: April 3, 2017

Kirkus Reviews Issue: April 15, 2017

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50 Shades of Grey – Book Review

Never one to resist the hype of a good read, or rather the claim of “Mommy Porn,” I downloaded EL James’ 50 Shades of Grey, anticipating an entertaining page-turner, a modern-day love affair (I pictured my grandma’s collection of old romance novels, taking place in the now, equipped with texting and instant messages). Having no further background than the porno reference, I was stunned – shocked – at what waited in the pages before me. Not because of the explicit sex scenes, but rather the terribly underdeveloped protagonist, the unrealistic storyline – and above all else, the bitterly disappointing message this novel sends to all women about the value of love within a relationship.

Please stop meow if you don’t want anything about the plot revealed.

Ana wakes up the next morning in his hotel room – fully clothed – and he asks to see her again under better circumstances. The tension is building. In the following pages, we see a relationship develop, as the wealthy Christian showers her with gifts, such as a laptop and an Audi, as well as his signature lack of emotional availability. Eventually, amid warnings about his own dark secrets, Christian Grey tells Ana who he really is – a sexual deviant who likes to dominate his women into submission – literally. He wants Ana to be his sexual slave, locked under his thumb, required to sign a contract (unenforceable by law), that locks her into a set of rules. The breaking of said rules, according to the contract, is punishable by time in his “Playroom” or mini torture chamber – nothing life threatening, though. Along with this reveal, he asks her to sign an NDA, no doubt to preserve his professional reputation.

And then it’s time for Ana’s big reveal. She is a virgin.

The plot thickens.

Let us now pause to assess the situation: First of all, Ana manages to graduate college without ever being drunk, ever having sex, and without owning a laptop. The last point is what concerns me the most. When Christian buys her a top of the line MacBook, she refers to it as the “mean machine.” Are you kidding me? We have a girl – a virgin – tampering with a guy who wants to get his rocks off by beating the crap out of her – and she is okay with this – but then she refers to a laptop as a mean machine and to Christian as a multi-bagillionaire. Who is this idiot?

The contract has a list of rules that Ana will be required to follow. She must workout, eat regularly, maintain her health and hygiene, wear the clothing he provides, obey his every request, and spend every weekend with him for a period of three months. She also is forbidden to touch Christian or make eye contact with him. The contract is negotiable, so she opts to change the mandated number of workouts from four-times per week to three. This is completely logical, I mean what normal girls wants to touch or make eye contact with her lover anyway?

While the contract is still a matter of discussion, Christian and Anastasia consummate their relationship. Surprise! She has five orgasms the first time. And then dons her hair in pigtails and dances around his kitchen, Risky Business style, while preparing him breakfast. Of course it didn’t make a difference that he had punished her with a spanking. Spoiler alert! Virgins dig that stuff.

In the last 25% of the book, the relationship between the two grows stronger, but more confusing. Ana becomes a bit more believable as James gets her stride in character development and it turns out the Christian has a bit of a soul (gasp!). The most charming and realistic banter between the characters takes place during playful email exchanges, however, the actual dialogue between characters is unrealistic, with the regular use of the words “ill,” “pleased,” and “shall.” For a modern-day romance, the language is flawed and more advanced readers will become impatient with the constant reuse of adjectives and the periodic use of thesaurus synonyms that stick out like a sore thumb. I mean, I would tell my boyfriend that he beguiled me if he asked if he could whip me with a riding crop, too.

The larger issue that this novel presents is that women should never be comfortable offering their bodies to a man that makes it clear he is emotionally incapable of love and perfectly willing to implement capital punishment for eye rolling. Grey is a quintessential predator, Ana his prey, and the plot insinuates that, for the sake of eroticism, this is acceptable. Only at the very end does Ana come to terms with her fate. The final four pages do convince readers to continue with the next book in the trilogy. Mission accomplished, James! However, if they continue remotely in the same fashion as the first, they will leave much to be desired – beyond, of course, a story laced with Mommy Porn.

50 Shades of Grey supposedly started off as fan fiction, based on the Twilight series. While James had every opportunity to create a stronger, more emotionally developed protagonist, she created a world to which the boundaries of sexual delinquency, love, and relationships are blurred beyond distinction. While Twilight is flawed in its writing style, at least the story line paints a picture of loving and committed relationships – something that is completely butchered in 50 Shades of Grey. Being the curious little bird that I am, I will keep reading and will drink again to a wicked storyline that had me flushing crimson on the subway – fingers crossed it isn’t a disappointment, but at least I know what to expect.

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144 responses to “50 Shades of Grey – Book Review”

No laptop and email account in year 2011??? I find it hard to believe.

Having read this insight on 50 shades of grey, I must agree. The author seems to favor the use of “Inner goddess” And there is no story line or plot behind it. The way I see it in simple terms is that Anastasia, is a young naive girl who fell for millionaire, and surprise surprise when he casually tells her he enjoys tying girls up and enforcing pain upon them. Not only is this somewhat sick (No offense to any submissive/dominant people out there.) but I find it humiliating to females all over, especially how Mr. Grey has a somewhat Bi Polar personality. I find it annoying how he changes from “Casual and humorous.” to “Horny and sadistic” within seconds. As far as I can tell his character is unstable and I found it a waste of my time. Also, Anastasia’s naive, idiotic willingness for such treatment I find is a disgrace to women everywhere, and I can’t help but think that personally, If some STRANGER told me he wanted to control me sexually and inflict pain on me, I would call the cops if I didn’t strangle him first.

The only good critisism I can offer is that it was unique, and despite it’s horrible plot managed to keep me interested for the first thousand pages or so.

Agreed on there being “much better erotica” out there… and FREE mind you!

that was awesome and so true., i have a sister and a friend who keeps on pushing me to read the books, they even bought the trilogy just to make me read because i told them that i won’t waste my time to read it through the pdf file they have., i started reading, i admit that the start caught me but the latter parts were just too much., damn that blackberry whatsoever, everything just don’t make sense, how could she have made three books of disappointment., it’s so ridiculous how people are fawning over it., not that it’s my business but it’s still a waste of time and a wreck in real novels, and how could they even consider making a movie out of it? and to think that every time my sister would compare men she sees to christian grey is just too annoying., like “christian would have this and that and so on and so forth~” it’s just too much., and the point about his awesome riches is just true, it’s damn unrealistic to make a character that rich! he could be rich, yes. but as rich as christian grey is too absurd.,

just to make it short, I HATE THAT TRILOGY AND IT’S NOT WORTH TO BUY a 15.95 DOLLAR PER BOOK WITH PAGES THAT ARE JUST FILLED WITH KINKY FUCKERY!

I believe this book underwent an editorial process..if the author uses a narrow collection of vocabulary, the editor should have seen that..let’s blame him/her..

hahaha I love your comment…i have not read the book, but I sure won’t know that i had read all the reviews. Damn people sure as hell need to get educated and learn about true authors!!!!

Relax people – it’s fiction and a bit of escapism – get a grip everyone…cannot believe people get so work up over a fictional piece of writing

sounds like a real piece of crap book that stupid people buy up like gold. i guess it’s in nowadays to make garbage, create a buzz, and get super rich with no talent.

Awesome!!! Perfectly stated and I100% agree. This “new” crop or generation of people are stupid as a block of wood and love the worst garbage made these days so what happens? of course, it just inspires people to make more bad shit. we’re in a downward trend in society and don’t see any improvements unless we cut down the number of retarded people.

I love the books, I so love the story, It feels sooo good to be in love. I had fun reading the books, gave me a happy feeling. So people, just quit thinking, take the story as it is, it’s a feel good read. I hate it that the story had to finish, I hope the author continues the story of Christian and Ana. I;m just as excited to find out. And just so you know, i read them 3 times already and i want to read them still, because I can!

I so agree with you, jeez…. and for cheshiretrap: bet you’ve never been in love, try it, it’s good, it’s heaven…

Well, i love this trilogy with all my heart. My own opinion. i so much love this book! 😉

sour graping? Heart broken? C’mon guys, think less and feel more, life’s not that bad…….just a feel good read, be in love, it’s good, it’s healthy, won’t give you a coronary…..

