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Searching For Meaning In 50,000 Essays About Modern Love

Dan Jones tackes the intricacies of love in book, Love Illuminated

“This is not rehearsed,” Dan Jones says into a microphone.

He’s standing in front of packed crowd in a small auditorium at the Santa Monica Public Library in Los Angeles. The group of 100 or so –which looks to have no shortage of New Yorkers in addition to locals – sucks on Sweet Tart candies; we’ve all been gifted with a pack, along with a Valentine’s Day card, as we made our way through the doors.

Jones, 51, is here to talk about his book, Love Illuminated , which takes on the least rehearsable subject of all (love). He is something of an expert (if anyone can be) having read 50,000 essays on the topic as the editor of the popular New York Times Modern Love column. Yet even after a decade immersed in tales of the heart, Jones isn’t here to offer advice (or answers) about what he calls “life’s most mystifying subject.” He is here to add an editor’s touch — and a wry sense of humor — to other people’s stories.

The book, like the weekly column, is not about Jones. And so instead of talking about himself up on stage, he calls up 12 members of the audience. Each is a one-time Modern Love essayist, and each has prepared a flash reading.

Hope, a writing instructor, explains that the ancient Greeks had eight different words for eight different kinds of love. “So why do we, caretakers of the planet’s international language” she asks, “expect a single generic monosyllabic word to carry so much weight?”

“What I’ll never understand about love,” explains Liz, an architecture professor, “is just how much of my experience of it happens against my will.”

Each of these presenters has written for the popular series: about maternal love, about looking for signs, about marital finance, about a health scare that turned out to be a blessing, about dating (and remarrying) after a divorce. There are at least 20 others in the crowd who’ve also written essays.

“The book was an attempt to figure out what I knew,” says Jones. “I felt like I’d been doing this column for years and years, and it’s the kind of work that you get lost in. These essays are pouring in, you feel like you’re immersed in it, and I feel like I was more marinating in love than mastering it. I was sort of… stewing in it.”

The Modern Love column started ten years ago somewhat by accident. Jones is a novelist, as is his wife; the column was first offered to them as a couple, after essays each had written about their domestic lives caught the attention of an editor.

Nobody turns down an offer to create a column for the New York Times. And yet, “I can’t say we thought it was the best idea,” Jones says. Who was the audience? What would be too risqué? How did you fact check a column about love, anyway?

And yet the essays began piling up, submitted each week by the hundreds. In the beginning, Jones tried to save them all: clipping each published one out from the paper each week, and sliding it into a protective sleeve; he still has dusty stacks of them on a bookshelf by his side of the bed.

But overtime, the physical collection became too much. And, who needed it? The column had grown into a cultural phenomenon. The actress Maria Bello, who hosted Jones’ book party in Los Angeles, used the platform to come out about her female lover. Dennis Leary’s wife, the novelist Ann Leary, wrote about picking up tennis — and a rough patch in their marriage that lasted for years. There has been an attempt to make the column into a TV show (it lost out to a reality show about Sarah Palin’s daughter), albums inspired by it, and anthologies of essays published. And, of course, pouring out one’s heart onto the pages of the New York Times has become a kind of writer’s right of passage not just therapy on the page, but a launchpad for book deals, films, and even future relationships. (There have been at least 37 books spawned from the 465 essays that have run so far.)

Some of what Jones has learned isn’t all that surprising: People still find love by meeting in the flesh; some find it online. Some treat their search like a job, while others happen upon it by chance. Online matchmaking hasn’t made the quest for love any less fraught. And yes, those OK Cupid algorithms do sometimes suck. (He and his wife of 25 years signed up for a dating site to see if they’d get matched with each other. They didn’t.)

But there is a certain wisdom that comes from reading the essays of thousands of strangers. He’s observed how our notions of love have changed over time: there is less incentive to commit and marry than there used to be (especially for women); love has become more about romance than necessity. He notes that a huge number of us (73 percent, according to a 2011 Marist poll) still believe in destiny, and that many of us still go out of our way to look for meaning in otherwise clinical online interactions. He observes how technology – while making matchmaking more accessible – has also made us painstakingly detached. “Acting aloof,” he writes, “is so common these days that sincerity and vulnerability, for many, can start to feel disgusting and unnatural.” (The term “stalker,” he notes, has been watered down to the point where confessing that you really like someone might qualify.)

