private high school application parent essay examples

How to Write an Awesome Private School Admission Essay

Sitting down to write the all-important private school admission essay — is there anything more stress-inducing than a blank document and a blinking cursor? 

Writing anything from scratch requires intensive energy, focus, and inspiration — and that pressure is heightened when the writing topic is turned inward. No wonder students (and parents) get overwhelmed when it’s time to complete the essay portion of a private school application!

Helping your child write their private school admission essay can be pretty nerve-wracking. However, it doesn’t have to be. 

The short essay questions included as part of most private school applications are meant to provide admissions professionals with a well-rounded picture of your child as a person and as a student. If written thoughtfully, this component of your child’s application can make them truly stand out. 

Below are our top tips for beating back writer’s block and crafting a private school admission essay that gets noticed. 

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Remember the essay audience.</span>

Although the essay is about your student, it’s FOR the private school admissions team. What will stand out to them? What will interest them? What will help them best understand your child and how they learn? Help your child craft an essay with these professionals in mind.

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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Answer the essay question asked.</span>

This may seem obvious; however, it’s very easy to steer off course when you get into a writing groove. Help your child refer back to the question and any associated instructions while they write. Remind them to try to stick to the word count, and make sure to answer all parts of the question. 

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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Portray personality.</span>

Private schools are admitting people, not numbers. Their goal is to create a diverse, copasetic community in which students grow and are challenged. Your child’s answers shouldn’t be cookie-cutter. The best essay question answers will showcase a student’s personality, quirks and all. 

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Demonstrate passions. </span>  

Private schools are seeking students with different interests and passions. If your child has a unique interest or personal pursuit, the essay can be a great place to explain what it means to them and why it drives their creativity. 

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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Provide a unique perspective. </span>  

Opinions are important. If your child believes in a cause or has a strong point-of-view on a topic, talk about why. By standing behind their convictions, your child will demonstrate their critical thinking and leadership capabilities. 

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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Paint a complete portrait. </span>   

Regardless of the essay question, you want your child’s essay to work seamlessly with the rest of their application and showcase them as a full, well-rounded student. If the application itself doesn’t allow you to bring your student’s true self to life, take that opportunity in the essay component.  

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Maintain proper essay structure. </span>  

Remember, the essay isn't solely an exercise to get to know your child; it's also an evaluation of their writing ability. Maintaining the proper essay structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion is essential.

Admission officers read a LOT of essays, so really work on hooking them with the intro. Have your child read feature magazine and news articles, as well as the opening paragraphs of books to see how professional authors engage their readers.

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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">Cut the clutter. </span>  

After your child writes their essay's first draft, make sure they spend time editing their ideas into a clear, concise answer. Help them proofread, check their grammar, and cut out any extra words or phrases that don’t support their answers. 

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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">Get/offer feedback. </span>  

Once your child’s essay is complete, it’s perfectly acceptable for them to ask someone else to read it. As a parent, point out areas where they have opportunities to strengthen an idea or fix a mistake. However, resist the urge to rewrite the essay in your own words. Again, your child’s own perspective is what matters! 

While the questions asked on private school applications may change, these essay-writing tips will help ensure that whatever story your child tells resonates with your dream school’s admissions team. For more essay tips, read Encouraging Your Child to Write a Self-Revealing Application Essay .

Encouraging Your Child to Write a Self-Revealing Application Essay

How to make a great impression in private school interviews, recommendation letters: who should you ask — and how, first-choice letters: do they help or hurt admission, the final countdown to application deadlines, 11 parent statement tips for private school applications.

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Personal Statements

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A personal statement is an essay that an applicant has to write when applying for private schools. There are prompts or questions that have to be answered within the specified word count. This is an opportunity for students to let admissions officers know more about them and demonstrate how they could be a good fit for the school. However, many students fail to achieve this goal because they are not able to write a good narrative that makes them stand out from the other applicants. 

Along with good grades, impressive test scores, and letters of recommendation, a well-written personal statement can make a big difference in private school admissions. Our educational consultants understand how the admissions process works for top-tier schools and what admissions officers are looking for. This guide will help keep your child from making common mistakes when writing personal statements and admissions essays.

• Be authentic and honest. Let your answers give admissions officers a glimpse into your personality and how you can be an asset to the school.
• Avoid generalizations. Be definite with your answers. Tell them why you are applying to a particular program and why you think you will be a good fit.
• Use specific examples to support your statements. Your personal experiences will be the best stories you can share that will prove how compatible you are.
• Avoid using cliches. Be creative in your narrative. Your goal is to engage the admissions officer to keep on reading until the end of your essay or personal statement. 