Would everybody hate this book if the main characters were aliens? I’m thinking in terms of two, E.T.-esque aliens tumultuously entangled in a violent love affair. …Most likely the answer is no. Having aliens as main characters would ensure this unimaginable story line stay in the fictional realm. Get a grip people. You hate this book so much, but why? When have you all met people like Ana and Christian in real life that would make you raise concerns about this book’s affects on young women? Are we not allowed to define fictions in our own terms, such as E.L. James did? And to a previous comment, people who read this book for entertainment purposes actually DO have their own love life and get “shagged” on a regular basis. I’m glad, as a 27 year old female in a wonderful relationship, I still know the most elementary definitions of real and fake. Open your minds and shut your mouths.

Thank you, thank you for this review. I thought I was the only woman in the world who found this really stupid book completely juvenile and so off-the-mark with this obviously 14 year old heroine and pedophile protagonist. After reading about a third of the book I could only see her dressed in a cheerleader outfit with an outsized lollipop near her mouth. While my friends, my sisters, were drooling, I was repulsed. And that was before there was any sex at all!

Wow! this is the fourth negative comment I read and its stops HERE!! For the most part this book is FICTION!!!!! All of these negative replies are obviously coming from either old dried up women who never get sex, or from jealous women you have never been made love to like a women should ,be made love to. Lastly and the most obvious from men who only make love the “Vanilla” way and think thats enough for his partner. I had a partner for 10 years who made love to me the way a man should…..like Cristian!! So get off your high horses people and cut it out with your negative and repetitive replys, I’m sorry you have boring sex lives and feel a need to vent your frustrations on E. L. Woods 50 Shades websites, I think young men and women reading these books will actually learn and grow to making better love with each other buy learning what I call the sensual Christian moves, to learn to give an take in a relationship, hence creating better lives for familys and friends!! About the s and m and bondage in this book frankly it turned me on but personally my choice is not to engage in it. Remember we alll have a CHOICE and its our own decision in life to what we want!!

so let me just say this much everyone is entitled to their own opinion you dont think the book is a good read then write your own. you think that is was not properly developed and whatever else have you then prove you can do it better since you have so much to say. as a 21 year old as much as i may not know about book writing i think it was a damn good read something to excite you and even give ideas as to spicing up ur sex life. so much bull i see written here like seriously

Not liking this book does not mean women are either jealous or ‘dried up’. Any one with a good sex life are the ones that dislike this book. It’s a false portrayal of BDSM. The writing is appalling. Avid readers are usually spot on about this pile of crap book. Most of the glowing reviews are from people who start their review with, “I really don’t read but……” “I’m not a reader….” That should give us a clue. How reliable are those that never pick up a book? They have nothing to compare it to and wouldn’t know a good book if it slapped them in the face.Wait until they get a hold of some real erotic fiction….or a good story in general.

The Hunger Games is brilliant. You have NO idea what you are talking about. THG is way better than either Twilight or 50 Shades.

I’m almost at end of book 2 and love it. Doesn;t mean I’d like to be treated as such but hey, it’s called using your imagination.

OMG my thoughts exactly!!! I read the first book and halfway through the second one hoping it would get better at some point, but I found myself hating Anastasia and all her inner voices sooo much I just couldn’t go on. It’s like she’s retarded or something. It’s definitely one of the worst books I’ve ever read. I’m worried about the fact that this kind of crap got published in the first place, and even moreso that it got so popular. The only explanation I can find is that those people who liked it had never read a book in their lives before.

More than your comments about this crappy book (and it is crappy) I like Lucy342, are more disturbed by your comment “by no means consider yourself a feminist”. Wow, with the War on Women raging around the world, you should be PROUD to call yourself a Feminist…it’s not a bad word you know…no matter how many men tell you it is. Just had to put in my 2 cents, it’s so disturbing to find women who disrespect their own gender. Wanting equality is NOT a bad thing, Ashley.

sadly, it’s seems to be a worldwide phenomenon. I live in Spain and EVERYONE’S read the book/s, everywhere else in Europe too. lot’s of my friends have read it as well and while all agree that it’s badly written, most of them have enjoyed it. I just can’t understand why. I’m now on a mission of recommending them other books with erotic twists so they can get a taste of something not-so-crappy. and I’m serious about it. it just makes me so angry that someone would make all this money off a job so badly done.

hahahaha me too!

I totally agree that ‘The Hunger Games’ is way far better than 50 shades.. ( can’t comment on Twilight,never read..just watched the films)

I believe this book should be stopped. This is dangerous. The reading material is not suitable for everyone. The content itself is harmful, dirty and disgusting. The author should be subconscious. I mean if you want to make a book best seller do it on a right thing, on a good story not like this. What’s wrong with these people going crazy about this book and the author also! Doing BDSM is so pathetic. How low life they have to do this. BDSM is not LOVE or ROMANCE that we all desire to have. Its like an act of violence! In short its so YUCKY!!! And I think there is something wrong with them psychologically if you’re in BDSM!

Kill this book. Of course if you’re parent this book is dangerous and no parents would want to date Christian Grey because he is psychologically unfit!

and he doesn’t deserve your daughter!

and would you like your daughter to got hurt by Christian Grey? Stupid! Christian Grey should be excommunicated.

What I don’t understand is why did this book sell so many copies, when my book “Real Solutions to Children’s Health” has barely sold any copies. I would love to believe that humanity is more intelligent than what I am hearing. Why are books and movies like this so highly valued in our society? There is so much good in this world; why are people so attracted to the crap?

Forced myself through 1st book. Have a FB page dedicated to 50 Shades haters. Yes, it’s the dumbing down of the Western World.

so, after listening to the younger women at work go on and on about how good these books are….. I borrowed them…….hoping for something more steamy than a Harlequin… was disgusted about three chapters in….this is sick stuff………the author should be ashamed of herself… and the people who actually enjoy them need help….

On FEB– Valentine’s Day Special movie don’t miss the performance of Dakota johnson of 50 Shades of Grey 2015 Movie

Alright. So while reading some comments (that were actually very entertaining) I felt the need to join the hundreds and thousands of people who voiced their constructive opinion. I will not say anything that wasn’t already said, but I really have to express my feelings about it.

I don’t like bashing people who accomplished something (I will call it “accomplishment”, but only because it was sort of finished and published… More than I can say about myself), so I will try to be as honest and constructive in my criticism as I can.

I read books in my life. Some I loved, some I didn’t, some were just boring . However, I never felt embarrassed reading a book… Until now.

I heard so much about the book. Even read a news article which stated that FSoG was one of the most popular books in some prison. And now I hear they are making a movie. Plus, the fact that there is BDSM in it. I’ve always liked stuff like that. Can’t say I had too much real life experience, but kink always made things more fun. We don’t have a lot of books about it that went mainstream like that. So how could I pass on it?

I honestly had to fight through every page I read. Never struggled so much with reading. The first thing I noticed was the “style” it had… If I can call it that. I felt like my IQ was dropping with every sentence. It really feels like it was written by a child. For some reason the author is compelled to repeat herself on each page: the lip biting, the blushing, etc. The “inner goddess” was plain stupid. I wanted to choke myself each time this “goddess” danced salsa or drooled over the guy. When they make the movie, will there be a special person who plays her “inner goddess” and if they do, I sincerely hope they change it to an “inner god” and let Morgan Freeman play the part. Seriously now, These Goddess and Subconscious were mentioned so much, one has to wonder if the girl actually hearing voices.

And why in the name of all that is holy we need to be constantly reminded all the time that the guy is hot. We get it, he is hot, he is super hot, he is hotter than the hottest day in hell, just don’t say it every time you mention him.