There are sections on “booty texting,” “sending d**k pix” and “hooking up.” He speaks about the changes to the column topics over time (transgender issues, gay marriage, hooking up), the stories that really touched him (a couple who stayed married after the husband underwent sexual reassignment surgery) and those that drew the most ire (a woman who admitted in print that she loved her husband more than her children).

He’s heard all sorts of “rules” for dating: when to make the big reveal about bisexuality, or an STD, or a divorce, or – in one guy’s case – a single testicle. While a subject like spanking, for example, may not have been suitable for the Grey Lady at the start, “any sense of taboo or self-censorship has vanished.”

As you might imagine, as an editor of a column about love, Jones is frequently asked what he’s learned. But he has no desire to play guru (or therapist). He doesn’t claim to have any particular wisdom, other than knowing a lot of intimate, absurd, funny, and poignant details about a lot of different people’s love lives.

At the Santa Monica library, he pulls out a stack of heart shaped red rubber bracelets – a gag gift he’ll hand out to his guests, for Valentine’s Day. He bends the rubber around his wrist and holds up his arm. “It actually looks not unlike a sunburnt ass on your wrist,” he laughs. But, he continues: “An overexposed private part is what the Modern Love column is all about.”

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First Lines of Rejected “Modern Love” Essays

By Zach Zimmerman

Crumpled up pieces of paper come together to form a heart.

Modern Love is a weekly column, a book, a podcast—and now, in its 16th year, a television show—about relationships, feelings, betrayals and revelations. — The Times.

My husband and I don’t text, we don’t talk, we don’t live together, I don’t know where he lives (I have my guesses), and we’ve never been more in modern love.

The vows wrote themselves, pouring from my ballpoint pen like milk being poured from a gallon of milk.

At the top of Machu Picchu, as the woman I would one day call my wife vomited up the engagement ring I’d hidden in her Nalgene, I caught a glimpse of God’s plan.

I asked Sally to watch “When Harry Met Sally” with me on our third date. My name isn’t Harry—it’s Henry—but it would have been very cool if it were Harry.

It felt right when I swiped right, but when he left I wished that I had swiped in the other direction (left).

The charcuterie board was covered with meats, cheeses, and a dog-eared letter from my late great-grandfather.

First, he stole my identity. Then he stole my heart.

In this “Modern Love” essay, I will argue that, although my ex cheated on me with my best friend, I share blame for the demise of our relationship, insofar as I could not successfully articulate my emotional wants, needs, and feelings in a concise, productive way during the relationship.

When I met Sally, I asked if she’d seen “When Harry Met Sally.” She had. I hadn’t. My name is Brian.

“What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me,” Haddaway sang over the hospital loudspeakers as a baby named Haddaway hurt me during a scheduled C-section.

I’m Christian. My husband is Jewish. We’re getting a Buddhist divorce.

Of all the Etsy shops in all the towns in all the world, she bought used baby shoes from mine.

I called No. 54 at the D.M.V. where I work. The next day, No. 54 called my number.

Men always ask me to watch “When Harry Met Sally” because my name is Sally, but they’re never named Harry, so they’re not as clever as they think.

Everything on my wedding day was picture perfect—it’s how I knew that something was horribly wrong.

Love is like a box of chocolates, in that I like both of those things.

In rural Alabama, where coyotes holler and jug bands play, “I love you”s are rarer than routine medical care.

The dick pic looked familiar, as if I’d seen it in a dream; then it dawned on me that it was a picture of my own penis.

When you realize you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible, Sally.

I didn’t know love until I gave birth and fell in modern love with the obstetrician. ♦

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Layla Kinjawi Faraj Wins Modern Love College Essay Contest

Layla Kinjawi Faraj’s essay “ My Plea for a Sixth Love Language ” is the winner of the 2022 Modern Love College Essay Contest .

