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5 Great Examples On How to Start A College Application Essay on Sports

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Where do you even start when you’re brainstorming possible essay topics for your college application essays ? Some go for a walk to get inspired, and others look back on their own experiences. Here are 5 college students who decided to talk about their athletic achievements, or used sports as a metaphor:

Amherst College ‘20

The lessons I have learned in tennis can apply to everybody’s life. When someone begins learning tennis, the main focus is to keep the ball in play. Keep the ball going back and forth until you win the point. I honestly struggled keeping up my motivation in high school. However once I finally found a very steady source, it made life much easier and it kept me going much longer. Keep reading.

University of Pennsylvania ‘18

Numerous times I felt like giving up on my basketball dreams yet I didn’t want to be labeled a quitter. Instead, I wanted to one day tell a story just like Michael Jordan’s and how he was initially cut from the varsity team only to end up becoming the best player in the world; this became the driving force of my basketball obsession after I didn’t make the varsity team during my freshman year. View full profile .

Green Water

Dartmouth college ‘18.

Gliding above the liquid glass, I take deep breathes, setting a rhythm for my crew to act together with one mind. Putrid green bubbles can be seen, rising to the water’s surface to gently greet the most crimson-colored sunset found in the Sacramento Valley, only to be crushed by the blade found at the end of my Yao Ming-sized sweeping oar. Each stroke, I pull harder than I did on the one that came before it; each stroke I tear skin from the blisters found on the joints of my fingers that grasp my oar; each stroke I carry my weapon of bubble destruction with more and more confidence. In the long haul of a two-thousand meter race I remember that the pain I feel is temporary and that I am fully capable of pulling my way past the finish line. Read more .

Harvard University ‘17

It all happened within a split second.  I held the orange leather ball firmly between my hands as steaming droplets of sweat ran from my forehead to the tips of my fingers. My lungs desperately begged for oxygen as I stood right before the maroon line fifteen feet away from the basket, crouched into my shooting stance that had been perfected through the hours of repetition spent on this very spot.  Despite the meticulous preparation, my knees trembled out of fear and anxiety.  All eyes within the gymnasium were placed on me—the shortest of the ten in uniform on the hardwood floor.  Tightly shutting my eyes and stiffening my lips, I deeply meditated on the foul shot that was about to be taken.  As the cheers filled my ears, I recalled the days in the past when all of this was a brand new experience; slowly, the roar of the crowd faded to a low murmur then to an utter silence. Continue reading .

Whartonschool19

University of pennsylvania ‘19.

“The 50m freestyle is next. Swimmers, take your positions.” I stepped onto the diving platform as the announcer’s voice echoed through the natatorium and tightened my goggles, not too tight, but just right, like Goldilocks’ porridge. This was my debut since my hiatus from the U10 YMCA Sharks. Standing on the diving board, I could feel the power of the room engulf my being; energy filled my body while my fingers began to tingle. “Chariots of Fire” by Vangelis began to play in my ears. View full profile .

Have you started brainstorming what you should write for your college application essay? If you’re interested in writing about it on sports , unlock the one of the above profiles for free to read the full essay for inspiration! 

Choosing where to go to college is an incredibly important decision. Make an informed choice by talking to current students on our  mentorship platform . Access 60,000+ successful  college application files  uploaded by college students (they get paid when you view them). AdmitSee is a community of students helping students. Our goal is to bring much-needed transparency to higher education. 

About The Author

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.

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• 2. College Application Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 2)
• 3. College Admissions Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 1)

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• 7. College Tours 101: Everything You Need to Know
• 8. Waitlisted? 5 Ways to Move from the College Waitlist to Acceptance
• 9. When (and why) should you send additional materials to colleges you’re interested in?
• 10. How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out
• 1. How to Write College Essays to Boost your Chances Part 2: Focusing the Priority
• 2. How to Write College Essays to Boost your Chances Part 1: Biggest Essay Mistakes
• 3. College Application Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 2)
• 5. Winners of the AdmitSee 2020 College Scholarship
• 6. COVID-19 and Your College Essay: Should You Write About It?
• 7. Education, Access and Systemic Racism
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• 9. How to Get Off the College Waitlist (5 Go-To Strategies)
• 10. College admissions prep during the Coronavirus

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The College Application Process for Student-Athletes

The college application process for athletes can seem overwhelming. With so much to think about and accomplish—from putting together your athletic profile to attending events and making sure the right coaches see you play—it’s easy to forget the fact that you actually have to apply to college. If you’re not organized and miss important deadlines, there’s no real safety net. It’s up to you to manage your time wisely so you can sign on the dotted line and begin your college athletic career.

How does the college application process work?

Each college’s admissions process is different. In addition to the applicants’ academics, extracurriculars, application essays and recommendation letters, admissions counselors also need to consider the college’s unique factors like enrollment projections, student body diversity, faculty and recruitment goals.

The application goes through an evaluation process to eliminate applicants who have not met the minimum institutional requirements. Applications that move forward then go to the committee, where admissions counselors read applications and determine who gets accepted. 

Students who are clearly a good fit for the school will get accepted, but other applicants who need more review may go through several rounds of evaluation. College admissions officers want to know if you’re a well-rounded individual who can help the college reach its admissions and retention goals.

College application process steps 

There are seven main steps to the college application process for student-athletes.

• Register for and take the ACT or SAT
• Register with the NCAA Eligibility Center (for D1 and D2) and/or the NAIA Eligibility Center
• Fill out and send college applications
• Fill out and submit FAFSA paperwork
• Request your final amateurism certification
• Send your final proof of graduation to the Eligibility Center(s)
• Sign your acceptance letter

Download NCSA’s College Application Process Checklist >

ACT and SAT registration and test dates 

Student-athletes enrolling in a D1 or D2 college program are no longer required to take a standardized test to meet NCAA eligibility requirements. Eligibility will only be calculated based on  NCAA core course GPA  and the  core course requirements . However, many colleges still require ACT or SAT scores to be admitted and to be considered for academic scholarships.   

You can view 2023-24 ACT/SAT registration and test dates here . 

Insider tip : When it comes to studying for standardized tests, the more you learn about the tests, and the earlier you practice them, the better prepared you’ll be when test day comes. Learn test-taking strategies, time management skills and the types of questions frequently asked on the ACT and SAT with our partner,  Method Learning . 

Do recruited athletes have to apply to college?

If you have already been recruited, you may be wondering, do recruited athletes have to apply to college? The answer is yes. Recruited student-athletes must submit a college application to the school that recruited them. 

Some decide not to apply to a college until after they have taken an official campus visit . Others have already applied, been accepted and received a scholarship offer when they go on their official visit. Either way, it’s important to let the recruiting coach know once you’ve applied so they can be on the lookout for your application.

When do you apply for college?