Now, the characters. Well, I think I’ve seen much more complex and believable characters in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. You know, the one where the cat chases the mouse. Main characters in this book came straight out of a fairytale. They are totally unreal and cardboard. The girl is 21 years old, yet she never had sex nor had a boyfriend. Can I believe it? Sure. But the fact that she never masturbated or never owned a computer… It would make sense if she was Amish, but I don’t remember it was mentioned in the book. Really, hard to believe that she never even felt the desire to have sex, yet gave a perfect blowjob on her first go. In general, she is boring and stupid, clumsy, ohhh and sooo annoying! The way she blushes every time he looks at her, the way she keeps on almost fainting after every word he says to her. Another thing is her insecurity. She constantly tells herself how she can’t be liked by a man like Grey, though there’s a lineup of guys who would have given anything to be with her. There is a reason women like men who are self-sufficient and confident. I would say this goes for women too. A girl who always thinks she is ugly, isn’t too sexy or attractive. I personally would have lost interest in her after 5 minutes, even if she is a supermodel.

Now, Christian. Imagine the most perfect man alive… And multiply it by 10. That’s Grey. He seems so perfect that the gods of Olympus cry in envy and Prince Charming nervously smoking in the far corner. I mean, he is handsome as a god, muscular like he was photoshoped, he can fly a chopper, he plays piano better then Mozart and he is rich… I mean BILLIONAIRE rich! And all that… Wait for it… At the age of 26! Ok, now let’s break it down. Can a person fly an aircraft at 26? Yes. Can he play so well? Of course, if he started around 10 years old or something. But a freaking billionaire? Seriously? You can be. If you invented Google, or Facebook… Or I don’t know, a time machine. But that’s not the case. I don’t think even Christian himself knows what he is doing in his office.

I get why the author wanted to make him THAT rich. He supposed to be this prince of the universe type, and well, millionaire just isn’t rich enough. However, if you insist on that, at least make him like 40-45 years old. Men can still look attractive at that age, no? Overall the character really gives an impression of a huge arrogant asshole, the way he treats people around him. I guess that was the idea, but it sure doesn’t add to his sympathy score. Just in comparison to give few examples of likable arrogant assholes: Hank Moody and Dr. House. Christian Grey, however, comes across simply as a real douche, begging for a bitchslap.

The whole dominance was also very unbelievable. If you are this strict and controlling alpha male, just stick to it. Grey, on the other hand, is all over the place. He tries to be dominant, yet he is very caring and protective at the same time. As a result, I couldn’t stop facepalming myself every time he was showing his dominance. Felt like he was just trying too hard, and still not very successful.

When Ana tried to kiss him for the first time, he said something like “I’m not the one you need” or “I’m too dangerous for you”… Captain mysterious! Of course, she felt rejected and depressed, so she had to cry herself to sleep for the next few days. However, just when she began to feel better, he reminds her of himself by sending a very expensive gift. Seriously dude? You just turned her down, told her to forget you and yet you keep coming back? My logic really took a beating right there. The guy in this story acts like a teenage girl.

Can’t say much about the sex – I could not force myself read past one of the first sex scenes. Still I wasn’t impressed with the bits I have read. Like I noted before, Ana’s change from a don’t-touch-me-I’m-a-virgin to a sex pro was so rapid that it blew my mind… and not in a good way.

Someone said in the comments that we all might be subjects in a social experiment of a sort. Thinking about it, I might see the sense in that statement. Maybe this book was written for a sole purpose to test the marketing system, because it’s all there is with this book – a successful and brilliantly executed marketing. Perhaps, one day this will be included in a marketing and business school textbook as an example of how to make millions and millions of dollars out of used toilet paper.

In conclusion, I will say this. At one point I had a sudden urge to write a small anti-fanfic episode for the book, in which Gray gets a visit from a mob and gets his “pleasures” in his Red Room… only now as the little sissy that he is. Say what you will, but it was kinda funny.

hahahahaha…. OMG! your comment is so funny, I laughed a lot, thanks :’D ..and I totally agree with you, I just read like the first 100 pages on a flight, and it was enough!! I also laughed a lot reading those pages.

You think that because you are a sub-intellectual automaton.

Wow, I could not agree with you more!! I seriously have never wanted to murder characters in a book before, and this series made me constantly wish for them both (but especially her) to have a real neck I could throttle or something! And as much as I hated it from almost the start, I’m one of those people who cannot quit something halfway through, so I made myself read all 3 books. I’m just SO glad she eventually dropped the whole “Inner Goddess” and “Subconscious” bullshit, because that was driving me crazy!

I think its an over glorified MB, very disappointed.

[…] some saucy tips they can use on a partner. Who knows. But as Chris Al-Aswad points out on his blog, James “created a world to which the boundaries of sexual delinquency, love, and […]

I can’t agree with you more. Seriously. Most frustrating book ever. I can’t believe how people dig this shit.

I don’t know how I managed to finish this book. The first thing i did when i read the glorious “the end”, was to search desperately for a negative review, to restore my faith in humanity. Thank you. Now I know I am not the only one who thinks this book is an insult to literature.

Fifty was a okay book in my opinion. I think it was over hyped because books like the Crossfire Series or the Masked Emotions Series is so much better than this.

I find it funny that I’m commenting on a book and a review from nearly 10 years ago. Full disclosure – I read all of the books, and I unfortunately saw the movies. I’ve even read 50 Shades Fan Fiction (don’t bother, it’s limited and much worse than the book). As a writer and avid reader, I’m trying to understand the appeal, Yet I bought it and read it and bought into the whole 50 Shades ecosystem.

First, I give James a lot of credit for getting such poorly written crud published, for capitalizing on it, getting movie rights, and even co-branding sex toys. The phenomenon brought an interesting public discourse not as much about relationships, but about the appeal of kinky se and fantasies frowned upon by social norms. It’s common for people to fantasize about submission, or about being swept off of their feet and validated for who they are and what they can offer. He’s hot and rich, and there’s that fantasy as well – being cared for and not having to worry about paying rent.

That said, I suppose my own fascination came from the series’ poor quality, as odd as that may sound. The characters are stilted and undeveloped, though they do grow and evolve as any character should. The dialog is horrid, there’s no way to put it kinder. As an American, it irritates me to no end when someone writes of a place and a culture that they have no knowledge of. I’ve been to the UK a few times, but I wouldn’t write a book set in London unless it were about an American in London – because I don’t have enough knowledge of the quirks of language and culture that are unique to every locale.

Little things beyond the “Holy cow!” inanity really bug me, to the point of stopping my reading. As you mention, the stilted language reads like a high school essay mixed with an online thesaurus. Some things that still annoy me to this day – Grey Enterprises Holdings is an idiotic name that you’d rarely see in the US. Enterprises are holdings. Or is he a mixed business leader and hedge fund/angel investor? I get the Harvard dropout, though that’s clearly a copy of Gates, Zuckerberg, and other entrepreneurs who left Harvard. Oddly, Grey never speaks of his time in college (note not “university” – college). Few details are shared about his billions – except that his first venture was in telecom, or that he employs tens of thousands of people? Really? What do the people at Grey House (House? Not just Grey, or The Grey Building?) do if it’s a holding company? Buffet runs a much larger holding company with about 20 employees. Beyond his business, there’s referring to one’s apartment or penthouse as the building name (I’ve never heard of such a thing), having parents who throw balls nearly every weekend, and never taking advantage of a bustling city’s cultural, culinary, or outdoor offerings. For a local billionaire businessman. Right.

Then Ana. Entirely implausible as you mention – the virginity perhaps, but never fooled around, never had a boyfriend, never had a laptop? Is amazed at an online library? Economically, she graduates from college but neither of her parents have money, but she graduated debt-free, with enough money to move to Seattle. And after working her way through school, she plans to just figure things out after graduation – no idea of a job, an industry, no contacts, but within days has interviews? With no experience, no internship. Despite her school being rather close to Seattle, only 2 of her friends live there?

Then there’s the craziness of getting promoted from admin assistant to acting editor within a few weeks, moving in and getting engaged in less than a month, and then a month or so later, getting married and getting pregnant. Sure.