At Cardinal Education, our holistic approach to admissions lets us unravel your child’s potential and highlight their uniqueness to get the differentiation they need. Over the years, we have developed our own formula and strategies for writing admissions essays and personal statements that have helped numerous families get into the best schools.

For students who are not strong writers, we advise them to enroll in our Program in Writing and Reading . This program aims to make them active and curious readers to develop comprehension and widen their vocabulary and ultimately, unlock their writing ability. We teach them the fundamentals of writing so they can organize their thoughts and ideas and express them in writing.   

What should I include in a personal statement?

A personal statement should demonstrate a student’s passions and interests which are unique. Remember that what we are aiming for is differentiation so think about your child’s activities that are not common among other students. If your child is into painting, consider what makes the artwork unique and how it is being used to drive change in the community or inspire others.  

How long should a personal statement be?

Each school will have its own requirements but typically, student statements are 1000 to 3000 characters long or approximately 250 to 500 words. Admissions officers go through hundreds of personal statement essays so it is important to keep to the maximum requirement and make sure that the first statement piques their curiosity to continue reading until the last sentence. 

How do I write a personal statement?

When writing a personal statement, focus on the question and only write relevant responses. It is very easy to get carried away and veer off course but with the limited word count, your child might not be able to express the most ideas important ideas that admissions officers are interested in.  

Do I need personal statement help?

Yes, especially if you and your child are not very strong writers. Among all the other application requirements, the personal statement is one of the biggest factors that affect admission decisions so it must be written well enough that it creates impact and sticks to the minds of the admissions officers.  Contact us to learn more about our writing program. 

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Private School Application Essay Tips

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Applying to private school means completing an application, a process with many components. There are short answer questions, forms to fill out, teacher recommendations to collect, standardized tests to take, interviews that need to be scheduled, and an application essay that needs to be written. The essay, for some applicants, can be one of the most stressful parts of the application process. These eight private school application essay tips just might help you produce the best essay you've ever written, which could increase your chances of getting accepted at your dream school. 

1. Read the directions.

This seems obvious, but hear me out. Reading the directions carefully can help ensure that you accomplish the task at hand. While most directions will be straightforward, you never know if the school is going to ask you to address specific questions on the given topic. Some schools also require that you write more than one essay, and if you just assume you get to pick from the three options when you were actually supposed to write three short essays, well that is certainly a problem. Pay attention to word counts that might be given, too.

2. Be thoughtful in your writing sample.

Leading off from that last sentence of bullet one, pay attention to the requested word count, you need to be thoughtful in how you approach the assignment. Word counts are there for a reason. One, to make sure that you give enough detail to actually say something meaningful. Don't cram in a bunch of unnecessary words just to make it longer. 

Consider this essay prompt: Who is someone you admire and why?  If you simply say, "I admire my mom because she is great," what does that tell your reader? Nothing useful! Sure, you answered the question, but what thought went into the response? A minimum word count is going to make you actually put some more effort into the details. Make sure that as you write to reach the word count that you aren't just putting random words down that don't add to your essay. You need to actually put some effort into writing a good story - yes, you're telling a story in your essay. It should be interesting to read. 

Also, remember that writing to a specific word count doesn't mean that you should just stop when you hit the required 250 words either. Few schools will penalize you for going over or under a word count slightly  but don't obliterate the word count. Schools provide these as guidelines to get you to put in some effort to your work, but also prevent you from going overboard. No admission officer wants to read your 30-page memoir as part of your application, no matter how interesting it may be; honestly, they don't have the time. But, they do want a brief story that helps them get to know you as an applicant. 

3.  Write about something that matters to you.

Most private schools give you an option of essay writing prompts. Don't choose the one that you think you should choose; instead, opt for the writing prompt that most interests you. If you're invested in the topic, passionate about it even, then that will show through in your writing sample. This is your chance to show who you are as a person, share a meaningful experience, memory, dream or hobby, which can set you apart from the other applicants , and that's important. 

Admission committee members are going to read hundreds, if not thousands, of essays from prospective students. Put yourself in their shoes. Would you want to read the same type of essay over and over? Or would you hope to find an essay from a student that's a little different and tells a great story? The more interested you are in the topic, the more interesting your final product will be for the admission committee to read.  

