• Love & Relationships

The Science Behind Happy Relationships

W hen it comes to relationships , most of us are winging it. We’re exhilarated by the early stages of love , but as we move onto the general grind of everyday life, personal baggage starts to creep in and we can find ourselves floundering in the face of hurt feelings, emotional withdrawal, escalating conflict, insufficient coping techniques and just plain boredom. There’s no denying it: making and keeping happy and healthy relationships is hard.

But a growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the habits of the healthiest, happiest couples — and how to make any struggling relationship better. As we’ve learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to fundamental lessons that are simultaneously simple, obvious and difficult to master: empathy, positivity and a strong emotional connection drive the happiest and healthiest relationships.

Maintaining a strong emotional connection

“The most important thing we’ve learned, the thing that totally stands out in all of the developmental psychology, social psychology and our lab’s work in the last 35 years is that the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love again and again, is emotional responsiveness,” says Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa and the author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love .

That responsiveness, in a nutshell, is all about sending a cue and having the other person respond to it. “The $99 million question in love is, ‘Are you there for me?’” says Johnson. “It’s not just, ‘Are you my friend and will you help me with the chores?’ It’s about emotional synchronicity and being tuned in.”

“Every couple has differences,” continues Johnson. “What makes couples unhappy is when they have an emotional disconnection and they can’t get a feeling of secure base or safe haven with this person.” She notes that criticism and rejection — often met with defensiveness and withdrawal — are exceedingly distressing, and something that our brain interprets as a danger cue.

To foster emotional responsiveness between partners, Johnson pioneered Emotionally Focused Therapy , in which couples learn to bond through having conversations that express needs and avoid criticism. “Couples have to learn how to talk about feelings in ways that brings the other person closer,” says Johnson.

Keeping things positive

According to Carrie Cole, director of research for the Gottman Institute , an organization dedicated to the research of marriage, emotional disengagement can easily happen in any relationship when couples are not doing things that create positivity. “When that happens, people feel like they’re just moving further and further apart until they don’t even know each other anymore,” says Cole. That focus on positivity is why the Gottman Institute has embraced the motto “small things often.” The Gottman Lab has been studying relationship satisfaction since the 1970s, and that research drives the Institute’s psychologists to encourage couples to engage in small, routine points of contact that demonstrate appreciation.

One easy place to start is to find ways to compliment your partner every day, says Cole — whether it’s expressing your appreciation for something they’ve done or telling them, specifically, what you love about them. This exercise can accomplish two beneficial things: First, it validates your partner and helps them feel good about themselves. And second, it helps to remind you why you chose that person in the first place.

Listen to the brain, not just your heart

When it comes to the brain and love, biological anthropologist and Kinsey Institute senior fellow Helen Fisher has found — after putting people into a brain scanner — that there are three essential neuro-chemical components found in people who report high relationship satisfaction: practicing empathy, controlling one’s feelings and stress and maintaining positive views about your partner.

In happy relationships, partners try to empathize with each other and understand each other’s perspectives instead of constantly trying to be right. Controlling your stress and emotions boils down to a simple concept: “Keep your mouth shut and don’t act out,” says Fisher. If you can’t help yourself from getting mad, take a break by heading out to the gym, reading a book, playing with the dog or calling a friend — anything to get off a destructive path. Keeping positive views of your partner, which Fisher calls “positive illusions,” are all about reducing the amount of time you spend dwelling on negative aspects of your relationship. “No partner is perfect, and the brain is well built to remember the nasty things that were said,” says Fisher. “But if you can overlook those things and just focus on what’s important, it’s good for the body, good for the mind and good for the relationship.”

Happier relationships, happier life

Ultimately, the quality of a person’s relationships dictates the quality of their life. “Good relationships aren’t just happier and nicer,” says Johnson. “When we know how to heal [relationships] and keep them strong, they make us resilient. All these clichés about how love makes us stronger aren’t just clichés; it’s physiology. Connection with people who love and value us is our only safety net in life.”

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Essays About Relationships: Top 5 Examples Plus 8 Prompts

With rich essays about relationships plus prompts, this writing guide could help you contemplate relationships, including your own.

Healthy relationships come with the rewards of intimacy, love, and the support we need. Learning to preserve healthy relationships and throw out harmful ones is a critical skill to lead a successful life. That is exactly why Warren Buffet , one of the most successful investors, said the most important decision you will make is your choice of a significant partner. 

There are several types of relationships your essay could focus on in your next piece of writing. Take a leap and tackle intimate individual-level relationships or community or even global-level relationships. You might also be interested in our list of books to read after a breakup .

5 Essay Examples

1. relationship weight gain is real — and can be a sign of happiness by angela haupt, 2. what does it mean to be ‘ready’ for a relationship by julie beck, 3. why adult children cut ties with their parents by sharon martin, 4. a relationship under extreme duress: u.s.-china relations at a crossroads by michael d. swaine, 5. how to build strong business relationships — remotely by jeanne m. brett and tyree mitchell, 1. strengthening communication in relationships, 2. helping children build healthy friendships, 3. how social media affects our relationships , 4. establishing relationships with influencers, 5. importance of police-community relationships, 6. dealing with challenging work relationships, 7. promoting cross-cultural relationships among schools, 8. why do long-term relationships fail.

“…[A]mong those who had been married for more than four years, happy couples were twice as likely to put on weight than couples who reported not being as content with their relationship.”

Gaining pounds when you’re in a relationship is real. This essay backs it up with research and even seeks to answer who puts on the most pounds in the relationship. For those hoping to transform their lifestyle, the essay offers practical tips couples can do together to lose pounds while protecting the relationship and preserving the joy that brought them together. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

“Readiness, then, is not a result of achieving certain life milestones, or perfect mental health. And checking off items on a checklist doesn’t guarantee a relationship when the checklist is complete.”

People have a variety of reasons for not being ready to commit to a relationship. They may be more committed to developing their careers or simply enjoy the solitude of singlehood. But this essay debunks the concept of readiness for building relationships. Through interviews, one finds that relationships can happen when you least expect them. You might also be interested in these essays about reflection .

“Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected to be unwavering and unconditional. But this isn’t always the case—some adults cut ties with or distance themselves from their parents or other family members.”

No matter how painful it is, some adults decide to cut off family members to heal from a toxic or abusive childhood relationship or protect themselves if the abuse or toxicity continues. In exploring the primary causes of estrangement, the well-researched essay shows that estrangement may run deep with years of conflict and many attempts to recover the relationship, rather than merely being the whim of selfish adults.

“…Beijing and Washington are transitioning from a sometimes contentious yet mutually beneficial relationship to an increasingly antagonistic, mutually destructive set of interactions.”

The essay charts the 40-year relationship between China and the US and points out how both parties have mutually benefited from the bilateral relations. This starkly contrasts Washington’s accusation that the relationship has been a zero-sum game, one of the numerous oft-heard allegations in the Washington community. But with the looming increase in tension, competition, and potentially a devastating Cold War between the two, parties must work to find a middle ground.

“Although many managers have adapted to virtual meetings to replace face-to-face ones as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, developing new business relationships online presents a particular set of challenges.”

Authors interview 82 managers pre-pandemic and reconnect with some during the health crisis to find out how they have been building relationships with business partners through virtual meetings. Most admit the challenge of establishing trust and assessing partners’ competency, especially when billion-dollar deals are at stake. The authors offer four key pieces of advice to overcome these difficulties. You might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

8 Writing Prompts On Essays About Relationships

Essays About Relationships: Strengthening communication in relationships

We all know that communication is what strengthens relationships. But this is easier said than done when both sides want to talk and not listen. For this prompt, discuss the importance of open communication in relationships. Then, offer tips on how to improve communication in relationships and deal with communication gaps. One scenario you can look into is discussing problems in a relationship without getting into a heated debate.

In this essay, you can help parents become effective coaches for their children to make and keep friends. Warn them against being too authoritative in directing their children and instead allow the kids to be part of the ongoing conversation. Give your readers tips on how to build friendships such as promoting kindness, sharing, and understanding from a young age. You may also enjoy these essays about friendships .

When writing this essay, list the positive and negative effects of social media on relationships. A positive outcome of having social media is 24/7 access to our loved ones. One negative effect includes decreased time for more meaningful physical bonding. So, provide tips on how people in relationships can start putting down their mobile phones and talk heart-to-heart again. 

Influencer marketing has become one of the most popular and effective ways to spread your brand message on social media. First, explore why consumers trust influencers as credible product or service review sources. Then, try to answer some of the burning questions your readers may have, such as whether influencer marketing works for big and small businesses and how to choose the perfect influencer to endorse your brand.

In a working police-community relationship, police officials and community members work together to fight crime through information-sharing and other measures. Discuss this interesting topic for an exciting essay.

First, look into the level of working relationship between the police and your community through existing enforcement programs. Then, with the data gathered, analyze how they cooperate to improve your community. You can also build on the United States Department of Justice’s recommendations to lay down the best practices for strengthening police-community relationships. 