I love writing fiction because I can suspend belief. But I feel some obligation, even in writing fantasy, to ground my characters and their behavior in some semblance of reality. Sorry to ramble nearly a decade later. I enjoyed your review, and wish I could better understand the appeal – even the appeal to myself. The only thing I’ve come up with is that the character traits, behaviors, growth, and general story line are so horrid, I feel that the characters themselves deserve better.

I must admit that I enjoyed reading the trilogy because of the intensity I felt regarding the connection between the two characters, if I may say so. To say that the writing style is catastrophic is an exaggeration, because there are far worse things out there. But I do admit that the sentence construction is pretty well worked out. I think that if I were to read it again, what I felt the first time would no longer be the case, because some books you read correspond to a period when your mind will be receptive and guide you towards an unknown reading.

I agree with many reviews that the “literary” style is poor, because for me, it doesn’t look like it, considering this word on a much higher level. EL James is not an author with a talent for grammatical prose. It’s more like someone who’s just starting out in writing and is trying to improve it for certain paragraphs. I write and over the years you learn, you improve, you correct what you’re having trouble with. When it comes to constructing a fictional idea, you have to think about important points to make it credible and realistic. Unless it’s done on purpose, as in a parody.

The first problem with the characters is their age. To be a billionaire at only 27, in this way and which remains rather vague because it is vaguely developed, is somewhat implausible. It would have been more believable if the character had been older, just like Anastasia’s, but no doubt EL James felt this would be less appealing, less exciting for readers. Right! Let’s face it, she certainly didn’t think it through, since the changes made were apparently very slight.

The story would have been better if it had been imagined differently. Why make it about an innocent, (somewhat) naïve, virginal young woman who loses her virginity to a sado-masochistic man, so that they can then practice BDSM together? And yes! Ana’s virginity is obviously an obstacle to Christian Grey’s sexual plans. Imagine that, and it probably turns everyone on. No wonder what’s been made as a “movie” sucks, let’s face it. The novel would have had to be disturbing, really dark, uncomfortable, immersing the reader in the world of raw BDSM, in Christian’s tortured, perverse, dark mind, to bring that feeling to everything that encompasses the universe of this story. To create a boundless and profound erotic psychological thriller.

In any case, this novel was never meant to be adapted for the big screen. You can see that as soon as you read it. Nobody wanted to act in the film, so there were a lot of problems. Both actors play badly, Dakota Johnson moans at the drop of a hat, she hardly knows how to express the right emotions, her acting is inconsistent anyway. And Jamie Dornan, poor guy! I found him very convincing in The Fall, and that’s when I thought he’d finally make a good Christian Grey. Well, he didn’t.

Few actors and actresses want to play in films with explicit scenes. And especially when it’s going to be done badly. The two intrigues of the novel are whether Ana will succeed in taming, helping Christian to exorcise his demons and vices, helping him in this process, letting him know what it is to love, respect oneself and others, and whether the villain Jack Hyde will succeed in carrying out his revenge. Frankly, I don’t know what EL James was thinking when she wrote this pseudo vendetta. It’s preposterous and seems to have been added after this ridiculous idea had germinated in her head. I was even embarrassed when I read this part.

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Glass Slipper as Fetish

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By Alessandra Stanley

• April 2, 2012

Sex is a hard sell.

It’s a great commodity, except that the market is glutted. In an age when almost all forms of erotica and pornography are available at any time, anywhere, on cable television, on the Internet and even on a smartphone, it’s almost impossible to find a fresh way to be risqué.

Sex has to be transgressive to cause a stir, and nowadays the best step forward is to take a step back.

That at least is the lesson of the “Fifty Shades of Grey” trilogy, which after a dizzying e-rise that led to the top of The New York Times’s best-seller list , is being reissued on Tuesday as Vintage paperbacks . Universal Pictures and its art-house film division, Focus Features, have already bought the movie rights.

This S-and-M story about a virginal college student and the handsome young billionaire who binds her sounds racier than it is. Mostly it’s an updated throwback to scandalous novels of the past, including “Jane Eyre” and the 1920s desert rape fantasy “The Sheik.” The main difference is that “Fifty Shades of Grey” and its two sequels, “Fifty Shades Darker” and “Fifty Shades Freed,” are set in modern-day Seattle and mix sexting with spanking.

In other words, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is to publishing what Spanx was to the undergarment business: an antiquated product re-imagined as innovation. When Sara Blakely, a former office equipment saleswoman, wanted control-top pantyhose without the hose and figured that other women might too, she started her own company, Spanx. Women embraced her light-weight girdle — once known as a foundation garment — as a body-shaping breakthrough. Ms. Blakely is now on the Forbes list of billionaires.

Similarly E L James, the British author of “Shades of Grey,” a former television executive who became an author by posting fan fiction online, wrote a typical romance novel, added some atypical sex and became an Internet sensation. Lots of women who weren’t used to reading erotic novels discovered “Shades of Grey.” And downloading was a huge part of the books’ success: readers who heard of the book from friends or Facebook could check it out instantly, cheaply and most of all, privately.

“Fifty Shades of Grey” doesn’t defy taboos in the way that other recent and much-talked-about books and magazine articles have, be it Toni Bentley’s ode to anal sex, “The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir” ; Kathryn Harrison’s account of incest, “The Kiss”; or Daphne Merkin’s revelation of her spanking fetish in The New Yorker. Those accounts shocked mostly because the authors were well-known writers confessing to unseemly sexual vices.

Ms. James created a story that adds kinkiness to the basic formula: a rich, handsome bachelor falls for a young, innocent beauty. There’s always a hitch; usually the hero has a secret weakness that only the heroine can handle and that ensures that she alone can hold his affection. Mr. Rochester had a mad wife in the attic, and Christian Grey has S-and-M toys hidden in his “red room of pain.”

There’s a reason why Christian is into dominance (he has issues), and it doesn’t take long for the loving heroine, Anastasia Steele, to coax him out of his fetishes and into the bedroom for lots of tamer, more intimate sex. There’s some bondage, trussing and light whipping, but mostly the author keeps finding new ways for the hero to get in touch with his amorous feelings.

As female fantasies go, it’s a twofer: lasting love and a winning Mega Millions lottery ticket. And what is shameful about “Fifty Shades of Grey” isn’t the submissive sex, it’s the Cinderella story.

One reason the books sold so well over the Internet is that that this kind of riches-and-rescue tale isn’t easy to find outside Harlequin novels. (Harlequin, which also offers light S-and-M fiction, has never had the same éclat.)

Television has plenty of sex, and that includes bondage scenes in shows like “Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” but it’s harder to find story lines that reward helplessness outside the bedroom — or off the rack.

Heroines on network series like “The Good Wife” on CBS or “Body of Proof” on ABC are professionals who work hard and raise families without much money or emotional support from a man. That’s true on cable as well, be it the pot-selling widow on “Weeds” on Showtime or the single-mother detective on “The Killing” on AMC.

It’s even sort of true of the coming “Girls,” on HBO, in which the 20-something lead character doesn’t have a career, children or a happy sex life, despite all kinds of degrading sex with a poor, uncaring would-be actor.

Most of these shows focus on career women who struggle to be both breadwinner and homemaker, and they don’t indulge regressive fantasies about rich, dashing tycoons who yearn to make the heroine’s life easier. Series based on classic fairy tales, like “Once Upon a Time” on ABC, offer independent, empowered Snow Whites.

Even “The Bachelor” is no Prince Charming. That show has become a rat race where the women have to compete for a bachelor who every season turns out to be less of a prize. “The Bachelorette” women have it easier, but even they don’t have a happily ever after that lasts beyond the final commercial.

Network television is too politically correct — or too closely supervised — to cater to unfashionable fantasies. (That’s reserved for movies like “Pretty Woman” and “Bridget Jones’s Diary.”) The most popular series are so busy celebrating the new woman that they lose sight of old, hidden hankerings. Particularly now, when having it all so often means doing it all yourself, there is a special allure to the daydream of someone else taking control.

So it didn’t take much for an erotic e-book to catch fire. A glimpse of stocking can still be shocking when it’s used to bind a lady’s wrists; it’s irresistible when a handsome billionaire is tying the knot.