4. Write Well.

This should be obvious, but it must be stated that this essay should be written well, using proper grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling. Know the difference between your and you're; its and it's; and there, their, and they're. Don't use slang, acronyms, or text-speak. 

5. Write. Edit/Revise. Read it Out Loud. Repeat. 

Don't settle on the first words you put down on paper (or type on your screen). Read your admission essay carefully, review it, think about it. Is it interesting? Does it flow well? Does it address the writing prompt and answer any questions that were asked? If you need to, make a checklist of things you need to accomplish with your essay and make sure when you review it that you're actually meeting each requirement. To ensure that your essay flows well, a great trick is to read it out loud, even to yourself. If you stumble while reading it out loud or struggle with what you're trying to get across, that's a sign that you need to revise. When you recite the essay, you should easily move from word to word, sentence to sentence, paragraph to paragraph. 

6. Get a Second Opinion.

Ask a friend, parent or teacher to read your essay and give an opinion. Ask them if it reflects you as a person accurately and if you truly completed the requirements on your checklist. Did you address the writing prompt and answer any questions that were asked? 

Also get a second opinion on the writing style and tone. Does it sound like you? The essay is your chance to showcase your own unique writing style, tone of voice, personality, and interests. If you write a stock essay that feels cookie cutter and overly formal in nature, the admission committee isn't going to get a clear idea of who you are as an applicant. Make sure the essay you write is genuine. 

7. Make sure the work is truly yours. 

Taking the lead from the last bullet, make sure your essay is genuine. This is extremely important. Teachers, parents, admission consultants, secondary school counselors, and friends can all weigh in on it, but the writing needs to be 100% yours. Advice, editing, and proofreading are all fine, but if someone else is crafting your sentences and thoughts for you, you're misleading the admission committee.

Believe it or not, if your application doesn't accurately reflect you as an individual, you can jeopardize your future at the school. If you apply using an essay you didn't write (and makes your writing skills look better than they actually are), the school will eventually find out. How? Because it's school, and you're eventually going to have to write an essay for your classes. Your teachers will quickly assess your writing abilities and if they don't line up with what you presented in your application, there will be an issue. The private school you've been accepted to may even dismiss you as a student if you're deemed to be dishonest and not capable of managing the academic expectations. 

Basically, applying under false pretenses and passing off someone else's work as yours is a major problem. Using someone else's writing is not only misleading but can also be considered plagiarism. Don't google sample admission essays and copy what someone else has done. Schools take plagiarism seriously, and starting off your application like this isn't going to help. 

8. Proofread.

Last but not least, proofread, proofread, proofread. Then have someone else proofread. The last thing you want to do is spend all this time and effort to create an awesome private school application essay and then discover that you misspelled a bunch of words or left out a word somewhere and ruin what could have been an awesome essay with some accidental mistakes. Don't just rely on spellcheck either. The computer recognizes both "that" and "than" as properly spelled words, but they certainly aren't interchangeable. 

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The Writing Sample

At some point in the admissions process, your child is going to have to write an essay, otherwise known as The Writing Sample. Don't be unduly fazed by this requirement. It is simply one more piece of the private school admissions puzzle. Interestingly enough, writing samples are often part of the admissions process for college and graduate school. Learning how to write well at a young age will benefit her in the future in a great many ways.

What is the Purpose of the Writing Sample?

Very simple, really. The school wants to determine how well your child can express herself in her writing. Many schools will split this part of the application into a series of questions. The Madeira School application , for example, asks her to answer five questions in Part 2. By the way, the candidate must complete Part 2 of Madeira's application. This is very important. The school wants to hear what your child has to say. Not what her uncle or father has to say. One thing you must never do, no matter how tempted, is to use the services of an essay-writing company such as EssayEdge . Most of the time, it isn't possible anyway because the two places where an essay is required are on the SSAT test itself and during the interview at the school. So, put that thought out of your mind right now. The school wants to hear what your child thinks, it wants to see how she writes and all in her own words, not somebody else's.

Practice Makes Perfect

The secret to writing effortlessly is to practice as much as you can. Encourage your child to keep a journal. Show her how to write a blog. Get her to write. Every day ideally. Show her how to model her writing after the best examples. Yes, that means that she needs to read great literature. As in books. Don't just watch the movie version. Get in the habit of setting aside time for reading. Make it an enjoyable experience with no distractions, such as your iPod or TV in the background. If you haven't bought a Kindle for her, do so. She'll take it everywhere with her and begin to read voraciously.