Ms. Faraj’s essay about how to make a home out of the internet was chosen from hundreds of moving submissions that spoke to these unprecedented times, submitted by students from colleges and universities nationwide. Ms. Faraj, a first-year student at Barnard College, will receive $1,000.

In addition to publishing her winning essay ( online now and in print on May 8), The Times will publish the essays of seven finalists throughout May and June.

On the contest and winning essay, Daniel Jones , editor of Modern Love , says:

“The surprise for me this year was how absent the typical college experience was from most of the entries — which shouldn’t have been a surprise at all. But given all the challenges students have faced these past few years, we judges were so impressed by the sophistication and emotional depth they brought to their essays.”

Miya Lee , editor of Modern Love projects, says:

“Places of higher education are frequently and, I think, aptly described as ivory towers removed from the world and its worries. While college education remains an immense privilege in the United States, this year’s entries proved that nothing is impermeable; nothing is truly separate from the wider world. This year, students expressed a keen awareness of the existential issues facing their generation (climate change, war), as well as a hopeful resolve to find joy, love and a way forward.”

The New York Times 2022 Modern Love College Essay Contest Results

Layla Kinjawi Faraj, Barnard College, Class 2025

Lily Goldberg, Williams College, Class of 2022

August Singer, Reed College, Class of 2022

Joyce Juhee Chung, New York University, Class of 2023

Abby Comey, College of William and Mary, Class of 2022

Ife Olatona, Howard University, Class of 2024

Tatiana Jackson-Saitz, University of Chicago, Class of 2024

Kyleigh McPeek, Stanford University, Class of 2024

Learn more about this year’s Modern Love College Essay Contest here .

Explore Further

Jordana narin wins modern love college essay contest, malcolm conner of trinity university wins modern love college essay contest, modern love essay contest invites college students to submit personal stories on love.

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new york times essays modern love

As a self-professed mega-fan of rom-com novels and films, I was thrilled when Amazon announced their upcoming Modern Love TV series , based on the long-running New York Times Modern Love column . Premiering on Oct. 18, the series boasts a star-studded cast (Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, Dev Patel and Andrew Scott are just four of the show's featured actors) and will feature eight anthology-style episodes about love in all of its many forms — romantic, familial, platonic, sexual, and for oneself. Whether you're a long-time reader of Modern Love or are just discovering the column, now is the perfect time to catch up on some of the greatest essays before the show premieres.

In the revised and updated version of the Modern Love book (first published in 2007) editor Daniel Jones compiled 42 of the columns best essays. In his introduction to the book, Jones writes:

"I suppose if we are going to try to define what a love story is, we should begin by defining what love is, but that can be even more slippery. Our definitions of love, too, tend toward the flowery treatment. From where I sit, however -- as someone who has read, skimmed, or otherwise digested some one hundred thousand love stories over the past fifteen years -- love, at its best, is more of a wheelbarrow than a rose: gritty, and messy but also durable. Yet still hard to put into words."

'Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption' Edited by Daniel Jones

Below are seven of my favorite of the 42 essays that appear in the Modern Love book, a great refresher for seasoned readers and a perfect precursor to the series for new fans, too:

'You Might Want to Marry My Husband' by Amy Krouse Rosenthal

In this March 2017 column (published just 10 days before she died of ovarian cancer at age 51) author Amy Krouse Rosenthal wrote a moving letter to her husband, Jason Rosenthal, in the hopes of finding him a new partner:

"Here is the kind of man Jason is: He showed up at our first pregnancy ultrasound with flowers. This is a man, who, because he is always up early, surprises me every Sunday morning by making some kind of oddball smiley face out of items near the coffee pot: a spoon, a mug, a banana. This is a main who emerges from the minimart or gas station and says, 'Give me your palm.' And voila, a colorful gum ball appears. (He knows I love all the flavors but white.) My guess is you know enough about him now. So let's swipe right."

Read "You Might Want To Marry My Husband."

'The Race Grows Sweeter Near Its Final Lap' by Eve Pell

Although Eve Pell's Jan. 2013 essay has not been officially confirmed as part of the Modern Love series, clues from the trailer highly suggest its inclusion. In it, Pell wrote of her late-in-life marriage to a Japanese American widower named Sam:

"Old love is different. In our 70s and 80s, we had been through enough of life’s ups and downs to know who we were, and we had learned to compromise. We knew something about death because we had seen loved ones die. The finish line was drawing closer. Why not have one last blossoming of the heart?"