Essays About Relationships: Dealing with challenging work relationships

Amid competition, a workplace must still be conducive to cooperative relationships among employees to work on shared goals. Create an essay that enumerates the negative effects of work relationships on employee productivity and an office’s overall performance. Then cite tips on what managers and employees can do to maintain a professional and diplomatic atmosphere in the workplace. You can include points from the University of Queensland recommendations, including maintaining respect.

Students in a foreign country tend to feel distant from school life and society. Schools have a critical role in helping them feel at home and safe enough to share their ideas confidently. Set out the other benefits school environments can reap from fostering robust cross-cultural relationships and cite best practices. One example of a best practice is the buddy system, where international students are linked to local students, who could help expand their networks in the facility and even show them around the area to reveal its attributes.

When couples make it through the seven-year itch or the average time relationships last, everything down the road is said to be more manageable. However, some couples break up even after decades of being together. Explore the primary causes behind the failure of long-term relationships and consider the first signs that couples are growing distant from each other.

Look into today’s social sentiments and determine whether long-term relationships are declining. If they are, contemplate whether this should be a cause for concern or merely an acceptable change in culture. For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers and our essay writing tips .

essay on happy couple

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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Guest Essay

The Key to a Happy, Stable Marriage

A close-up of the clasped hands of a man and a woman.

By Rhaina Cohen

Ms. Cohen is the author of “The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendship at the Center.”

When Bert Ellison experienced intense mood swings, the first person he turned to was usually not his wife but Dan Driscoll, his close friend of more than two decades. During the first year of his Ph.D. program, Mr. Ellison was an emotional yo-yo, one day telling his wife that he wanted to quit, the next that all was well. Mr. Driscoll suggested that Mr. Ellison take the concerns to him first, easing the stress on their marriage.

“I didn’t make a vow to Dan on my wedding day,” Mr. Ellison told me, “but I’m able to uphold my vows, I think, more fully because I can process some stuff with my best friend before I bring a more polished version to my wife.”

Research has affirmed Mr. Ellison and Mr. Driscoll’s approach. A study measuring the stress hormone cortisol in married people found that spouses who felt satisfied with the social support they had outside marriage showed less physiological stress from day-to-day marital conflicts than those who weren’t as satisfied. Just as in finance, in our social life, it’s wise to diversify our portfolio .

I’ve reaped these rewards from my own living situation: I share a home with my husband, two close friends and their two children. Our friends’ perspectives, passions and social communities have made my and my husband’s lives fuller and more dynamic. Sharing a space with friends has also created opportunities for me to discover different dimensions of my husband. One afternoon, I noticed him happily engrossed on the living room floor with our housemates’ toddler, who was repeatedly uncapping and recapping markers. My husband was fascinated, he said, by how the toddler had developed, and in that moment, I admired his exquisite patience and attentiveness.

Through our setup, I’ve arrived at a clearer sense of what an ideal marriage looks like to me: not one in which my husband and I are cocooned, gazing into each other’s eyes — as lovers are so often depicted — but looking outward, anchored in a circle of people we love.

This is something the ancient Romans would have understood. Some classicists argue that friendship played the central role in ancient Roman society that marriages do today. A Roman might refer to a friend in terms that people now use only for a spouse, such as “half of my soul” or “the greater part of my soul.” In the Byzantine Empire, pairs of male friends (who, in some cases, may have also been lovers) would enter Christian churches to be ritually turned into brothers, united for life. Some were buried together.

But as mores shifted, a spouse took on the role once played by a friend. During the Victorian era, an increased emphasis on romantic love encouraged young people to expect more from marriage, not just pragmatic benefits but also deep connection and companionship.

Since then, expectations of marriage have continued to balloon. Now movies, songs and books tell us that a spouse should be not just your greatest love but your “ everything ,” as the Michael Bublé song goes — your confidant, soul mate and best friend.

It’s only in recent years that we’ve come to understand just how harmful this kind of approach can be. Sociologists have found that married people have weaker relationships with neighbors, relatives and friends than single people do. We end up undermining romantic relationships by expecting too much and weakening friendships by expecting too little.

But there’s a way to fix this. Start by trying a simple drawing exercise: Get a piece of paper, write your name in the middle and draw circles that represent the most important people in your life. Closer relationships — like a dear friend or romantic partner — should sit closer to your name, and relationships that take up more space in your life should have a bigger circle. If you’re left with one enormous circle for a romantic partner and small bubbles in the distance, it’s a sign that the romantic relationship may be taking on too much significance.

Consider establishing a routine to ensure you see your friends regularly. A close friend and I have a standing date every other week to hang out at her house after her baby goes to sleep. A pair of best friends I know dedicate Friday mornings to coffee and conversation together, a ritual they now consider sacred.

Friendships enrich romantic relationships. But of course, they’re also an end in themselves, providing deep meaning and connection — far deeper than most of us have been told is possible. By opening up space to prioritize our friends, both types of relationships become more satisfying.

So if you have plans with a romantic partner this Valentine’s Day, savor the time together. Then make your next date night with a friend.

Rhaina Cohen ( @rhainacohen ) is a producer and editor for NPR’s “Embedded” podcast and the author of “The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life With Friendship at the Center.”

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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17 Well-Kept Secrets to Happy Relationships

Rachael Pace

Rachael Pace inspires with motivational articles on loving partnerships. She encourages making room for love and facing challenges together.

Couple traveling in boat

In This Article

Whether you are in a relationship or not, you might wonder, are there happy couples out there? The answer is yes, and many are willing to share their secrets about what makes their partnerships work .

Keep reading for plenty of the secrets to happy relationships, which can offer you traits to look for when you are seeking long-term companionship.

What are happy couples?

Happy couples are those who find joy, love, and contentment in each other’s company. 

They share their lives, support each other through ups and downs, and create a harmonious partnership that brings fulfillment and laughter to their relationship. It’s about feeling cherished and valued and finding happiness in the simple moments spent together.

Characteristics of happy couples

There are a few characteristics of happy couples that you may want to consider. These things must be present for a couple to be happy. You should take some time and determine they are there in yours. 

If you are not in a relationship, these are the traits that you need to look for once you find a partner. 

This is one of the multiple secrets to happy relationships that you can keep drawing from when you are working to improve your relationship .

  • Communication: Satisfied couples will talk to each other effectively much of the time.
  • Commitment: Two people in a happy relationship will both be committed to the relationship.
  • Acceptance: A couple will accept each other as they are.
  • Passion: They will have a great deal of passion for one another .
  • Love: They will always love each other.

17 secrets of happy couples 

Some of the most common and possessively-kept happy couple secrets are listed here. Keep reading!

1. Be honest with each other

A crucial secret to long-lasting relationships is that you have to be honest with one another. You can’t lie to your mate and expect a relationship to have longevity. Being open with each other is basically how to be in a happy relationship.

When you lie to each other, this can set a destructive precedent . Moreover, if you fib too much, it might be difficult to keep up with your lies.

2. Make an effort

Wondering “How to make my partner happy?” Push yourself for them.

One of the many keys to a happy relationship is trying. This means you can’t be lazy. You should expend a reasonable amount of time and energy into your partnership with your mate, which can ensure that you are able to operate in harmony.

3. Be affectionate

Even when you tell your mate how you feel about them, it is a good idea to show them as well. A well-known secret to long-lasting relationships of best couples is to be affectionate with your partner.  

Give them a hug when you go to work or kiss them when they wake up.

4. Compliment your mate

Something else that goes along with this is complimenting your partner . This should let them know that you still care for them and can also prevent either of you from thinking there are issues in the relationship . 

Besides that, nearly everyone likes being complimented every now and then. This is one of many useful secrets to happy relationships that you should remember.

5. Work through your problems

All relationships will encounter problems at times , but you need to be able to work through them. This is one of the most vital secrets of a happy couple in a relationship. You should do your best always to talk out problems and determine a solution together. 

There are solutions for most of a couple’s issues, even if they are major, like money or trust.

6. Hang out together

An additional secret of a healthy relationship is that a couple will hang out together. They won’t just go out all the time. Sometimes, they will simply hang out in their living room or eat dinner in their sweats. 

A happy couple will probably tell you that every moment they spend with each other is quality time . Think about if this is the case in your relationship.

7. Go to therapy together

Even happy couples in love can go to couples’ therapy together. In fact, when they agree to seek counseling, it may be effective at strengthening their bond with one another . 

Moreover, if there are minor issues in their bond, they can work on them in therapy, where they can also learn how to communicate more effectively .

8. Trust your partner

A necessary secret of a good relationship is that you need to trust your partner . 

This means you have to believe what they say at face value without them having to prove their point of view or what they are saying to you. Consider if they do this for you as well.

9. Be friends and lovers

If you are in a relationship with someone that was your friend before you dated, you may understand how important it is to be friends with your mate.

This can lead to a long-term happy relationship since you can see them as both a friend and a lover. It may also mean you know a lot about them and would like to learn more. 

Another of the many helpful secrets to a happy relationship that goes along with this is that if someone is your friend, they should always be your friend. You will be able to grow that bond along with the romantic bond you have for one another.

10. Do your own thing

Something that is on the list of major secrets of a healthy relationship is that both people in the partnership are able to do their own thing. 

They don’t have to spend every minute together. You might want to go out with your friends at times, and your partner may need some alone time to finish their work or to just think. Consider the last time you gave your mate space and when they reciprocated.