Tips for Writing

Your daughter is going to be nervous. Tell her not to fuss about grammar and syntax. If she has those skills, then she needs to use them. It's more important for her to express herself. The school wants to see and feel the real her, not some persona that she thinks they want to see. She is unique. Let that uniqueness shine. Remember: the writing sample or essay is merely one more piece of the admissions puzzle. But it is an important part of that puzzle. Give it some thought and preparation, and your child will be fine.

Some Practical Advice

Allison Clark makes an important point in How to Write a Private High School Application Essay Worth Reading when she states:

The biggest mistake students make when writing an essay is that they forget who their audience is. Your audience, be it a teacher, an administrator, or an admissions committee, has likely read hundreds if not thousands of students’ admissions essays. This means that you are going to have to do more than throw in a few SAT words to impress them. The key to writing an essay worth reading is writing an essay that has not been written before. It needs to be your own story, not the story you think they want to hear.

The question I have to write a high school admission essay, any tips? on Quora prompted a useful answer from Sophia V. Hegedus on the staff of the University of Minnesota School of Public Health:

A2A. I agree with the other writers here. Be yourself! Now- enough of the corny- you need to demonstrate how you will contribute to this school. Take a paper, and start brainstorming (or a whiteboard at school) all experiences, or stories where you demonstrated unique qualities of character. For example, perhaps you demonstrated leadership by helping another student in your class understand a tough concept. Maybe you are creative (this was what made me unique all through high school and college) and think of creative ways to approach problems (this is all encompassing doesn’t just have to be school). Maybe you represent a diverse body of people, and you demonstrate that in your interests. Just make sure that you are giving an argument, not a forceful, aggressive, or arrogant way, but a convincing way. Everything you write in the essay should answer the questions, make sure you follow directions! Perhaps make a flow chart- I used to laugh at flowcharts when I was in grade school I would roll my eyes and say “not this stuff again.” Then I got to college and wrote my senior thesis singularly generated from a complex flow chart-you don’t have to use the whole flow chart the purpose is to generate ideas and to make connections. In this case, you are making a flow chart that would answer all the questions by providing EXAMPLES. You do not just say that you a leader- you demonstrate you are a leader. The last crucial step is to have someone look over it and edit. Plan early and don’t wait till the last minute. You can also write for 15mn a day until it is finished- I did this in college and it works wonders. Best wishes! if(window['renderAD']){renderAD('tms-ad-4')} if(window['renderAD']){renderAD('tms-ad-5')} if(window['renderAD']){renderAD('tms-ad-6')}

Use the string "writing sample high school admissions" to filter out job and college applications writing sample links when you search online.

An Example of an essay

Here's an essay written by ChatGPT as a 15-year-old on the prompt "Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve."

From an early age, I was fortunate to receive a quality education that shaped my worldview and opened doors of opportunity. However, I couldn't ignore the harsh reality that countless children face daily, struggling to access basic education due to financial limitations, lack of resources, and societal barriers. Witnessing this injustice ignited a fire within me, compelling me to take action and be a catalyst for change.

Recognizing the magnitude of the problem, I resolved to contribute in whatever way I could. I started by reaching out to local nonprofit organizations that focused on educational initiatives for underprivileged children. By volunteering my time and skills, I aimed to provide support and create educational opportunities for those who needed them most.

Understanding that education is not merely about textbooks and classrooms, I realized the immense impact that words and storytelling can have on young minds. I organized storytelling sessions at community centers, where I shared inspiring tales of resilience, creativity, and determination. Through these stories, I aimed to instill a love for learning, ignite curiosity, and empower children to believe in their own potential.

I also encountered logistical challenges in my journey, such as limited access to educational materials and technology. To overcome these obstacles, I collaborated with like-minded individuals, leveraging the power of social media and crowdfunding platforms to raise awareness and gather resources. By connecting with people who shared my passion for education, I was able to bridge gaps and provide necessary tools for learning, including books, notebooks, and even digital devices.

Witnessing the transformative power of education on young minds, I became even more determined to expand my impact. I started organizing workshops and mentorship programs, connecting students with professionals from diverse fields. By exposing these children to a variety of career paths, I aimed to broaden their horizons and inspire them to dream big, regardless of their circumstances.