The most popular time for students to apply to college is in the fall of their senior year of high school. Admissions experts say that, generally, a student should begin the application process by the start of their senior year of high school. Some colleges may have different deadlines, but most applications for regular fall admissions are due by January.

College application tips

By the time you’re ready to apply to college—usually the summer before your senior year—you should have your  target list of schools  narrowed down. You can apply to as many colleges as you’d like, but keep in mind that there are application fees involved and filling out the forms can be time-consuming. Every college has different deadlines for its admissions process, so make sure you have a method for organizing those important dates. A good practice is to create a spreadsheet or calendar to stay on top of the various timelines.

Insider tip : Student-athletes should consider using the Common Application , which allows you to send multiple schools the same application information at once. It’s a huge time-saver.

You have three application choices:

• Apply for an early decision
• Choose a rolling decision option
• Apply as part of the regular decision process

Each of these options has different deadlines. Most student-athletes decide to apply as part of the regular decision, so they have more time to make a final decision on the program they are most interested in or get their test scores up.

When are college applications due?

College applications for regular admission are due January 1. Some deadlines can vary based on the college or type of application. Early decision and early action applications are due November 1 and November 15.

College application deadlines

The table below lists the most common college application deadlines for various application options, such as early action and regular decision.

Are Ivy League or Top-50 colleges on your target list? CollegeAdvisor.com offers 1-on-1 guidance from admissions experts to strengthen your college applications and boost your chances of admission.

Early action vs. Early decision

Early action and early decision applications are important when applying to college. They can make it easier to get accepted early, but you need to plan ahead and know which college you want to go to. The big difference is that early decision means you have to go to that college if they accept you, while early action is more flexible and just gives you an early answer about your acceptance.

For more on the topic, check out this video featuring D3 Kalamazoo College swim coach Jay Daniels and former D1 and D3 swim coach Danny Koenig. 

Can you apply to multiple schools early action? 

Most schools allow you to apply early in one of two ways: early decision or early action. Since early action is non-binding, meaning you are not required to attend if you are accepted, you can apply to multiple schools from your target list. An advantage of early action over early decision is the opportunity to compare financial aid packages from those colleges to make the best decision for you. 

Should you apply early decision? 

Applying early decision can save you money, reduce stress, increase your chances of acceptance and provide more time for planning. It’s especially appealing for student-athletes who’ve found their ideal college athletically, academically, socially and financially.

Early decision may not be the right choice for you if:

• You’re unsure about the college/school
• You haven’t done enough research
• You need to improve your grades in the final semester

What’s the Common Application?

The Common Application (also known as the Common App) is a form that student-athletes fill out with general information like academic history, standardized test scores, extracurricular activities, and an essay, which can be sent to various participating colleges and universities. It allows students to apply to multiple colleges and universities simultaneously by filling out a single application. While the Common App is free to use, every college charges its own application processing fee.

How to write a college application essay

Since courses, grades, and standardized test scores are set factors in the application process, a student-athlete’s personal essay is an opening to tell their story, display their interests, talents and motivations. When writing a college essay, student-athletes want to write something that stands out from the large stacks of essays college admissions professionals read. 

The tips below will help student-athletes prepare and write an essay that might land them in their dream college.

• Choose the right essay topic. Since there are no restrictions, student-athletes should take their time choosing a topic they are passionate about—one which they can explore extensively. Ideally, they should pick a topic that highlights aspects about them that would make them a great addition to a team’s roster.
• Seek assistance. When writing their essay, student-athletes should work closely with their academic counselor. Together, they should review the application instructions for schools the student-athlete is applying to – at some schools, they may be able to submit a video instead of a written essay. Athletes should also consider working with a network of admissions professionals like College Advisor , which guides students through the admissions process, including robust essay writing support to maximize the student’s acceptance. 
• Be thorough. Avoid mistakes that will make it look like the athlete was careless when writing their essay. Be sure to follow guidelines provided for the length of the essay and read through the essay several times to catch errors. It’s also a good idea to have a parent and/or teacher read through your essay and provide feedback. 
• Be honest and use your voice. Genuine work is easily detected. An essay is an opportunity to differentiate the student-athlete from other applicants with similar test scores and GPAs, so it’s important to be original and authentic, rather than relying on generic or overused ideas.

Understanding the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA®)

While a full-ride scholarship to the school of your dreams is what every student-athlete wants, the reality is that only 2 percent of high school athletes are awarded athletic scholarships, and an even smaller percentage of that receive full rides. And there are no athletic scholarships at the D3 school level. Luckily, all students are eligible for financial aid to supplement scholarship dollars .

To receive financial aid, students must complete the  Free Application for Federal Students (FAFSA®) .

If you miss the college or state deadline for FAFSAÒ, you are not likely to receive much financial aid, if any. If you miss the federal deadline, you’re out of luck for that year. However, you can submit for the following year. To learn more about the state and federal deadlines, you can visit our  financial aid guide for student-athletes .

NCAA Amateurism Certificate

Starting April 1 of your senior year, you must request your final amateurism certificate if you plan to play in a D1 or D2 institution in the fall.

If you’re enrolling in the Winter/Spring, you can request your final amateurism certificate starting October 1. To be eligible to compete and receive a scholarship with the NCAA, you have to meet certain requirements . You have likely already registered with the NCAA Eligibility Center during your junior year, but you must update the information in your senior year in order to become certified and cleared to play at the college level.

Final transcripts and proof of graduation

After you graduate high school, you must prove to the NCAA that you’ve done so. The best way is to have transcripts sent to the NCAA Eligibility Center with your graduation date included. If you can’t provide a transcript with the graduation date included, an administrator at your high school can sign a proof of graduation and fax it to the Eligibility Center.

Tell the coach when you’ve applied

One of the most common mistakes student-athletes make in the application process is not letting the coach know when they’re applying to the school. If an athlete applies and doesn’t get in, there’s nothing they—or the coach—can do about it. But if the coach knows that an athlete submitted their application, they may be able to flag it with the admissions office. Of course, an athlete’s test scores, GPA and application need to stand on their own, but coaches will want to know when top recruits have applied to their school.

If the athlete doesn’t have a relationship established with the coaching staff, they should still let them know when the application was submitted. It may remind the coach to take a second glance at the athlete’s recruiting profile and video. For many coaches, deciphering whether a recruit is seriously interested in their program or not can be a challenge, so communicating about your application to the college may give you a competitive edge over other recruits.