Explore More in Books

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James McBride’s novel sold a million copies, and he isn’t sure how he feels about that, as he considers the critical and commercial success  of “The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store.”

How did gender become a scary word? Judith Butler, the theorist who got us talking about the subject , has answers.

You never know what’s going to go wrong in these graphic novels, where Circus tigers, giant spiders, shifting borders and motherhood all threaten to end life as we know it .

When the author Tommy Orange received an impassioned email from a teacher in the Bronx, he dropped everything to visit the students  who inspired it.

Do you want to be a better reader?   Here’s some helpful advice to show you how to get the most out of your literary endeavor .

Each week, top authors and critics join the Book Review’s podcast to talk about the latest news in the literary world. Listen here .

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Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

Blindfolds back on – Sam Taylor-Johnson’s adaptation struggles to serve E.L. James’s Kindle-busting BDSM bestseller.

Jane Giles Updated: 20 March 2015

from our April 2015 issue

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

Reading the first reviews of Fifty Shades of Grey, I wondered whether female critics had been banned from attending the film’s last-minute press screenings. The male critics had a good old laugh at the film as they vied to write the most disparaging and entertaining review. It was a warning – to their readers, to E.L. James and to the film’s director – effectively saying, “Your ‘erotica’ may be popular but God forbid anyone would take this rubbish seriously. And by the way, we can write better than you can (even if you’ve made a fortune).”

Japan-USA 2015 Certificate 18  125m 13s

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson

Cast Anastasia Steele Dakota Johnson Christian Grey Jamie Dornan Carla May Wilks Jennifer Ehle Kate Eloise Mumford José Victor Rasuk

UK release date 13 February 2015 Distributor  Universal Pictures International fiftyshades-movie.co.uk ► Trailer

Then came the second wave of responses, from women who wanted to like it or to be shocked but found the film anticlimactic. Where’s the sex? Where’s the feminist agenda? This isn’t BDSM, this is domestic abuse.

In directing this film, Sam Taylor-Johnson held a poisoned chalice. Fifty Shades of Grey is not a boundary-pushing female Shame , but nor is it the golden turkey that some would wish. Like the novel, it is a singular phenomenon, an international box-office smash hit by a female British director aimed squarely at a female audience.

Like Cinderella, Bluebeard, Pygmalion or Twilight, it is a romantic fantasy and a fairytale, a story of sexual awakening in which the innocent heroine’s inherent strengths allow her to battle monsters, in this case capitalism and a male sexuality twice-warped by childhood abuse and adolescent manipulation. Wicked witches are omnipresent in this story, whether it’s Christian’s birth mother, the shadowy ‘Mrs Robinson’ with whom he had a relationship when he was 16, or Ana’s mother, on to her fourth husband and having such a great time that she can’t make it to her daughter’s graduation.

Danny Elfman ’s score weaves its dark, twinkling magic around the story, bringing out the archetypal fantasy. Towering glass-and-chrome corporate landscapes replace the dark forests of classic fairytales and much of the film’s mise en scène brings to mind the great expressive excesses of Douglas Sirk’s Hollywood melodramas, lavish women’s pictures such as Written on the Wind (1956) with its chain of unrequited love. Its palette based around the four elements, Seamus McGarvey ’s cinematography captures the film’s reflective surfaces while introducing shadows and depth. A shot of Christian and Ana making love pans upwards to reveal a dark mirror on the ceiling, their image like an underwater chimera or shunga painting. (Memo to Taylor-Johnson: jellyfish in an aquarium would have been amazing.)

Storm clouds are always on the horizon, and when it rains it pours. Ana goes up in the air in the helicopter and glider sequences; much derided as examples of the film’s silly, stereotypical displays of conspicuous wealth, these scenes are breathtaking and joyous, referencing the title of Erica Jong’s milestone novel about female sexuality, Fear of Flying . The walls of Christian’s office glow red and orange like the fires of hell as he and Ana negotiate the contract by which she will become the submissive to his dominant, and the ‘Red Room of Pain’ speaks for itself.

It is in one of the film’s ‘earth scenes’, when Ana and Christian walk like babes in the wood, that he tells her the story of his adolescent submission to his mother’s friend, ‘Mrs Robinson’. The film borrows big from Grimm, and also from Alice in Wonderland; the hangover painkillers by Ana’s bedside are labelled ‘Eat Me’, the juice ‘Drink Me’. Ana falls down an internet rabbit hole when she begins to research her subject online, looking at Dita Von Teese bondage pictures – a sly reference to the burlesque stripper’s real-life urging of women to read erotica by the likes of Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin rather than Fifty Shades.

The casting of the film was famously difficult, as Fifty Shades fans bayed their disapproval in the background. But Dakota Johnson (daughter of Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson , granddaughter of Tippi Hedren ) is terrific as Ana, a latterday Tess of the d’Urbervilles, reluctant yet curious and questioning, rapidly proving herself incompatible with the “50 shades of fucked up” control-freak Christian. Johnson brings to mind Charlotte Gainsbourg in An Impudent Girl (rather than the older nymphomaniac), not least when Christian plays Chopin’s ‘Prelude Op. 28 No. 4 in E Minor’ on the piano, a piece of music sampled by Serge Gainsbourg in his love song for ‘Jane B’ (Birkin).

In the absence of any really explicit sex, the chemistry between the leads strains to be there. Jamie Dornan (The Fall) is not the plank that some male critics have described and puts in a decent performance, but he isn’t the sexy beast of the Fifty Shades reader’s imagination, nor does he beat Jamie Bell’s recent turn as a melancholic whip-cracking sadist in Nymph(0)maniac .

One of the disorientating things about the film adaptation is the shift in point of view. Whereas the book begins with Ana looking in the mirror and is told from her point of view, the film’s opening scenes are mostly of Christian, setting up his world for Ana to enter. The upside is the loss of Ana’s annoying inner voice (“Holy crap!” she exclaims repeatedly in the book) and her inner goddess, an irritating Tinkerbell that most readers long to squash underfoot.

But while James’s novel luxuriates in Ana’s descriptions of Christian, and particularly his erection, the film barely allows the viewer’s gaze to linger on the face let alone the body of Dornan’s character. This is a far cry from the director’s video David commissioned by the National Portrait Gallery in 2004, a single long take of the footballer David Beckham sleeping that allows the viewer to gaze voyeuristically at his beauty. Equally exposing of their subjects are Taylor-Johnson’s earlier gallery film Brontosaurus (1995), showing a naked man dancing in slow-motion, and her short film Death Valley (2006), depicting a man masturbating in the desert.

There have been several films featuring BDSM imagery and/or themes, subliminally in the mainstream (Daniel Craig’s James Bond tied naked to a chair and beaten in Casino Royale ) or explicitly in the art house (the films of Alain Robbe-Grillet or Catherine Breillat , Maîtresse , Belle de Jour , The Night Porter , Mano destra , Secretary and most recently The Duke of Burgundy ). The closest predecessor of Fifty Shades is probably 9½ Weeks (1986), another sexually driven US mainstream movie phenomenon based on a novel by a woman, and Taylor-Johnson includes a nod to that film’s ice cubes and blindfolds. But whereas 9½ Weeks became famous for a number of set pieces – the food sequence, the male drag scene, the ‘You Can Leave Your Hat On’ striptease – it’s difficult to identify a single watercooler moment or destined-to-be-classic scene in Fifty Shades.

Despite the fact that more explicit material, filthier language and dirtier jokes have already been unleashed by 18-certificate studio pictures, Universal was obviously not out to challenge the parameters of mainstream taste or the boundaries of the BBFC and its worldwide equivalents. In the UK at least the film was passed uncut, leaving no hope of seeing a director’s version. One suspects that Taylor-Johnson was never free even to push at the edges of sexual representation, and the film’s lack of explicit imagery and grit is one of its disappointments. That this has been the predominant articulated response may be apt, because the story is about wanting more: he’s gorgeous, wealthy and makes her come, but he doesn’t do hearts and flowers and he won’t let her sleep with or touch him.

The film ends so abruptly that audiences look around in dismay – is that all there is?