Read "The Race Grows Sweeter In Its Final Lap."

'When Eve and Eve Bit the Apple' by Kristen Scharold

In this Nov. 2016 essay, writer Kristen Scharold wrote about coming out as queer and leaving her Evangelical church when she meets and falls in love with a woman named Jess:

"I felt my cramped religious framework of false dichotomies and moral starkness beginning to collapse. What once seemed like a bleak choice between losing my soul or losing my most cherished friend was in fact a lesson that true love is the only thing that could save me."

Read "When Eve and Eve Bit The Apple."

'When the Doorman is Your Main Man' by Julie Margaret Hogben

Hogben's Oct. 2015 essay (also seemingly included in the Modern Love series trailer) focused on the unique friendship she shares with her doorman, Guzim, and how his support helped her embark on the journey of single motherhood with courage:

"I became fodder for gossip: Who was the father? Did I dump him, or did he dump me? Valid questions, sometimes asked to my face, sometimes not. But down in the lobby, Guzim was there with no dog in the race. I wasn’t his daughter, sister or ex. I wasn’t his employee or boss. Our social circles didn’t overlap. Six days a week, he stood downstairs, detached but also caring enough to be the perfect friend, neither worried nor pitying."

Read "When The Doorman Is Your Main Man."

'Rallying to Keep the Game Alive' by Ann Leary

Leary's Sept. 2013 essay about the almost-end and subsequent reunification of her marriage to actor Denis Leary is a moving look at a modern marriage (and another essay that, though currently unconfirmed, also seems to be included in the Modern Love trailer.) She wrote:

"When we met, I was 20, he 25. We were too young and inexperienced to know that people don’t change who they are, only how they play and work with others. Our basic problem was, and is, that we are almost identical — in looks, attitudes and psychological makeup. Two Leos who love children and animals, and are intensely emotional and highly sensitive and competitive with everybody, but especially with each other."

Read "Rallying To Keep The Game Alive."

'Now I Need a Place to Hide Away' by Ann Hood

In her Feb. 2017 column, author Ann Hood wrote about The Beatles fandom she shared with her young daughter, Grace, who died suddenly of complications from a virulent form of strep when she was just five years old:

"It is difficult to hide from the Beatles. After all these years they are still regularly in the news. Their songs play on oldies stations, countdowns and best-ofs. There is always some Beatles anniversary: the first No. 1 song, the first time in the United States, a birthday, an anniversary, a milestone, a Broadway show. But hide from the Beatles I must. Or, in some cases, escape."

Read "Now I Need A Place To Hide Away."

'Take Me As I Am, Whoever I Am' by Terri Cheney

Terri Cheney's Jan. 2008 essay, which has been confirmed as the inspiration behind the episode of the Modern Love series starring Anne Hathaway, is about the author's experience with rapid-cycling bipolar disorder and how it affected her dating life. Cheney wrote:

"In love there’s no hiding: You have to let someone know who you are, but I didn’t have a clue who I was from one moment to the next. When dating me, you might go to bed with Madame Bovary and wake up with Hester Prynne. Worst of all, my manic, charming self was constantly putting me into situations that my down self couldn’t handle."

Read "Take Me As I Am, Whoever I Am."

This article was originally published on Sep. 12, 2019

new york times essays modern love

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Two men use their arms to form a heart-shaped pose together. A third man squats in the center of the heart, smiles and raises his iPhone.

They Set Out to Find the Truth About Love. They Found Many.

“Excuse me, are you two a couple?” The Times hit the streets with the team behind Meet Cutes NYC, which captures microportraits of modern love.

From left, Victor Lee, Aaron Feinberg and Jeremy Bernstein run Meet Cutes NYC, which shares love stories from the streets of New York on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. Credit... Calla Kessler for The New York Times

Supported by

By Stefano Montali

  • Feb. 14, 2024

On Spring Street in Lower Manhattan, tourists slide in line for a “cronut.” A group of 20-somethings play pickleball on a court nearby. Along the sidewalk, couples stroll hand in hand, squinting in the sun on an abnormally warm winter morning.