11. Share the load

Another of many secrets to happy relationships is that they share the load. This means they split up the chores and responsibilities. 

This may indicate they have equal footing when it comes to running the household and taking care of their kids . If you are doing more work in the household than your partner, you should talk to them about it and decide together what needs to change.

12. Set relationship goals

As time passes in a relationship, it can be beneficial to set goals for what you want out of the relationship. Remember that they need to be reasonable and that both of you should agree to these goals. 

This can be anything from moving in together , buying a house, or deciding to get married.

13. Make decisions together

Besides just setting goals together , you should do your best to make all of your decisions together . In other words, think about your partner before you make choices that can impact them. Talk to them about what they want to do or ask them for their opinion on an issue.

14. Pick your battles

There may be times when you want to yell at your mate, but you should learn how to pick your battles. In some cases, it just isn’t important to fuss about something when it doesn’t make that much of a difference. 

For example, if your mate forgot to take the trash out for the 2nd time in one week, but they had a busy week, it may not be helpful to remind them of this. 

Instead, ask them nicely to take it out when they aren’t busy, or simply do it yourself, so there’s no disagreement.

15. Take pleasure in the little things

When you are pondering the secrets to happy relationships, you should think about the fact that they will take pleasure in the little things they enjoy in their relationship . This may be the way their mate looks at them or that they bring them small presents. 

Perhaps you like the way your partner looks in the morning after they wake up, and thinking about it makes your day. Regardless, the small details of a relationship may lead to your happiest moments , so keep this in mind.

16. Shared goals

Having shared goals means that happy couples work together on common aspirations and dreams. It’s like being on the same team with the same game plan. You can find this trait in a majority of happy and healthy relationships.

Whether it’s saving for a dream vacation, raising a family, or building a life together, these shared objectives create a sense of unity and purpose in the relationship. 

17. Emotional support

One of the many well-kept secrets of happy couples relationships is being there for each other emotionally.

It is like a safety net for happy couples. It means being there for each other during both good and tough times. It’s about offering a listening ear, a comforting hug, or a word of encouragement when needed. 

In a world full of stress and uncertainties, knowing you have someone who has your back provides a sense of security. 

Susan L. Adler, LCSW, offers three tools that can help make relationships happier and more lasting. Watch the insightful video:

What do happy couples do differently?

There are a few things that romantic, happy couples do differently. Some of the things that have been found to make a difference are:

1. They regularly communicate with each other

This can be as simple as telling each other about your day or sharing a hug and a kiss before you leave for work in the morning. There’s nothing much of an effort in these secrets to happy relationships.

Having regular and meaningful conversations can help to strengthen the bond between you and your partner, ensuring that you are both on the same page and feeling supported.

2. They support each other in their goals

Shared or supported goals go a long way among the secrets to happy relationships.

Couples who are happy understand that they each have their own dreams and aspirations in life, and they support one another in the pursuit of these goals. 

Instead of criticizing or discouraging each other from pursuing their dreams, they offer support and encouragement whenever needed.

3. They have trust and respect in their relationship

Trust is an essential ingredient of a healthy relationship, and it can only be built over time. By showing their partner that they have their back and will support them no matter what, happy couples can build trust and strengthen their relationship . 

4. They have fun together

Relationship happiness is not just about being in a relationship; it’s about being content with your partner and enjoying your quality time in the relationship . The happier you are with your relationship, the more fun you’ll have as a couple!

What 5 things make a relationship great?

A great and worthy relationship thrives on

  • Trust : Like the solid ground beneath your feet.
  • Communication : Open, honest, and always listening.
  • Mutual respect : Treating each other with kindness and appreciation.
  • Quality time : Cherishing moments together, creating memories.
  • Shared goals : Dreaming and working together for a brighter future.

Building a happy and lasting relationship is a journey filled with questions. Let’s explore some common queries about the secrets to a joyful partnership.

How can I improve communication with my partner?

Improving communication is like building a sturdy bridge between two people. It involves active listening, expressing feelings honestly, and being open to understanding your partner’s perspective. When you communicate effectively, it can lead to a deeper connection and smoother conflict resolution.

What do the happiest couples have in common?

Happy couples often share a few key traits, like trust, open communication, mutual respect, and the ability to find joy in each other’s company. They also embrace individuality and create a safe space for each other to grow and be themselves.

How can I rekindle the spark in my relationship?

Think of rekindling the spark as adding fuel to a fire. It involves rediscovering what you love about each other, planning exciting adventures together, and nurturing physical and emotional intimacy. Small gestures of love and appreciation can also help reignite the passion.

What are some secrets of love?

Love’s secrets are like a recipe for a delicious dish. They include kindness, patience, forgiveness, and a willingness to make each other a priority. It’s about showing love through actions and words and understanding that love is a continuous effort, not just a feeling.

What secrets do to a relationship?

Secrets can be like poison to a relationship. They erode trust, create distance, and harm the open communication needed for a healthy partnership. It’s important to build a relationship based on honesty and transparency to maintain a strong connection.

The secrets are spilled now

When it comes to the secrets to happy relationships, there are many poorly kept ones for you to consider. You can think about these secrets in terms of your own relationship, but this by itself won’t tell you if you will be happy or if your relationship will be long-lasting .

At the same time, you can use some of the advice listed above to lend a hand in strengthening the bond between you and your partner. If you don’t know where to start, you can consider couples therapy. 

This could help you learn how to work out issues between you and ensure that both of you are putting in the work it takes to keep a relationship strong.

If you want to be part of a healthy relationship, there is no reason that you can’t meet this goal. Keep an open mind, be honest, and be fair with your mate. 

Then, you can consider implementing some of the tips listed above. This may help you stay happy and in love with your partner.

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Rachael Pace is a noted relationship writer associated with Marriage.com. She provides inspiration, support, and empowerment in the form of motivational articles and essays. Rachael enjoys studying the evolution of loving partnerships Read more and is passionate about writing on them. She believes that everyone should make room for love in their lives and encourages couples to work on overcoming their challenges together. Read less

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10 habits of happy couples, what does it take to be happy in a relationship.

Posted November 14, 2009 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

Warren Goldswain/Shutterstock

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve your marriage , here are the 10 habits of happy couples.

1. Go to bed at the same time. Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skin touches, it still causes each of them to tingle and—unless one or both are completely exhausted—to feel sexually excited.

2. Cultivate common interests. After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand-in-hand or side-by-side. Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand-in-hand or side-by-side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode. If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong. If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “have a good day” every morning. This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines, and other annoyances.

8. Say “goodnight” every night, regardless of how you feel. This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day. Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner. Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact—hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of the neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new behavior to become a habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and voila , it will become a habit … and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask for their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.

If there was one key to happiness in love and life and possibly even success, it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind: "just listen," and be more interested than interesting, more fascinated than fascinating and more adoring than adorable.

Follow me on Twitter or visit my website.

Mark Goulston M.D., F.A.P.A.

Mark Goulston, M.D. , the author of the book Just Listen, is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at UCLA's Neuropsychiatric Institute.

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The Type Of Arguments That Reveal If A Couple Is Really Unhappy Or Not

How to decide which fights are worth having.

essay on happy couple

Every couple argues, but  happy couples focus on solving issues that can be solved, research finds.

The key is being able to choose which issues need to be tackled and which can safely be left on the back burner.

Issues like household chores and how to spend leisure time are more solvable — so happy couples tend to talk about them.

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Difficult or intractable issues, like physical intimacy and health problems, tend to be avoided by happy couples.

These issues can lead to embarrassment and conflict, which is why happy couples avoid them.

Dr Amy Rauer, the study’s first author, said:

“Happy couples tend to take a solution-oriented approach to conflict, and this is clear even in the topics that they choose to discuss.”

The study included two age groups of happy couples: 57 couples were in their 30s and 64 couples were in their 70s.

All were asked to rank their most to least serious relationship issues.

The most serious issues were money, leisure time activities, intimacy, household and communication.

Older couples added health to this list of serious issues.

The least serious issues were jealousy, religion and family.

Observing the couples revealed that they focused on issues that could be resolved, such as how to spend leisure time and manage household chores.

Dr Rauer said:

“Rebalancing chores may not be easy, but it lends itself to more concrete solutions than other issues. One spouse could do more of certain chores to balance the scales. Focusing on the perpetual, more-difficult-to-solve problems may undermine partners’ confidence in the relationship.”

More difficult issues, like health problems and physical intimacy, tended to be avoided.

Issues like these are likely to be embarrassing and lead to more conflict.

“Since these issues tend to be more difficult to resolve, they are more likely to lead to less marital happiness or the dissolution of the relationship, especially if couples have not banked up any previous successes solving other marital issues.”

The results also showed that couple together for longer tended to argue less, suggesting they knew which fights were worth picking.

“If couples feel that they can work together to resolve their issues, it may give them the confidence to move on to tackling the more difficult issues.”

The study was published in the journal Family Process ( Rauer et al., 2019 ).

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essay on happy couple

Hello, and welcome to PsyBlog. Thanks for dropping by.

This site is all about scientific research into how the mind works.

It’s mostly written by psychologist and author, Dr Jeremy Dean.

I try to dig up fascinating studies that tell us something about what it means to be human.

essay on happy couple

Author: Jeremy Dean

Psychologist, Jeremy Dean, PhD is the founder and author of PsyBlog. He holds a doctorate in psychology from University College London and two other advanced degrees in psychology. He has been writing about scientific research on PsyBlog since 2004. He is also the author of the book "Making Habits, Breaking Habits" (Da Capo, 2013) and several ebooks. View all posts by Jeremy Dean

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The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work: a Discussion

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essay on happy couple

Marriage Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on marriage.

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males. Also, this is thought to be the highest as well as the most important Institution in our society. The marriage essay is a guide to what constitutes a marriage in India. 

Marriage Essay

Whenever we think about marriage, the first thing that comes to our mind is the long-lasting relationship. Also, for everyone, marriage is one of the most important decisions in their life. Because you are choosing to live your whole life with that 1 person. Thus, when people decide to get married, they think of having a lovely family, dedicating their life together, and raising their children together. The circle of humankind is like that only. 

Read 500 Words Essay on Dowry System

As it is seen with other experiences as well, the experience of marriage can be successful or unsuccessful. If truth to be held, there is no secret to a successful marriage. It is all about finding the person and enjoying all the differences and imperfections, thereby making your life smooth. So, a good marriage is something that is supposed to be created by two loving people. Thus, it does not happen from time to time. Researchers believe that married people are less depressed and more happy as compared to unmarried people. 

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Concepts of Marriage

There is no theoretical concept of marriage. Because for everyone these concepts will keep on changing. But there are some basic concepts which are common in every marriage. These concepts are children, communication , problem-solving , and influences. Here, children may be the most considerable issue. Because many think that having a child is a stressful thing. While others do not believe it. But one thing is sure that having children will change the couple’s life. Now there is someone else besides them whose responsibilities and duties are to be done by the parents. 

Another concept in marriage is problem-solving where it is important to realize that you can live on your own every day. Thus, it is important to find solutions to some misunderstandings together. This is one of the essential parts of a marriage. Communication also plays a huge role in marriage. Thus, the couple should act friends, in fact, be,t friends. There should be no secret between the couple and no one should hide anything. So, both persons should do what they feel comfortable. It is not necessary to think that marriage is difficult and thus it makes you feel busy and unhappy all the time. 

Marriage is like a huge painting where you brush your movements and create your own love story. 

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Couple Counseling and Its Principles

First, it is of crucial importance to understand that such notions as couple counseling, marriage counseling, or marital therapy denote practically the same process. The only difference is which theory of psychotherapy is preferred by the psychologist, but such diversity of various terms should not create confusion because they are just different manifestations of the same phenomenon. This is the first point that is worth remembering.

Overall, we can define couple counseling as a field of psychology that deals with married couples, and namely with the problems which are connected with their intimate relationships.

The earliest approaches to psychology, which were predominant at the beginning of the twentieth century, paid more attention to individual therapy rather than to interpersonal relations. The patient-clinician relationships were considered to be the most optimal way to help people with their psychological problems.

Prominent clinicians such as, for instance, Freud or Rogers, thought that while family life did form one’s personality, the strongest forces regulating human conduct were the personal, mostly subjective beliefs that patients had about their families (Guerney, pp. 1127-1135). Freud and Rogers were firmly convinced that the causes of mental disorders were neurotic conflicts or perhaps destructive relations in the family and that therapy would be most beneficial for the patient if he or she were separated from the harmful impact of relatives. Thus, patients were separated from their families, and therapy and treatment concentrated on their personal mental disorders.

The development of family counseling created an entirely new way of understanding and expounding human conduct. Family counselors believed that psychological problems should be researched and resolved within the context of family life. This entirely new contextual approach shifted the responsibility for the problems and the direction of therapy from the inner world of the patient to the family relationships.

Couples counseling is often considered to be independent or, to a certain degree, separate from psychotherapy because the special emphasis is placed on interpersonal relations, whereas in traditional psychotherapy intrapersonal approach is believed to be more efficient. However, this difference is not quite relevant because any psychological problem as well as psychological change may lead to some individual symptoms, for example, behavior, emotions, conflicts, and to some difficulties connected with interpersonal relationships(Johnson, pp.50-54).

This statement can be proved in the following way: for instance, if a person is constantly squabbling with his or her spouse, it will undoubtedly lead to chronic anxiousness, anger, or depression. As a rule, it works both ways: a person who is unable to keep his balance; is almost bound to have some difficulties in his interpersonal relations. Thus, it is quite possible to say that traditional psychotherapy and couple counseling are closely connected, and we have no reason to separate couple counseling from psychotherapy (Guerney, pp. 48-53).

The main task of couple therapy is to identify the cause of the conflict or probably some misunderstanding and decide where a change is needed either in each partner or in the interpersonal relations.

There are many different models of couples relationships, nevertheless we should single out two major ones as: Positive Sentiment Override or PSO and Negative Sentiment Override – NSO. This classification was presented by John Gottman (1994, pp 10-20). Now we should clear out what exactly these notions mean.

The first model (PSO) means that positive feelings and emotions outnumber negative ones. This means that there is some kind of a “positive filter”, which changes the way, a married couple perceives their relationships. Such a couple can be characterized by the so-called” softened startups”, or delicate ways to raise a problem. Another marked characteristic of such couple is the “ acceptance of Influence”, so spouses (in the majority of cases men) can accept the views and opinions of their partners (mostly women); What is also should be mentioned is the so-called “Repair Attempts” or attempts to reconcile with each other by resorting to humor or conceding a point.

Approximately one effort is made for every three minutes. Moreover, partners try to suppress or to a certain degree to deescalate their hot emotion. As a rule, such partners do not have “gridlock” as Gottman defines it in other words inability to make a compromise with each other (Gottman, pp. 20-25).

The second model of couple relationships is NSO in other words, negative sentiment override, which means negative feelings and emotions outweigh positive ones. It is established, a married couple, which shows approximately one positive versus one negative comment, is very likely to divorce. This means that there is some sort of a negative filter that downgrades those few positive events that might be in their life. It makes a married couple look at their married life from a pessimistic point of view (Gottman, pp. 88-94).

In the vast majority of cases, these relationships are characterized by constant criticism. There are some malicious attacks between partners like for instance “What kind of person are you” or “I would never be so low as to do something like that !” Eventually, it results in “stonewalling” (constant mental isolation of partners from each other).

Gottman has developed his own model of family therapy for such couples. The first step to be taken is to “move gridlock to dialogue,” which means learning how to hold conversation more effectively. A partner should listen more closely and pay more attention to what the other partner is saying.

The next stage is to teach “recovery after a fight” Partners should be able to suppress or deescalate their negative emotions and feeling. Gottman believes that it is of utmost importance to teach a married couple such social skills as softening startups, the ability to accept influence (especially it goes for men), and the ability to compromise. Partners should also be able to determine their common goals and the way in which they are going to achieve them. What is also of great importance is the ability of the couple to share responsibility between each other.

David Jansen and Margaret Newman attempted to develop their own model of marriage therapy in their book “Really Relating: How to Build an Enduring Relationship”. The characteristic feature of this model is that it does not require intervention, in other words, couples can cope with their problems on their own (Newman, pp. 66-70). The authors try to teach married couples to resolve possible conflicts. They propose steps that have to be taken in order to clear out misunderstandings that might occur between partners. According to them, it is of crucial importance to put oneself into the position of your partner, which is not as easy as it seems to be at first glance.

The authors say that the true reason that is at the core of every conflict is the inability of partners to make compromise with each other. According to them, the most important ingredient for a successful family life is the sense of being understood by the other partner and the ability to share a meaning with one another. Partners should be the rulers of their emotions and not vice versa, because otherwise their family life will be entirely ruined. According to the authors, such notion as intimacy does not necessarily mean sex. The intimacy implies the ability to share one’s deepest thoughts and feelings. Without it, there will be a sort of estrangement between partners which will consequently result in “stonewalling”, the phenomenon which was described by John Gottman.

It must be taken into account that to a certain degree, counseling is a generic term, and many basic principles of couple counseling can easily go for other forms of counseling. In general, counseling is aimed, at least in theory, at gaining insight into the cause of the conflict and the factors that sparked it off. Couple counseling attempts to give the counselee encouragement, reassurance, support, and new perspectives so that he may look upon himself as but one of many who face or have faced similar troubles that can be resolved under some favorable circumstances.

To a certain extent, almost all types of counseling employ similar methods to reach their aims even though these methods can be entirely different in their fundamental and basic theoretical approaches. From time to time, almost every counselor is asked to give some advice or guidance. Some of them will employ these methods only as a last resort. Others will use these means more frequently because they feel that the counselee really wants, needs, and has the right to more direct and immediate assistance. They are firmly convinced, moreover, that if the counselee does not get such assistance, he will get despondent and will stop the counseling. The harm to the counselee from discontinuance when he needs counseling, they feel, is likely to be even more harmful than offering such assistance (Johnson, pp. 12-15).

The basic duty of a marriage counselor is to listen, understand, and contribute to a better understanding between partners. The key rules of couple counseling are non-judgment and objective attitude to both partners. Under no circumstance a counselor, at least a good one is allowed to take sides with the one partner or the other. Partners should always be on equal terms, because otherwise one of them will feel discriminated.

A good family therapist is a person who is able to put himself into the position of those people who have problems with their relationships. He must be able to look at the problem from different perspectives. To a certain extent, couple counselor plays the role of a peacekeeper (Hargrave, pp. 114-118).

Another marked characteristic of couple counseling is entire inadmissibility of stereotyping, naturally it does not mean that every problem a married couple may have is unique, but a counselor must always be contextually oriented which means he has to find an approach to every couple (Johnson, pp. 58-60).

Thus, we may define the basic principles of couples counseling. The first principle that must be mentioned is the contextual orientation because every couple is unique in one’s own way and under no circumstances a family counselor may stereotype. The second principle is the necessity to put oneself in the position of a married couple that needs psychological assistance. The main peculiarity is that the opinions and beliefs of both partners must be taken into consideration. The final and the most important principle is impartiality a therapist must never take sides with any of the partners otherwise; the treatment itself will be of no use.

Bibliography

Anderson, E. (1998). Covenant marriage: Some do, more don’t. Times-Picayune, A1, A6.

Aponte, H. J. 1998. Love, the spiritual well-being of forgiveness: An example of spirituality in therapy. Journal of Family Therapy, 20, 37-58.

Gottman, J. M. 1994. What predicts divorce? The relationship between marital processes and marital outcomes. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

Guerney, B. G., Jr., & Maxon, P. 1990. Marital and family enrichment research: A decade review and look ahead. Marriage and the Family, 52, 1127-1135.

Hargrave, T. D., & Sells, J. N. (1997). The development of a forgiveness scale. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 23, 41-62.

Johnson, S. M. (1996). The practice of emotionally focused marital therapy: Creating connection. New York: Brunner/Mazel.

Newman, M , Jansen D. 1989. Really Relating – How To Build An Enduring Relationship. Hutchinson Australia.

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Essay on Happiness

List of essays on happiness, essay on happiness – short essay (essay 1 – 150 words), essay on happiness – for kids and children (essay 2 – 200 words), essay on happiness – 10 lines on happiness written in english (essay 3 – 250 words), essay on happiness (essay 4 – 300 words), essay on happiness – ways to be happy (essay 5 – 400 words), essay on happiness – for school students (class 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 standard) (essay 6 – 500 words), essay on happiness – ways of developing happiness (essay 7 – 600 words), essay on happiness – sources of suffering, happiness and conclusion (essay 8 – 750 words), essay on happiness – long essay on happiness (essay 9 – 1000 words).

Happiness is defined by different people in different ways. When we feel positive emotions we tend to feel happy. That is what happiness is all about. Happiness is also regarded as the mental state of a person in an optimistic manner.

Every person defines happiness in his/her own manner. In whatever manner you may define happiness; the truth is that it is vital for a healthy and prosperous life.

In order to make students understand what true happiness is all about, we have prepared short essays for students which shall enlighten them further on this topic.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4 ,5, 6 and 7 Standard).

Introduction:

Happiness is a state of mind and the feeling expressed when things are going great. It is what we feel when we get our first car, buy a new house or graduate with the best grades. Happiness should be distinguished from joy. When joy is a constant state of mind, happiness depends on events in our lives.

Importance of Happiness:

The opposite of happiness is sadness which is a state of negativity in the mindset. When we remain sad for an extended period of time it can lead to depression. To avoid this state of mind we must always remind ourselves of happenings in our lives that made us happy.

Conclusion:

Though life throws countless challenges at us on a daily basis, if we drown in those challenges we would definitely become depressed. It is important that we find positive things in our daily lives to get excited about and feel the happiness.

Happiness is a state of mind which makes you feel accomplished in life and having everything in this world without a single reason to repent. Well, although there can be no perfect definition of happiness; happiness is when you feel you’re at the top of the world where a sense of complete satisfaction prevails.

The meaning of happiness is relative and varies from people to people. For some, happiness is when you experience professional success, reunions with family and friends, eating out, reading books or watching good movies. While for others, happiness can be accomplished by some weekend activities which might help you de-stress and get the satisfaction of mind.

If you involve yourself in social activities where you help the needy and provide support to the weaker section of the society, you can experience happiness if not anything else. When a young boy flies a kite, plays with mud, and watches the nature, for him, that is the greatest happiness in the world.

The happiness of mind is often considered quite contrary to jealousy and anger which you experience once you have failed or unaccomplished any desired goal. You should always try to rehearse the ways of keeping yourself satisfied and keeping away from negativity to experience peace and happiness in life. True happiness begins where desire ends!

What is happiness? It is a state of being happy. But it does not mean to be happy all the time. Happiness is a feeling of something good that is happening in our life. We feel happy when we achieve something. But happiness is spread when our dear one is happy as well. Some people find true happiness in playing with their pets, while some may find happiness in staying engaged in creative work.

Happiness is often derived from channelizing thoughts to positive thinking. However, it is not as simple as it may sound.

To achieve the state of complete happiness one has to practice on improving the state of life by:

1. Staying contended in life with what you have. Cribbing and grumbling never lead to happiness.

2. Staying focused on the current life instead of daydreaming of the good days or old days.

3. Stop blaming for something that went terribly wrong in life. The life is all about moving on. Stop worrying and set new goals in life.

4. Being thankful to God for all the good things that you have in your life.

5. Having good people around you who can boost up positivity in your life.

Everyone desires to be happy in life. Happiness cannot be achieved without establishing complete control of one’s thoughts as it is very easy to be carried away by the waves of thoughts and emotions surrounding us. Remind yourself of the good things of your life and be thankful about it.

What is happiness? Some would state that happiness implies being well off. Others would state that for them, happiness intends to be sound. You will discover individuals saying that for them happiness implies having love in their life, having numerous companions, a great job, or accomplishing a specific objective. There are individuals, who trust that the want of a specific wish would make happiness in their life; however, it may not be so. Having true happiness is something which is desired by all.

The Path to Happiness:

There are small things which when incorporated into our daily lives, can lead us to the path of happiness. For instance, instead of thinking about problems, we should actually be thinking about the solutions. Not only will we be happier but we shall also be able to solve our problems faster. Similarly, once in a while, you start the day with the longing to achieve a few targets. Toward the day’s end, you may feel disappointed and miserable, in light of the fact that you haven’t possessed the capacity to do those things. Take a look at what you have done, not at what you have not possessed the capacity to do. Regularly, regardless of whether you have achieved a ton amid the day, you let yourself feel disappointed, due to some minor assignments you didn’t achieve. This takes away happiness from you.

Again, now and then, you go throughout the day effectively completing numerous plans, yet as opposed to feeling cheerful and fulfilled, you see what was not cultivated and feel troubled. It is out of line towards you.

Each day accomplishes something good which you enjoy doing. It may tend to be something little, such as purchasing a book, eating something you cherish, viewing your most loved program on TV, heading out to a motion picture, or simply having a walk around the shoreline. Even small things can bring great levels of happiness in our lives and motivate us for new goals.

Happiness is not what you feel from outside, rather it is something which comes from your inner soul. We should find happiness in us rather than searching for it in worldly desires.

Happiness is defined by different people in different ways. Some find happiness in having a luxurious life while some find it in having loving people around them rather than money. True happiness lies within us and our expectation of happiness. It is something that should be felt and cannot be explained in words.

Even though this simple word has a lot of meaning hidden in it, many fail to understand the real one or feel the real happiness. Finding happiness in the outer world is the main reason for this failure. Nothing can buy you happiness, whether be the favorite thing you desire for or the person you love the most or the career you build, unless and until you feel it within yourself.

Ways to be Happy:

Bring happiness and soulful life to yourself rather than expecting it from the outside world like things, money, etc. Being happy is not as easy as advised to be one happier person. To be content and happy with whatever you have and yourself it takes time and patience. You should practice to be a happier person in all moments and eventually you will notice that no sorrow can sink you down.

Whatever good or bad happened in your past shouldn’t bother your present. Learn to live today with more happiness than yesterday and forget about your past sadness for a harmonious life. Thankfulness to the life you got is another important character you should acquire to be happy. If you compare yourself with someone with better luxurious life, then you will never be happy or content and do it the other way.

Don’t depress your mind with bad and negative thoughts about yourself and around. Try to find every goodness in a situation you face and accept the things that already happened, whether good or bad. Never forget to choose merrier and positive people to be closer to you so that their vibes will also help you in being one merrier person.

Whenever you feel low and depressed never hesitate to go to those around you to find happiness. But be aware of those negative ones that may pull you even deeper into the bad thoughts. Always surround yourself with positive thinking and motivating people so that you can rise higher even from the deepest fall.

Happiness is nothing but a feeling that will be seeded into your soul only if you wish to and nothing other than yourself can indulge this feeling in you. Don’t spoil your life finding happiness somewhere else.