Sight & Sound: the April 2015 issue

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Fifty Shades of Grey Review

A few shades short..

A Pair of Fifty Shades Sequels in the Works

I'd like to think Fifty Shades of Grey knows exactly what it is -- corny slash fic come to life -- and if that's the case it's almost admirable in its attempt at spectacle. (The two leads are also nice.) Unfortunately, Sam Taylor-Johnson's movie adaptation gets so caught up in the intrigue and melodrama that it never really finds its groove. Even the film's raw sex appeal is lacking, which just leaves a poorly plotted story and laughable dialogue. [poilib element="accentDivider"] Max Nicholson is a writer for IGN, and he desperately seeks your approval. Show him some love by following @Max_Nicholson on Twitter, or MaxNicholson on IGN.

In This Article

“Fifty Shades of Grey” Book Review

I used to think A Game of Thrones by George R. R. Martin was the worst book I’d ever have the displeasure of reading.  That was before I was introduced to Fifty Shades of Grey by Snowqueens Icedragon (yes, that’s really her pseudonym).  This fan-fiction based on Stephanie Meyer’s laughable The Twilight Saga makes Meyer look like a modern day Tolkien, and even writers like George R. R. Martin and Tara “XXXbloodyrists666XXX” Gilesbie seem competent by comparison.  As someone discussing Troll 2 once said of movies: with some bad books it seems like the writer didn’t know how to write a book; with some it’s more like they did know how to write a book but got hit very hard on the head.  Fifty Shades is more like if the embodiment of pure evil in the universe didn’t know how to write a book and got hit very hard on the head.

Master of the Universe

I will begin by explaining the history of this dreadful story as I understand it.  It began, of course, with the infamous mormon vampire romance series The Twilight Saga.  A British fan named Erika Mitchell decided that the world desperately needed an “adult” version of the story and created a fan-fiction called Master of the Universe with the tagline “fifty shades of fucked up,” uploading it to fanfiction.net under the horrendous pseudonym “Snowqueens Icedragon.”  Of course, just like Tara Gilesbie (Bloody rists 666), the way she writes her pseudonym is wrong; should it not be “Snowqueen’s Icedragon”?  What’s worse than the awful name is that the whole premise of writing Master of the Universe is based on a fallacy.

The Twilight Saga “For Adults”

Master of the Universe was written with the intent to create “The Twilight Saga for adults.”  As far as Snowqueens Icedragon was concerned, the reason Meyer’s books were childish wasn’t the infantile worldview, but rather that they included fantasy elements such as vampires.  Icedragon’s work is still the same adolescent drivel that Meyer’s is, and it’s far worse in all areas, but it’s considered by its fans to be “adult” because it involves S&M and not vampires.  If anything it’s the opposite.  Having fantasy elements in a story has no bearing on whether it’s for kids or adults, and stories that market themselves as being “adult” seem always to be more childish than anything for children.  Master of the Universe (or “Fifty Shades,” if you prefer) exemplifies this; it understands sex about as deeply as a fourth-grader drawing penises on the inside of his desk.

Fifty Shades is Born

Just as happened with My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie, the explicit and often perverse sexual content led fanfiction.net to take down Master of the Universe.  Snowqueens Icedragon therefore created her own website where she could upload her sick fan-fiction without censorship.  Eventually she renamed all the characters, Bella Swan becoming Anastasia Steele and Edward Cullen becoming Christian Grey, and published her faeces through a virtual publisher from Australia as “Fifty Shades of Grey.”  This time she used the pseudonym “E. L. James,” but I don’t care.  Anyone who writes a book like this deserves no better name than Snowqueens Icedragon.

In spite of the overwhelming amount of evidence to back up the fact that Fifty Shades is fan fiction, and despite Icedragon even having admitted it, many fans refuse to admit that Master of the Universe was a Twilight Saga fan-fiction at all.  Instead they religiously believe it to have been based on a true story, and therefore that it is a one hundred percent realistic portrayal of BDSM.  In their minds, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey are real people and this is their story.  Let me make this absolutely clear: Master of the Universe is not based on a true story; it’s based on a mormon sex fantasy based on a dream that Stephanie Meyer had.

I’m not going to hold back with this one.  Snowqueens Icedragon or Erika Mitchell or E. L. James or whatever the hell you want to call her doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt.  Her books are dangerous.  They’re dangerous because they portray blatant abuse up to and including rape, and instead of acknowledging it as such they pretend it’s all just kinks in the bedroom.  Again, let me be as clear as I can be; what Fifty Shades portrays is not BDSM.

Concerning BDSM

In case you’re unaware, BDSM stands for “bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism” or something to that effect.  I don’t claim to understand BDSM, but after even the small amount of research I did for this review I think I understand it better than Snowqueens Icedragon does.  Here’s the thing about S&M; the “dominant” is supposed to be a sadist and the “submissive” is supposed to be a masochist.  Bella isn’t a masochist; she’s just an idiot.

There are videos on YouTube that talk in more detail about the differences between real S&M and the abuse that Snowqueen’s Icedragon portrays in her books.  At least one such video is by someone called The Dom, who’s dabbled in S&M.  He explains that if the submissive isn’t a masochist then it’s not S&M; it’s abuse.

Fifty Shades of Grey Begins

Now that’s out of the way, let’s see what the worst piece of coproliterature ever to get published has to offer, shall we?  What could be so bad that Sir Salman Rushdie would say of it, “I’ve never read anything so badly written that got published.  It made ‘Twilight’ look like ‘War and Peace.’”?

“I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror.  Damn my hair—it just won’t behave, and damn Rose for being ill and subjecting me to this ordeal.” Fifty Shades of Grey (Master of the Universe)

From the very beginning there’s something wrong with the prose.  For one thing it’s written in the first-person present tense, which, at least for me, is an instant turn-off.  Where storytelling is concerned, the present tense is a tense in which it’s notoriously hard to write well.  I’ve only ever seen a handful of authors pull it off, and even then those works were usually in third-person present.  Indeed, half of them only worked because the stories were about time-travel and therefore well-suited to the neutrality of third-person present.  Concerning stories not involving time-travel, I’ve found few indeed that succeeded with the present tense.  Ironically the rather more difficult “ first-person present tense” seems to be the favourite tense of amateurs, the very people who absolutely shouldn’t be attempting it.

The First Paragraph

But whom am I kidding?  The tense is far from the only thing wrong with the prose in this thing!  Even were this written in the past tense it would still be among the worst pieces of writing out there.  Though you wouldn’t know it from those first few sentences, the punctuation, grammar, and spelling are all just about what you’d expect from a Twilight Saga fan-fiction.

“I have tried to brush my hair into submission but it’s not toeing the line. I must learn not to sleep with it wet. I recite this five times as a mantra whilst I try, once more, with the brush. I give up. The only thing I can do is restrain it, tightly, in a pony tail and hope that I look reasonably presentable.” Master of the Universe

And it only gets worse from here.  Also, if she’s actually saying the words “I must not sleep with it wet,” then it should be in quotation marks, shouldn’t it?  And I see she has the same love of commas as George R. R. Martin .  To be fair, some of these mistakes were fixed in the eBook version after Icedragon made it big, but the improvement is less pronounced than one would hope:

“I should be studying for my final exams, which are next week, yet here I am trying to brush my hair into submission.  I must not sleep with it wet.  I must not sleep with it wet.  Reciting this mantra several times, I attempt, once more, to bring it under control with the brush.  I roll my eyes in exasperation and gaze at the pale, brown-haired girl with blue eyes too big for her face staring back at me, and give up.  My only option is to restrain my wayward hair in a ponytail and hope that I look semi-presentable.” Fifty Shades of Grey

I half expected her to compare her blue eyes to “limpid tears” or misspell “gothic.”  It’s a small improvement over the original, but it’s still shit.  We’re then introduced to Rosalie Hale.  In The Twilight Saga she was another member of the quasi-incestuous vampire clan Edward belongs to.  In Fifty Shades she’s Bella’s roommate for the same reason that Draco Malfoy is Harry Potter ’s ex-boyfriend in My Immortal.