The role of college coaches in the admissions process

College coaches can serve as both an aid and a barrier in a recruit’s college admissions process. Below is a list of the main ways college coaches get involved:

• “Walk your application through”: College coaches usually have some sort of input on recruits being admitted, depending on the college, the sport and the influence of the coach in question. This process is often referred to as “walking your application through,” but even the most powerful coaches have a limited influence with admissions. In most cases, coaches are going to reserve this power for elite recruits. With that said, a college coach only has so much influence and recruits trying to get admitted to a strong academic school that don’t have the required grades would be a lot more difficult.
• Secure financial aid: Access to additional aid is important for many student-athletes, especially those playing in equivalency sports with smaller athletic scholarship budgets and Division 3 programs that don’t offer athletic scholarships. College coaches can coordinate with their college to line up financial assistance for recruits, including academic scholarships, need-based aid and other forms of financial help. 
• Dismiss unqualified recruits: If a college coach sees that an athlete may not meet the academic or athletic standards to gain admission on their own, then coaches may not even bother recruiting them. When building a list of prospective schools, athletes should have a good understanding of whether or not they meet the requirements to be admitted and if it’s realistic to add the school to their list.

Acceptance letter

Nothing is official until you receive an acceptance letter. And, even then, if you don’t formally accept, you haven’t made it quite yet. Each school has its own deadline for when you must accept, so make sure you note that when you receive your letter. If you don’t let them know you intend to come, they will offer your spot up to someone else. You’ve done all the hard work, so it’s time to make it official.

What if a coach recruits me after the application deadline?

Several coaches—especially at the D3 and NAIA levels—recruit student-athletes well into their senior year. Some student-athletes may find themselves in a position where the college coach is actively recruiting them, but the application deadline has passed. Fear not, there’s still a chance the coach may be able to override the deadline if their roster spots aren’t filled.

“Coaches would be calling you in the spring of your senior year knowing that they’ll more than likely be able to still get your application in, if you’re interested in their school,” says Julian Beckwith, Recruiting Coach at NCSA College Recruiting.

So, if an athlete is being recruited by a coach at a school they haven’t applied to, they should be up front and let them know. If the coach is genuinely interested in the athlete, they may be able to still get the athlete’s application in.

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How to Write a Sports-Related Admissions Essay

So you want to write about sports in your college essay? The bad news: you’re one of many student athletes that feel sports have had a huge impact on their lives. The good news: we’re giving you insider tips on how to write a unique admissions essay about sports. Watch below!

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Essay on Sports: 100+ Topics and Examples

How to Write an Essay on Sports

Various sports, like basketball, tennis, and soccer, are popular among young and older generations worldwide. In addition to the fact that playing sports brings mental and physical health in shape, it also projects sportsmen and women's leadership skills. These role models give sports fans reasons to keep rooting for their favorite players and fuel young athletes' motivation to keep practicing and perfecting themselves in various youth sports.

If you are interested in professional sports or the career development of professional athletes, we encourage you to write a college essay on sports.

Choosing a relevant topic when writing an essay on sports requires deep knowledge of a specific sports industry and its representatives.

• Choose a topic of your interest. Usually, tasks we are genuinely curious about require equal mental stimulation but less tension and stress. For instance, you could choose the topic of the influence of physical fitness on mental health in case you are interested in health science.
• Look for relevant resources to provide trustworthy and valuable information regarding the shortlist of sports essay topics. For example, you could check out famous journals that prioritize writing about physical activity and sports cultures, such as the British Journal of Sports Medicine or the Journal of Human Sport and Exercise.
• After gathering relevant data, list the major issues you will write about in the sports essay. For instance, if you'd rather concentrate on the features your favorite athlete acquires, we suggest you write on persuasive sports essay topics. Highlight the major events in the sports career of chosen male or female athletes that helped them go pro.
• Construct an essay outline highlighting the major points you will touch down throughout your essay. This will loosen the essay writing process and will save some time for you as well.
• As you point out the major issue of reflection in the thesis statement part of your introductory paragraph, proceed with the body paragraphs of arguments supporting your perspective regarding the statement.

Keep reading to find a variety of essay topics like an essay on sports day in English, as well as specified issues relating to sports competitions, such as an essay on concussions in sports, etc.

Essay Topics on Sports

College students who are interested in doing and writing about sports can find many essay topics listed below on sports ranging from Olympic games to performance-enhancing drugs, sports nutrition to sports injuries, and so on.

Persuasive Essay Topics on Sports

• Cross-country skiing is the most dangerous winter sport.
• American universities should pay college athletes
• Ice-Skating is the most aesthetically pleasing sport.
• Soccer is one of the most played college sports in the US.
• Alcohol consumption should be prohibited during the Olympic games.
• More awareness should be raised about racist team players in all kinds of sports.
• FIFA's primary mission is to promote intercultural relations.
• We should reconsider the age range of baseball players.
• There is a link between team sports and math.
• Dealing with Medicine is the most disputable issue of the Olympic Games.
• Sports culture in the US is much higher than in East European countries.
• Cricket should be included in the Summer Olympics.
• The UEFA Championship promotes youth sports.
• The New Orleans Saints as a revolutionary NFL team.
• Everyone should be developed at least in one sport.
• Fitness obsession is a benefit for physical health.
• Sports nutrition is more important than physical activity.
• Dancing is one of the best confidence boosters.
• The rise of Charlotte Horne's value because of MJ.
• International teams in football attract a wide range of audience.

Feel free to ask to ' write me an essay ' on a wide range of persuasive essay topics on sports. Our writers are always at your service to help you achieve academic success.

Argumentative Essay Topics on Sports

• Should major sports events be taken in politically dangerous zones?
• Sports programs should be accessible through all types of TV channel packages.
• Transgender athletes should have the freedom to choose their own pronouns.
• Current sports organizations are corrupt.
• Athletic training should be psychological too.
• Soccer is number one of the most popular sports around the US.
• The most quality games were played at the World Cup 2022.
• School athletics should be paid for.
• American football is not popular around the world.
• Ice hockey is the most dangerous of winter sports.
• Sporting events are mostly watched during work days.
• Physical exercise is as important as mental through athletic development.
• Sports psychology: implementation of a mental training course for student-athletes.
• Many current sports organizations degrade women's sports.
• Sports history: development of baseball around the USA.
• Playing sports should be obligatory for school children.
• Professional athletes should be paid more in Western European countries.
• Toxic masculinity ruins the success of team sports.
• Cheerleading should be part of the Olympic games.
• Are video games sports?

Simply ask to do my paper on various argumentative essay topics on sports and receive the high-quality finished product in the nick of time.

Essay on Sports and Games in School

• Should sports be made compulsory in schools?
• The impact of promoting Air Jordans on developing a winner's mindset in school children.
• The importance of having sports clubs in schools.
• Should school sports participation be an excuse to miss classes?
• Governments should encourage more youngsters to play school sports.
• Is sports a solution to the current mental health crisis in school children?
• Should governments promote more opportunities for high schoolers to pursue aesthetically pleasing sports?
• Which sport is most popular among youngsters around the US?
• Should prospective basketball players be rejected due to height measures in school basketball teams?
• The importance of physical therapy in high school athletes.
• Does sport teach the importance of teamwork?
• Should parents encourage students to play sports?
• Can the gym be a substitute for physical fitness?
• Do sports conflict with academic learning?
• Sports medicine application to mental exhaustion in school athletes.
• Does sport help students develop leadership skills?
• Is playing chess stimulating analytical thinking?
• Importance of media coverage of sports events.
• The pressure of performance in sports
• The chances of school students making it into the national basketball team.