Happiness is a very complicated thing. Happiness can be used both in emotional or mental state context and can vary largely from a feeling from contentment to very intense feeling of joy. It can also mean a life of satisfaction, good well-being and so many more. Happiness is a very difficult phenomenon to use words to describe as it is something that can be felt only. Happiness is very important if we want to lead a very good life. Sadly, happiness is absent from the lives of a lot of people nowadays. We all have our own very different concept of happiness. Some of us are of the opinion that we can get happiness through money, others believe they can only get true happiness in relationships, some even feel that happiness can only be gotten when they are excelling in their profession.

As we might probably know, happiness is nothing more than the state of one being content and happy. A lot of people in the past, present and some (even in the future will) have tried to define and explain what they think happiness really is. So far, the most reasonable one is the one that sees happiness as something that can only come from within a person and should not be sought for outside in the world.

Some very important points about happiness are discussed below:

1. Happiness can’t be bought with Money:

A lot of us try to find happiness where it is not. We associate and equate money with happiness. If at all there is happiness in money then all of the rich people we have around us would never feel sad. What we have come to see is that even the rich amongst us are the ones that suffer depression, relationship problems, stress, fear and even anxiousness. A lot of celebrities and successful people have committed suicide, this goes a long way to show that money or fame does not guarantee happiness. This does not mean that it is a bad thing to be rich and go after money. When you have money, you can afford many things that can make you and those around you very happy.

2. Happiness can only come from within:

There is a saying that explains that one can only get true happiness when one comes to the realisation that only one can make himself/herself happy. We can only find true happiness within ourselves and we can’t find it in other people. This saying and its meaning is always hammered on in different places but we still refuse to fully understand it and put it into good use. It is very important that we understand that happiness is nothing more than the state of a person’s mind. Happiness cannot come from all the physical things we see around us. Only we through our positive emotions that we can get through good thoughts have the ability to create true happiness.

Our emotions are created by our thoughts. Therefore, it is very important that we work on having only positive thoughts and this can be achieved when we see life in a positive light.

Happiness is desired by every person. However, there are very few persons that attain happiness easily in life.

It is quite tough to get happiness in life as people usually link it with the things and the people around them. The simple fact is that happiness usually starts as well as finishes with your own life. All those people who understand this fact easily get the true happiness in their life.

Happiness in Relationships:

There are lots of people who link happiness with the money and there are few others also who link it with the personal relations. It is very important to know that if you are not happy with yourself then, it is not possible to remain happy in your relationship as well.

The problems in the relationship have been increasing speedily and the main cause behind it is the huge amount of expectation that we have from the other individual. We always want them to make us feel happy. For example, some people feel happy if their partner plans a surprise for them or if he/she buy them a new dress. But all these things are not a true source of happiness in life.

Ways of Developing Happiness:

The lack of happiness in the relationship not only exists in couples but also in the relationship of friends, sister – brother or parent-child.

The following are the few ways that help in creating happiness in the relationships:

1. Pay Attention to Yourself:

You should always pay attention to yourself to get happiness. You should not give importance to any other person in your life in comparison to yourself and also expect the same from that person. Giving too much importance to the other and not receiving anything back from them makes a person disappointed and happiness gets lost.

2. Have some Initiative:

You can make the plan of traveling outside yourself. Don’t wait for your parent, partner or kid to take you outside. You can ask them to come along with you if they want. But, if they decline your offer then, don’t get discouraged and carry on your trip plan along with full happiness.

3. Provide some Space:

It is necessary to provide some amount of space to every individual and spend some time with oneself. It helps in creating happiness.

Happiness is Necessary for Good Life:

It does not matter that whether you are a working expert, a schoolchild, a retired person or a housewife, happiness is necessary for everybody to live a good and happy life. Happiness is essential for an individual’s emotional comfort. A person who is not fit emotionally will feel an impact on his complete health that will drain very soon.

Unluckily, despite the fact that happiness is tremendously necessary, people do not give so much importance to all those habits which can keep them happy. They are so excessively captivated inside their professional lives as well as other nuts and bolts of life that they overlook to relish the happy memories of their life. It is also the main reason that problems like anxiety, stress, and depression are increasing gradually in people’s lives today.

Happiness is an internal feeling. It is a healthy emotion. Happiness helps us to stay fit both mentally and physically. Happiness helps in lowering stress and keeping away from any health issues. The reason of happiness may be different for different person. You just need to find out what actually makes you happy. So, if you want real happiness in life then, you need to understand that only you can make yourself happy.

“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way” this sentence has been attributed to Buddha. Well, at least that’s what it says on one sticker in my dorm room. The fact is that man has occupied himself with the path to happiness for millennia. Something happened during our evolution that made us deeply question the purpose of our existence. People like Buddha are part of the answer, or at least they try to give us the answer.

Since these questions have troubled us there have been many who sought to answer them and by doing so, they formed philosophies and religions. The search for earthly happiness will make many do incredible deeds but if this energy is used in the wrong way it can cause great suffering. How can we know which recipe for happiness is the best one and what we should devote our time and attention to? The trick is, there is no right answer and as the first sentence of this essay states, there is no way to be happy because being happy is the way. That’s how I got my head around this problem, let me explain some more.

Source of Suffering:

At the expense of sounding Buddhist, when you think about most of the things that make us unhappy are material in nature. They are the things that we really do not need but they make us feel happy. This notion is not just something the wise man from the 6 th century BC India expressed but many more have said this before and after him. Socrates and Jesus to name just a few.

What I find interesting in the struggle for happiness is the paradox present in the instructions to reach it. One has a  thought all through life to be good and hard working so he can get the things he wants and needs later on in life but then as you start to struggle for the money you realize that your life is turning into a money grabbing game. So, the source of happiness and stability becomes the source of all your anxiety and aggression. Naturally, we can see how some people thought that all material things stand on the path to our happiness.

But what about the immaterial, what if you are in love with someone you are not supposed to love? The above instruction would tell you to surrender your heart’s desire and you will be free from constraints. Is this happiness? Or is it the struggle to do and achieve the impossible the real source of happiness?

Source of Happiness:

People often forget that they are animals and like all of them they have a logic to their nature and their own specific needs. Like all the other animal’s people are caught in the struggle for existence and sometimes surviving the day can be a real ordeal if you get caught in the wrong circumstances. Men has made himself safe from most of the things that could have harmed him in nature but in doing so he forgot what he has made.

Think about the present from a historical perspective. Even a hundred years ago most people lost up to 80% of all their children to diseases, clean water was a rarity for most of our existence, and people actually had to labor to make food and to have enough to feed their family all through the year. The fact is we have a lot to be grateful for in the present age and the fact that some of us are unhappy because we do not have all our heart’s desires is just a symptom of collective infancy. Having all of your loved ones around you, with a roof to shelter under and with lots of delicious food is the only source of happiness man needs everything else should just be a bonus.

Happiness cannot be found by rejecting everything that is material or by earning more money then you can spend. The trick is to find balance by looking at yourself and the lives of people around you and by understanding that there is a lot to be grateful for, the trick is to stop searching for a path and to understand that we are already walking on one. As long as we are making any type of list of the prerequisite for our life of happiness, we will end up unsatisfied because life does not grant wishes we are the ones that make them come true. Often the biggest change in our lives comes from a simple change of perspective rather than from anything we can own.

Happiness is the state of emotional wellbeing and being contented. Happiness is expressed through joyful moments and smiles. It is a desirable feeling that everybody want to have at all times. Being happy is influenced by situations, achievements and other circumstances. Happiness is an inner quality that reflects on the state of mind. A peaceful state of mind is considered to be happiness. The emotional state of happiness is mixture of feelings of joy, satisfaction, gratitude, euphoria and victory.

How happiness is achieved:

Happiness is achieved psychologically through having a peaceful state of mind. By a free state of mind, I mean that there should be no stressful factors to think about. Happiness is also achieved through accomplishment of goals that are set by individuals. There is always happiness that accompanies success and they present feelings of triumph and contentment.

To enable personal happiness in life, it is important that a person puts himself first and have good self-perception. Putting what makes you happy first, instead of putting other people or other things first is a true quest towards happiness. In life, people tend to disappoint and putting them as a priority always reduces happiness for individuals. There is also the concept of practicing self-love and self-acceptance. Loving oneself is the key to happiness because it will mean that it will not be hard to put yourself first when making decisions.

It is important for an individual to control the thoughts that goes on in their heads. A peaceful state of mind is achieved when thoughts are at peace. It is recommended that things that cause a stressful state of mind should be avoided.

Happiness is a personal decision that is influenced by choices made. There is a common phrase on happiness; “happiness is a choice” which is very true because people choose if they want to be happy or not. Happiness is caused by circumstances and people have the liberty to choose those circumstance and get away from those that make them unhappy.

Happiness is also achieved through the kind of support system that an individual has. Having a family or friends that are supportive will enable the achievement of happiness. Communicating and interacting with the outside world is important.

Factors Affecting Happiness:

Sleep patterns influence the state of mind thus influence happiness. Having enough sleep always leads to happy mornings and a good state of mind for rest of the day. Sleep that is adequate also affects the appearance of a person. There is satisfaction that comes with having enough sleep. Enough rest increases performance and productivity of an individual and thus more successes and achievements are realized and happiness is experienced.

Another factor affecting happiness is the support network of an individual. A strong support network of family and friends results in more happiness. Establishing good relationships with neighbors, friends and family through regular interactions brings more happiness to an individual. With support network, the incidences of stressful moments will be reduced because your family and friends will always be of help.

Sexual satisfaction has been established to affect happiness. It is not just about getting the right partner anymore. It is about having a partner that will satisfy you sexually. There is a relationship between sex and happiness because of the hormones secreted during sexual intercourse. The hormone is called oxytocin and responsible for the happiness due to sexual satisfaction. Satisfaction also strengthens the relationships between the partners and that creates happiness.

Wealth also plays a significant role in happiness. There is a common phrase that is against money and happiness: “money cannot buy happiness” is this true? Personally, I believe that being financially stable contributes to happiness because you will always have peace of mind and many achievements. Peace of mind is possible for wealthy people because they do not have stressors here and then compared to poor people. Also, when a person is wealthy, they can afford to engage in luxurious activities that relaxes the mind and create happiness. For a person to be wealthy, they will have had many achievements in life. These achievement make them happy.

A good state of health is an important factor that influences the happiness of individuals. A healthy person will be happy because there are no worries of diseases or pain that they are experiencing. When a person is healthy, their state of mind is at peace because they are not afraid of death or any other health concerns. Not only the health of individuals is important, but also the health of the support system of the person. Friends and family’s state of health will always have an impact on what we feel as individuals because we care about them and we get worried whenever they are having bad health.

Communication and interactions are important in relation to an individual’s happiness. Having a support system is not enough because people need to communicate and interact freely. Whenever there are interactions like a social gathering where people talk and eat together, more happiness is experienced. This concept is witnessed in parties because people are always laughing and smiling in parties whenever they are with friends.

Communication is key to happiness because it helps in problem solving and relieving stressors in life. Sharing experiences with a support system creates a state of wellbeing after the solution is sought. Sometime when I am sad, I take my phone and call a friend or a family member and by the time the phone call is over, I always feel better and relieved of my worries.

Happiness is an important emotion that influences how we live and feel on a daily basis. Happiness is achieved in simple ways. People have the liberty to choose happiness because we are not bound by any circumstances for life. Factors that influence happiness are those that contribute to emotional wellbeing. Physical wellbeing also affects happiness. Every individual finds happiness in their own because they know what makes them happy and what doesn’t.

Emotions , Happiness , Psychology

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The Role of Communication in the Relationships Essay

The way people communicate is extremely important, especially in a marriage, as individuals can get lost in the routine and daily responsibilities. An article “Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in happy marriages” examines the issue of what happens to couples and how to avoid the distancing that takes over the relationship.

One of the most problematic areas for married couples is the content of their conversation. It must be centered on their individuality and personal problems. People must look deeper, past the surface of the daily duties that involve children, family matters and work.

They must disclose personal information and this will lead to proper communication and understanding. It is very possible to relate to the article and advice given because in the modern world, people often get preoccupied with the fast pace that is required by their work, responsibilities and necessities of life (Sole, 2011).

From a personal point of view, there have been several times when a situation did not get resolved due to a simple misunderstanding. For example, a choice of restaurant was offered and a person who offered the type of restaurant did not really see the difference between many kinds of places.

Their partner did not want to offend their choice and so, had to go with the offered location. Once there, the setting was not very well established and the couple had a mediocre experience. Once they got home, it turned into a minor argument where one was displeased with the place and was asking for the reasons of such a poor selection.

The person who offered that specific restaurant did not really care for the setting and so, this situation could have been avoided if both expressed their attitude towards the location. If the person displeased with the setting had honestly admitted about their dislike, a different selection of the restaurant could have been made.

This shows how important it is to express personal feelings. Even if there is a possibility that a person might get slightly offended, it is better to try to do it in the most kind and respectful way, as to explain own reasons and state why they do not prefer a certain choice. This would help avoid a much greater conflict and argument. Self disclosure is very important in a relationship because it allows people to express their inner emotions and likes, which will help people to get to know each other better.

Also, it will aid individuals to adjust to the interests and be able to predict what can and cannot be done in a certain situation. The similarities between genders are very obvious. Both men and women appreciate affection and honesty. Attention that is paid to details goes a long way and helps find a common ground. Both males and females have specific taste preferences for food and favorite drinks.

The amount of common likes and dislikes is enormous but most of all, both genders need and look for love and understanding from their partner. Generalizations in relation to communication are common for all. People should involve themselves in conversations more, as well as personal sharing (Schoenberg, 2011).

The human ability to transfer understanding and ideas to others is extremely important, especially in marriage and any other relationship. People should engage each other to share and relate to common interests and themes.

Schoenberg, N. (2011). Can we talk? Researcher talks about the role of communication in happy marriages. Washington, United States: McClatchy – Tribune News Service.

Sole, K. (2011). Making connections: Understanding interpersonal communication. San Diego, United States: Bridgepoint Education, Inc

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IvyPanda . "The Role of Communication in the Relationships." May 7, 2019. https://ivypanda.com/essays/relations/.

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The 'Pink Shirt Couple' has just called it quits. What will happen to their following of more than 25 million?

Alyssa Eckstein and Cayden Christianson

Cayden (Cayda) Christianson and Alyssa Eckstein, known to their millions of YouTube followers as " The Pink Shirt Couple ", have officially broken up. The Arizona-based former couple, who amassed more than 25 million followers on social media, announced their split on Saturday. In a video , posted to their channels, the pair told their audience the news: "We did break up as a couple," Christianson, 23, shared. "We're still really close as friends and care very deeply about each other." The influencers, who met in 2021 while on the swim team in college, have seen mega success as joint content creators. They began by creating individual video content before they started dating. Then, they got in on trending challenges together, before finding their shtick – posting silly videos they wanted to be appropriate for all ages, all while wearing matching pink shirts every day. Some of their videos document the couple learning new things, like Eckstein taking a martial arts class for the first time, or the pair finding out what happens as they attempt to wax the fuzz off of peaches. More like this: - Teacher turns Insta star making five meals for £25 - Italian influencers to be bound by tighter rules - The science lab technician turned TikTok star The pink shirt gimmick didn't hurt, either. Cindy Marie Jenkins, a social media expert and founder of OutThinkMedia, says it all started when Christianson "got a lot of compliments on his pink polo shirt" and Eckstein joined in "for fun". They likely saw a significant bump in traffic and decided to keep doing what works. "It really matches their content and appealing nature," she explains of the cheeky, light-hearted videos. In a video posted on 8 October 2023, the former couple addressed questions about why they wear matching outfits , and showed off their completely pink-cloaked closet. "We tried to do fashion," Eckstein explained at the time. "A potato sack could've dressed better than us," Christianson added. Jenkins says the former couple's success absolutely wasn't accidental, but well-executed. "Part of their strategy arose from attending VidCon in 2022 after having micro-influencer success with Rubik's Cube Awards and individual content," says Jenkins. "In 2022, YouTube wanted to compete with TikTok and launched YouTube Shorts." Jenkins says that's when the couple switched gears to creating "specific YouTube Shorts content". She also says that the couple, specifically Eckstein, dug into analytics and educated herself about what drives traffic, which they've opened up about in their videos.

It's very hard to be a couple and business partners and 'show' your relationship online all the time, where you have to be positive for the camera – Cindy Marie Jenkins

The hard work paid off, and now, those followers are invested. "Pls tell me it's a joke," reads the top comment on Instagram. "I think it’s real,” another commenter notes, adding they suspected something when Cayden "wasn’t in any of the videos for a long time". Knowing their followers would have a lot to say about the split, the former couple used the breakup announcement video to explain what would happen to their joint accounts. Christianson, who shared that he wasn't as invested as his former partner in creating content anymore, said he will be the one to step aside. "I started taking advantage of her and letting her do more work," he said in the video, explaining he had felt uninspired by their collaboration.

Eckstein, then, will be the one to keep the PinkShirtCouple name. She tells BBC Culture that she has no bad feelings towards her ex, and is excited to keep at it. "For what's next, I am still making content on the main channel as long as the viewers feel that it is OK," she shared. "I have so many big ideas, and my goal to make amazing content to inspire people to be themselves still stands." Eckstein also says that, post-breakup, she plans to lean into inspiring people to get into volunteer work. "The content is going to be similar, but different, establishing who I am as an individual," she says. While Christianson and Eckstein were successful as content creators during their time together, Jenkins says that the challenge they now face is not at all uncommon for paired-up influencers. "There are many couples who get big and grow their influence as a couple, especially when they're young," she explains. "But it's very hard to be a couple and business partners and 'show' your relationship online all the time, where you have to be positive for the camera." Christianson will be using the name ThePinkShirtSingle for his content moving forward. If you liked this story, sign up for The Essential List newsletter – a handpicked selection of features, videos and can't-miss news delivered to your inbox every Friday.

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The Picture Show

Ukraine invasion — explained, ukrainian soldiers' valentines arrive by 'train of love'.

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Claire Harbage

Hanna Palamarenko

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A soldier meets his partner at the train station in Sloviansk, in eastern Ukraine, ahead of Valentine's Day. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

A soldier meets his partner at the train station in Sloviansk, in eastern Ukraine, ahead of Valentine's Day.