Cullen/Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

Instead of being a vampire, Icedragon’s version of Edward Cullen is a rich psychopath, and Bella goes to interview him as a grudging favour to Rosalie.  We see some of his unethical hiring practices, and then we get this line:

“The elevator whisks me at terminal velocity to the twentieth floor.” Fifty Shades of Grey

Terminal velocity?  It becomes clear at this point that Icedragon doesn’t know what words mean.  You might think she’s speaking figuratively, but if you know her writing you’ll know that she uses the word “figuratively” to denote when she’s speaking figuratively.

“…but he’s no literary hero, not by any stretch of the imagination.  Is Cullen? My subconscious asks me, her eyebrow figuratively raised.” Master of the Universe

O, you thought I was joking?  No; she actually does that.  This brings us to one of the most ridiculous aspects of this train-wreck: Bella’s “subconscious” and “inner goddess.”  This is a big part of why Fifty Shades is worse than Game of Thrones ; George R. R. Martin is at least able to convey character emotions in ways other than interpretive dance .  Snowqueens Icedragon isn’t.

The “Subconscious” and Inner Goddess

Bella’s subconscious, as fate would have it, is another example of how Icedragon doesn’t know what words mean.  Subconscious means you’re not fully aware of it.  Bella’s subconscious, however, is the exact opposite of subconscious, as Bella hears her as a voice in her head and sees her as a fully-conscious person.

“Try to be cool Bella – my subconscious implores me.”

As others have said before, it’s not subconscious if you’re consciously aware of it.  This shouldn’t surprise anyone, as Snowqueens Icedragon’s already proven that she, as they say, “ain’t speak no english no good.”  Moving on, there’s the “inner goddess.”

“oh my… my inner goddess is doing a triple axle dismount off the asymmetric bars…”

“My inner goddess is jumping up and down… clapping her hands like a five-year-old… please, let’s do this… otherwise we’ll end up alone, with lots of cats, and your classic novels to keep you company.”

“My inner goddess glows so bright she could light up Portland.”

And just in case you thought it was only a quirk of Bella’s, I must inform you that she uses this device for all her characters.  Snowqueens Icedragon would later go on to write a version of the story from Edward’s perspective, and his “cock” is a personified character in the story.  I shit you not.

“Miss Steele is a carnal treasure.  She will be a joy to train.  My cock twitches in agreement.”

This is how Icedragon thinks men think.  This is unsurprising, given how she thinks women think.  Perhaps it’s the way she and her fans are, but neither I nor anyone else I’ve talked to thinks this way.

Interview With a Sadist

Bella interviews Edward, and the fluttering of her eyelids is explicitly stated to match her heart-rate.  We learn that Edward loves controlling and manipulating people and is quite good at it, and with everything else we learn about him throughout the course of the story, is it any wonder many are convinced he’s a psychopath?  Edward instantly develops a sick obsession with Bella—sick enough to make vampire Edward’s infatuation look wholesome.  As you would expect, the rich, dictatorial older man relentlessly stalks the young Bella with the eventual goal of making her his tortured concubine.  Over the following weeks, we learn that Icedragon can’t even stick to her ill-conceived choice of tense.

“I am restless that night, tossing and turning.”

In case you’re hesitant to call Edward a stalker, Icedragon sets things straight by having him hack into and subsequently track her phone; approach her at work while appropriately joking about being a serial killer; and attack a sexual predator not out of compassion for Bella, but because he can’t stand the thought of anyone else having her.  He manages to carry the unconscious young woman all the way to his penthouse without anyone with a shred of humanity noticing him or calling the peelers.  So begins Edward Cullen’s manipulation of Bella Swan, which he carries out with the efficiency of a seasoned cult leader.

A Worse Love Story Than The Twilight Saga

Bella’s not exactly a likeable character, but Edward is nothing short of pure evil.  This is in stark contrast to The Twilight Saga, where they’re both just about equally despicable—we hate Bella more only because we’re exposed to more of her.  Here Bella is clearly being abused by a sadist with an increasing degree of power over her.  His every move is consistent with that of a cult leader recruiting followers.

Edward begins by berating Bella for acting like the twenty-one-year-old she is.  Then he tells her he wants a shag, but she has to sign a non-disclosure agreement first.  Almost immediately afterwards he snogs her in the elevator.  We’re meant to believe that his “love” for her causes him to lose control (which is creepy enough as it is), but it feels like he’s deliberately doing this to manipulate her.  They go on one date in a helicopter and Bella signs the non-disclosure agreement.  Immediately she asks:

“Does this mean you’re going to make love to me tonight, Edward?” Bella Swan, Fifty Shades of Grey

Spoken like someone who’s hiring a prostitute for the fifth time.  Good job, Icedragon; you’ve made your heroine a john.

“No Isabella it doesn’t. Firstly… I don’t make love. I fuck…hard. Secondly, there‘s a lot more paperwork to do… and thirdly, you don’t yet know what you’re in for and you could still run for the hills. Come… I want to show you my playroom.” Edward Cullen, Fifty Shades of Grey

Get stuffed, Edward.  Now that’s out of the way…  You know exactly where it goes from there.  I don’t doubt that if you’re reading this you also know what colour and material Edward used to line the walls of his “playroom.”  Edward explains that he’s a sadist and wants to beat her even though she’s not a masochist.  In return he offers her “himself,” by which he means his money.  Great!  Now he’s the john!

Abuse, Abuse, and More Abuse

And so begins the main selling point of this garbage: the “sex” and the “BDSM.”  The word “sex” is in quotes because sex without the proper consent is not sex; it is rape !  The acronym “BDSM” is in quotes because BDSM without the proper consent is not BDSM; it is abuse !  Edward tries to convince Bella to sign a contract that they both know he wouldn’t be able to enforce in court.  By Edward’s actions thus far, I’m sure he’d try to enforce it all the same.  Essentially the contract demands that she sign away her right to withdraw consent, making the contract illegal.  Apparently BDSM contracts do exist, but I’ve heard the point of them is communication between the parties concerning their limits, as opposed to legally binding agreements allowing the dominant to straight-up rape the submissive—O, we’ll get to that.

You’re Doing BDSM Wrong!

Bella and Edward’s sick sexual “relationship” begins, and Edward takes great pleasure in beating Bella, who takes no pleasure in it at all—quite the opposite, in fact.  In one scene, Edward asks Bella:

“How did you feel while I was hitting you… and after?” Edward Cullen, Fifty Shades of Grey

Bella answers:

“I didn’t like it… I’d rather you didn’t do it again.” Bella Swan, Fifty Shades of Grey

To which Edward responds:

“You weren’t meant to like it.” Edward Cullen, Fifty Shades of Grey

Er… I’m pretty sure she is meant to like it; that’s the whole damn point of BDSM, you pathetic hack of a writer!

For My Pleasure, Not Yours

“I want you and I want you now. And if you‘re not going to let me spank you – which you deserve – I‘m going to fuck you on the couch this minute, quickly, for my pleasure, not yours.” Edward Cullen, Fifty Shades of Grey.

This is not role-play; this is not BDSM.  This is the definition of an abusive relationship!  Now on to the worst part of this already irredeemable fan-fiction.

Straight-Up Rape

Bella soon decides to pretend to break up with Edward just to see how he’ll react, because Snowqueens Icedragon can’t even keep her abusive relationship consistent as to who’s the abuser.  Soon Edward’s back to being the abuser, as he reacts by breaking into Bella’s home and raping her.

“No…” I protest, trying to kick him off. He stops. “If you struggle, I’ll tie your feet too.  If you make a noise, Isabella, I will gag you.  Keep quiet.  Rosalie is probably outside listening right now.”

It doesn’t matter that her breaking up with him was only a sick prank; he doesn’t know that, and even if he did, breaking into someone’s house and penetrating them amidst their protests is rape—plain and simple.  Even if we, the audience, know that her reason for protesting is likely that she’s self-conscious about her foot-odour (yes, really), she did not give consent.  As far as I can tell, this is an unambiguous rape scene.  Although this is among the best known, there are many scenes in this abhorrent story that likely meet the criteria for rape.