Argumentative Essay on Gender Inequality in Sports

Check out some of the best sports essay topics if you are willing to write an argumentative essay on gender inequality in sports:

• Why are female athletes paid less than their male counterparts in most sports?
• Male athletes have more chances of going pro in basketball than women.
• Club sports exclude some players based on gender.
• Male and female athletes are equally resilient to sports injuries.
• Soccer and Ice hockey are male-dominated sports.
• The marketing strategies of UCR's Women's Basketball are inefficient.
• Height should not be a decisive factor for either men's or women's basketball.
• Gender prejudices discriminate against myriads of potentially successful athletes in various sports.
• National teams should be completed with males as well as females.
• Women's sports are not valued as much as Men's sports.
• Sports medicine is actively used by female athletes under pressure to enhance performance.
• The number of female athletes participating in the Olympic games should increase.
• Fewer female students choose to play sports after graduating from high school compared to the number of male students.
• Negative psychological aspects of post-traumatic stress disorder in athletes.
• More female students should be encouraged to play sports while performing their academic duties.
• Comparatively, more men make it to major league baseball than women.
• Performance-enhancing drugs adversely affect growing healthy muscle groups.
• Ancient sports like the ancient Greek Olympics have nothing in common with modern Olympic games.
• Lack of women professional football players in America.
• Women's soccer is less promoted by European high schools than Men's.

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Essay on Benefits of Games and Sports

Playing professional sports brings about its advantages. Consider writing an essay on benefits of games and sports and choose from a wide variety of topics below:

• Benefits of Playing Sports: Improved concentration
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Increased dopamine and serotonin level
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Improved mood
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Improved sleeping habits
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Reduced stress and depression
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Boosted Self-confidence
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Development of leadership traits
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Improved mental health
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Healthy sleeping habits
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Maintaining healthy body weight
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Improved academic performance in school children
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Better scholastic outcomes
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Active blood circulation
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Developing school athletes as better team players
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Enhanced analytic thinking
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Effective multitasking
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Improved mental and physical health.
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Opportunity to develop a career outside the home nation.
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Better communication skills.
• Benefits of Playing Sports: Smart time management.

Essay on My Favorite Sports Person

Famous sports figures often inspire school students. Take a look at the list of topics to write an essay on my favourite sports person:

• Roger Federer: my favorite tennis player
• Tiger Woods: the best golfer in the US
• Cristiano Ronaldo: The GOAT of GOATs.
• Rafael Nadal: the most prominent tennis player in Spain
• Kevin Durant: the rising star of the NBA
• Lebron James: the best basketball player in the modern NBA
• Usain Bolt: greatest sprinter of all time
• Alexi Lalas: most beloved American soccer player
• Michael Schumacher: seven-time World Champion
• Frank Thomas: greatest baseball player
• Shaun White: the best American snowboarder
• Jennie Finch: most honorable softball player in America
• Dirk Nowitzki: the guy who beat Lebron James.
• Kevin Garnett: most emotional and dedicated in NBA
• Ray Bourque: the best of hockey players
• Billie Jean King: Honor for women tennis players
• Bill Elliot: Nascar's most popular driver
• Mark Messier: greatest leader in hockey history
• Khvicha Kvaratskhelia: Rising star of European football
• Maradona: most prominent soccer player of all time

Feel free to write an essay on sports and games for 10th class from the above topics.

Persuasive Essay on Sports Betting

If you decide to write a persuasive essay on sports betting, take some inspiration from the topics below:

• Beginners should be taught how to place a bet.
• Money-line betting is addictive
• Sports betting should be prohibited under the 18
• Betting on NFL wins totals
• Scandal and controversy in sports are always connected to betting
• Game theory has a direct relation to gambling
• Online casinos should be banned
• Math is used in gambling to assess the risks of winning
• Sports bettors are great analysts
• Mobile betting is a better option than desktop
• Sportsbooks are the main guide to learning sports betting
• Gambling is more entertaining than addictive
• The FIFA World Cup has the biggest betting volume
• The Super Bowl makes up half of all sports bets summed up
• Kentucky Derby is one of the highest-rated betting events in horse racing
• The Grand National horse racing attracts the highest sports bettings around the UK
• Las Vegas is the best gambling destination in the world
• Singapore has one of the strictest gambling rules in the world
• Monte Carlo is the classiest gambling point
• Aruba is the Vegas of the Caribbean

Common App Essay on Sports

You can easily craft top-notch essays related to sports in your college application. Take some of the examples from the topics listed below, and do not hesitate to write a common app essay on sports.

• Learning to take constructive criticism as a soccer player
• Sports is the greatest teacher of teamwork
• Keeping a winner mindset through the challenges of chess
• How I Learned to be a leader through my college sports experience
• Basketball taught me the value of my own contribution to the team's success
• How Failures in soccer championships boosted my self-confidence
• The constant practice resulted in major success: how sport taught me the value of invested work
• How I learned to appreciate my body through the aesthetics of ice skating
• Hip-Hop dancing is the best teacher of networking with people of multicultural origins
• Winning a national tournament in swimming after numerous defeats
• Overcoming a sports injury and going back to a fresh start taught me resilience
• Being a part of the basketball team helped me better perceive my athletic abilities
• Coming from a family of immigrants, my soccer team helped me develop a sense of belonging on American land
• Being a high school student and an athlete led me to better time management
• Baseball player enhanced my concentration skills; within me
• Getting in touch with professional sports persons and mentors led me to personal growth
• Learning from mistakes and using defeat for my own benefit is what playing ice hockey taught me
• Running on the track made me become mentally sharp
• I learned how to lead the game through soccer
• Playing sports led me to broaden my network of professionals

Sample College Essay on Sports

The winning mindset plays a major role in helping athletes develop to the best of their potential. The profound legend of modern-day basketball, Michael Jordan is one of those rare athlete leaders that set an example for millions of college basketball players in and out of the USA on mastering his mind and shaping himself through tough discipline. Therefore, if you are interested in sports psychology, you could pick a related topic and represent an athlete or specific sports teams that similarly show off psychological discipline through their performance that later results in their success.

We have prepared a sample essay on sports below. Examine it carefully to understand a sports research paper format better!

Final Words

We are hoping that not only have you gained some ideas about essay topics on sports, but you are also leaving this article with the motivation to keep working despite any rejections or failures that come along the way.

Meanwhile, you can always use a research paper writing help service, and our experts will guide you through your winning essay writing process.