Out and about, too, are thousands of creators on the hunt for content. One team in particular, however, takes the (wedding) cake for most likely to capture your heart.

Jeremy Bernstein, Victor Lee and Aaron Feinberg run Meet Cutes NYC, which publishes microportraits of modern love on TikTok , Instagram , Facebook and YouTube . Each video begins with Mr. Bernstein asking, “Excuse me, are you two a couple?” as the team approaches a pair of unsuspecting sweethearts with their camera. “Would you mind telling me the story of how you first met?”

The romantic tales that follow offer a glimpse into love’s funny, and sometimes unpredictable, way of playing out: blind dates, first sights, second chances, airplanes, arranged marriages, May-Decembers, baseball games, book clubs, punk shows, past lives, summer nights, summer camps, sign language, funerals, dorm rooms, discos, dating apps, DMs, carwashes, karaoke, subways, sunsets, butterflies, pizzas, ice cream.

Three men stand outside in front of a couple. One man is carrying is holding his phone, another has his hands clasped in front of him, and a third is smiling at the pair.

The trio of 29-year-olds were not always romanticists, nor were they very active on social media. That changed when Mr. Lee and Mr. Feinberg, who met as children in Port Washington, N.Y., linked up with Mr. Bernstein, a friend from Mr. Feinberg’s childhood on the Upper West Side. Mr. Lee — who had the initial idea — was inspired by couples from his own life as well as his appreciation of man-on-the-street interviews.

In February 2023, they shared their first video , and now, a year later, they have 3.7 million followers — including Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Garner and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez — across platforms, with viewers from countries as far as Nepal, Saudi Arabia and Australia.

On a recent Saturday morning, I joined Meet Cutes NYC as they interviewed couples on the street. We met at Ground Support, a cafe in SoHo, and after introductions, the trio set up on the sidewalk outside. “We like couples with coffee,” Mr. Bernstein said. “They’re more likely to say yes.”

photo

Calla Kessler for The New York Times

The team behind Meet Cutes NYC scout for couples on the streets of Lower Manhattan.

Lots of “noes” are often expected when approaching couples...

but Antonia and Eddie Renteria agreed to stop and share their story with the group.

I had been warned to expect a lot of noes over the course of the session (and that it could be tricky at times to tell if two people were actually together). But the first three couples to pass by agreed to do the interview. “That’s not how it usually goes,” said Mr. Bernstein, who now considers talking to random people second nature. He had spent the last four years selling renewable energy on the street behind a folding table.

In the project’s initial months, the three friends often dashed out of work during lunch breaks and on weekends to film videos. “We got a tip that we should post once a day” to maximize online engagement, Mr. Feinberg said, “so we tried to stick to that.”

Eventually, Mr. Lee and Mr. Bernstein transitioned to full-time content creation for Meet Cutes NYC. These days, they film about five times per week, sometimes as a trio, sometimes as a pair. And sometimes it’s just Mr. Bernstein, who has earned a bit of a reputation as the sole voice heard behind the camera. Passing by the group, a woman shouted: “Your voice is iconic!” Mr. Feinberg turned to me, smiling, and said, “He actually won ‘most distinctive voice’ in his high school yearbook.”

In each video, Mr. Bernstein tends to stick to a set of questions: How did you first meet? What’s your favorite thing about your partner? What’s the secret to X years together? Before settling on these, Mr. Feinberg said, they tried several different constellations of questions: “We even used to ask people’s star signs!”

That day in SoHo, Mr. Feinberg stopped midsentence several times, his eyes fixated on a potential couple, often across the street. “Funky hair” or “cool outfit,” he would say before dashing in between cars idling at a stoplight and calling out for Mr. Bernstein to meet him down the block. (“We always say we’re going to get hit by a car one day,” Mr. Lee said, laughing.)