What Does Erika Mitchell Think of All This?

If you’re going to portray rape in literature (not that this is literature) then you have to make it clear that it’s a bad thing, to say the least.  Not only that, but you also have to make any rape scenes you include sufficiently horrifying, and you need to properly portray the trauma that the victim will inevitably suffer both during and after the atrocity.  Erika Mitchell does none of this, and her rape scenes are the worst I’ve ever read.  This is likely because she’s wholly unaware that any of this is rape, as she made clear in an interview:

“It’s basically a love story… with some kinky sex in it…” E. L. James

George R. R. Martin can’t tell the difference between his rape scenes and his sex scenes, but at least he realizes that his book has rape scenes.  Snowqueens Icedragon doesn’t even know there’s rape in her story at all.  Martin constantly downplays the physical and psychological trauma of rape and tries to make his rapists sympathetic, but Icedragon presents hers as a fantasy for women to aspire to.  Martin’s trying to be edgy, but Icedragon is actually trying to be romantic, and that makes her rape scenes even worse than his.  It is possible, however, that she knows full well that what she’s portraying is rape and just doesn’t see a problem with it, as this is what she said in another interview:

“I think there’s so much shame surrounding sex…  If you’re tied up then you can’t resist and you’re not responsible for your own actions, and then you can enjoy whatever’s happening to you, and you have less shame.” E. L. James

If this is what Snowqueens Icedragon thinks about rape, then she is deliberately ruining people’s lives, because there are many people whom this story influences.  There are women who’ve taken to BDSM because they loved these books so much, and if the BDSM in Icedragon’s stories is what they’re trying to emulate, that means they’re doing BDSM wrong .  I doubt I need tell you how dangerous it is for fans of this book to perform BDSM in an unsafe manner; I assume that’s common knowledge among everyone who isn’t a fan of this dreadful series.

A Harmful Work of Fiction

It’s clear to me (someone who’s decidedly repulsed by BDSM and who’s done as little research as I could) that Erika Mitchell, in true Meyer-fan fashion, did only the barest minimum of research before writing and publishing a book on the subject.  There are certain people who are aroused and experience pleasure from certain levels of pain and humiliation, but Edward utterly dominating Bella in every facet of her life isn’t BDSM because Bella isn’t a masochist and therefore doesn’t enjoy it.  BDSM, like any type of sex, is supposed to be consensual between two people who are really enjoying it.  This is not what Fifty Shades portrays.

There are women who stay in abusive relationships because their partners remind them of Edward Cullen (renamed Christian Grey).  There are women who try unsafe things because a fan-fiction writer has convinced them that these things are romantic.  I wonder whether they’d think it romantic were Edward/Christian not so unassessably wealthy.  I’m sure there are men who’ve read it and now think the sorts of things Edward does are acceptable and consequently become abusers themselves.

The Worst Book Ever?

Fifty Shades of Grey is without a doubt the worst piece of media I have ever read, watched, or smelt.  Erika Mitchell has been likened to “a Bronte devoid of talent,” but calling her “a Bronte devoid of talent” is insulting to the hypothetical idea of a Bronte devoid of talent; it takes a lot worse then a lack of talent to write something like this.  It is worse than Game of Thrones; it’s worse than Violence Jack; it’s worse than Midori: Shōjo Tsubaki.  At least Go Nagai clearly knew he was writing exploitation horror when he wrote Violence Jack.  Sure, Violence Jack is a protagonist so bland he makes Harry Potter look like fucking Hamlet, but at least Go Nagai didn’t think he was writing an Aesop or something!  Erika Mitchell actually thinks her rapesploitation crap is a deep romance that her readers should emulate; she makes George R. R. Martin look like the genius people think he is.

A True Abomination

I usually judge a work based not only on its quality, but also on its potential do real good or real evil.  By this standard too, Fifty Shades of Grey is among the worst pieces of literature ever to infiltrate the mainstream; the worst if you ignore deliberate hate-propaganda.  Even a lot of hate-propaganda has better storytelling, and I’d guess much of it has better prose.  There exists in Erika Mitchell’s work no faint redeeming quality; indeed, it’s made me realize just how many redeeming qualities other bad stories have by comparison.  If there’s any book whose copies should be rounded up, its original manuscript buried where no one will ever find it, it is this one.  In none of the languages into which this book’s been translated will you ever find a curse severe enough to describe this abomination.  Must I continue to think of ways to describe its horror?  You get the picture; Fifty Shades of Grey is the pseudo-literary embodiment of pure evil.  Don’t read it.

Long after writing this article, I did discover a worse work of fiction: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand.

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Fifty Shades of Grey

2015, Romance/Drama, 2h 5m

What to know

Critics Consensus

While creatively better endowed than its print counterpart, Fifty Shades of Grey is a less than satisfying experience on the screen. Read critic reviews

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Fifty shades of grey videos, fifty shades of grey   photos.

When college senior Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) steps in for her sick roommate to interview prominent businessman Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) for their campus paper, little does she realize the path her life will take. Christian, as enigmatic as he is rich and powerful, finds himself strangely drawn to Ana, and she to him. Though sexually inexperienced, Ana plunges headlong into an affair -- and learns that Christian's true sexual proclivities push the boundaries of pain and pleasure.

Rating: R (Language|Graphic Nudity|Sexual Dialogue|Some Unusual Behavior|Strong Sexual Content)

Genre: Romance, Drama

Original Language: English

Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson

Producer: Michael De Luca , E.L. James , Dana Brunetti

Writer: Kelly Marcel

Release Date (Theaters): Feb 13, 2015  wide

Release Date (Streaming): Jan 5, 2016

Box Office (Gross USA): $166.1M

Runtime: 2h 5m

Distributor: Focus Features

Production Co: Michael De Luca

Sound Mix: Dolby Digital

Cast & Crew

Dakota Johnson

Anastasia Steele

Jamie Dornan

Christian Grey

Jennifer Ehle

Eloise Mumford

Victor Rasuk

Luke Grimes

Marcia Gay Harden

Max Martini

Andrew Airlie

Callum Keith Rennie

Rachel Skarsten

Emily Fonda

Sam Taylor-Johnson

Kelly Marcel

Screenwriter

Michael De Luca

Dana Brunetti

Marcus Viscidi

Executive Producer

Danny Elfman

Original Music

Seamus McGarvey

Cinematographer

David Wasco

Production Design

Debra Neil-Fisher

Film Editing

Anne V. Coates

Lisa Gunning

Mark Bridges

Costume Design

Francine Maisler

Laurel Bergman

Art Director

Sandy Reynolds-Wasco

Set Decoration

Sandy Walker

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Critic Reviews for Fifty Shades of Grey

Audience reviews for fifty shades of grey.

I won't even get into why the novel sounds like utterly asinine stuff and concentrate why the movie is probably a lot more tame and also nothing to get excited about. Sure, there are some entertaining and amusing parts and, of course, a few sex scenes that show a lot of Johnson, but once the whips are whipped out things get really repetitive until there suddenly isn't much of an ending and the film just stops. Especially the last 15 minutes with all the crying are really boring and annoying. Avoid and watch porn instead.

With unintentionally hilarious dialogue, terrible writing, bad plot and just about everything being a disaster. Fifty Shades of Grey is nothing more than a porno with piss poor storytelling and dialogue. Though to be honest most pornos have better stories than this disaster of a flick. Best part, we're getting 2 more of these.... yay?....... please don't waste your time with this movie...

Though the depiction of a BDSM relationship as solely abusive is ridiculous, and the characters are bland cardboard cutouts, some of this I actually enjoyed. It makes fun of itself occasionally and can actually warrant a laugh. Visually this film is pretty well shot, with balanced, eye catching frames, and beautiful visuals of the Seattle landscape. The soundtrack and songs were really tonally perfect, though I didn't see the film as a love story so much as an off-balance depiction of an already degraded and misunderstood group of people.

Not as good as the book but still interesting

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