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August 28, 2012

Sports in College Admissions Essays

We generally discourage our students from writing about sports in college admissions essays . Is that a rule we always stick to? No. Every once in a while, we read a great sports essay. But, on the whole, they generally tend to be terrible college admissions essays. Why’s that? They’re trite. They’re predictable. They’re the same thing over and over and over again. College admissions counselors read tons and tons of sports essays every day during reading season. Do you think most really want to read another one? Not really.

Sports admissions essays are typically entirely predictable. You worked hard, you improved, and you accomplished your goal. You worked really hard to achieve a goal but ultimately came up short. You did your very best in spite of not being very good and you walked away proud. You are an excellent athlete and you use your college admissions essay to let college admissions counselors know it (oy vey!). Does this sound about right? In what other direction could you possibly take your essay?

Are there exceptions? Yes. Sports can quite often be exciting. They are full of human emotion. They are full of adrenaline and rivalry. As long as you avoid at all cost trite drivel, it doesn’t have to be avoided like the plague. But it generally should be because too few college applicants are capable of avoiding trite content in sports essays. Maybe if you can tie in history or politics (i.e., The Miracle on Ice) or anything that showcases your intellectual side, you have a fighting shot of avoiding cliche drivel. And that’s exactly what it is when you fail to avoid the cliches — it’s drivel. We urge you to avoid sports college admissions essays, but if you choose to write one — take our advice.

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How and When to Talk About a Sports Injury in Your College Essay

You’ve come up with the perfect essay topic: that sports injury that changed your life. Not only is it a compelling story, but it can also serve as a great metaphor for a larger life experience.

Unfortunately, many other students have the same idea. Sports injuries—and sports in general—are hugely popular topics for college essays. Students often feel compelled to discuss a single moment or event that changed or influenced their lives in these essays, and because so many high schoolers participate in athletics, quite a few have had similar experiences that fit this bill. As young people, college applicants generally have less life experience, so they may not have experienced many other events that affected them on a grand scale.

A sports injury can evoke a lot of emotions—pain and disappointment, to name a few. Recovering from your injury, and describing that recovery, can demonstrate determination, hard work, bravery, perseverance in the face of obstacles, and many other admirable qualities. It’s a natural topic to choose.

But because so many applicants have the same idea, you may not stand out to the admissions committee if you choose to write about a sports injury—and standing out in a large pool of applicants is essential.

Why Should You Generally Avoid Sports Injuries in Essays?

It may seem counterintuitive, but your essay isn’t just a space to talk about yourself. It’s also a tool you use to present yourself to admissions committees, so you need to think strategically. You’re competing against a vast pool of candidates for admission, and many of them have stellar grades and test scores. You need to find a way to stand out . While some other parts of your application are dedicated to your stats, your essay is a place to let your personality shine.

Clichés are not going to help your case. If you use one in your essay, it puts a damper on the whole work. It’s not going to be compelling or engaging if admissions officers have read similar stories many times before.

Creativity and originality are essential for admissions committees; they want to attract students who think innovatively and will develop new ideas, not students who just dutifully follow directions. Think about it: colleges want students who will be leaders in society and ultimately make them look good. Check out Ten Skills to Highlight in Your College Applications to learn more about characteristics colleges are looking for in applicants.

Realistically, most high school athletes won’t go on to play professionally . That’s why you need to hone some skills outside of sports. ( Extracurricular Activities for Student Athletes has some ideas to help you.) It’s also why you should try to discuss topics that are more relevant to your future career or intended major.

That doesn’t mean you must avoid discussing your injury altogether. It’s fine to mention it in your essay or other parts of your application—in fact, you may need to do so to provide context or explain a change of direction—but generally, you shouldn’t use it as your main essay topic.

What if You Really, Really Want to Use this Topic?

If you feel like it’s imperative to highlight your sports injury in your essay, you MUST be creative! Using a topic that’s a bit of a cliché is a huge risk, so you’d better make sure you have something unique to say about it. You also need to be specific. An essay about a general-sounding situation filled with platitudes about life lessons you’ve learned won’t be compelling.

You’re more likely to stand out if your situation is unusual in some way. For instance, if you play a lesser-known or less popular sport such as fencing, you have a better chance of standing out. You may also have a unique spin if you were truly a world-class competitor—we’re talking national teams or Olympic-level here.

Make sure your personality really comes through, and make your essay as personal as possible. Incorporate other topics that are important to you and show who you truly are. For instance, you might discuss how the sport you played is a significant part of your family or cultural history, or how a person you met while playing that sport is important to you.

Your essay must be thoughtful, and you’ll need to demonstrate a deeper interpretation of what this injury meant to you and your life. Don’t just make it a play-by-play account of what happened.

You should also avoid topics that are too controversial. For example, don’t use your injury to wax poetic on your political position , and leave out excessively graphic or gory descriptions of your injury. In other words, don’t make the admissions committee cringe. (That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be descriptive, though!) Also avoid playing the blame game. If you think your injury was someone else’s fault, such as a player on the opposing team, your essay is not a place to point fingers. If you do, you’ll risk coming off as immature and unwilling to accept responsibility for yourself.

Your essay should fit in with the overall picture you paint with your application; colleges want to see a cohesive representation of you and your passions, rather than a disparate jumble of facts. As always, you should demonstrate strong skills in written communication. Proofread, check for typos, ask others to read your essay , and otherwise take time to perfect it well before you hit submit.

For More Information

Your essay is an important piece of your college application. It’s a place where you can really convey your personality and passions to admissions committees. Make at as unique as possible, so you can really stand out. Even if you’re not a natural writer, there are still ways to craft a stellar essay. For more help, check out the posts below.

How to Develop a Personalized Metaphor for Your Applications

How to Come Up With an Idea for a Personal Statement

Where to Begin? 3 Personal Essay Brainstorming Exercises

What If I Don’t Have Anything Interesting To Write About In My College Essay?

How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

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Home Essay Samples

Essay Samples on Sports

When college athletes have to start with an academic writing task, they often feel lost and do not know how to start. It’s exactly the same with other academic subjects because one should take time and find inspiring information that can be used unless you already have a prompt. You can focus on the importance of sports or talk about the pros of recreational sports and spending time outside. See our sport essay example as a starting point and learn how to structure your writing correctly. Your introduction part should start with a brief introduction or statistical information that explains your writing objectives or the peculiarities of the problem that you plan to address. The majority of college essays about sports that you see below will provide you with inspiring ideas and teach you how to implement various quotes without falling into the plagiarism trap. If you want to use some source, remember that you must introduce it first and explain why it is there. When you’re talking about the use of medication in college sports, turn to some stats and explain why these are important or biased as you research. It will help you to add an author’s voice. 

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Using Baseball to Get Into College: The College Application Essay

Now many students have been told to stay away from writing about their sports accomplishments for their college application. Don’t write about leading the team to the championship or what it meant to be team captain. Or even about not being team captain or losing the championship. In such cases, that’s probably good advice. I can imagine it gets pretty boring for admission officers after the first 100 or so essays.

That’s not what I’m talking about.

If you are actually applying to a school that requires you to submit an  essay  as part of your college application then you better be able to do a little thinking about your activities to come up with something to write about.

Baseball is part of our culture

Fortunately for you, you play baseball and there are baseball movies, baseball books, baseball food, and baseball music. Lots of people have been thinking about baseball for over 100 years. Just pay a little attention to the media and you’ll start hearing all sorts of baseball analogies. Don’t know what an analogy is? Time to go look it up.

And the quotes. Just google baseball quotes and see how much has been said about the game.

“In baseball, you can’t kill the clock. You’ve got to give the other man his chance. That’s why this is the greatest game.” ~Earl Weaver

“Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.” ~Babe Ruth

“Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.” ~Ted Williams

“Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.” ~Leo Durocher

Everybody has something to say about baseball. How hard can it be for a player to think about all of these observations and relate it to his experience? Is it true? Does it really matter? Does it affect your game? These are possible college applications about sports that have nothing to do with winning or losing.

Then there are the people. Everyone has heard the  Yogi Berra jokes . Most players have encountered their share of unique individuals playing the game. What have you seen on the field? What have you realized about certain players, positions, or plays that other people around you haven’t? Or maybe they just wouldn’t agree with you. There’s probably a good topic for a college application essay in there somewhere.

There’s more to talk about in sports than just winning and losing

Writing a college application essay  about baseball doesn’t require having some profound experience while playing the game. The last thing my son wanted to do was to write an essay about how great of a baseball player he was (he wasn’t). He ended up writing about the commonly used analogy about judges not making the rules by defining the strike zone, that is creating laws, but rather acting like umpires and just calling balls and strikes, just interpreting the laws.

My son was a catcher. He has always found this statement very amusing. His normal reaction is that the people who make such a statement have obviously never been to a baseball game. Surely you can see where this is going. His college application essay covered his experiences with a variety of umpires and coaches and the effect on the strike zone.

I doubt his essay would show up in books on how to write a college essay or an example of a college application essay that got someone into Harvard. But it showed that he was able to think about baseball in terms other than just winning or losing and that he understood that even with rules, life isn’t always fair. It definitely put a different spin on judges comparing themselves to umpires.

But more importantly, it told the admissions people something about him. He was a homeschool kid and as catcher he spent a lot of time socializing with umpires and batters. See, he could socialize! And then there was the alligators in the sewer conversation that seemed to strike a memorable note.

In any case, think about the possibilities:

a good batting average versus success in life; stealing bases; stealing signs; pants’ legs up or down; concession food; appealing to umpires; unspoken rules; how and when coaches decide to change pitchers; little league parents; the shift; uniform colors; 7th inning stretch; all-star selections; paying to play; the value of keeping a book; selecting team names; moneyball; pre-game rituals; pinch hitters; favorite ballparks:

and much more. All you need to do is take a little time to consider the perception of baseball in general and how it intersects with your experience. There’s at least one good college application essay in that intersection that has nothing to do with playing, or not playing, in the championship.

#CollegeEssay   #CollegeApplication    #Baseball

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• Knowledge Base
• College essay
• College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn’t

College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn't

Published on November 8, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on August 14, 2023.

One effective method for improving your college essay is to read example essays . Here are three sample essays, each with a bad and good version to help you improve your own essay.

Table of contents

Essay 1: sharing an identity or background through a montage, essay 2: overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative, essay 3: showing the influence of an important person or thing, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

This essay uses a montage structure to show snapshots of a student’s identity and background. The writer builds her essay around the theme of the five senses, sharing memories she associates with sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.

In the weak rough draft, there is little connection between the individual anecdotes, and they do not robustly demonstrate the student’s qualities.

In the final version, the student uses an extended metaphor of a museum to create a strong connection among her stories, each showcasing a different part of her identity. She draws a specific personal insight from each memory and uses the stories to demonstrate her qualities and values.

How My Five Senses Record My Life

Throughout my life, I have kept a record of my life’s journey with my five senses. This collection of memories matters a great deal because I experience life every day through the lens of my identity.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

My classmate pulls one eye up and the other down.

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention to my discomfort, anger, and shame. How could he say such a mean thing about me? What did I do to him? Joseph’s words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Soaking in overflowing bubble baths with Andrew Lloyd Webber belting from the boombox.

Listening to “Cell Block Tango” with my grandparents while eating filet mignon at a dine-in show in Ashland.

Singing “The Worst Pies in London” at a Korean karaoke club while laughing hysterically with my brother, who can do an eerily spot-on rendition of Sweeney Todd.

Taking car rides with Mom in the Toyota Sequoia as we compete to hit the high note in “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera . Neither of us stands a chance!

The sweet scent of vegetables, Chinese noodles, and sushi wafts through the room as we sit around the table. My grandma presents a good-smelling mixture of international cuisine for our Thanksgiving feast. My favorite is the Chinese food that she cooks. Only the family prayer stands between me and the chance to indulge in these delicious morsels, comforting me with their familiar savory scents.

I rinse a faded plastic plate decorated by my younger sister at the Waterworks Art Center. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. I actually don’t mind this daily chore.

I taste sweat on my upper lip as I fight to continue pedaling on a stationary bike. Ava’s next to me and tells me to go up a level. We’re biking buddies, dieting buddies, and Saturday morning carbo-load buddies. After the bike display hits 30 minutes, we do a five-minute cool down, drink Gatorade, and put our legs up to rest.

My five senses are always gathering new memories of my identity. I’m excited to expand my collection.

Word count: 455

College essay checklist

Topic and structure

• I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me.
• My essay reveals something different from the rest of my application.
• I have a clear and well-structured narrative.
• I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

Writing style and tone

• I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.
• I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of tells.
• I’ve used appropriate style and tone for a college essay.
• I’ve used specific, vivid personal stories that would be hard to replicate.
• I’ve demonstrated my positive traits and values in my essay.
• My essay is focused on me, not another person or thing.
• I’ve included self-reflection and insight in my essay.
• I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Making Sense of My Identity

Welcome to The Rose Arimoto Museum. You are about to enter the “Making Sense of My Identity” collection. Allow me to guide you through select exhibits, carefully curated memories from Rose’s sensory experiences.

First, the Sight Exhibit.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention as my lip trembles and palms sweat. Joseph couldn’t have known how his words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Ten years later, these same eyes now fixate on an InDesign layout sheet, searching for grammar errors while my friend Selena proofreads our feature piece on racial discrimination in our hometown. As we’re the school newspaper editors, our journalism teacher Ms. Riley allows us to stay until midnight to meet tomorrow’s deadline. She commends our work ethic, which for me is fueled by writing一my new weapon of choice.