A week before Valentine's Day, Inna Yermolovych and Yulya Dmytrieeva booked train tickets from Ukraine's capital, Kyiv, to the east, where they will meet their husbands — soldiers who serve in the same unit.

These Ukrainians have managed to find and hold onto love in a time of war

These Ukrainians have managed to find and hold onto love in a time of war

"On this day, we usually expect presents and flowers, cards and hearts," says Inna, a 30-something import manager and hat-maker. "Not this year."

She and her husband, Dima, are newlyweds. She hasn't seen him for a month. Seeing him for even a couple of days, she says, "recharges me."

essay on happy couple

Soldiers arrive at the Kramatorsk train station, in eastern Ukraine, holding flowers for their wives and girlfriends. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

Soldiers arrive at the Kramatorsk train station, in eastern Ukraine, holding flowers for their wives and girlfriends.

"It's amazing, these moments," she says. "I enjoy even how he's drinking tea or how he's putting on his shoes or, like, how he's moving, just to see he's breathing."

Yulya and her husband, Vadym, have been together for almost 14 years. "He's incredible," says Yulya, who's 49, works in IT and has red-tinted dreadlocks. "He's creative. And he makes people around him happy."

essay on happy couple

Inna Yermolovych meets her husband, Dima, at the train station in Sloviansk, in eastern Ukraine. They will spend a few days together before he returns to the battlefield. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

Inna Yermolovych meets her husband, Dima, at the train station in Sloviansk, in eastern Ukraine. They will spend a few days together before he returns to the battlefield.

The women board a train headed to the Donetsk region, where the war's fiercest fighting is going on. It's filled with the partners of soldiers fighting there. The route that starts in Kyiv and ends in the city of Kramatorsk is sometimes called the "train of love."

Inna and Yulya are due to get off at the train's second-to-last stop. Inna's husband, Dima, arrives first.

essay on happy couple

Inna Yermolovych holds hands with her husband at the train station. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

Inna Yermolovych holds hands with her husband at the train station.

"She's the best thing in my life," he says. "She's what I'm fighting for and what I live for."

With Western military aid increasingly uncertain, Ukraine builds its own weapons

With Western military aid increasingly uncertain, Ukraine builds its own weapons

Then Yulya's husband, Vadym, arrives, running to the train of love to meet her. Like Yulya, he also has dreadlocks, but his are dyed blue and yellow — the colors of the Ukrainian flag.

Vadym's face lights up when he sees his wife. She jumps into his arms and they kiss. Inna and Dima hug each other tightly.

essay on happy couple

Yulya Dmytrieeva and her husband, Vadym, who have been together for over a decade, embrace in the snow in Sloviansk. They will spend a few days together while he has a break from the trenches on the front lines. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

Yulya Dmytrieeva and her husband, Vadym, who have been together for over a decade, embrace in the snow in Sloviansk. They will spend a few days together while he has a break from the trenches on the front lines.

There are reunions all day at the Sloviansk station and at the train's final stop, in Kramatorsk. Every day is Valentine's Day here. Shops that sell flowers and chocolates are always busy, making as much money as they did before the war.

It's snowing, so Dima and Vadym take their wives to a cafe to warm up. They try to see their wives as often as possible. They lament that wartime separation has ended too many marriages.

essay on happy couple

Flowers for sale at a shop in Kramatorsk, near the train station. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

Flowers for sale at a shop in Kramatorsk, near the train station.

"Some wives go abroad and build new lives," Dima says. "And sometimes, women who stay here cannot understand how their husbands change on the battlefield."

As Ukraine seeks to replenish its depleted army, a divide grows among its civilians

As Ukraine seeks to replenish its depleted army, a divide grows among its civilians

Vadym brings up a soldier in their unit who divorced his wife.

"She made all of us these," Vadym says, holding up his wrist to show a knitted friendship bracelet. "After we returned from a difficult combat mission, something snapped in him and he said he could no longer talk to her."

essay on happy couple

Yulya Dmytrieeva and her husband, Vadym, sit together at a cafe to warm up on a snowy day. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

Yulya Dmytrieeva and her husband, Vadym, sit together at a cafe to warm up on a snowy day.

There's a couple moments of silence. Then they change the subject. Inna and Dima talk about having kids. Vadym and Yulya say they plan to adopt. But two years of war have also lowered expectations for the future.

"The main thing now is to just stay alive," Vadym says, "and that's what we plan to do."

At the station, the next train of love arrives. Soldiers holding flowers line the platform, waiting for the doors to open.

essay on happy couple

Soldiers hold flowers as they wait for their wives and girlfriends to arrive to the Kramatorsk train station. Claire Harbage/NPR hide caption

Soldiers hold flowers as they wait for their wives and girlfriends to arrive to the Kramatorsk train station.

  • Russia-Ukraine war
  • Russia Ukraine
  • valentine's day

What is Presidents Day and how is it celebrated? What to know about the federal holiday

Many will have a day off on monday in honor of presidents day. consumers may take advantage of retail sales that proliferate on the federal holiday, but here's what to know about the history of it..

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Presidents Day is fast approaching, which may signal to many a relaxing three-day weekend and plenty of holiday sales and bargains .

But next to Independence Day, there may not exist another American holiday that is quite so patriotic.

While Presidents Day has come to be a commemoration of all the nation's 46 chief executives, both past and present, it wasn't always so broad . When it first came into existence – long before it was even federally recognized – the holiday was meant to celebrate just one man: George Washington.

How has the day grown from a simple celebration of the birthday of the first president of the United States? And why are we seeing all these ads for car and furniture sales on TV?

Here's what to know about Presidents Day and how it came to be:

When is Presidents Day 2024?

This year, Presidents Day is on Monday, Feb. 19.

The holiday is celebrated on the third Monday of every February because of a bill signed into law in 1968 by President Lyndon B. Johnson. Taking effect three years later, the Uniform Holiday Bill mandated that three holidays – Memorial Day, Presidents Day and Veterans Day – occur on Mondays to prevent midweek shutdowns and add long weekends to the federal calendar, according to Britannica .

Other holidays, including Labor Day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day , were also established to be celebrated on Mondays when they were first observed.

However, Veterans Day was returned to Nov. 11 in 1978 and continues to be commemorated on that day.

What does Presidents Day commemorate?

Presidents Day was initially established in 1879 to celebrate the birthday of the nation's first president, George Washington. In fact, the holiday was simply called Washington's Birthday, which is still how the federal government refers to it, the Department of State explains .

Following the death of the venerated American Revolution leader in 1799, Feb. 22, widely believed to be Washington's date of birth , became a perennial day of remembrance, according to History.com .

The day remained an unofficial observance for much of the 1800s until Sen. Stephen Wallace Dorsey of Arkansas proposed that it become a federal holiday. In 1879, President Rutherford B. Hayes signed it into law, according to History.com.

While initially being recognized only in Washington D.C., Washington's Birthday became a nationwide holiday in 1885. The first to celebrate the life of an individual American, Washington's Birthday was at the time one of only five federally-recognized holidays – the others being Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July.

However, most Americans today likely don't view the federal holiday as a commemoration of just one specific president. Presidents Day has since come to represent a day to recognize and celebrate all of the United States' commanders-in-chief, according to the U.S. Department of State .

When the Uniform Holiday Bill took effect in 1971, a provision was included to combine the celebration of Washington’s birthday with Abraham Lincoln's on Feb. 12, according to History.com. Because the new annual date always fell between Washington's and Lincoln's birthdays, Americans believed the day was intended to honor both presidents.

Interestingly, advertisers may have played a part in the shift to "Presidents Day."

Many businesses jumped at the opportunity to use the three-day weekend as a means to draw customers with Presidents Day sales and bargain at stores across the country, according to History.com.

How is the holiday celebrated?

Because Presidents Day is a federal holiday , most federal workers will have the day off .

Part of the reason Johnson made the day a uniform holiday was so Americans had a long weekend "to travel farther and see more of this beautiful land of ours," he wrote. As such, places like the Washington Monument in D.C. and Mount Rushmore in South Dakota – which bears the likenesses of Presidents Washington, Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson and Theodore Roosevelt – are bound to attract plenty of tourists.

Similar to Independence Day, the holiday is also viewed as a patriotic celebration . As opposed to July, February might not be the best time for backyard barbecues and fireworks, but reenactments, parades and other ceremonies are sure to take place in cities across the U.S.

Presidential places abound across the U.S.

Opinions on current and recent presidents may leave Americans divided, but we apparently love our leaders of old enough to name a lot of places after them.

In 2023, the U.S. Census Bureau pulled information from its databases showcasing presidential geographic facts about the nation's cities and states.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the census data shows that as of 2020 , the U.S. is home to plenty of cities, counties and towns bearing presidential names. Specifically:

  • 94 places are named "Washington."
  • 72 places are named "Lincoln."
  • 67 places are named for Andrew Jackson, a controversial figure who owned slaves and forced thousands of Native Americans to march along the infamous Trail of Tears.

Contributing: Clare Mulroy

Eric Lagatta covers breaking and trending news for USA TODAY. Reach him at [email protected]

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