Even after hours of interviews, only a few clips from each session are deemed fit for posting, Mr. Feinberg said. The natural hubbub of city streets — such as an ambulance’s sudden blaring siren — can instantly render an entire interview useless. “You become pretty sensitive to noise doing this job,” Mr. Lee said, as a saxophone wailed across the street.

The trio films a majority of their videos in Manhattan or Brooklyn, though in November, they traveled together to the United Kingdom. “Londoners were much harder to stop,” Mr. Lee said. “So many couples had met in a pub that we had to make a compilation of them .” They have also filmed in Spain in October and South Florida in December, and hope to make trips to other countries with many English speakers like India, Ghana and Singapore.

photo

Mr. Lee — who had the initial idea — linked up with Mr. Bernstein and Mr. Feinberg and shared their first video last February.

These days, they film about five times per week.

Jeffrey Williams, left, and Jordan Kiziuk stopped to share their story with the group.

Once shooting is complete, each team member independently sifts through the past week’s recordings (a Google Drive holds over 1,000 interviews) and then they meet on Zoom to present their favorites. If at least two of them agree to feature a certain couple, the final version is scheduled for posting.

The three work cohesively as a team, though Mr. Feinberg admits that there is a fourth, unofficial member who plays a role, too. “My mom gives me daily updates on what’s happening in the comments,” he said, smiling and showing a series of paragraph-long texts.

While they are grateful for all of the positive feedback they receive from viewers, a few responses, in particular, have emphasized how the impact of their work can transcend the online world into the real one. “One time,” Mr. Feinberg said, “a woman messaged us and explained that through watching our videos, she realized that she was in an abusive relationship and that what was happening wasn’t the norm.”

To end the day, I asked the guys, who all have romantic partners, if hearing stories about couples of all ages and in all stages has translated to any changes in their own relationships.

Mr. Lee, who has been with his partner for five years, said that the most useful advice often doesn’t focus on how to find love, but how to keep it. “It’s easy to fall into a routine and just sit on the couch,” he said. “So it’s important to never stop dating your partner.”

“There’s not one direct line to love,” Mr. Feinberg added. “Everyone needs something different from their partner.” And Mr. Bernstein echoed the sentiment: “We’ve seen open arrangements, long-distance relationships and everything in between.”

“In other words, there’s no one way a relationship should look,” he said. As one watches the spectrum of stories on Meet Cutes NYC, it’s quite obvious that this, like love, is true.

A Guide to Better Romantic Relationships

Looking to build a long-lasting partnership we can help..

Overwhelmed by dating apps, profiles and not-quite-matches? Here’s how to start fresh .

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Do you worry that you and your partner are growing apart? Here are simple but helpful questions to ask before it is too late .

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Why Collaboration Is Critical in Uncertain Times

  • Jenny Fernandez,
  • Kathryn Landis,

new york times essays modern love

Working together can catalyze innovation — even in risk-averse companies.

Recent research suggests that when resources become limited, many business leaders’ inclinations are to become risk-averse and protect their own interests, fostering a culture of conservatism and prioritizing stability over innovation. In such circumstances, the emphasis often shifts toward preserving existing assets, reducing expenditures, and maintaining the status quo, which can hinder the organization’s ability to adapt, pivot, and thrive in a competitive environment. However, it’s precisely during these challenging times that the untapped potential of collaboration can be a game-changer. If you’re a leader struggling with risk-taking, here are four strategies to make the mindset and behavior shifts to become more collaborative and unlock growth.

A client of ours — let’s call her Mary, a senior executive in the technology industry — faced significant challenges managing a large organization amid economic uncertainty. Both her company and industry were experiencing tough times, resulting in budget cuts and a hiring freeze. Moreover, she was tasked with exceeding her annual revenue goals to compensate for the underperformance of a struggling business line, which was beyond her direct control.

  • Jenny Fernandez , MBA, is an executive and team coach, Columbia and NYU faculty, and future of work and brand strategist. She works with senior leaders and their teams to become more collaborative, innovative, and resilient. Her work spans Fortune 500 companies, startups, and higher education. Jenny has been recognized by LinkedIn as a “Top Voice in Executive Coaching, Leadership Development, and Personal Branding” and was invited to join the prestigious Marshall Goldsmith’s 100 Coaches community. She is a Gen Z advocate. Connect with her on LinkedIn .
  • Kathryn Landis , MBA, is the founder and CEO of the global coaching and advisory firm Kathryn Landis Consulting, which helps senior leaders empower and inspire their teams, create a lasting positive impact, and become the best versions of themselves in work and life. She is an adjunct professor at New York University and a former leader at American Express and Automatic Data Processing. Connect with her on LinkedIn .
  • Julie Lee , PhD, is a clinical psychologist, NYU faculty, and a leading Gen Z employment and mental health strategist. Dr. Lee’s work spans Fortune 500 companies,  startups, and higher education institutions, including Harvard and Brown University. In her consulting work, Dr. Lee helps organizations to motivate and retain Gen Z professionals and coaches executives to lead with purpose and empathy. Connect with her on LinkedIn .

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  3. 2,000 Entries, 5 Winning Essays: Catch Up on the Modern Love College

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    Modern Love is a weekly column, a book, a podcast and a television show about relationships, feelings, betrayals and revelations. My Husband Is Two Years Older Than My Son Our 19-year age gap...

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    By The New York Times. Feb. 21, 2024, 10:32 a.m. ET. ... To find previous Modern Love essays, Tiny Love Stories and podcast episodes, visit our archive. Want more from Modern Love?

  3. How to Submit a Modern Love Essay

    We welcome essays that explore subjects such as adoption, polyamory, technology, race and friendship — anything that could reasonably fit under the heading "Modern Love." Ideally, essays...

  4. 'Modern Love Podcast': Un-Marry Me!

    For more audio journalism and storytelling, download New York Times Audio, a new iOS app available ... David Finch has published three Modern Love essays about how hard he has worked to be a good ...

  5. 25 Modern Love Essays to Read if You Want to Laugh ...

    1. No Sound, No Fury, No Marriage Brian Rea By Laura Pritchett After her peaceful marriage quietly dissolves, a woman comes to appreciate the vitality of conflict and confrontation. 2. Sometimes,...

  6. This Is Not the Relationship I Ordered

    Modern Love can be reached at [email protected]. To find previous Modern Love essays, Tiny Love Stories and podcast episodes, visit our archive . Want more from Modern Love?

  7. Tiny Love Stories: 'His Wife Invited Me Over'

    Modern Love in miniature, featuring reader-submitted stories of no more than 100 words. At the Hanoi orphanage, 4-month-old Leo would not meet my eye. Good! Leo's withdrawal suggested he was ...

  8. I Wrote This Essay, but Then Changed My Mind

    I Married My Subway Crush November 29, 2023 • 34:56 Our 34-Year Age Gap Didn't Matter, Until It Did November 22, 2023 • 25:22 Two Boys on Bikes, Falling in Love November 15, 2023 • 30:43 He Cared...

  9. The Winners of the 2022 Modern Love College Essay Contest

    WINNER Layla Kinjawi Faraj, Barnard College, Class of 2025, " My Plea for a Sixth Love Language " FINALISTS Lily Goldberg, Williams College, Class of 2022, " I Bet You Think These Songs Are About...

  10. ‎Modern Love: Author Read: Un-Marry Me! on Apple Podcasts

    Dave Finch reads his Modern Love essay, "On the Path to Empathy, Some Forks in the Road." To hear our conversation with Dave, listen to the episode: "Un-Marry Me!" ‎Show Modern Love, Ep Author Read: Un-Marry Me!

  11. How to Submit Modern Love Essays

    A book of many of the most popular columns, " Modern Love: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption ," which includes the essays featured in the Amazon streaming series, was published in...

  12. Searching For Meaning In 50,000 Essays About Modern Love

    Searching For Meaning In 50,000 Essays About Modern Love 7 minute read Dan Jones tackes the intricacies of love in his book, Love Illuminated Adrienne Bresnahan—Getty Images By Jessica...

  13. 'Modern Love' Starter Pack: 8 Of The Best NYT Essays On Love

    July 13, 2016 Isn't it a fantastic feeling when you stumble upon a column that makes you think, "I can't believe I survived without these stories in my life"? Ever since I read my first New...

  14. First Lines of Rejected "Modern Love" Essays

    First, he stole my identity. Then he stole my heart. In this "Modern Love" essay, I will argue that, although my ex cheated on me with my best friend, I share blame for the demise of our...

  15. Life Isn't Like the Movies (Even if You Write the Movies)

    In one, "It's Complicated," Meryl Streep has an affair with her ex-husband, Alec Baldwin. The affair never happened in real life but the repartee between Meryl and Alec, that familiar, fun ...

  16. Daniel Jones's "Modern Love" NYT Column Marks 15th Anniversary with

    The most popular, provocative, and unforgettable essays from the past fifteen years of Daniel Jones's New York Times "Modern Love" column are featured in the revised and updated, media tie-in edition of MODERN LOVE: True Stories of Love, Loss and Redemption, on sale from Broadway Books on October 1 (also available as a trade paperback). There are contributions from Andrew Rannells ...

  17. 'Modern Love Podcast': A Politics Reporter ...

    For more audio journalism and storytelling, download New York Times Audio, a new iOS app available for news subscribers. Modern Love February 21, 2024 • 25:21

  18. How to Get Published in NYT's Modern Love Column, From 5 Authors Who Did It

    Modern Love columns have a sort of formula. The crux of the piece usually appears in the first line. The author changes/transforms as part of their journey, the sort of "I-thought-this-but-learned-this" structure. The best columns use humor and evoke emotion. Tell a compelling story A great essay hooks you from the very first sentence.

  19. Tiny Love Stories: 'The Middle of a Post-Divorce Breakdown'

    Navigating Being Gay, on His Own. Ever since he was 3, my son knew what makeup I should wear and what clothes looked good on me. At 13, he put a four-page letter under my door, ran into his room ...

  20. Layla Kinjawi Faraj Wins Modern Love College Essay Contest

    The New York Times 2022 Modern Love College Essay Contest Results. WINNER. Layla Kinjawi Faraj, Barnard College, Class 2025. FINALISTS. Lily Goldberg, Williams College, Class of 2022. August Singer, Reed College, Class of 2022. Joyce Juhee Chung, New York University, Class of 2023.

  21. 16 'Modern Love' Columns Every Millennial Needs To Read

    If you're not familiar with the New York Times ' Modern Love column — a weekly essay series exploring the endless manifestations of human love and relationships: romantic, platonic,...

  22. Modern Love Column Submission Tips

    The editors of Modern Love are interested in receiving deeply personal essays about contemporary relationships, marriage, dating, parenthood — any subject that might reasonably fit under the...

  23. Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True Stories of Love, Loss, and

    Modern Love, Revised and Updated: True Stories of Love, Loss, and Redemption: Jones, Daniel, Rannells, Andrew, Waldman, Ayelet, Rosenthal, Amy Krouse, Chambers, Veronica, Copaken, Deborah, Korelitz, Jean Hanff, Ellis, Trey, Hood, Ann, Kahn, Howie, Hung, Mindy, Cheney, Terri, Leary, Ann, Smith, Larry: 9780593137048: Amazon.com: Books Books ›

  24. 7 'Modern Love' Essays To Read Before The TV Series Premieres

    As a self-professed mega-fan of rom-com novels and films, I was thrilled when Amazon announced their upcoming Modern Love TV series, based on the long-running New York Times Modern Love column ...

  25. Modern Love Column Submission Tips

    The New York Times Modern Love Column Submission Tips and Lessons Learned May 20, 2015 / Articles Marketing & Publishing / By Elisa Doucette Updated April 3, 2020 Ever wished you knew EXACTLY how to crawl into an editor's brain and figure out how to get to the top of their submissions pile?

  26. Meet Cutes NYC Captures Manhattan's Love Stories

    From left, Victor Lee, Aaron Feinberg and Jeremy Bernstein run Meet Cutes NYC, which shares love stories from the streets of New York on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.

  27. Why Collaboration Is Critical in Uncertain Times

    Jenny Fernandez, MBA, is an executive and team coach, Columbia and NYU faculty, and future of work and brand strategist.She works with senior leaders and their teams to become more collaborative ...