In the face of the educational inequality that plagues our society, I have chosen to be an agent of change. By tackling the problem of limited access to quality education, I strive to empower young minds and break the cycle of poverty and inequality. Through storytelling, resource mobilization, and mentorship, I believe we can create a brighter future where every child has the opportunity to fulfill their potential. Together, let us harness the power of words and education to solve this pressing problem and pave the way for a more equitable world.

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Source: ChatGPT

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Sample Student Essay for Private High School Admissions

Student essays are an important part of the private high school admissions process for students in New York City. While information like grades and test scores can help an admissions committee evaluate a student’s raw performance, essays are a key way for students to demonstrate their unique voice and personality. Treat student essays like mini interviews: they’re a chance to let admissions committees really get to know the student. 

We recommend starting student essay drafts as soon as possible (in the summer or early fall) to allow plenty of time for a thoughtful drafting process. One of the first steps to begin drafting essays is to identify the prompt(s) to write about. Students may have a variety of prompts to choose from, or they may be given a specific prompt. This depends on the student’s age (middle versus high school) and whether the school they’re applying to is an ISAAGNY member school or not. 

Here are several example essay prompts from the past: 

• Describe a family tradition and why it is meaningful or important to you. 
• What is a topic/skill that you learned about within the past year that was not assigned to you in school?
• What brings you joy? What activities, pursuits, or interests have made you happiest over the past few months or years, and why?
• What activity/interest or accomplishment are you most proud of and why?
• Tell us about a time you were brave. 

Regardless of prompt, we encourage students to write about a subject that genuinely interests them and feels rich and dynamic enough to write several paragraphs about. Essays are a way to show off creative writing skills, but make sure that essays present a consistent application narrative and a relatively consistent application of writing voice (across each essay, graded writing samples , etc.). 

When approaching the student essay writing process, reading a sample essay is one of the most helpful ways to begin brainstorming. Here’s a sample student essay for private high school admissions that effectively provides a window into the student’s passions and way of thinking. 

*Note that this is a fictional sample, not a real student essay. 

Sample Private High School Admissions Essay

Prompt: What is your favorite work of art (visual, written, musical, etc.)? Why is it meaningful to you?

“If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint,” is a famous quote by artist Edward Hopper that has always inspired me. I’m naturally drawn to Hopper’s distinctive style of concrete, representational scenes; he was a master at manipulating light to create striking contrast and focus. But I appreciate Hopper’s art for more than just aesthetic choices; I connect deeply to Hopper’s intent to communicate memories and feelings through art. As a budding artist myself, my goal is to inspire real nostalgia and emotion with my paintings, the same way that Hopper’s works do for me. 

For example, Hopper’s “House By The Railroad,” completed in 1925, brings back many memories for me. The painting depicts a grand Victorian home with railroad tracks nearly underneath it. Like many of Hopper’s works, the scene is inspired by Hopper’s hometown of Nyack, New York, which happens to be the same town my grandparents live in. Even just a quick glance at the painting reminds me of walking up to my grandparents home in the summertime to greet them standing on the large front porch. Their home was situated not far from railroad tracks in Nyack, similar to the house in the painting. Whenever I see the piece, I’m reminded of the happy memories I’ve created at my grandparents’ home: eating grilled cheese and tomato soup on the front porch with my grandmother, hearing the train to Manhattan go by in the distance, and other everyday pleasures. 

In fact, from an early age, my grandparents encouraged my interest in Hopper’s art. My grandfather brought me to Hopper’s childhood home, which has since been turned into a museum, for the first time when I was ten years old. I still remember feeling awed as a young girl just being in the home of such a renowned artist; we visited his childhood bedroom and the spaces that eventually became subjects of his artwork, and I was inspired to find artistic inspiration in my own immediate surroundings. 

That’s clearly what Hopper aimed to do. I love that so much of Edward Hopper’s art captures standard American life. While many of Hopper’s paintings are of everyday scenes (homes, bedrooms, and more), his use of light and positioning of human figures adds nostalgic character to even the most mundane of scenes. Hopper’s art can teach us that even day-to-day moments can be striking and noteworthy. 

I recently visited an exhibition on Edward Hopper at the Whitney Museum of American Art in Manhattan. Again, I found myself drawn to “House By The Railroad,” and other paintings that depict houses and restaurants and other run-of-the-mill spaces, made distinctive and beautiful with Hopper’s earnest, light-filled approach. Seeing Hopper’s art again in person brought back many memories and feelings for me, many of them from carefree days with my grandparents in Nyack. Someday, I hope to be able to evoke similar emotion through my own artwork.

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