Next, you’ll encounter the Sound Exhibit.

Still, the world is my Broadway as I find my voice on stage.

Just below, enter the Smell Exhibit.

While I help my Pau Pau prepare dinner, she divulges her recipe for cha siu bau, with its soft, pillowy white exterior hiding the fragrant filling of braised barbecue pork inside. The sweet scent of candied yams, fun see , and Spam musubi wafts through the room as we gather around our Thankgsiving feast. After our family prayer, we indulge in these delicious morsels until our bellies say stop. These savory scents of my family’s cultural heritage linger long after I’ve finished the last bite.

Next up, the Touch Exhibit.

I rinse a handmade mug that I had painstakingly molded and painted in ceramics class. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. For a few fleeting moments, as I continue my nightly chore, the pressure of my weekend job, tomorrow’s calculus exam, and next week’s track meet are washed away.

Finally, we end with the Taste Exhibit.

My legs fight to keep pace with the stationary bike as the salty taste of sweat seeps into corners of my mouth. Ava challenges me to take it up a level. We always train together一even keeping each other accountable on our strict protein diet of chicken breasts, broccoli, and Muscle Milk. We occasionally splurge on Saturday mornings after interval training, relishing the decadence of everything bagels smeared with raspberry walnut cream cheese. But this is Wednesday, so I push myself. I know that once the digital display hits 30:00, we’ll allow our legs to relax into a five-minute cool down, followed by the fiery tang of Fruit Punch Gatorade to rehydrate.

Thank you for your attention. This completes our tour. I invite you to rejoin us for next fall’s College Experience collection, which will exhibit Rose’s continual search for identity and learning.

Word count: 649

• I’ve crafted an essay introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

This essay uses a narrative structure to recount how a student overcame a challenge, specifically a sports injury. Since this topic is often overused, the essay requires vivid description, a memorable introduction and conclusion , and interesting insight.

The weak rough draft contains an interesting narrative, insight, and vivid imagery, but it has an overly formal tone that distracts the reader from the story. The student’s use of elaborate vocabulary in every sentence makes the essay sound inauthentic and stilted.

The final essay uses a more natural, conversational tone and chooses words that are vivid and specific without being pretentious. This allows the reader to focus on the narrative and appreciate the student’s unique insight.

One fateful evening some months ago, a defensive linebacker mauled me, his 212 pounds indisputably alighting upon my ankle. Ergo, an abhorrent cracking of calcified tissue. At first light the next day, I awoke cognizant of a new paradigm—one sans football—promulgated by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

It’s been an exceedingly taxing semester not being able to engage in football, but I am nonetheless excelling in school. That twist of fate never would have come to pass if I hadn’t broken my ankle. I still limp down the halls at school, but I’m feeling less maudlin these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, emboldened by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

Five months ago, right after my ill-fated injury, my friends’ demeanor became icy and remote, although I couldn’t fathom why. My teachers, in contrast, beckoned me close and invited me on a new learning journey. But despite their indubitably kind advances, even they recoiled when I drew near.

A few weeks later, I started to change my attitude vis-à-vis my newfound situation and determined to put my energy toward productive ends (i.e., homework). I wasn’t enamored with school. I never had been. Nevertheless, I didn’t abhor it either. I just preferred football.

My true turn of fate came when I started studying more and participating in class. I started to enjoy history class, and I grew interested in reading more. I discovered a volume of poems written by a fellow adventurer on the road of life, and I loved it. I ravenously devoured everything in the writer’s oeuvre .

As the weeks flitted past, I found myself spending my time with a group of people who were quite different from me. They participated in theater and played instruments in marching band. They raised their hands in class when the teacher posed a question. Because of their auspicious influence, I started raising my hand too. I am no longer vapid, and I now have something to say.

I am certain that your school would benefit from my miraculous academic transformation, and I entreat you to consider my application to your fine institution. Accepting me to your university would be an unequivocally righteous decision.

Word count: 408

• I’ve chosen a college essay topic that’s meaningful to me.
• I’ve respected the essay word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

As I step out of bed, the pain shoots through my foot and up my leg like it has every morning since “the game.” That night, a defensive linebacker tackled me, his 212 pounds landing decidedly on my ankle. I heard the sound before I felt it. The next morning, I awoke to a new reality—one without football—announced by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

My broken ankle broke my spirit.

My friends steered clear of me as I hobbled down the halls at school. My teachers tried to find the delicate balance between giving me space and offering me help. I was as unsure how to deal with myself as they were.

In time, I figured out how to redirect some of my frustration, anger, and pent-up energy toward my studies. I had never not liked school, but I had never really liked it either. In my mind, football practice was my real-life classroom, where I could learn all I ever needed to know.

Then there was that day in Mrs. Brady’s history class. We sang a ridiculous-sounding mnemonic song to memorize all the Chinese dynasties from Shang to Qing. I mumbled the words at first, but I got caught up in the middle of the laughter and began singing along. Starting that day, I began browsing YouTube videos about history, curious to learn more. I had started learning something new, and, to my surprise, I liked it.

With my afternoons free from burpees and scrimmages, I dared to crack open a few more of my books to see what was in them. That’s when my English poetry book, Paint Me Like I Am , caught my attention. It was full of poems written by students my age from WritersCorps. I couldn’t get enough.

I wasn’t the only one who was taken with the poems. Previously, I’d only been vaguely aware of Christina as one of the weird kids I avoided. Crammed in the margins of her high-top Chuck Taylors were scribbled lines of her own poetry and infinite doodles. Beyond her punk rock persona was a sensitive artist, puppy-lover, and environmental activist that a wide receiver like me would have never noticed before.

With Christina, I started making friends with people who once would have been invisible to me: drama geeks, teachers’ pets, band nerds. Most were college bound but not to play a sport. They were smart and talented, and they cared about people and politics and all sorts of issues that I hadn’t considered before. Strangely, they also seemed to care about me.

I still limp down the halls at school, but I don’t seem to mind as much these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, excited by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

My broken ankle broke my spirit. Then, it broke my ignorance.

Word count: 512

This essay uses a narrative structure to show how a pet positively influenced the student’s values and character.

In the weak draft, the student doesn’t focus on himself, instead delving into too much detail about his dog’s positive traits and his grandma’s illness. The essay’s structure is meandering, with tangents and details that don’t communicate any specific insight.

In the improved version, the student keeps the focus on himself, not his pet. He chooses the most relevant stories to demonstrate specific qualities, and the structure more clearly builds up to an insightful conclusion.

Man’s Best Friend

I desperately wanted a cat. I begged my parents for one, but once again, my sisters overruled me, so we drove up the Thompson Valley Canyon from Loveland to Estes Park to meet our newest family member. My sisters had already hatched their master plan, complete with a Finding Nemo blanket to entice the pups. The blanket was a hit with all of them, except for one—the one who walked over and sat in my lap. That was the day that Francisco became a Villanova.

Maybe I should say he was mine because I got stuck with all the chores. As expected, my dog-loving sisters were nowhere to be found! My mom was “extra” with all the doggy gear. Cisco even had to wear these silly little puppy shoes outside so that when he came back in, he wouldn’t get the carpets dirty. If it was raining, my mother insisted I dress Cisco in a ridiculous yellow raincoat, but, in my opinion, it was an unnecessary source of humiliation for poor Cisco. It didn’t take long for Cisco to decide that his outerwear could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I took off one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his ensemble more when we had to walk through snowdrifts to get his job done.

When my abuela was dying from cancer, we went in the middle of the night to see her before she passed. I was sad and scared. But, my dad let me take Cisco in the car, so Cisco cuddled with me and made me feel much better. It’s like he could read my mind. Once we arrived at the hospital, the fluorescent lighting made the entire scene seem unreal, as if I was watching the scene unfold through someone else’s eyes. My grandma lay calmly on her bed, smiling at us even through her last moments of pain. I disliked seeing the tubes and machines hooked up to her. It was unnatural to see her like this一it was so unlike the way I usually saw her beautiful in her flowery dress, whistling a Billie Holiday tune and baking snickerdoodle cookies in the kitchen. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained at the foot of the bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that seemed more effective at communicating comfort and compassion than the rest of us who attempted to offer up words of comfort that just seemed hollow and insincere. It was then that I truly appreciated Cisco’s empathy for others.

As I accompanied my dad to pick up our dry cleaner’s from Ms. Chapman, a family friend asked, “How’s Cisco?” before even asking about my sisters or me. Cisco is the Villanova family mascot, a Goldendoodle better recognized by strangers throughout Loveland than the individual members of my family.

On our summer trip to Boyd Lake State Park, we stayed at the Cottonwood campground for a breathtaking view of the lake. Cisco was allowed to come, but we had to keep him on a leash at all times. After a satisfying meal of fish, our entire family walked along the beach. Cisco and I led the way while my mom and sisters shuffled behind. Cisco always stopped and refused to move, looking back to make sure the others were still following. Once satisfied that everyone was together, he would turn back around and continue prancing with his golden boy curly locks waving in the chilly wind.

On the beach, Cisco “accidentally” got let off his leash and went running maniacally around the sand, unfettered and free. His pure joy as he raced through the sand made me forget about my AP Chem exam or my student council responsibilities. He brings a smile not only to my family members but everyone around him.

Cisco won’t live forever, but without words, he has impressed upon me life lessons of responsibility, compassion, loyalty, and joy. I can’t imagine life without him.

Word count: 701

I quickly figured out that as “the chosen one,” I had been enlisted by Cisco to oversee all aspects of his “business.” I learned to put on Cisco’s doggie shoes to keep the carpet clean before taking him out一no matter the weather. Soon after, Cisco decided that his shoes could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I removed one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his footwear more after I’d gear him up and we’d tread through the snow for his daily walks.

One morning, it was 7:15 a.m., and Alejandro was late again to pick me up. “Cisco, you don’t think he overslept again, do you?” Cisco barked, as if saying, “Of course he did!” A text message would never do, so I called his dad, even if it was going to get him in trouble. There was no use in both of us getting another tardy during our first-period class, especially since I was ready on time after taking Cisco for his morning outing. Alejandro was mad at me but not too much. He knew I had helped him out, even if he had to endure his dad’s lecture on punctuality.

Another early morning, I heard my sister yell, “Mom! Where are my good ballet flats? I can’t find them anywhere!” I hesitated and then confessed, “I moved them.” She shrieked at me in disbelief, but I continued, “I put them in your closet, so Cisco wouldn’t chew them up.” More disbelief. However, this time, there was silence instead of shrieking.

Last spring, Cisco and I were fast asleep when the phone rang at midnight. Abuela would not make it through the night after a long year of chemo, but she was in Pueblo, almost three hours away. Sitting next to me for that long car ride on I-25 in pitch-black darkness, Cisco knew exactly what I needed and snuggled right next to me as I petted his coat in a rhythm while tears streamed down my face. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained sitting at the foot of the hospital bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that communicated more comfort than our hollow words. Since then, whenever I sense someone is upset, I sit in silence with them or listen to their words, just like Cisco did.

The other day, one of my friends told me, “You’re a strange one, Josue. You’re not like everybody else but in a good way.” I didn’t know what he meant at first. “You know, you’re super responsible and grown-up. You look out for us instead of yourself. Nobody else does that.” I was a bit surprised because I wasn’t trying to do anything different. I was just being me. But then I realized who had taught me: a fluffy little puppy who I had wished was a cat! I didn’t choose Cisco, but he certainly chose me and, unexpectedly, became my teacher, mentor, and friend.

Word count: 617

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

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College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Home — Application Essay — Business School — My Interest in Sports Management Program

My Interest in Sports Management Program

• University: New York University

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Words: 394 |

Published: Jul 18, 2018

Words: 394 | Pages: 1 | 2 min read

Sweat dripped off my face, and my body trembled in excitement. Playing along with some of the top high school players in the nation, I yearned to belong. However, as I sat on the flight back to Taiwan after camp, I realized that my mind and heart were in the right place but life is cruel. I did not win the genetic lottery. I had flown over the Pacific to fulfill a dream, but instead I was left wondering if this might be the end of my passion for basketball.

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As a 5’7 Asian with a little bounce in my feet, I have always had a profound love for sports. But last summer at a basketball camp in the U.S. was the rude awakening experience that forced me to realize that I would probably never become the professional athlete I had hoped to be. I had no choice but to embark on another path in life. Fortunately, when I learned of the Sports Management program at NYU, I was ecstatic because I discovered another path into the world I love.

By garnering knowledge about the sports and entertainment industry, I can continue to pursue the passion that I have long possessed and immerse myself in one of the most exciting industries. Through the Sports Management program at Tisch Institute, I foresee unbelievable experiences as I learn and develop in one of the greatest sports meccas, NYC. Through internships at multiple organizations, such as Madison Square Garden and lecture series with professionals in the field, I can explore every opportunity and lay down the foundation I need to thrive in the world of professional sports.

This past summer, working next to my dad, who runs a large shoe manufacturer for Adidas and Under Armor, strengthened my interest in the Sports Management program at NYU. If I could develop in interest in a business that is so remotely related to my passion, I could only imagine the zest and fervor that I will have for actually being in the world of sports.

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For a year, I believed that my dream was eviscerated. Luckily, when one door closed, NYU opened another door for me. Becoming a professional athlete is no longer viable, but the exciting world of sports awaits me, and NYU is my gateway to the world of my dreams.

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