descriptive writing paper 1 question 5

AQA GCSE English Language Paper 1 Question 5

Here’s a descriptive writing example answer that I completed in timed conditions for AQA English Language Paper 1, Question 5. This question is worth HALF of your marks for the entire paper, so getting it right is crucial to receiving a high grade overall for your English GCSE. Underneath the answer, I’ll provide some feedback and analysis on why this piece would receive a top mark grade (around 38–40/40).

For further help, here’s a Link to the exam paper (AQA English Language Paper 1, Question 5) 

Thanks so much for reading! If you find this resource helpful, take a look at our full GCSE English courses here:

The Ultimate AQA GCSE English Course Paper 1

The Ultimate AQA GCSE English Course Paper 2

Basic Descriptive Writing

“There’s an old house at the bottom of our road, so overgrown by giant twisted willow trees that you’d almost not realise it’s there if you passed. A grand old house, it must have once been owned by rich aristocrats; if you stare at it long enough you can just about imagine how they would have been a hundred years ago — swanning around in floaty silk dresses and smart wool suits, lounging on the swing in the veranda, sipping champagne and listening to jazz music well into the small hours of the morning.

But now, that swing is a rotten, splintered board barely held by frayed old ropes; it squeaks loudly as it sways in the breeze. The surrounding yard is replete with piles of rotten leaves and tall wisps of uncut grass. The whole house is crooked. It looks as if it’s sinking. The roof sags and dips inwards, like it can’t cope with life anymore and it just wants to crumble back into dust. On the exterior, the paint has almost all flaked off, giving a pixelated effect to the house: a glitch in a video game, it doesn’t belong in this world. The windows are opalescent from dust, and occasionally a pallid glow emanates from one of the larger windows on the bottom floor, followed by the hunched, aged silhouette of a man: Mr Grimshaw.

Mr Grimshaw’s the reason we go there, really. I don’t know what it is exactly, but he’s just fascinating to watch.

We don’t even know if Grimshaw’s his real name; that’s just what everyone around here calls him. A few of us dare each other to climb over the iron gates and sneak about the yard, getting as close to the house as we can without being seen. It’s a kind of ‘Grandpa’s footsteps’, I suppose. The furthest any of us ever make it is climbing up into the curled branches of the willows, which stop about halfway into the yard from the fence.

We sneak up into the willows and watch Mr Grimshaw most weekends (there’s not much else to do in our town). It’s like a doll’s house, but a living, breathing one. And much creepier, too, especially because half of the windows are a blur. You can just about make out the old furniture and faded decor in the rooms, once meticulously decorated yet now fallen into disrepair. He’s always moving between them, like a theatre set — he shuffles about in a frayed paisley smoking jacket — which I’m sure he must have stolen from one of the ornate armoires in the upstairs bedrooms.

Mostly, to amuse ourselves we usually compete by making derogatory comments and sly, ironic witticisms on Grimshaw’s every hunched and creaky shuffle: “What a WEIRDO!”, “Oh he’s back in the attic again, fourth time today” “Doesn’t he ever sleep? He’s the undead, I swear!”, that sort of thing. We often make up stories about him: he’s an old wizard, muttering spells and curses under his breath at anyone who dares cross into his territory. He’s a ghost doomed to wander the ramshackle halls of his former estate for eternity, and only those pure of heart can see or speak to him. He’s a hobo who got lucky and, finding the place abandoned, set up a little nest for himself there.

But today feels different, somehow. Today, we’re silent. The willows rustle; we listen. With a slow creak that’s straight out of a horror film, the gnarled front door swings open, and we get a close up of Mr Grimshaw for the very first time. He looks taller now, less crippled yet still leaning slightly onto his black walking stick, his gnarled and veiny hand resting on its ivory carved top. His eyes are bright blue and shimmering, like a glacier, and they’re open very wide, so that you can see the whites of his eyeballs. Hobbling in a firm, resolute manner, he starts off down the steps of the veranda, roughly following the worn, leaf littered path up to his letter box. By the time he gets there’s he’s panting heavily, we can hear him rasping even over the whispering trees.

He opens the box with a key and it springs apart with a neat ‘click’. There’s nothing inside. He’s still for a moment, then he collapses to the ground, wheezing and coughing. We watch him scrunch his face into an even wrinklier ball than usual, and with a grunt try to push himself up on his stick. Defeated, he falls back to the floor with a slump.

We’re speechless. In all our hours of watching Mr Grimshaw, we’ve never seen him like this. I’m not sure who makes the first move, but soon we’re all sliding down the tree trunk and rushing over to help him. Between the three of us, we manage to lift him up and get him on his feet. His arms seem so frail, and he’s as light as the breeze itself.

“Thank you for your assistance, kind gentlemen”, he says, still panting slightly. “Would you care to pop in for a spot of tea? It’s been so long since I’ve had any company.”

Silently, we nod and the four of us walk into his house together.”

MARKING AND FEEDBACK

There are a few reasons why this piece would receive a high grade, I’ll give you a breakdown of the main techniques that were used below:

• 5 types of imagery — visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, tactile
• A range of poetic devices — simile, metaphor, repetition, alliteration, symbolism, motif, specific and unusual vocabulary choices, extended descriptions and more
• A control over structural devices — range of punctuation, mixture of prose and dialogue, clear pacing (short and long sentences), range of paragraph lengths, capitalised words
• Developed control over tone (a shift in tone as the piece develops), style, setting and characterisation
• A clear shape to the description, including shifts of focus, without the piece feeling like a full story or narrative
• A sense of deeper themes and ideas, as well as a clear thematic statement — don’t judge others or mock them if you don’t know them well, they may need your help instead

Check related articles on the links below:

How to get top marks in English Language Paper 1, Section A

AQA GCSE English Language Paper 1, Question 4

Thanks for reading! If you’re looking for more help with AQA Language Paper 1, you can see our full course here .

This online course will give you a  question  by  question  breakdown of the exam, plus  high level example answers .

Enroll today  for access to comprehensive   PDF study guides that will   help you to  improve your grades.

You will receive:, – paper 1 overview, – section by section guides, – example answers.

Until September 30th, the course is available at a 25% discount , just use the code ‘ PAPER1′ at checkout!

Buy the complete course now!

Related posts.

The Theme of Morality in To Kill A Mockingbird

Unseen Poetry Exam Practice – Spring

To Kill A Mockingbird Essay Writing – PEE Breakdown

Unseen Poetry Exam Practice: The Man He Killed

An Inspector Calls – Official AQA Exam Questions

How to Get Started with Narrative Writing

What do I need to do for AQA Language Paper 2?

How to do well in the AQA GCSE Paper 2 Exam!

How to Write a Perfect Essay on The Crucible by Arthur Miller

AQA Power and Conflict: Example A* / L9 Grade Paragraph

© Copyright Scrbbly 2022

Descriptive Writing

Writing to describe.

Vividly describe a person, object, event or experience. The reader should feel as if they have entered the writer’s world and imagination.

Do not get this confused with writing a story with a plot! With descriptive writing there is no movement in time.

You are painting a snapshot with your words. The reader cannot see what you can, therefore, you need to entice their five senses. Make the image tangible for them. Use different colours and strokes in your artwork; these will be your stimulating nouns and adjectives. Grab the attention of the viewer and hold it, as you manoeuvre through your piece.

See yourself as a tour guide, moving an audience physically and emotionally around a motionless photograph. There are no time elements or a particular logical approach, as to where to begin or end. You are in control.

Take them where you wish but continually ask yourself:

• Why am I taking them here?
• Why have I chosen to use this particular time?

Example Question

Sometimes you are given an image to act as a stimulus:

For example, an image of an ocean, it will most definitely contain a variety of fish.

Alternatively, you may be given a statement:

For example:

• Describe a time when you were confined.
• Write a description of a teenager leaving home.
• Write a description of a new-born baby.

Planning an Effective Response

If an image is given to you, during your exam, then you are given a handy head start and you can proceed to planning.

Annotate the image, squeezing out as much detail as possible. Do not limit yourself to just the obvious details. Dig deeper, what else could you presume would feature in this scene? Could something significant be happening outside of the snapshot? Make sure that you do not make wild assumptions and detract from the true essence of the picture.

If are not given an image to support this question, you have to work a little harder but you are now free from restrictions. What appropriate image can you draw on for inspiration?

Keep it minimal and something that can be imagined by all, otherwise, you will overwhelm your reader if there is information overload. Image in mind, make some brief notes or even a sketch so that you can physically see your imagination on paper.

Aim to take your reader on a journey. Remember, the order or presentation if totally up to you. Be clear on your order, before you begin writing anything.

• Where will you begin? Why?
• Where do you want them to go? Why?
• What do you want them to learn? Why?
• What small detail do you want them to see as significant?
• Where do you want them to end? Why?

Maybe you might like to think of it this way, if this were a silent movie, which camera angles would you use?

You could start from a wide angle and then zoom in to a significant detail. In reverse, you could start with a small detail and zoom out to reveal the greater context.

The route you take and the details you highlight should reflect conscious crafting.

AQA English Language Paper 1 Question 5: Descriptive Writing

• International
• Schools directory
• Resources Jobs Schools directory News Search

Descriptive Writing - English Language Paper 1 Question 5

Subject: English

Age range: 14-16

Resource type: Worksheet/Activity

Last updated

2 April 2024

• Share through email
• Share through twitter
• Share through linkedin
• Share through facebook
• Share through pinterest

A series of images with a fun spinner to get students using a variety of writing skills:

• 2 pair sentence
• 3 bad - question?
• personification etc.

It explores a wide variety of images to ensure students are exposed to as many as possible. It also includes some challenge vocabulary to push students.

The spinner makes it a fun and engaging task to do on mini-white boards.

Great as a starter, plenary or whenever you have 5mins as revision for P1 Q5.

Tes paid licence How can I reuse this?

Your rating is required to reflect your happiness.

It's good to leave some feedback.

Something went wrong, please try again later.

This resource hasn't been reviewed yet

To ensure quality for our reviews, only customers who have purchased this resource can review it

Report this resource to let us know if it violates our terms and conditions. Our customer service team will review your report and will be in touch.

Not quite what you were looking for? Search by keyword to find the right resource: