101 Best Slam Book Questions for Friends

Being friendly and sociable is among the positive traits of Filipinos. We simply love spending time and getting to know people. For example, do you still remember your younger years, when you and your friends would pass around and answer a book containing lots of interesting questions? Yes, we’re talking about the slam book !

What’s your favorite color? Define “love.” Who’s your secret crush? These are just some of the slam book questions that made us “kilig” back then. But slam books are not just for kids and teens! Even today, adults and the “young at heart” still love answering questions, whether in printed books or online. And so, in this article, we have decided to compile some of the best slam book questions for you to answer!

Best Slam Book Questions

Table of Contents

What is a Slam Book?

A slam book is a notebook that is passed around among classmates or friends, usually in school. Each person is given a page and writes their name on it. Then, the other participants write comments, opinions, or observations about that person on their respective pages. Slam books can contain questions about personal interests, likes and dislikes, experiences, and other personal information. Slam books are famous among teenagers and were popularized in the 80s and 90s, but their variations continued to be in use in certain places.

101 Top Slam Book Questions for Friends and Adults

Here’s how a slam book works: a person answers a set of questions, then passes it on to the next person, and so on. Of course, along the way, everyone gets to read everybody else’s answers… That’s what makes slam books so exciting!

Below is a set of questions that you should definitely include in your slam book. You can copy and paste these questions, print them on paper, or share them online for your friends to answer. Some of these questions are funny, while some are quite serious. Some questions are trivial, while others can really make you think hard about life!

But most importantly… answering all of these question are so much fun!

A. Basic Information

Let’s start with the basics. These are not really “questions” but more like details that are usually written in “fill in the blanks” format. These include personal information such as name, age, gender, birthday, occupation, etc.

  • Hair Color:
  • Current Location:
  • Course/School: (for students)
  • Job/Workplace: (for adults)
  • Languages Spoken:
  • Motto in Life:

B. Hobbies and Favorites

Everybody loves talking about their favorites! From favorite colors to hobbies to books and movies, the following questions are often featured in slam books:

1. What is your favorite color combination? 2. What type(s) of food do you like? 3. What is your favorite drink? 4. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? 5. What is your favorite sport? 6. What are your hobbies or pastimes? 7. Who is your favorite cartoon character? 8. Do you have any collections? ( e.g. stamps, stickers, etc.) 9. What is your favorite childhood memory? 10. What is your favorite clothing brand? 11. What is your favorite cologne or perfume? 12. Who is your favorite band/musician? 13. Who is your favorite actor or actress? 14. What is your favorite style of dance? 15. What is your favorite expression? 16. Do you have pets? If no, what animal would you like for a pet? 17. What is your favorite place that you have visited? 18. What are six things that you are passionate about? 19. Name two teachers that you’ll never forget. 20. Name four books or movies that changed your life.

B. Relationship Questions

Ah… love. This is perhaps the most anticipated part of any slam book. This is where you get to answer questions about crushes, dates, and all that mushy stuff. Of course, this part may also include questions about friendships and relationships in general.

21. Who are your best friends? 22. What traits do you look for in a friend? 23. Describe yourself in three words. 24. Who was the last person you cried in front of? 25. Who is your crush? 26. What is your relationship status? ( e.g. single, in a relationship, etc.) 27. What kind of lover are you? ( e.g. hopeless romantic, heartbreaker, etc.) 28. What is the number one thing you look for in a partner? 29. Have you ever broken up with someone? 30. How many relationships have you had? 31. How would you describe the perfect date? 32. What is the most romantic place you’ve ever visited? 33. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not? 34. You’re stranded on an island. Who would you choose to be alone with?

C. “Right Now” Questions

As the term says, these are questions about things that a person is currently doing, or has just finished doing. The great thing about these questions is that you don’t really have to think hard… You just need to say what’s on your mind… right now!

35. Where were you yesterday? 36. What did you have for breakfast this morning? 37. Where do you want to be right now? 38. What’s the weather like in your place now? 39. What was the last show you watched on TV? 40. What song(s) is/are on your playlist now? 41. What was the last movie you saw? 42. Who was the last person you texted? 43. What does your last text message say? 44. What was the last thing you bought? 45. What is the bravest thing you’ve done this week? 46. What are you most excited about right now?

D. Dreams and Wishes

Everybody has dreams and aspirations, including “real” and “fantasy” ones. This part of the slam book features questions about people’s wishes, plans, hopes, and ambitions.

47. What did you want to be when you grow up? 48. If you could visit any city in the world, where would it be? Why? 49. What goals do you currently have in your career or education? 50. Describe your dream house. 51. If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? 52. What is the one thing you wish you could change about yourself? 53. If you could be a superhero for a day, who would it be? Why? 54. Is there a fictional character you wish existed in real life? Who? 55. What superpower would you like to have? ( e.g. invisibility, telekinesis) 56. If you were an author, what would be the title of your first book? 57. What advice would you give to your 15-year-old self? 58. What’s your biggest “what if” in life? 59. If you could meet one person, dead or alive, who would it be? 60. Where do you want to be in 10 years? 61. List 5 things in your “before I die” bucket list.

E. “Have You Ever” Questions?

Asking questions that begin with “have you ever” is usually the best way to learn about people’s past experiences… including “kilig” moments as well as memories that they’d rather forget!

62. Have you ever skipped school without permission? 63. Have you ever lied to a friend? About what? 64. Have you ever been on TV? 65. Have you ever stolen anything? Do share! 66. Have you ever lost your wallet? What did you do? 67. Have you ever fought somebody at school? 68. Have you ever fantasized about a friend’s girlfriend/boyfriend? 69. Have you ever had a poem or song written about you? 70. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? 71. Have you ever attempted a world record? 72. Have you ever had a rumor spread about you? What about? 73. Have you ever given a love letter to someone?

F. “Would You Rather” Questions

“Would you rather” questions are all about making choices. These questions compel people to choose… and their answers can reveal quite a lot about their personalities!

74. Would you rather have cupcakes or cookies? 75. Would you rather get up early or stay up late? 76. Would you rather swim at the beach or swimming pool? 77. Would you rather work in a group or work alone? 78. Would you rather have a cat or a dog for a pet? 79. Would you rather have more time or more money? 80. Would you rather be Superman or Spiderman? 81. Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? 82. Would you rather make a phone call or send a text? 83. Would you rather lose your vision or your hearing? 84. Would you rather live in Antarctica or the Sahara Dessert? 85. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life?

G. Random Questions

This part of the slam book serves as a “catch all” category for basically any kind of question you can think of! These include questions about trivial matters, hypothetical situations, personal experiences, and many other topics.

86. Do you smoke? Or drink? 87. What is your “lucky” number? 88. What is your biggest fear? 89. Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? 90. Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not? 91. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? 92. Talk about your most embarrassing moment. 93. What weird food combinations do you enjoy? 94. Do you think aliens exist? Why or why not? 95. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done on a dare? 96. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? 97. What is the biggest purchase that you have ever made? 98. What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? 99. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your “attractiveness”? 100. If you win the lottery, how would you spend the money? 101. If the world was going to end tomorrow, what will you do today?

Some Final Thoughts

No matter how young — or how old — you are, answering a slam book is always an enjoyable experience. Not only does it allow you to share your thoughts and opinions, but also compels you to think and reflect about life. So what are you waiting for? Go ahead, answer the above slam book questions, and don’t forget to share them with your friends!

Speaking of personal experiences, have you ever written a “lakbay sanaysay”? No? Check out this article so you can learn all about how to write a lakbay sanaysay or travel essay.

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Writing Skills Unlocked

How to Write a Slam Book for Friends | 5 Tips With Examples

Slam book is a great way to capture the essence of a friendship and preserve it for eternity.

As we grow up, we make new friends and part ways with old ones.

However, memories last forever, and creating a slam-book is one of the best ways to keep them alive.

It is a fun activity that brings friends together and allows them to express their thoughts and feelings.

If you plan to create a slambook for your friends, here are five best tips to help you get started.

Table of Contents

How to Write a Slam Book for Best Friend | 5 Best Tips

boy writing a slam book

Tip 1: Keep It Simple

When it comes to slam books, simplicity is vital.

You don’t want to overwhelm your friends with complicated questions and lengthy paragraphs.

Keep it short, sweet, and straightforward.

Ask questions that are easy to answer, such as their favorite color, food, movie, or book.

You can also include questions allowing your friends to express their thoughts and feelings, such as what they love most about your friendship or their favorite memory.

Example: “What is your favorite color, and why?

What is the one thing you love most about our friendship, and why?

What is your favorite memory of us, and why?”

Tip 2: Be Creative 

While simplicity is essential, you don’t want your slam book boring.

It can be made more exciting and engaging by adding a creative touch.

You can do this by adding fun graphics, pictures, or stickers.

You can also use different fonts, colors, or designs to make your slam book stand out.

Example:  Use different colored pens to write each question, add stickers that match the theme of your friendship, or include pictures of your favorite memories together.

Tip 3: Customize Your Questions

To make your slam book more personalized, customize your questions.

You can ask questions specific to your friendship or the person you are creating the slam book for.

This will make your slam book more meaningful and heartfelt.

Example: “What is the one thing you admire most about me?

What is the one thing you wish you could change about me?

What is the one thing that you have learned from our friendship?”

Tip 4: Provide Enough Space in the Slam Book

When creating a slam-book, you must provide enough space for your friends to answer each question.

You don’t want them to feel cramped or restricted when writing their responses.

Ensure that there is enough space for them to write their answers comfortably.

Example:  Leave ample space between each question, and ensure the lines are wide enough for your friends to write their answers.

Tip 5: Be Sincere in Your Slam Book

Lastly, be sincere when creating your slambooks.

This is an opportunity to express your feelings and thoughts to your friends.

Don’t hold back, and be honest with your answers.

Your friends will appreciate your sincerity and will cherish the book forever.

Example: “What do you think is my best quality, and why?

What is the one thing you would like to tell me but have not had the chance to?

What is the one thing you wish for me in the future?”

In conclusion, slam books are a great way to capture the essence of a friendship and preserve it for eternity.

By following these five tips, you can create a slam-book that is both meaningful and fun.

Remember to keep it simple, be creative, customize your questions, provide enough space, and, most importantly, be sincere. 

Your friends will appreciate your effort in creating their slam-book and will cherish it forever.

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How to Make a Slam Book

Last Updated: February 5, 2023 Approved

This article was co-authored by wikiHow Staff . Our trained team of editors and researchers validate articles for accuracy and comprehensiveness. wikiHow's Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article is backed by trusted research and meets our high quality standards. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, 90% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 241,323 times. Learn more...

Slam books mix together the concept of a journal and old-fashioned passing notes. They are books that people usually pass around school or groups of friends to learn more about each other. Keep them positive and fun!

Gathering Materials for Your Slam Book

Step 1 Buy a notebook...

  • The goal here is to use a book with a lot of blank pages because you will be passing it around for people to write in.
  • How many blank pages you need depends on how many people you want to pass it to and how many questions you want to ask them.

Step 2 Decorate the cover of the slam book.

  • Use stickers or marker to write the words “slam book” on the cover of the notebook or journal.
  • Some people also decorate their slam books with colorful stickers, glitter glue , and even fake gemstones. Use your artistic talents!
  • Keep the book closed by tying a ribbon or even a string of beads around the slam book.

Step 3 Include a teacher, parent, or other adult.

  • Explain the purpose of the slam book to the adult. Let them know that the point of a slam book is to be positive and that any negative “slams” are not allowed.
  • Ask the adults when you can circulate it. Maybe you will agree to only circulate it during recess, for example.
  • Consider including the adult in the circulation. It might be interesting to know your teacher’s favorite band or ice cream, for example. Why not?

Getting the Slam Book Ready

Step 1 Create a name page.

  • If you choose 10, write the numbers 1 to 10 on the name page. It depends if you are trying to keep the slam book among a small circle of friends or a larger one.
  • Have each of your friends pick a number and write their name next to that number.
  • Tell your friends to use that number when answering any questions you write in the slam book.

Step 2 Write a question at the top of each page.

  • Write questions that focus on someone’s likes/dislikes or non-embarrassing facts, such as their pet’s name or their favorite ice cream flavor.
  • Choose questions with short answers. You can also write statements that also provoke answers, such as “favorite music artist” or “last trip you took."

Step 3 Try not to be mean.

  • Don't allow mean comments about this person or that. That’s bullying, and bullying can cause serious damage to other people. [4] X Research source
  • Don’t use your slam book for rumors or negative statements about other people. When people get in trouble, it's usually because they went negative in some way.
  • A good rule of thumb is never to write something in a slam book about another person that will upset them or that would upset you if it was written about you.

Step 4 Put numbers on each of the question pages.

  • Sometimes there is confusion with slam books, but, usually, once the first few people do it, they tell others how it’s supposed to be done and word spreads.
  • So, if you have created, say, space for 25 names on the name page, you would create a numbered list from 1 through 25 on each question page too.

Passing the Slam Book Around

Step 1 Answer your own questions first.

  • You could also create a page toward the front of the page that says something like “how this works” and then explain what each person is supposed to do.
  • Include the instruction that when the final number on the name page list is taken, the book should be returned to you. People need to know who the slam book belongs to and where to return it or you may never see it again!

Step 2 Pass the slam book to a friend.

  • The friend should indicate they wrote the answers by writing #1 or #2 (if you filled out #1 already) and then their answer on each page.
  • Or, if you have already chosen to number each answer page, they should write their answer after their number.
  • Once your friend #1 answers the questions, they are supposed to pass the slam book to a second friend, who then answers the question on each page by writing #2 (or #3 if you were #1) and then his or her answer.

Step 3 Save the slam book.

  • For example, slam books have existed for decades, and some news sites think it’s entertaining to see what people were writing in slam books in the 1980s. [5] X Research source
  • It could be fun to do a new slam book every year. You could even note the year on the cover of the slam book. Let it become a ritual, and compare how people’s tastes change with new trends and as they age!

Community Q&A

Community Answer

  • Intercept your slam book now and then to make sure it hasn’t been taken over by bullying. Thanks Helpful 32 Not Helpful 6
  • It cannot be stated enough: Do not be mean in slam books. Thanks Helpful 27 Not Helpful 14
  • Cross out any comments that pick on individual people. Thanks Helpful 24 Not Helpful 15

slam book essay example

  • If this falls into the wrong hands, people could mess with you by screwing it up. Thanks Helpful 35 Not Helpful 5

Things You'll Need

  • A close friend or friends (or a friend you'd like to get closer to)
  • A composition notebook
  • Writing skills of at least an elementary level

You Might Also Like

slam book essay example

  • ↑ http://www.craftsuprint.com/projects/paper-craft/book-crafts/how-to-make-a-slam-book.cfm
  • ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0u8PvaczX4
  • ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OntNafjceEM
  • ↑ http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/12/10/AR2010121005373.html
  • ↑ http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/this-slam-book-says-everything-you-need-to-know-about-80s-te#.mqGW32d5L

About This Article

wikiHow Staff

To make a slam book, decorate the cover of a notebook or journal with stickers, markers, paint, or anything else you like. On the first page, have space for everyone who gets the book to write their names. At the top of the following pages, write a question at the top of each page, like “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” or “What are the names of your pets?” Everyone who gets the book should write down their answers on each page. Keep the questions positive, and ask people not to write anything mean or negative in your slam book. For tips on passing the book around, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Train a Bearded Dragon: 7 Steps

3 ways to find gold nuggets, how to play baseball darts: 7 steps, 11 ways to get rid of shin splints fast, easy ways to use hair paste: 11 steps, how to wear a romper: 9 steps, how to don tefillin: 13 steps, 3 ways to have fun with your siblings, 3 ways to enable javascript in mozilla firefox, how to check an iphone warranty: 9 steps, how to make a slam book: 10 steps.

slam book essay example

A slam book is a notebook filled with personal questions and answers about friends and acquaintances. The idea is to pass it around among your circle, allowing everyone to fill out their thoughts and opinions anonymously. Here’s how to create your very own slam book in just 10 steps:

1. Choose the perfect notebook: Find a notebook that suits your taste and preference. It could be plain or colorful, lined or unlined—anything that catches your eye.

2. Decorate the cover: Personalize the slam book by designing its cover. You can use stickers, paint, washi tape, or just doodle to create a unique look.

3. Create a table of contents: To keep things organized, make a table of contents at the beginning of the notebook. List out all the pages you want to include, such as friends’ pages or specific question sections.

4. Write instructions: On the first page, write clear instructions stating how the book works and your expectations for participation (anonymity rules, being respectful, etc.).

5. Devise engaging questions: Brainstorm a list of fun and intriguing questions for your friends to answer. Make sure they are open-ended and allow room for creativity and reflection.

6. Design the layout: Determine how you’d like each page to look in terms of question placement and design elements (text fonts, colors, etc.). Consider leaving ample space for longer answers or multiple participants’ entries on one page.

7. Execute the design: Using your chosen layout, create pages for each question in the slam book.

8. Prepare friends’ pages: Designate specific pages where your friends can leave their individual sentiments or messages about one another. Be sure not to assign names so that anonymity is preserved.

9. Introduce the slam book: Share your creation with friends and invite them to participate in filling it out. Encourage them to be open, honest, and respectful in their responses.

10. Enjoy the outcome: Collect your slam book after everyone has had a chance to respond. Read through the answers and enjoy learning new things about your friends and their thoughts on various subjects.

Remember that a slam book is meant to inspire fun and camaraderie among peers, so always encourage respectful and open-hearted participation. Happy slamming!

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FREE Poetry Worksheet Bundle! Perfect for National Poetry Month.

25 Slam Poetry Examples (Plus Explanation and History)

Exciting, interactive, and inspiring for all ages.

A Muslim girl and a Jewish girl reciting their composition at a poetry slam (Slam Poetry Examples)

Poetry has come a long way since Horatian odes and Shakespearean sonnets. While these types of poems can be a hard sell in the classroom, other forms might inspire a little more excitement. Our suggestion? Include slam poetry examples in your lesson plans! This unique performance art can really help you meet kids where they are and teach them that poetry is as relevant today as it was hundreds of years ago.

What is slam poetry?

This spoken-word performance art seeks to bring a new life and excitement to poetry. Poets perform their poems in front of audiences at competitive events called poetry slams. They do more than just read their poem—they turn it into a high-energy performance with movement, storytelling, and other theatrical elements. Authors may perform on their own or with a larger group.

Often, the poems used at these events are specifically written to be performed. The topics are diverse, frequently political, and thought-provoking. Slam poets want their audiences to feel an emotional response, whether positive or negative. Cheers and calls fill the room as the audience expresses their opinions, making the experience interactive for everyone.

Is slam poetry a poetry genre?

It’s worth noting that not everyone considers “slam poetry” to be a genre of its own. Founder Marc Kelly Smith once said, “There is no such thing as slam poetry. There is only the poetry slam.” In other words, any poem can be performed at a poetry slam without necessarily being specifically written as slam poetry.

That being said, this form of poetry has taken off in such a dynamic way that many sources now consider “slam poetry” to be its own genre . When using this term with students, you may want to share that any poem performed at a slam could be called “slam poetry,” but not everyone considers that term valid.

How did slam poetry start?

In the 1960s, beat poets like Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg introduced a new performance style that caught on with the younger crowd. In the 1980s, a man named Marc Kelly Smith took that concept and brought it a new audience. He was a Chicago poet who wanted shake up the stuffy, academic image of poetry, making it more accessible to everyone. The first National Poetry Slam took place in 1990, and the medium has remained popular ever since.

Why should I use slam poetry with my students?

If your kids roll their eyes when you embark on a poetry unit, try including slam poetry videos or performances in your curriculum. This genre really turns student expectations upside down! Here are a few reasons you should be teaching it:

  • Slam poetry is diverse and inclusive. Poetry slams draw people of all types, and students are more likely to see themselves represented.
  • The experience is interactive, for both poets and the audience. Kids often think of poetry as quiet and boring, and poetry slams are anything but!
  • It gives students a way to explore emotional and intense topics. Many poems performed at slams address political or social themes, encouraging students to tap into their emotions and consider others’ points of view.
  • Slam poetry engages multiple learning styles. Reading, writing, performance, storytelling, discussion, and more … it’s all here.
  • It’s fun! Seriously, this is like nothing kids have seen before.

The best way to understand a poetry slam is to see it in action. Check out the inspiring examples below to learn more. Note: Poems performed at slams often address heavy political or social topics. Always view videos in advance to make sure they’re appropriate for your audience.

Slam Poetry Examples by Kids and Teens

When your students tell you that only adults can write poems, prove them them wrong with these terrific examples of slam poetry by kids just like them. Some are on lighter subjects, terrific for introducing the concept to little ones. Others tackle the social injustices and political subjects that slam poetry is known for.

I Am a Poem!

Saverio doesn’t just love poems—he is a poem. His clever use of language and poetry terms reminds students that they can find themselves in any literature genre or style. They just have to look.

Soccer Is an Awesome Sport

Slam poetry truly comes to life when you hear it out loud. Riya’s simple poem about soccer abounds with energy through her delivery and excitement.

Here’s another example of how delivery sets slam poems apart from the rest. These young poets share their thoughts on cats in a way that will make you laugh … and make you think. They subvert expectations, which is what good art is all about.

Where I’m From

This brief but inspiring poem from 11-year-old Ruben captures one child’s life in a few short verses. This is a great way to encourage your students to write their own slam poem using the phrase “Where I’m From.”

Mathematical Blues

Here’s a topic so many kids can relate to: the challenges of math class. The rhyme and rhythm here are great, and the words sum up what lots of this young poet’s peers are thinking every day.

Notes to Beauty

Mel and Alana know that beauty comes in so many different forms, and their poem celebrates them all. Their pop culture references help kids connect with the topic, while their straightforward delivery draws the audience in from the start.

When you’re a teen, you think a lot about growing up. Sometimes you feel so much older and long for childhood. Other times, you feel so young, too young, and wish for more. Anthony’s slam poetry performance captures all these feelings in a way anyone can relate to.

Why Am I Not Good Enough?

Seventh grader Olivia wrote and performed this poem for a class project. Her central theme, “Why am I not good enough?” asks a universal question that so many teens grapple with every day.

Sixteen-year-old Chris Loos uses his slam performance to express what it feels like to live with ADHD, OCD, and other “mental disorders.” This powerful piece will speak directly to other students like him. Plus, it will open the minds of those who can’t imagine what it feels like to live this way every day.

Kids These Days

These kids are tired of being labeled, stereotyped, and overgeneralized, especially when it comes to their use of technology. Their performance celebrates the advantages they feel technology is giving their generation, and encourages adults to do the same.

“They tell me I’m not Mexican,” Leticia says. But her poem spells out all the ways she embraces and values her background and culture. Regardless of your students’ ethnicities, they’ll see themselves in this search for identity.

A Jewish Girl and a Muslim Girl

Amina and Hannah come from different religions and cultures, but their poem performance celebrates the common ground they share. It’s full of both despair and hope, making connections that unite them.

Somewhere in America

Anger, despair, and fear pour out through the words in this powerful performance. Belissa, Rhiannon, and Zariya ask important questions about American values with an intensity that draws in every viewer. This one is written and performed by kids, but it addresses adult-level topics.

All Lives Matter, but …

Like much slam poetry, Royce’s piece attacks a social and political subject: Black Lives Matter. Viewers feel his anger and fear through his words and his delivery.

Levi gave himself a black eye trying to do a somersault. For days, people told him he should make up a better story, like being in a bar fight. He uses his slam poetry performance to fight back against toxic masculinity. (Some PG-13 language.)

Slam Poetry Examples by Adults

These slam poems include award winners and those by famous poets. The topics are often challenging and the language intense, so some of these might be best saved for teens in high school lit classes.

Alexander Hamilton

OK, first things first: This isn’t exactly slam poetry. Slam poetry generally doesn’t include music made with instruments. But Lin-Manuel Miranda’s original performance of the opening number of the smash musical Hamilton was obviously inspired by the genre. Note that there’s very little singing—it’s all about the rhyme, rhythm, and flow of the words. You could remove the music, and the impact would be very much the same.

My Father’s Coat

Marc Kelly Smith is often considered the founder of the slam poetry movement. Watch him perform one of his most well-known poems, a thought-provoking piece about whether a father’s coat really fits his son.

Harry Baker’s slam poetry uses puns and humor to tell poignant stories. In this one, prime number 59 stops yearning after perfect 60 and falls in love with 61, a prime example of a love story.

What Kind of Asian Are You?

Alex Yang knows what it feels like to be lumped together, to have his individuality stripped away. He shares those feelings and experiences in this intense slam poetry performance.

Sarah Kay is a well-known poet, sometimes performing with her partner, Phil Kaye (no relation). In this work, she calls herself the most unreliable of narrators, noting that she constantly lies to herself. “I am the center of my own dramatic universe,” she notes. What teen can’t relate to that?

To This Day

Shane’s captivating poem about bullying took the world by storm. He edited his original TED Talk performance video to use in school talks. ( If you’d like to see the whole thing, find it here. )

Totally Like Whatever, You Know

Taylor Mali wonders when we stopped speaking with conviction and turned everything into a question. Your students will definitely recognize themselves in the speech patterns of this poem, and it might just change the way they think—and talk. (Mali is a former classroom teacher, by the way, and educators will connect with his poem What Teachers Make .)

My Honest Poem

What starts out as a list of facts turns into a deeper look at identity. Rudy Francisco’s poems are powerful but relatable, and many of them are great for the classroom.

Before he starts his poem, Nkosi Nkululeko has a few thoughts to share. And then a few more. And a few more after that …

Ode to Sister

If your students still aren’t sure about slam poetry, remind them about Brandon Leake, who ultimately won the 2020 season of America’s Got Talent with his incredible compositions. Here’s his initial audition, which even Simon Cowell couldn’t criticize.

Do poetry slams have rules?

Though different events may set their own rules, here are some of the common guidelines of poetry slams .

  • Any style of poetry is acceptable, but the author generally must be involved in performing their own poem.
  • There’s no need to memorize your poem, though many do. Poets are welcome to use notes on paper or in digital form.
  • Poem performances are usually limited to three minutes or less.
  • No props or costumes are allowed, although you may dress in a way that matches the theme or mood of your poem.
  • Performances cannot include pre-recorded music or sound effects or musical instruments. However, the performer is welcome to add their own sounds by beatboxing, singing, clapping, or using their body in other ways.

How are competitions judged?

Poetry slams are often judged competitions, each with its own rules. Usually a panel of judges is chosen in advance. They may be people with expertise in poetry, or they could just be people from the audience. The judges award scores, often on a scale of 1 to 10. (In some competitions, they drop the highest and lowest scores.) These individual scores are added together to give a final score. The highest score wins the competition.

How do I hold a poetry slam?

Thinking of holding your own slam? Go for it! Just remember that not all students are comfortable performing in front of their peers. Plus, be sure to offer some guidance to the audience on constructive ways to offer their feedback. These resources can help:

  • How To Host Your Own Schoolwide Poetry Slam
  • Poetry4Kids : How To Host a Poetry Slam
  • Become a Writer Today : How To Poetry Slam—A Detailed Guide

Looking for more ways to inspire students with poetry? Check out 15 Types of Poetry To Share With Kids (Plus Examples of Each) .

Plus, get all the latest teaching tips and ideas, straight to your inbox, when you sign up for our free newsletters .

Poetry slams bring new life to a sometimes stuffy genre. Share these slam poetry examples in the classroom with kids of all ages.

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40 Inspiring Poetry Games and Activities for Kids and Teens

They are poets, and they know it! Continue Reading

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The Movie and the Book “Slam” Comparisin Film Analysis Essay

Introduction, learner outcomes (objectives), pre-assessment activity, differentiation, adaptation and accommodation strategies, learning activities, works cited, learning activities: guided practice/ collaborative practice, independent practice, assessment and evaluation, lesson reflection/ assessment.

Barkhorn, Eleanor. “ Why Are American Schools Still Segregated? ” The Atlantic 2013. Web.

Slam . Ex. Prod. Stratton, Richard and Kim Wozenkraft. Santa Monica, CA: Trimark Pictures. 1998. DVD.

Stratton, Richard and Kim Wozenkraft. Slam . New York, NY: Offline Entertainment Group. 1998. Print.

  • Chicago (A-D)
  • Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2024, January 2). The Movie and the Book "Slam" Comparisin Film Analysis. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-movie-and-the-book-slam-comparisin-film-analysis/

"The Movie and the Book "Slam" Comparisin Film Analysis." IvyPanda , 2 Jan. 2024, ivypanda.com/essays/the-movie-and-the-book-slam-comparisin-film-analysis/.

IvyPanda . (2024) 'The Movie and the Book "Slam" Comparisin Film Analysis'. 2 January.

IvyPanda . 2024. "The Movie and the Book "Slam" Comparisin Film Analysis." January 2, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-movie-and-the-book-slam-comparisin-film-analysis/.

1. IvyPanda . "The Movie and the Book "Slam" Comparisin Film Analysis." January 2, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-movie-and-the-book-slam-comparisin-film-analysis/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "The Movie and the Book "Slam" Comparisin Film Analysis." January 2, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-movie-and-the-book-slam-comparisin-film-analysis/.

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slam book essay example

1654+ Fun Slam Book Questions (Friends/Couples) 2023

  • 1654+ Fun Slam Book Questions…

A slam book is a memory book or questionnaire usually passed around among friends or classmates. It typically includes a list of questions designed to learn more about the person filling it out. The questions in a slam book can range from simple ones like favorite color or food to more personal ones like relationship status, hobbies, and future aspirations. So here is a list of questions in your slam book which you can ask your friends in your school tie or college time, or you can give it to your teachers too.

  • 1 Slam book questions
  • 2 Slam book questions for whatsapp
  • 3 Slam book questions for friends
  • 4 Slam book questions for husband
  • 5 Slam book quiz questions
  • 6 Slam book questions and answers
  • 7 Slam book questions for colleagues
  • 8 Slam book questions about me
  • 9 Slam book questions for crush

Slam book questions

What is your full name? When is your birthday? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite food? What is your favorite hobby? What is your favorite book? What is your favorite movie? Who is your favorite actor/actress? Who is your favorite singer/band? What is your favorite TV show? What is your favorite place to visit? What is your favorite subject in school? Who is your best friend? What is your dream job? What is your biggest fear? What is your biggest accomplishment? What is your favorite quote? What is your favorite memory? What is your favorite season? What is your favorite holiday? What is your favorite sport? Who is your role model? What is your favorite animal? What is your favorite cartoon character? What is your favorite social media platform? What is your favorite song? What is your favorite type of music? What is your favorite thing to do on weekends? What is your favorite thing to do with your family?

Slam book questions for whatsapp

Are you looking for a fun way to get to know your friends better on WhatsApp? Look no further than Slam book questions! These quick and easy questions are a great way to spark conversations and learn more about each other. So grab your phone and get ready to start sharing! What’s your favorite season and why? What’s your biggest pet peeve? If you could have dinner with any celebrity, who would it be? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life so far? What’s your favorite type of music? If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? What’s your favorite hobby? What’s your biggest fear? Who is your role model? What’s your favorite TV show? What’s your favorite book? What’s your favorite movie? What’s your favorite food? If you could have any superpower, what would it be? What’s your favorite sport? What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? What’s the best gift you’ve ever given? What’s your favorite thing about yourself? What’s your favorite memory from childhood? What’s your favorite memory from adulthood? What’s your favorite holiday? What’s your favorite color? If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? What’s your favorite quote? What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done? What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? If you could switch lives with anyone for a day, who would it be? What’s your favorite animal? What’s your favorite thing to do on a lazy day?

Slam book questions for friends

Slam books are a timeless way to learn more about your friends and create lasting memories. Whether you’re reminiscing about your childhood or getting to know someone new, these fun and thought-provoking questions are sure to spark interesting conversations. So gather your friends and get ready to slam! What’s the most important quality you look for in a friend? What’s your biggest accomplishment so far? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done with your friends? What’s your favorite childhood memory with your friends? What’s your favorite inside joke that only you and your friends understand? What’s your favorite thing to do with your friends? Who is your closest friend and why? What’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to you and your friends? If you could describe your group of friends in one word, what would it be? What’s the best advice you’ve ever received from a friend? What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you in front of your friends? What’s the best gift you’ve ever received from a friend? What’s the best prank you’ve ever played on a friend? What’s the most memorable trip you’ve taken with your friends? What’s your favorite activity to do with your friends? Who is the most adventurous friend in your group? What’s your favorite tradition that you have with your friends? Who is the most supportive friend in your group? What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about a friend? What’s the most inspiring thing you’ve seen a friend do? What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done with a friend? What’s the most touching thing a friend has ever done for you? What’s your favorite song to sing with your friends? Who is the most creative friend in your group? What’s the most hilarious conversation you’ve ever had with your friends? Who is the most positive friend in your group? What’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned from a friend? What’s the most interesting hobby a friend has introduced you to? Who is the most thoughtful friend in your group?

Slam book questions for husband

If you’re looking for a fun way to deepen your connection with your husband, why not try slam book questions? These simple but thought-provoking prompts are a great way to spark interesting conversations and learn more about each other. So grab a pen and paper and get ready to slam! What’s your favorite thing about being married? What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for me? What’s your favorite memory from our wedding day? What’s your favorite thing to do together? What’s your biggest dream for us as a couple? What’s your favorite quality about me? What’s your favorite thing about our relationship? What’s the best gift you’ve ever given me? What’s your favorite thing about our home? What’s your favorite place that we’ve traveled together? What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received about marriage? What’s the most difficult thing about being married? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned about love and relationships? What’s your favorite movie or TV show to watch together? What’s your favorite meal that I cook for you? What’s your favorite thing to do on date night? What’s the most thoughtful thing I’ve ever done for you? What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received from me? What’s the most challenging thing we’ve faced as a couple, and how did we overcome it? What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself since being married? What’s your favorite book or author, and why? What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened between us? What’s your favorite hobby or activity to do together? What’s your favorite thing about our future together? What’s your favorite trait that we share in common? What’s the most meaningful experience we’ve shared together? What’s the best adventure we’ve been on together? What’s your favorite quality about our marriage? What’s your favorite memory of us as a couple?

Slam book quiz questions

Looking for a fun way to test your knowledge and challenge your friends? Look no further than slam book quiz questions! These brain teasers cover a wide range of topics, from pop culture to history to science, and are sure to keep you entertained for hours. So get ready to put your thinking cap on and start slamming! What’s your favorite book of all time? What’s your favorite movie and why? Who is your favorite celebrity and why? What’s your favorite place to visit and why? If you could be any fictional character, who would you be? What’s your favorite hobby or pastime? If you could learn any new skill, what would it be? What’s your favorite song and why? If you could have any superpower, what would it be? What’s your favorite food and why? What’s your favorite animal and why? If you could live in any time period, what would it be? What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time? If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be? What’s your favorite color and why? What’s your biggest fear? What’s the best gift you’ve ever received and why? If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? What’s the biggest goal you’ve ever accomplished? What’s the best thing about your current job? What’s the best vacation you’ve ever taken? If you could be any character from a TV show or movie, who would it be? What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling stressed? If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? What’s the best advice you’ve ever received? If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What’s the best thing about your personality? What’s your favorite thing to do with your family? If you could have any type of pet, what would it be?

Slam book questions and answers

Slam books have been a popular way to get to know friends and family for generations. But what about slam book questions and answers? These interactive quizzes are a great way to challenge yourself and others while also learning something new. So get ready to test your knowledge and have some fun with these slam book questions and answers! What’s your favorite thing to do with friends? – Hanging out and talking or going to see a movie. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received? – Always be yourself, no matter what. What’s your favorite childhood memory? – Going to the beach with my family every summer. If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? – Being a professional athlete. What’s your favorite type of music and why? – I love pop music because it’s upbeat and fun to dance to. What’s your biggest goal in life? – To be happy and fulfilled in my personal and professional life. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? – I would love to visit Italy because of the food, culture, and history. What’s your favorite thing about yourself? – I am a good listener and empathetic towards others. What’s the biggest challenge you’ve ever faced and how did you overcome it? – Moving to a new city and making new friends. I joined clubs and organizations to meet new people. What’s your favorite thing to do on a lazy day? – Watching movies or reading a good book. What’s your favorite quote and why? – “Be the change you wish to see in the world” by Mahatma Gandhi because it reminds me to take responsibility for my actions and strive to make a positive impact. What’s your favorite food and why? – Pizza because it’s delicious and there are so many different toppings you can choose from. What’s the best gift you’ve ever given someone? – A heartfelt card expressing my gratitude and appreciation for them. What’s the best vacation you’ve ever taken? – A trip to Hawaii where I got to experience the beautiful beaches and culture. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling down? – Listen to music or talk to a close friend or family member. If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be? – Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series because she is intelligent, strong, and kind-hearted. What’s your favorite thing about your significant other? – Their sense of humor and ability to make me laugh. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? – That I am a kind and genuine person. What’s your favorite holiday and why? – Christmas because of the joy and togetherness it brings. If you could have any talent, what would it be? – Playing a musical instrument. What’s your favorite thing to do to unwind after a long day? – Take a hot bath and read a book. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned about love and relationships? – Communication and trust are key to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. What’s your favorite way to exercise? – Playing sports or going for a run. What’s your favorite thing to do in nature? – Hiking or camping. What’s the best advice you’ve ever given someone? – To never give up on their dreams and goals. If you could have any pet, what would it be? – A golden retriever. What’s your favorite thing about your job? – The opportunity to help others and make a difference. What’s the best thing about your family? – Their unconditional love and support. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? – Teleportation so I could travel anywhere in the world instantly.

Slam book questions for colleagues

Getting to know your colleagues better can help create a positive and productive work environment. One fun way to do this is through slam book questions! These prompts are designed to spark conversations and deepen connections, making them perfect for team-building activities or casual lunchtime chats. So grab a pen and get ready to slam with your colleagues! What’s your favorite thing about working in this field? What’s your favorite project you’ve worked on at this company? If you could switch job roles with someone in the company for a day, who would it be? What’s your favorite thing to do on your lunch break? What’s the best advice you’ve received from a coworker? What’s your favorite thing about the company culture? What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day at work? What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced at this job and how did you overcome it? If you could work remotely from anywhere in the world, where would you go? What’s the most rewarding thing about your job? If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What’s your favorite team-building activity you’ve done with coworkers? What’s the best perk the company offers? What’s your favorite thing about your workspace? What’s your favorite thing to do with coworkers outside of work? What’s the best work-related event you’ve attended? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from a coworker? What’s your favorite thing about the office environment? What’s the best professional development opportunity you’ve had at this company? What’s your favorite thing to do during team meetings? If you could work in any other department at the company, which would you choose? What’s the best recognition you’ve received from a manager or coworker? What’s the best project you’ve seen a coworker work on? If you could give one piece of advice to a new hire, what would it be? What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned on the job? What’s your favorite thing about the company’s mission? If you could have any mentor in the company, who would it be? What’s your favorite way to stay motivated at work? What’s the best team achievement you’ve been a part of?

Slam book questions about me

If you’re looking for a fun and easy way to share more about yourself with friends and family, consider using Slam book questions about me! These prompts are all about you, from your favorite hobbies to your biggest dreams, and are a great way to start meaningful conversations. So grab a pen and paper and get ready to reveal more about yourself with these Slam book questions! What’s your favorite hobby? What’s your favorite food? What’s your favorite book or movie? What’s your biggest accomplishment so far? What’s your favorite vacation spot? What’s your favorite memory? What’s your biggest fear? What’s your dream job? What’s your favorite way to relax? What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends? What’s your biggest pet peeve? What’s your favorite way to exercise? What’s your favorite thing about yourself? What’s your favorite type of music? What’s your favorite childhood memory? What’s your favorite thing about your family? What’s your favorite type of weather? What’s your favorite way to spend time with friends? What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling down? What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling happy? What’s your favorite way to give back to your community? What’s your biggest regret? What’s your favorite way to stay organized? What’s your favorite way to express yourself? What’s your biggest challenge in life so far? What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored? What’s your favorite way to learn new things? What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling creative? Also check – Tuesday Night Trivia Quiz Questions / Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions

Slam book questions for crush

Are you looking for a way to get to know your crush better and start a meaningful conversation? Consider using Slam book questions! These prompts are designed to be thought-provoking and fun, and can be a great way to spark interesting discussions and learn more about each other. So grab your phone and get ready to start slamming with your crush! What’s the craziest adventure you’ve ever been on? If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go? What’s the most important thing you look for in a relationship? What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet? What’s your favorite type of cuisine? What’s your favorite quote or saying? What’s your favorite way to spend a lazy Sunday? If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be? What’s your favorite thing about your job or career? What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in life so far? What’s the best gift you’ve ever received? What’s something you’re passionate about? What’s your favorite type of outdoor activity? If you could have any superpower, what would it be? What’s your favorite type of book or movie genre? What’s the most interesting thing you’ve learned recently? What’s your favorite way to stay active? If you could have dinner with any celebrity, who would it be? What’s the most inspiring thing anyone has ever told you? What’s your favorite type of animal? What’s your biggest accomplishment that no one knows about? What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling adventurous? If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been to? What’s your favorite type of music to dance to? What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time? What’s your favorite memory from your childhood? What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day? What’s the most interesting place you’ve ever visited?
Our list of questions will help you ask your friends the slam book questions. When someone fills out a slam book, they typically write their answers next to each question. Sometimes, they also include drawings, doodles, or stickers to make their entry more personal and unique. Once everyone has had a chance to fill out the slam book, it is returned to the original owner as a keepsake or memory book of their friendships and experiences. Slam books are often popular among teenagers and young adults as a way to get to know each other better and express themselves creatively. However, it is essential to remember that slam books should be used positively and respectfully and not as a tool for bullying or spreading rumours.

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82 pages • 2 hours read

A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more. For select classroom titles, we also provide Teaching Guides with discussion and quiz questions to prompt student engagement.

Chapter Summaries & Analyses

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Chapters 18-21

Character Analysis

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Summary and Study Guide

Slam! is a 1996 young adult novel written by Walter Dean Myers. Drawing from Myers’s own experiences growing up in Harlem and his love for basketball , Slam! tells the story of 17-year-old Greg “Slam” Harris and his efforts to succeed in basketball and school while avoiding the pitfalls in his neighborhood.

Plot Summary

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Glen “Slam” Harris lives in Harlem but attends a well-known charter school, Latimer, in the Bronx. The school is mostly white, and Slam, who is Black, is there as part of a program designed to increase the school’s diversity. Recently, Latimer’s basketball team has not found success, and Slam has plans to change that. Before he can do that, though, Slam first has to try out for the school team. After he shows up late to the tryout, Slam waits for his turn to play, watching the rest of the team play and evaluating their skills, confident that he is better than everyone. Slam shows his skills to the head coach, Coach Nipper, and the rest of the team and makes varsity. However, there’s one catch: Mr. Tate, the school principal, tells Slam that he has to improve his grades if he wants to stay at Latimer. Slam doesn’t want to give up basketball, but he also feels overwhelmed by the demands of school life at Latimer and wonders if he should just go back to Carver, his former school.

Slam’s mother, who is very supportive and wants the best for her son, pushes Slam to receive tutoring in math, but his dad, who can’t hold down a steady job and drinks a lot when he’s unemployed, doesn’t like the idea of someone other than him helping Slam. At the same time, Slam’s grandmother, Ellie, is in the hospital with cancer, though she is eventually released.

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Slam begins working on a film project for school. Using a camera borrowed from the school, he plans to make a documentary-style film about his neighborhood. Slam’s younger brother, Derek, really enjoys filming scenes in the neighborhood, and the brothers bond during the time they spend together filming. At one point, though, Derek loses the camera, angering Slam, but he later finds it at a pawn shop and is able to retrieve it.

At the same time, Slam starts spending more time with Mtisha , a friend of his from Carver, and they begin a romance. Mtisha expresses concern about Ice, Slam’s best and oldest friend from growing up, as she is worried he has started dealing drugs. Slam notices that Ice has more money and flashier clothes and spends more time with people Slam doesn’t recognize. He wants to talk to Ice about this, but he doesn’t know how to bring it up, and he’s scared of confronting his friend. Mtisha also starts helping Slam with math as he continues struggling to get a passing grade.

Over the course of the basketball season, Slam eventually earns a role in the starting lineup and helps lead the Latimer team to newfound relevance. However, Slam’s attitude earns Coach Nipper’s distrust, and at one point Slam leaves the bench during a game and storms into the locker room. He takes Coach Nipper’s decisions personally, but Coach Goldstein , the team’s assistant coach, follows Slam into the locker room and talks with him about the game of life—everyone is playing the game of life, not just those on the court, and Slam needs to remember that only he is in charge of his actions, and no one else. His future is wide open if he commits to putting in the work needed to achieve his goals.

The basketball season culminates in the conference championship game versus Slam’s former school, Carver. Ice plays for Carver, and he and Slam face off in a very physical battle that goes down to the wire. Slam leads Latimer to victory, and everyone is thrilled they won. Slam doesn’t want anything to get between him and Ice, so they agree to meet up at a party later that night.

At the party, Ice gives drugs to a woman addicted to crack. Slam is horrified because he was convinced that Ice was not dealing. Ice and Slam get into a fight, and Slam storms out of the party. At school the next day, everyone is cheering for Slam and the rest of the team, and Slam learns from Mtisha that Ice plans to stop dealing. Slam feels optimistic about his future, knowing that things are unwritten and only he can author his story.

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Creative Ideas for a Perfect Slam Book Filling

Last Updated: May 25, 2023

slam book

Slam books have always been a fun way to know more about our friends and their personal preferences. Filling out a slam book is an exciting experience, as you not only discover your friends’ favorite things but also create lasting memories.

In this extensive guide, we will cover all aspects of a slam book, from questions about your favorite song, movie, and food to deeper, more personal questions about your life, fears, and wishes. So, let’s get started! So, grab a pen and get ready to create the ultimate slam book!

1 The Basics

Name and Nickname: Begin by writing your full name and nickname, as this helps to set the stage for the rest of the slam book. Nicknames often hold a special meaning, so don’t forget to share the story behind yours.

Age, School, and College: Mention your age, the school you attended, and the college you’re currently enrolled in or have graduated from. This information gives an idea of your educational background.

Favorite Color, Food, and Song: Share your favorite color, food, and song, revealing a bit about your personal taste. Don’t be shy about divulging your love for free stuff like samples at the supermarket, as everyone appreciates a good bargain!

Favorite Movie, TV Show, and TV Character: Delve into your love for entertainment by listing your favorite movie, TV show, and TV character. This can spark conversations and debates with friends who may have contrasting opinions.

Celebrity Crush and Favorite Female Celebrity: Share your celebrity crush and favorite female celebrity, whether they’re an actor, musician, or public figure. Additionally, if you have a secret crush that you’re comfortable revealing, go ahead and spill the beans!

2 Personal Life and Relationships

Personal Life Answer and First Crush: Here’s where things get more personal. Share an honest answer about your personal life, discussing your first crush and your first reaction when you realized you had feelings for them.

Best Friend, Friend’s Girlfriend, and Funniest Friends: Talk about your best friend, their girlfriend (if they have one), and the three funniest friends you have. Share anecdotes and memories that highlight the humor and camaraderie you share with your friends.

Soul Mate, True Love, and Relationship Status: Discuss your thoughts on soul mates and true love, and share your current relationship status. If you’re single and ready to mingle, this could be an excellent opportunity to find your perfect match!

Bravest Thing You’ve Ever Done: Share the bravest thing you’ve ever done, whether it was standing up to a bully or overcoming a fear. This demonstrates your courage and resilience.

3 Memories, Wishes, and Regrets

Favorite Memory, Past Moments, and Peaceful Day: Share your favorite memory, describe a few significant past moments, and recall your most peaceful day. These reflections can bring back happy memories and remind you of the simpler times in life.

Three Wishes and Biggest Regret: If you had three wishes, what would they be? Also, reveal your biggest regret in life. This can serve as a therapeutic exercise, allowing you to confront and learn from your past mistakes.

First Impression of Your Friends: Share the first impression you had of your friends and how those initial judgments may have changed over time. This can offer insight into your growth and the evolving nature of friendships.

4 Fun Questions and One-Word Answers

One Superpower and One Word to Describe Yourself: If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Also, choose one word that best describes you. This can reveal your aspirations and self-perception. Deepest Fear and Biggest Fear: Discuss your deepest fear and your biggest fear, as this can be a cathartic exercise and help you confront these emotions. It’s also a great way to bond with friends, as they might have similar fears.

One Famous Person You Would Like to Meet: Mention one famous person you would love to meet and why. This can showcase your admiration for someone who inspires or intrigues you.

Best Advice You’ve Ever Received: Share the best advice you’ve ever received, whether it was from a family member, teacher, or friend. This can be a valuable life lesson that others can learn from as well.

5 Hobbies, Interests, and Quotes

Hobbies and Favorite Things to Do: Write about your hobbies and favorite things to do during your free time. This can help your friends discover common interests and spark new conversations.

Favorite Place to Visit: Share your favorite place to visit, whether it’s a vacation destination, a peaceful park, or a bustling city. This can reveal your travel preferences and inspire future trips with friends.

Favorite Quote: Share your favorite quote, whether it’s a line from a book, movie, or song or an inspiring saying from a famous person. This can give insight into your worldview and values.

6 Year Resolution, Most Important Thing, and Live Your Life

New Year Resolution: Discuss your New Year’s resolution and the progress you’ve made towards achieving it. This can serve as a source of motivation and encourage you to keep pushing forward.

Most Important Thing in Life: What is the most important thing in your life? It could be your family, friends, career, or anything that holds great significance to you. Sharing this information can help others understand your priorities and values.

Live Your Life: Share your philosophy on how to live your life to the fullest. This can inspire and motivate others to adopt a positive outlook and make the most of their lives.

7 Own Questions and Thoughts

Own Questions: Pose your own questions for your friends to answer. This can help you discover unique aspects of their personalities that you may not have known before.

Own Thoughts: Share your thoughts, ideas, and reflections on various topics, such as your favorite music, books, or even the relationship between money and happiness. This can help others gain a deeper understanding of who you are and what you believe in.

8 Goals, Dreams, and Aspirations

Most important thing: What is the most important thing in your life? Whether it’s family, friends, or personal growth, share your priorities and values in your slam book.

Favorite thing: Share your favorite thing to do in your free time, whether it’s watching a TV show, playing an instrument, or exploring nature.

Peaceful day: Describe your ideal peaceful day and how you would spend it. This can inspire your friends to seek out their own moments of relaxation and tranquility.

Life advice: Offer some life advice for your friends, based on your own experiences and wisdom. This can be a valuable way to support one another and grow together.

College and career aspirations: Share your college and career aspirations, and discuss how you plan to achieve them. This can be a motivating and inspiring way to connect with your friends.

9 Wrapping Up

Filling out a slam book can be a fun, engaging, and enlightening experience, as you delve deep into your friends’ lives and learn more about their personal preferences, experiences, and beliefs. By using the keywords and questions provided in this blog post, you can create the perfect slam book that will help you forge lasting bonds with your friends and create unforgettable memories. So, fill out your slam book and let the fun begin!

Additionally, we have also written a blog on how to capture moments of life by writing in a diary . Make sure to check it out. :))

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slam book essay example

Icebreakers Reloaded: Using Slam Book Questions for Team Building

  • Icebreakers Reloaded: Using Slam Book…

Team building is the cornerstone of a successful and harmonious professional environment. While traditional icebreaker activities have long been employed to encourage camaraderie, it’s time to inject a fresh perspective into these interactions.

Enter “Slam Book Questions,” a nostalgic concept from school days that can be reimagined to create meaningful connections among colleagues. In this article, we delve into the art of adapting slam book questions for team-building exercises.

By infusing a touch of nostalgia and personal sharing, these questions provide a unique opportunity to foster stronger relationships, boost morale, and enhance collaboration within the workplace.

1. **Nostalgia Evokes Authentic Sharing**:

Slam book questions tap into the nostalgia of school days, instantly putting participants at ease. By adapting these questions for team-building, professionals can initiate conversations that transcend the usual work-related discussions. Questions like “What was your favorite childhood game?” or “What’s a song that always makes you nostalgic?” encourage individuals to share personal stories. These glimpses into each other’s pasts foster a sense of authenticity and relatability, breaking down barriers and creating a foundation of trust within the team.

2. **Encouraging Meaningful Connections**:

In a bustling office environment, it’s easy for team members to stick to their immediate circles. Slam book questions offer a chance to mix things up. Crafting inquiries such as “What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?” or “Share a hobby you’re passionate about” can lead to surprising discoveries. Colleagues find common interests or mutual experiences they never knew they had, sparking conversations that go beyond the surface. This not only encourages meaningful connections but also enriches the team’s diversity of thought and experience.

3. **Fostering Empathy and Understanding**:

Adapting slam book questions also provides an opportunity to delve deeper into each other’s lives and perspectives. Thought-provoking queries such as “What’s a life lesson you’ve learned recently?” or “Share a challenge you’ve overcome” enable team members to open up about their personal journeys. This sharing cultivates empathy as colleagues gain insight into each other’s struggles, triumphs, and growth. Such understanding promotes a supportive environment where team members are more likely to offer help, collaborate effectively, and stand by each other during both professional and personal challenges.

4. **Breaking Communication Barriers**:

Communication lies at the heart of effective teamwork. Slam book questions can serve as powerful tools to break down communication barriers that might exist among team members. By asking questions like “What’s a book that has impacted your perspective?” or “Share a recent travel experience,” professionals can encourage individuals to express themselves more openly. As colleagues listen and share, they cultivate better communication skills and develop a deeper understanding of each other’s viewpoints, leading to improved collaboration and problem-solving.

5. **Boosting Morale and Team Spirit**:

A team that enjoys a positive and supportive atmosphere is more likely to thrive. Slam book questions inject an element of fun and lightheartedness into the workplace, fostering an environment where team members look forward to interacting with one another. Creative inquiries such as “If you could have any superpower, what would it be?” or “What’s your go-to karaoke song?” add a touch of playfulness to the team dynamics. This boost in morale and team spirit can enhance job satisfaction and overall job performance.

6. **Enhancing Innovation and Creativity**:

Innovation flourishes when diverse perspectives converge. Slam book questions can be tailored to unearth the hidden talents and passions of team members. By asking questions like “What’s a skill you possess outside of work?” or “If you could pursue any hobby, what would it be?” professionals uncover unique abilities that might otherwise go unnoticed. This exposure to varied skills and interests can spark innovative ideas and solutions, enriching the team’s problem-solving repertoire and driving creative thinking.

7. **Promoting Inclusivity and Diversity**:

Team-building efforts should embrace the diverse backgrounds and perspectives that each team member brings. Slam book questions can be designed to celebrate this diversity, fostering an inclusive environment. By asking questions like “What’s a cultural tradition you cherish?” or “Share a person who has inspired you,” professionals encourage team members to share insights into their unique identities and backgrounds. This celebration of differences builds bridges between colleagues, promoting respect and understanding.

8. **Facilitating Team Bonding Beyond the Office**:

Team building doesn’t have to be limited to the confines of the workplace. Adapting slam book questions offers an opportunity to extend connections beyond office walls. Questions like “Share a dream travel destination” or “What’s your favorite way to unwind?” provide insights into team members’ personal lives and aspirations. This knowledge can lead to informal gatherings or activities that deepen the bond among colleagues outside of work hours.

9. **Sustaining Long-Term Relationships**:

Effective teams are built on enduring relationships. Slam book questions contribute to the long-term sustainability of these relationships by fostering a sense of belonging. As team members continue to share anecdotes, experiences, and aspirations over time, connections grow stronger. This ongoing interaction prevents the erosion of camaraderie and ensures that the team remains a close-knit unit even as projects and team compositions evolve.

10. **Setting the Stage for Professional Growth**:

The benefits of using slam book questions for team building extend beyond the immediate connections. These activities lay the foundation for continuous professional growth. By learning about each other’s strengths, interests, and career aspirations, team members can better collaborate on projects and assignments. Understanding the unique skills within the team enables effective delegation, skill-sharing, and mentorship, ultimately leading to enhanced individual and collective achievements.

11. **Improving Conflict Resolution Skills**:

Conflict is an inevitable part of any team’s journey. By incorporating slam book questions that focus on resolving differences, professionals can equip team members with better conflict resolution skills. Questions like “How do you handle disagreements?” or “Share a time you successfully resolved a conflict” prompt individuals to reflect on their approach to conflicts. This self-awareness and shared insights contribute to a healthier conflict resolution process within the team.

12. **Creating Lasting Memories**:

Memorable experiences forge lasting connections. Adapted slam book questions create unique memories that team members can fondly recall. The stories shared during these activities become touchstones, strengthening the bond among colleagues. Whether it’s reminiscing about a funny incident or discussing an unexpected discovery, these shared moments become part of the team’s narrative, fostering a sense of unity.

13. **Enhancing Cross-Departmental Collaboration**:

Collaboration across departments can be challenging due to different roles and priorities. Slam book questions provide a platform to bridge this gap. Questions like “Share a project from another department that impressed you” or “What’s a skill you’d like to learn from a colleague in a different team?” encourage cross-departmental dialogue. This knowledge exchange promotes better understanding and collaboration across the organization.

14. **Encouraging Accountability and Support**:

Adapted slam book questions can be designed to promote accountability within the team. Questions like “What’s a goal you’re working towards?” or “How can the team support you in your professional development?” encourage team members to set goals and seek support from their peers. This proactive approach to growth fosters a culture of mutual assistance and encouragement.

15. **Building a Legacy of Connection**:

As teams evolve and team members move on, the legacy of connection remains. Slam book questions contribute to the creation of this legacy by building a foundation of shared experiences. The stories, advice, and insights shared during these activities become a part of the team’s history, enriching the team’s identity and culture for years to come.

16. **Boosting Employee Engagement**:

Engaged employees are more likely to be productive and invested in their work. Adapting slam book questions for team-building can contribute to higher employee engagement levels. By creating an environment where team members feel heard, valued, and understood, professionals inspire a sense of belonging and commitment that translates into improved job satisfaction and overall performance.

17. **Breaking Monotony and Routine**:

The daily routine of work can sometimes become monotonous. Slam book questions inject an element of surprise and excitement into the workday. Incorporating unexpected and intriguing questions like “If you could time travel, where and when would you go?” or “Share a quirky fact about yourself” breaks the routine and keeps the team engaged and curious.

18. **Developing Leadership Skills**:

Team-building isn’t solely about bonding among peers; it’s also an opportunity for leadership development. By integrating slam book questions that encourage self-reflection and personal growth, professionals provide a space for team members to develop their leadership skills. Questions like “What’s a leadership principle you admire?” or “Share a time when you led a successful initiative” help individuals recognize and nurture their leadership potential.

19. **Nurturing a Safe Space for Innovation**:

Innovation thrives in an environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing unconventional ideas. Adapting slam book questions to elicit creative responses can foster this kind of space. Questions like “If you could invent a new product, what would it be?” or “What’s a wild idea you’ve had recently?” encourage out-of-the-box thinking and demonstrate that novel concepts are valued within the team.

20. **Strengthening Remote Team Connections**:

In an increasingly remote or hybrid work landscape, maintaining connections is paramount. Adapted slam book questions offer a means to strengthen these connections across physical distances. Through virtual team-building sessions, team members can engage in sharing personal experiences and anecdotes, bridging the gap created by physical separation and building rapport despite the geographical divide.

21. **Encouraging Constructive Feedback**:

Effective feedback is essential for personal and professional growth. Adapting slam book questions to include inquiries like “What’s a suggestion you have for improving our team’s communication?” or “Share a way we can enhance our project planning process” creates a platform for team members to offer constructive feedback. This promotes a culture of continuous improvement and open communication.

22. **Facilitating Skill-sharing and Learning**:

Each team member brings a unique skillset to the table. Slam book questions can be tailored to encourage skill-sharing and learning within the team. By asking questions like “What’s a skill you’d like to teach others?” or “Share a valuable lesson you’ve learned in your career,” professionals provide opportunities for team members to share their expertise and learn from each other.

23. **Cultivating Adaptability**:

The ability to adapt to changing circumstances is crucial in a dynamic work environment. Slam book questions can be designed to foster adaptability by asking about experiences related to change and growth. Questions like “Share a time when you had to quickly adjust to unexpected challenges” prompt team members to reflect on their adaptability and encourage a mindset of resilience.

24. **Creating a Supportive Mentorship Environment**:

Mentorship plays a pivotal role in career development. Adapting slam book questions to include queries about mentorship experiences or aspirations creates a space for mentoring relationships to flourish. By sharing insights about successful mentorship and seeking guidance from more experienced colleagues, team members can establish valuable mentor-mentee dynamics.

25. **Inspiring Personal and Professional Goals**:

Team-building isn’t just about the present – it’s also about the future. Slam book questions can be used to inspire both personal and professional goal-setting. Questions like “Where do you see yourself in five years?” or “What’s a dream you’re actively pursuing?” encourage team members to articulate their aspirations, fostering a sense of accountability and motivation.

In the fast-paced world of modern business, forging genuine connections among team members is more crucial than ever. The revival of slam book questions as a team-building strategy offers a delightful twist, bridging the gap between personal anecdotes and professional growth.

Also check – How To Make Slam Book / Questions To Ask When Writing A Book

As colleagues laugh over shared memories and discover hidden talents and passions, the office transforms into a place where individuals feel valued beyond their job titles. By embracing this creative approach, companies can create a culture that celebrates diversity, encourages open communication, and propels teams to achieve remarkable feats together.

So, next time you’re looking to break the ice or strengthen the bond among your team, consider the magic of slam book questions – because sometimes, the most impactful strategies come from revisiting the past.

slam book essay example

Author:  Aamir Khan

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 20 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

20 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant

Key Takeaway

Have you ever wondered what goes through an admissions officer’s mind as they read college essays?

Now’s your chance.

This post takes you behind that dark, mysterious admissions curtain to show you what exceptional, good, and “bad” college essays look like. And we don’t just show them to you.

We’ve asked our team of former admissions officers to read through the essays, analyze them, offer editing ideas, and assign them grades.

So join us on this college essay example journey so you know what to do (and what not to do) as you write all your college essays this fall.

Let’s get started.

How to Use College Essay Examples

Here’s the thing. People in college admissions have lots of different opinions about whether students should read example essays. But we believe that reading example essays is a crucial step in the college essay writing process.

If you don’t know what a college essay looks like, then how should you expect yourself to write one?

So reading examples is important.

However! There’s a caveat. The point of reading college essay examples isn’t to copy them or even to get inspiration from them. It’s to analyze them and apply what you’ve learned to your own college essay.

To help you do that, our team of former admissions officers has taken this super-comprehensive compilation of college essay examples and pointed out exactly what you need to know before you start writing.

Let me break down how this post works:

Categories:

We’ve put together a great variety of college essay examples and sorted them into three categories, including…

  • Best college essay examples: these examples are the creme-de-la-creme. They’re written by a small percentage of students who are exceptional writers.
  • Good college essay examples: these examples are solid. They do exactly what they need to do on the admissions committee floor. You’re aiming to write a good college essay.
  • “Bad” college essay examples: these examples illustrate a few of the most common college essay mistakes we see.

Our former admissions officers have assigned each essay a letter grade to help you understand where it falls on the scale of “bad” college essays to exceptional college essays.

Alongside our categorization and grades, our former admissions officers have also annotated the essays and provided concrete feedback about what works and what could be improved.

The majority of essays you’ll see here are written in response to the Common Application personal statement prompts. We’ve also included a few stellar supplemental essays at the end of the post.

How an Admissions Officer Reads College Essays

All admissions officers are different. And all institutions ask their admissions officers to read in different ways.

But there are a few strategies that shape how the majority of admissions officers read college essays. (If you want a look behind the mysterious admissions curtain, read our post about how admissions offices read tens of thousands of applications every year .)

First, we need to talk about application reading as a whole.

Remember that admissions officers are reading your college essays in the context of your entire application. It’s likely that by the time they get to your essay, they’ve already glanced at your background information, activities , and transcript . They may have even looked at your letters of recommendation or additional information.

Why is this detail important? It matters because your college essays need to be in conversation with the rest of your application. We refer to this strategy as adopting a “ cohesive application narrative .” Your unique personal brand—who you are, what you’re good at, what you value—should emerge across all of your application materials.

To summarize: your college essays don’t exist in a vacuum. Your admissions officers learn about who you are from your entire application, and your college essays are the place where you get to tell them exactly what you want them to know. You should write them in a way that creates balance among the other parts of your application.

So once your admissions officers get to your college essays, what are they looking for?

They’re looking for several things. Each of your essays doesn’t have to address all of these points, but they are a great place to start:

  • Personal narrative that explains who you are and where you come from
  • Details about specific activities, accomplishments, or inclinations
  • Personality traits that make you who you are
  • Lessons you’ve learned throughout your life
  • Values that you hold dear
  • Information about how you interact with the world around you
  • Highlights about what makes you special, strong, interesting, or unique

What do all of these points have in common? They revolve around your core strengths . We’ve written more extensively about core strengths in our college essay writing guide . But for now, just know this: your college essays should tell admissions officers something positive about yourself. They want to know who you are, what motivates you, and why you would be an active contributor to their campus.

As we go through the following example essays, remember: college essays are read alongside the rest of your application, and college admissions officers read your essays to learn about your core strengths.

Okay, let’s get to it. Ready? Buckle up.

The Best College Essay Examples

As an admissions officer, every so often you come across an essay that blows you away. It stops you in your tracks, makes you laugh or cry, or resonates deeply with you. When exceptional essays come through your application bin, you’re reminded what an honor it is to get these fleeting glimpses into incredible students’ lives.

As an applicant, you may be wondering how to write this kind of exceptional college essay. Unfortunately, there’s no simple formula. You can’t “hack” your way into it. You have to write vulnerable, authentically, and beautifully—which is much easier said than done. We have a whole guide on how to write a personal statement that stands out, so we recommend that you start there.

For now, let’s take a look at some of our favorites.

College Essay Example #1: The Gospel of Steve

The first college essay we'll look at got an A+ grade and is about the writer's experience with depression and... Steve Irwin. It's a common application essay. Check it out:

" In sophomore year, I struggled with depression((While this is a fantastic essay, this hook could definitely be stronger.)) . I felt like I was constantly battling against the darkness that seemed to be closing in on me. Until, that is, I found solace in the teachings of Steve Irwin.((This unusual last sentence drew me in when I read this for the first time.))

When I first discovered Steve Irwin and his show "The Crocodile Hunter," I was captivated by his passion for wildlife. He was fearless, jumping into danger without hesitation to save an animal in need. But it was more than just his bravery that inspired me; it was his infectious energy and love for life. Watching him on TV, I couldn't help but feel a little bit better about my own struggles.((This explicit reflection does a fantastic job connecting the writer’s experiences to this Steve Irwin reference.))

But it wasn't until I read his biography that I truly felt the impact Steve had on my life. In the book, he talked openly about his own struggles with depression. He talked about the dark moments in his life, when he felt like he was drowning in despair. But he also talked about how he fought back against the darkness, how he refused to let it consume him, and how he turned his depression into a career that allowed him to follow his biggest passions.

Reading Steve's words, I felt like he was speaking directly to me.((Another beautiful transition)) I wasn't alone in my struggles if someone as brave and fearless as Steve had faced similar challenges. And that gave me the courage to keep going. I started visiting a therapist, exercising regularly, and practicing mindfulness meditation. Day by day, I lifted myself out of my depression–all with a healthy dose of “Crocodile Hunter” each evening after I finished my homework((The writer does a great job focusing on action steps here.)) .

One of the things that I admired most about Steve was his ability to find joy and laughter in the most unlikely places. He was always cracking jokes, even in the face of danger. He taught me that laughter and humor can be a powerful tool in the fight against depression. I went looking for the humor in my own struggles. I started learning about how stand-up comedy works, and wrote my own five-minute skit finding the humor and silver lining((The writer expands their connection to Steve Irwin even more through this comedy thread.)) in my depression. I wasn’t a great comic, let me tell you. But being able to channel my experience into something positive—something that helped others laugh—was extremely gratifying to me.

Depression((The reflection in this paragraph is exactly what writers need to tie all the information together before reaching the conclusion.)) is a bizarre thing. One day, you’re besieged by it from every side and it looks like there’s no way out. Then, two months later, if you’re diligent, you look around the world and wonder what you ever had to be upset about. You find goodness and light in the things around you—your friends, your family, your habits, and your hobbies. These forces act as buttresses to keep you standing up and moving forward.

As silly as it may sound, I credit Steve Irwin with that first buttress. His experience and outlook on life gave me the push I needed to cultivate bravery and resilience in the face of my struggle with mental health. My eternal goal is now to practice the gospel of Steve—to always pass along humor, passion, and encouragement to others, especially to those who seem down and out. Thank you, Steve."

Word Count: 525

Admissions Officer Notes on The Gospel of Steve

This essay captured my attention because of its unique pairing of a tough subject—depression—with a light-hearted and endearing topic—Steve Irwin.

The writer doesn’t dwell in the experience of depression but instead finds hope and light by focusing on how their favorite TV star changed their perspective. Why this essay stands out:

  • Great organization and sign-posting . The essay clearly progresses through each part of the writer’s journey. The first sentence of each paragraph signals to the reader what that paragraph will be about.
  • Focus on action steps. It’s very apparent that this writer is a do-er. The focus of the essay is on the way they emerged from their depression, not on the depression itself.
  • Meaningful reflection. Especially in the second-to-last paragraph and conclusion, the writer beautifully reflects on what depression and hope mean to them.
  • Core strengths. From this essay alone, I gather that the writer is a sage archetype . They clearly show their wisdom and ability to persist through challenges.

Most importantly, they’ve written the essay around communicating their core strengths.

College Essay Example #2: The Embroidery Scientist

This essay is about a writer's Etsy store and the connection she draws between fashion and science.

I stretch the thin fabric over my hoop and pull it tight, wedging the nested rings between my legs to secure them shut with my other hand((This hook is compelling. It makes us ask, “What in the world is the writer doing?” We are compelled to read on to find out.)) .

Next I get out the thread. Each color is wound tightly around a paper spool and stored in a container whose original purpose was to store fishing tackle.

I look at the pre-printed design on the fabric and decide what colors to select. Orange, red, pink, yellow–this design will be as bright and happy as I can make it.

Embroidery is where the STEM and creative parts of my identity converge((Here we get a clear, explicit statement of the writer’s main point. This isn’t always necessary, but it can help your reader navigate your essay more easily if you have a lot going on.)) . My STEM side is calculated. She meticulously plans the designs, mocks them up in photoshop, and painstakingly transfers them onto the fabric. She organizes each thread color by its place in ROYGBIV and cuts every piece to an identical length of 18”. Her favorite stitch is the French Knot, with its methodical “one, two” wrap sequence. For her, art is about precision.

My creative side, on the other hand, is messy. She throws thread scraps on the floor without hesitation, and she haphazardly adds design elements in pen. She does a Lazy Daisy stitch very lazily while adding an indescribable flourish to a simple backstitch. Her methods are indeed madness: she’ll border a design with glitter glue, hang a finished project upside down, or stitch a big red X over a perfectly good embroidery. For her, art is about meaning.

While these two sides of myself may seem at odds((Seamless transition to talking about Etsy accomplishment)) , they actually complement each other perfectly. At least, that’s what 3,000 of my Etsy customers think. From three-inch hoops to massive wall hangings, my Etsy shop is a compilation of the best embroidery I’ve ever done. My precision and meaning have earned me hundreds of five-star reviews from customers whose lives I’ve impacted with my art. And none of that art would have been possible without STEM me and creative me.

My STEM and creative side complement each other in more than my embroidery life too. What began as a creative side hustle has actually made me a better scientist((Another good transition to discussing passion and talent for science)) .

Before I started embroidering, I approached the lab bench with an eye like a ruler. Poured a millimeter too much liquid? Better get a pipette. Went a degree over boiling? Time to start over. My lab reports demonstrated my knowledge, skill, and care, but they didn’t show any innovation or ingenuity. My precision led me to be a good scientist but not an exceptional one.

I realized that to be exceptional, I needed to think like a real scientist. While scientists are careful and precise, they are also interrogators. They constantly question the world around them, identifying previously unseen problems and finding creative solutions. To become the scientist I wanted to be, I needed to allow myself to be more creative((This is a good example of what reflection throughout the essay should look like.)) .

When I had this realization, I had just begun my embroidery business. I didn’t understand that my creativity could also be so useful in the lab. I set out on a new path to use more creativity in the pursuit of science.

To inspire myself, I brought an embroidery project to the lab. On it, I stitched a compound microscope and a quote from one of my favorite scientists, Marie Curie. It reads, “ I am among those who think that science has great beauty.”

In the lab now, I’m not afraid to take risks and try new things((Here we see clear personal growth.)) . When I boil my mixture too long, I still start over. But occasionally, when my teacher permits, I do a second experiment on the rejected liquid just to see what will happen. Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes it results in utter failure. But other times, my mistakes create blue, green, and purple mixtures, mixtures that bubble and burst and fizz. All of these experiments are stitches in my quest to become a cancer researcher. They are messy, but they are beautiful((The conclusion ties beautifully back to the beginning, and we also learn what the writer is interested in pursuing in the future.)) .

Admissions Officer Notes on "Embroidery Scientist"

This writer has done an excellent job talking about two very different aspects of their identity. What I love about this essay is that the structure of the essay itself shows the writer’s creativity and precision. The essay is well-organized and precise, but the writing has a unique and creative flair. It demonstrates the writer’s point exactly. I also appreciate how the writer doesn’t just talk about these parts of their identity. They explicitly connect their creativity and precision to their future goals as a scientist.

Why this essay stands out:

  • Creative approach: The writer doesn’t just say, “I have two identities: creative and logical.” Instead, they illustrate that point through the wonderful example of embroidery. Connecting embroidery with science also shows this creativity.
  • Attention-grabbing hook : The introductory paragraphs place readers immediately into the essay. We’re drawn in because we’re curious what the writer is doing and how it will evolve into a more meaningful message.
  • Connection between personal and academic interests: The writer makes it clear why this story matters for their life in college. The creative and precise personalities aren’t inconsequential—they have a real effect on who this person wants to be.
  • Forward-looking conclusion: The writer ends by subtly telling admissions officers what they’re interested in doing during and after college.

College Essay Example #4: Poetry Slam

When I first met Simon, he was neither speaking nor singing. He was doing something in between(( This hook is a good “statement” hook that raises more questions than it answers.)) . With words that flowed together like an ancient tributary, he spoke music. His hands grasping a microphone, he swayed slowly from side to side. He was a poet. But unlike that of Yeats or Dickenson, Simon’s poetry wasn’t meant to be read on a page—it was meant to be experienced like an aural work of art. And I had never experienced anything more beautiful. Disheartened, I realized that my words would never sound like Simon’s(( These two sentences are essential because otherwise the introduction would be all about Simon, not the writer.)) .

I sat in my on-deck seat. Forgetting that I was up next, I admired his craft. The crescendos and decrescendos that mirrored his pacing, the quick staccatos that punctuated each stanza, the rhymes so subtle they almost disappeared—every second of his spoken word pulled me further from reality. I listened to his words like a devout in church(( This is good sentence pacing. A long, winding sentence is followed by a short one that keeps our attention and propels us forward.)) . Closing my eyes, I joined my hands together to count the syllables. From the outside, it probably looked like I was praying. And maybe I was. When Simon’s poem ended, the audience, though betrayed by the silence, erupted into applause.

It was my turn. I had spent an entire year perfecting my poem. My sister had grown accustomed to kicking me under the dinner table when someone asked me a question. She knew that my mind was in my beloved poetry notebook, mentally analyzing my latest draft. I’ve never been one for living in the moment. My report cards usually feature comments like, “She’s a good student but has trouble paying attention.” I’m always the first one out in dodgeball because my mind is completely absent from the school gym. But what seems like inattention to my teachers is actually a kind of profound focus(( This reflection widens the essay’s scope and reveals more about who the writer is as a person.)) .

When writing slam poetry, I become completely consumed. I like to start with the words. The rhythm and intonation come with time. For me, it’s about translating a feeling into language. It’s no easy task, but it feels like an obligation. Once the words come into being, they’re like a twister in my mind(( Good (and sparing) use of figurative language.)) . They spin and spin, destroying every other thought in their path. I can’t focus on anything else because, in the aftermath of a twister, nothing else exists.

And there on the stage, nothing else existed besides me and my poem. I spoke it into existence. Like Simon, I wrapped my hands around the microphone, willing my poem to be heard. The twister exited my mind and entered the world.

A few weeks ago(( Excellent signposting)) , I watched the recording of my first poetry slam, that slam two years ago when I saw Simon perform for the first time. I saw myself climb on stage from the dark abyss of the audience. I looked small, all alone on that big stage. My voice shook as I began. But soon, my poem rendered the stage smaller and smaller. I filled the darkness with words.

As I watched myself on my computer, I thought about how I felt that day, awe-struck in the audience by Simon’s work. I felt like I’d never be able to sound like him. And I was right. My poem didn’t sound like Simon’s, and none of my poems ever would. But in this moment, I realized that they were just as beautiful. My words sounded like me(( Beautiful conclusion that really drives home just how much this person has grown. They don’t need to sound like Simon. They need to sound like themself.)) .

Word Count: 552

Admissions Officer Notes on Poetry Slam

We would call this essay a “sacred practice” essay. It’s clear that slam poetry is deeply meaningful to the writer. They even call it “an obligation.” It’s a beautiful essay that also reflects the writer’s interest in poetry. They have some nice figurative language that adds interest to the story—it’s almost like the essay is in some ways a poem itself. And the story is a good one: it demonstrates the writer’s fears, strengths, and growth.

  • Deeply meaningful: We say it all the time because it’s true: college essays should be vulnerable and deeply meaningful. This essay oozes meaning. The writer even connects their love of slam poetry to who they are as a person.
  • Good organization and signposting: The narrative in this essay is a little complicated as the writer switches between the slam poetry event, reflection on past events, and reflection during current day. But because each paragraph is about a single topic, and because they use very clear topic sentences and transitions, it’s easy to follow the narrative thread.
  • Theme: The main theme in this essay is that the writer found their own voice through slam poetry. They had to experience growth to come to this realization. The very last sentence of the essay wonderfully ties back to the introduction and wraps up the entire essay.

College Essay Example #4: The Muscle Show

My parents are the scrapbooking type(( I’m intrigued by this hook! It makes me ask, “Where is this essay going?”)) . The crafty, crazy-cut scissors and construction paper, okay-everyone-make-a-silly-face-for-this-picture type.

Every summer, my entire family rents a small house in Wildwood, New Jersey for a week to catch up and enjoy the beach and good company. My favorite part is spending time with my cousin Steven, who is one year older than me. To us, there is nothing better than two pockets full of quarters, strolling down the boardwalk headed to an arcade, licking an ice cream cone, and laughing at all the novelty t-shirts for sale(( This sentence beautifully gives us a sense of place. It evokes a sense of nostalgia, too.)) .

We have a “down the shore” scrapbook proudly displayed on our coffee table that holds memories from each of our family vacations. The scrapbook(( Ah-ha. A quick answer to our scrapbooking question.)) is such a fixture in our house that it blends in with its surroundings and I fully forgot it existed until this past March. I happened to pick it up and look at pictures from the first year we went. I was four, Steven was five, and there we were, shirtless in the living room, proudly displaying our kid “muscles” in front of a handmade sign that said “WELCOME 2 THE MUSLE SHOW”.

I cried when I saw it.

No, not because we spelled muscle wrong. The four-year-old in that picture had such a small and fragile frame. I was the kind of child who almost looked like they had six-pack abs because they are so slim. There was so much naivety in that picture that no longer exists(( With this sentence, our writer begins to embark on their journey.)) .

I started gaining weight–a lot of weight–around the fifth grade. My parents are wonderful role models in the way they treat others, but they aren’t exactly paragons of healthy eating. Looking through the scrapbook, none of the adults in my family were particularly healthy. I distinctly remember my dad saying to me sometime in elementary school, “what do these people go to the gym for, anyway? What are you going to do with all those muscles?” I spent elementary and middle school on a steady diet of McDonald’s, Doritos, and video games.

I hit 200 pounds at age 14. One day in my least favorite class, PE, we had to do a push-up competition. Not only could I not do one, I was out of breath just getting up and down from the floor. Something had to change(( And here is our inciting incident in this narrative arc)) .

I turned to one thing I was good at to figure out a solution: reading. I read books like “Why We Get Fat” by Gary Taubes and started to learn the science behind calories, carbs, insulin, and soon, exercise. Even though neither of my parents had ever been inside a gym, I convinced them to buy me some training sessions and a membership that Christmas.

It’s remarkable what happens when you suddenly stop consuming fried chicken and soda, go for a daily 20-minute power walk, and exercise a few times a week. Progress in losing weight actually came sooner than I expected. By sophomore year, I was lifting weights four times a week after school and felt more comfortable in the gym than anywhere else.

I also noticed my attitude towards schoolwork was changing(( This is a good transition to widen the scope of the essay and talk about the broader implications of this journey on the writer’s life.)) . I felt like I had control in my life for the first time. I had spent countless hours trying to “level up” fake characters in video games (OK, I still do that…). But leveling up myself–my own body and mind–was life changing. So much in life is out of our control, but realizing that, at least to an extent, my own health is within my control brought a new sense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.

Today, I’m at a healthy weight, my grades have improved, and I have even taken several of my friends to the gym for their first time. I look forward to continuing my healthy trend in college and beyond.

I’ll see Steven again at this summer’s beach trip. We have decided to recreate the “musle show” picture–this time with better spelling and in better health(( This short conclusion wraps everything up and has a great callback to the beginning of the essay.)) .

Admissions Officer Notes on The Muscle Show

What I like about this essay is how it weaves together multiple parts of this writer’s life. We get their family background, their sense of self, and their values, interests, and goals. The writer takes us on a journey with them. We see their determination in finding solutions to the problems they’re facing, and we also clearly see their personality and voice.

  • Upward-trending growth structure : This writer nails this essay structure. We clearly see that they begin at a “point A” where things aren’t so great, and they steadily make their way to “point B.” By the end, we truly get a sense of how they’ve grown through the journey.
  • Connections: This essay isn’t just about the writer’s health journey. It’s also about their “sense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.” Their changes expanded to even more parts of their life, and we can see that they are a person who takes initiative and gets creative with solutions.
  • Conclusion: I especially love the way this conclusion brings everything full-circle. The “musle show” reference at the end ties the journey nicely together with a bow and ends with a sense of forward movement.

College Essay Example #5: The Stop Sign

While some high schoolers get in trouble for skipping class, I get in trouble for arguing with my local government officials on Twitter. But when lives are at stake, I can take the heat(( Very catchy, humorous, and personality-filled hook)) .

I live at the intersection of 33rd and Spruce. The intersection itself sits between a large bend and a bundle of white oak trees—a recipe for obstructed views. Drivers careen around the corner, Indy 500-style, and are abruptly met with oncoming traffic. Neither can see the other through the oaks. What is otherwise a beautiful intersection makes for awfully dangerous driving conditions.

Living by this intersection my whole life, I’ve heard countless crashes and collisions. The screeching tires and cacophony of crushing car parts is seared in my mind. As neighbors, we are often the first on the scene. Cell phone in hand, I’ve run out to help several motorists who didn’t know what was coming. After the most recent crash, where a car flipped into the ditch, I knew that something had to change(( The writer has set the scene with a vivid description, and these sentences draw our attention to what’s at stake. They need a stop sign, and it’s clear that the writer is on a mission to get one.)) . We needed a stop sign.

I began with a google search, which led me to my local Stop Sign Request Form. According to the form, a government official would reach out to me. If they deemed it appropriate, we’d work together to assess whether the intersection qualified for a stop sign.

Their response took months. While I waited, I began collecting evidence on my own(( The writer’s initiative shines through.)) . After noticing that the security camera on my house pointed toward the intersection, I decided to put the skills I’d been developing in AP Computer Science to work. I wrote a simple code that tabulated the number of cars that passed through the intersection each day(( Here we see the technical skills the writer is developing.)) . Briefly reviewing the footage each night also helped me determine how many cars were likely going over the posted speed limit of forty miles per hour. Alongside these statistics, I went back into our cloud history to find footage of the crashes that had occurred.

When I finally heard back from the city, I was ready to make my case. My confidence deflated as soon as I opened the email(( Oh no! There’s a roadblock. Things aren’t progressing as the writer hoped.)) : Thank you for filling out a Stop Sign Request Form , the email read. At this time, we do not have reason to believe that the intersection of 33rd Street and Spruce Street meets the criteria for a two-way stop sign. The city had disagreed with my recommendation and denied my request.

I took a moment to collect myself. How could the city not care about the safety of its citizens? Were human lives not worth looking into a simple stop sign? I took to Twitter, posting statistics from my research, photos of the obstructed view, and a security camera compilation of cars speeding by. I tagged my local representatives, and I asked for help(( But the writer doesn’t focus on the problem. They continue to focus on their action steps and solutions. That’s exactly how you talk about a personal challenge in a college essay.)) .

While not all of them were receptive to my post, one particularly helpful representative connected me with my city’s City Engineer. The representative instructed me to send the City Engineer all of the evidence I had collected along with another copy of my Stop Sign Request Form.

The engineer was impressed with the code I wrote and the tracking system I’d put together, and she agreed to meet me at my house to do an inspection of the intersection. I accompanied her on the inspection so I could watch what she did. After working so hard to advocate for my community, it felt good to have my opinions heard.

In the end, I got my stop sign(( The writer emphasizes that it wasn’t just about winning the stop sign debate. It was about the community impact. And what do admissions officers want to see? Yep, community impact.)) . Drivers still occasionally speed, but I was astounded by the outpouring of thanks I received after my neighborhood was alerted of the change. My foray into local government was an eventful but rewarding one. And even though I’ve secured my stop sign, I’ll still be doing stop sign research this summer— this time as an intern at the City Engineer’s office(( And the writer pops in this awesome opportunity they’ve earned as a result. As an AO, I would see that they are continuing to prepare for college as their high school career is coming to a close.)) .

Word Count: 641

Admissions Officer Notes on The Stop Sign

This essay combines a story of personal strengths with an impactful accomplishment. It’s not necessary to write about one of your accomplishments in your college essays, but if that’s the route you want to go down, then this approach is a good one. Notice how it focuses on concrete action steps, emphasizes the skills the writer learned and used, and highlights how their actions impacted their community. A stop sign may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but the writer shows just how important this effort was.

  • Community impact: The accomplishment this writer chose to write about is an impressive one. Admissions officers are always looking at how applicants interact with their communities , so this story showcases the writer’s willingness to help and engage with those around them.
  • Strengths: Above all, we see that the writer is solutions-oriented. They are a “founder” or “builder” archetype and aren’t afraid to tackle hard problems. The writer also explicitly shows how they solved the problem using impressive skills.
  • Narrative momentum : This essay is easy to read because we’re always wondering what’s going to happen next. The hook is very catchy, the ups and downs of the writer’s struggle to solve this problem are clear, and the conclusion points to the overall significance of the story and looks toward its future impact.

College Essay Example #6: Fran’s Flower Farm

Surrounded(( The hook is interesting and vivid.)) by carnations, dahlias, and marigolds, I laid down on the hard dirt, sweating from the midday sun. While my garden was a labor of love, it was still a labor. I’d spent months during the beginning of the pandemic researching how to set up beds correctly, choose seeds and fertilizers, and run a small business(( We get plopped right into the story without wasting any time.)) . A year later, this summer would be the second harvest of Fran’s Flower Farm.

As I prepared the yield for my small table at that week’s farmers market, I reflected on how far I had come(( This transitional phrase is a quick and convenient way to incorporate reflection.)) . Prior to the pandemic, I had never even dug in the dirt. I didn’t know anything about seed germination or nitrogen levels. I had my own Instagram, but I had never had to market anything or think about overhead costs. I was a total and complete newb.

But my life, like everyone’s, changed in spring of 2020. Lockdown rendered me depressed and hopeless until one day when my mom ordered me a bouquet of flowers along with our grocery delivery. The bouquet was a simple grocery store arrangement of sunflowers. A few petals were wilting at the ends, and the stems were smashed from the flour that had been in the same plastic bag. But they were perfect. Such a small and thoughtful gesture, that bouquet inspired me to get to work(( Nice—here we learn about the “inciting incident” that compelled the writer to get started on their flower farm.)) .

Lucky enough to have space for flower beds, I mapped out four different six-foot beds in my backyard. Garden tools stolen from my mom and borrowed from socially-distanced neighbors in hand, I added compost, arranged my seeds, watered, and mulched. I laid protective plastic over my beds, tucking them in like a child, and wrapped the garden in decade-old chickenwire I found in our barn. My garden was imperfect–compost trailed between beds, my hose wrapped around my shovel in a heap on the ground, and the chickenwire was dented and rusty. But it was all mine, and it was alive(( I like this paragraph because we really see the writer’s personality. They are determined, innovative, and grateful.)) .

As the pandemic waged on, I tended to my flowers. Each morning, I’d peek under the plastic to see how they had fared throughout the night. They gave me routine and purpose when the days seemed droning and neverending. The longer I kept them alive, the more their sprouts brought me life, too(( This is a very nice and poetic point.)) . In a world that seemed to come to a halt, my flowers showed me that growth wasn’t just possible–it was happening right in front of me.

The business side came soon after(( The transition here could be a touch smoother.)) . Later that summer, once my first crop had bloomed, I set up a roadside stand outside of my house. At that point, I had to put my flower buckets across the driveway from my stand to keep everyone safe. But my flowers brightened the days of hundreds of passing motorists. With growing confidence, I secured a spot at the farmer’s market by July, my business boomed(( I’d like to see some specific details here about how well the business was doing.)) . Returning all profits to my garden, I’ve expanded my operations to include two more flower beds this year.

I’m proud of how far my gardening and business skills have come, but what has been most fulfilling about Fran’s Flower Farm have been the connections I’ve made. The pandemic was difficult for everyone, but it was especially difficult for healthcare workers. As the child of a healthcare worker myself, these challenges have been close to home. Knowing how greatly that bouquet of sunflowers affected me, I make sure to donate flowers(( And this sweet gesture shows another one of the writer’s strengths.)) to my local hospital in thanks every week.

Three years ago, I would never have guessed that I’d own my own flower farm. It’s brought me so many joys, challenges, and friends. I know I won’t be able to bring my flower farm with me to college. But the heart of the farm is more than the flowers(( Here, the writer wraps up the main theme of the essay and makes sure the reader really understands the point.)) . It’s about me learning and using my skills to help others. Wherever I’m planted, I know that I will bloom(( This phrasing is cliche. The writer could re-write the idea in their own words.)) .

Word Count: 643

AO Notes on Fran’s Flower Farm Grade: A

I don’t know about you, but I’d love to buy a bouquet of flowers from this student! While the ending is a bit cliche, we really see how far this student has come in their journey as a farmer and a business person. We also see the magnitude of their impact. They not only grew a successful small business, but they also gave back to the healthcare workers in their community. The student is definitely one I could see thriving in a campus community.

  • Topic and accomplishments : Like The Stop Sign, this essay conveys an impressive accomplishment. But the essay isn’t bragging about it or overstating its significance. It works well because the writer tells a genuine story about a passion they developed.
  • Variety: The writer also manages to show us two distinct strengths in one essay. We see their strength as a DIY farmer and as a business person. They are clearly a founder archetype.
  • Organization and style: The essay opens with a beautiful description, and we get a lot of good language throughout. The writer is able to go through a fairly complicated timeline in a concise and digestible way.

Good College Essay Examples

Not every student can write an exceptional college essay. And that’s okay. Sometimes it’s not one of your priorities or in your particular skill set.

Thankfully, college essays don’t have to be exceptional to earn admission. They can simply be good. You can still write a solid college essay that does everything you need it to do.

So what’s the difference between the best college essays and good college essays? Usually it’s writing style. Some writers have a gift for writing or have spent years practicing their craft, and those are usually the writers who produce essays that make admissions officers gasp.

But admissions officers recognize good, solid writing and storytelling, too.

So writing a good college essay should always be your main goal. Focus on the basics first before trying to level up to an exceptional essay.

College Essay Example #7: My Emotional Support Water Bottle

I had a stuffed animal named Elephant when I was a child(( This hook makes a statement that compels me to read on so I can figure out what they’re referring to.)) . I’ve long since outgrown Elephant, but now I have a new object that I keep around for comfort: my emotional support water bottle. A gray thirty-two-ounce wide-mouth Hydroflask, my emotional support water bottle accompanies me everywhere.

The water bottle was a gift last Christmas after I begged my mom for one. The brand had become extremely popular at my school, and I wanted in on the trend. When I opened the package that Christmas morning, I was elated. I felt an immediate attachment, and I was proud that I could finally fit in with the other kids at my school(( Here we learn about the connection between the waterbottle and the writer’s values)) .

I had always felt like an outsider(( In this paragraph, the writer zooms the focus out to their life in general. We need this reflection to understand why the topic matters so much to the writer.)) . Other students seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. But as much as I tried, I couldn’t find a picture that matched my piece. I envied the tight-knit friendships I saw among my peers.

As soon as I unwrapped my water bottle, I decided that I needed stickers to match. The kids at my school always had stickers on theirs. I found the perfect pack. It had animated depictions of every famous literary character imaginable. Jane Austen characters, Jay Gatsby, Sherlock Holmes, Guy Montag, Jane Eyre, and more. I couldn’t believe my luck.

No matter how disconnected I felt from my classmates, I could always find a community on my bookshelf(( The writer introduces another topic, literature, that tells us more about who they are.)) . I sat in the courtroom with Atticus Finch, walked through the streets of Saint Petersburg with Raskolnikov, and watched the revolution unfold alongside Satrapi. My literary friends kept me optimistic through difficult times, and I was glad to see them every day on my beloved Hydroflask.

After winter break ended, I couldn’t wait to debut my new accessory. I placed it atop my desk in each class, angling my favorite stickers outward in hopes of connection. I was profoundly comforted by its presence—I could always take a sip of water when I felt thirsty or uncomfortable, and its stickers promised to draw people in.

To my dismay(( This paragraph serves an important plot function. We see that everything, in fact, did not work out perfectly. By highlighting this challenge, we really get a sense of the writer’s problem-solving and resilience.)) , weeks went by, and no one noticed my Hydroflask or stickers. The school was filled with dozens more Hydroflasks after the holidays, so mine didn’t seem so special. What had once filled me with so much hope and support transformed into a reminder of an unfulfilled promise of friendship.

I coped with the disappointment by re-reading one of my childhood favorites, Le Petit Prince . Near the end, when the little prince returns to water his flower, I had a realization. I couldn’t wait around for people to come to me(( Ding, ding, ding! Here we have it. The main lesson the writer has learned. What’s great, too, is that they’ve stated it so clearly.)) . I had to bring the water to them.

The next day at school, I held my Hydroflask close and gathered all my courage. I headed into the lunch room and spotted Jordan, one of the people I’d chatted with in class. She was sitting alone at a table, reading a book I couldn’t identify. I asked if I could join her. Nodding, she told me about her book, White Teeth . When I placed my Hydroflask on the lunch table, she noticed my stickers(( This sentence is crucial because it ties all these threads together: the waterbottle, stickers, literature, and friendship/fitting in.)) . Together, we went through every sticker and talked about the character’s book.

Jordan and I spent the next day’s lunch exchanging laughter and book recommendations. She had a water bottle of her own, too. It was a classic Nalgene without a single sticker. As our friendship grew stronger, I brought Jordan the last sticker from my collection(( With this small gesture, we see a) the writer’s kindness and b) the writer’s personal growth.)) , a rainbow bookmark that read, “BOOKWORM.”

I’ve always looked to the world around me for comfort instead of finding courage within myself. Elephant still sits on my shelf, I continue to be an avid reader, and I always carry my Hydroflask around for hydration. But this learning process has taught me the importance of having confidence and finding the ability to reach out to others. I can’t wait to carry this skill with me to college— after I get some more stickers(( The conclusion ties all these threads together beautifully, and this final statement adds some spunk and forward movement.)) .

Word Count: 648

Admissions Officer Notes on My Emotional Support Waterbottle

Ah, the emotional support water bottle. We’ve all had one! This writer does a wonderful job connecting an otherwise simple object to a larger story about an important part of their life. We also learn a lot about the student, their background, their goals, and their interests from this essay. I especially like how the essay shows the writer’s academic passion (literature) without being an explicitly academic-focused essay.

What makes this essay good:

  • Storytelling: With their love of reading, it’s no wonder this writer is a good storyteller. As readers, we get a very clear sense of how the events progressed and changed the reader’s perspective.
  • Compelling hook: This essay’s introduction is attention-grabbing and quirky. It compels readers to continue on in the essay to find out what, exactly the writer is talking about.
  • Clean conclusion: The conclusion is a fantastic example of what college essay conclusions should do. It reflects back on the essay, ties up loose ends, and looks forward to how these lessons will apply to the writer’s future.

What the writer could do to level up:

  • Core Strengths: While we learn a lot about the writer from the essay, there could be a stronger sense of core strengths. We see that they are a strong reader, but that strength doesn’t necessarily connect to their overall message. We also see that they are eager to connect and become a good friend with Jordan, but they don’t all connect seamlessly into a specific archetype or two. A good question to ask yourself is: how would the strengths I show in this essay convince an admissions officer that I will be a good addition to their campus?

College Essay Example #8: Party of One

The sun shone through my airplane window, hitting the tray table exactly right to reveal the greasy handprint of a child. Beside me, a woman cleared her throat as she rifled through her purse, and the tween next to her tapped away on an iPad. The knees of the tall man behind me pushed against the back of my chair. Together, we headed to Pennsylvania(( We open with clear scene-setting, and the final sentence jumps right to the point: we’re on a journey to PA.)) .

This wasn’t my first trip to Pennsylvania, and it wouldn’t be my last. But it was my first trip traveling as a party of one. Barely past the unaccompanied minor cutoff, I departed for a month-long and court-ordered trip to my dad’s house. I wasn’t eager to travel alone. I felt afraid, too young to do this by myself. I wanted to go back home. But I decided to embrace the journey as an adventure(( This explicit reflection helps us, the reader, understand what mindset the writer is at at the beginning of this journey.)) .

With the growing whirr of the engines, the plane ascended. All around me, my neighbors breathed sighs of relief when we reached cruising altitude. I tightened my seatbelt across my lap, steadying myself for the five-hour trip, and took in the scene. Always the quiet and careful observer(( And here we really learn about who the writer is)) , a full flight was my Sistine Chapel.

The woman to my right was wearing all black. She extracted her laptop from her bag the moment the flight attendants permitted, and she created a PowerPoint presentation from scratch before the drinks cart had even started down the aisle. She was all business. I imagined that she signed her emails with nothing but her name, that she read Keynes in her free time, and that people listened when she spoke. She was everything I longed to be(( While the majority of this paragraph is about the writer’s seat mate, this final sentence brings the focus back to the writer. We learn that the description, in fact, was about the writer themself—everything they “longed to be.”)) .

Next was the tween, only a few years younger than I was. Clearly afraid of flying, the tween reached across the aisle to a man who was presumably her father. I found it endearing that she reached out in fear. The dad’s reassurance didn’t just comfort the tween. It comforted me. So far from home, his quiet calm reminded me of the parent waiting to pick me up at the other end of this journey. I remembered reaching out for my own father’s hand when we flew to Pennsylvania for the first time(( Here we have more great reflection about the writer’s relationship with their dad. )) . Now, I watched the dad squeeze the tween’s hand. I felt guilty for the frustration I felt about the trip. I was excited to see my dad.

And finally, there was the man behind me. Aside from the brief glimpse I got during boarding, I didn’t know what he looked like. But there were two things I knew to be true. First, he was tall. The longer the flight went on, the more apologetically his knees bumped against my seat. Second, I felt emboldened by his ability to take up space. With each nudge forward, I spread myself a little bigger(( The writer’s encounter with this man nudged their growth forward. At the beginning, they felt small and timid. Now, they’re more able to take up space.)) , daring to exist in a world I normally wanted to hide from.

Four hours into the flight, turbulence hit. The long-legged man yelped as his knee hit the metal of the seat. Bigger now(( And that growth is solidified even more through this brief transition statement.)) , I was able to brace myself against the impact. I looked to the tween, who I expected to be a wreck. Instead, I saw a calm girl handing napkins to her dad, whose drink had spilled in the commotion. Her care for him mirrored the care he had shown for her. The woman next to me, who had seemed so steadfast, gasped when the plane shot downward. Her hand reached for her chest as she caught herself, surprised. I moved my arm from our shared armrest, giving her space(( This last part gives a very subtle look at the writer’s growth, too. We see that the person the writer admired isn’t as strong as she had seemed. In fact, the writer’s growth has enabled them to help the woman in her moment of weakness.)) . She smiled in appreciation.

After the turbulence had ended, I looked at myself. My hands were folded neatly in my lap. I realized that although I was flying solo, I was surrounded by strangers whose stories intersected with my own(( This point could be more specific.)) . When we landed, I ran into my dad’s arms. “ You’ve grown ,” he smiled.

Admissions Officer Notes on Party of One

This essay is an endearing story about the writer’s first solo plane ride. The narrative is what we would characterize as a “going on a journey” essay—both literally and figuratively. As the writer makes this cross-country trip, they also go through a long personal journey. I especially like the tie between the introduction and conclusion. Along the way, we also learn about the writer through their observations of the other people on the flight.

  • Introduction: The first two paragraphs draw the reader in, descriptively set the scene, and establish what is at stake for the writer. We are dropped right into the journey alongside them.
  • Vivid language: Throughout the essay, the writer uses interesting and vivid language that helps draw the reader in. The details aren’t overwhelming but add depth to the narrative.
  • Reflection throughout: One of the most challenging parts of writing this kind of essay is figuring out how to incorporate your reflection throughout. Many writers mistakenly save it all to the end. But this writer does it the right way by adding reflection at each stop along their journey.

Focus on the self: As-is, this essay tells us a lot about the writer. But it’s nearing on committing one of the biggest college essay writing faux pas: focusing on people other than yourself. I think the writer is getting close to that line but doesn’t yet cross it because of the reflection throughout. But to make the essay even better, the writer could still draw more focus to their own experiences.

College Essay Example #9: My Greatest Talent

I’m a klutz(( Quirky but not too out-there hook that has a lot of personality)) —that’s it, that’s my greatest talent. I’ve honed my clumsiness to perfection, putting in more than my 10,000 hours over the last… 17 years of my life.

When I was six or seven, I was always the one tripping over my own feet, knocking things over. (“This is why we can’t have nice things!” my mom used to scream, half in jest and half in exasperation.) My parents used to joke that I was the only person who could trip on a flat surface. But unfortunately for me, despite doing my due diligence into flat-earth theory(( Here’s more humor that adds some interest and voice to the essay.)) , I found that there was a prevailingly devilish curve to everything around me. If it had a lip, an edge, or a slick spot, I found it.

As I got older(( Excellent signposting to guide the reader through the narrative)) , my talent for being a klutz grew. I managed to trip over my own backpack on a daily basis, and I once fell down a flight of stairs while holding a tray of cookies (I was trying to be a good hostess, but it didn't end well). My friends and family came to expect it, and after those first few years of irritated glances, they began to meet my clumsiness with a laugh and an extended hand.

Being a klutz isn't all bad(( Here, the writer flips our expectations on their head. We’re about to learn about how being clumsy is, in fact, a talent.)) . In fact, it has some pretty decent perks. For one thing, it’s helped me become more empathetic. I know what it feels like to stumble and fall (and stumble and fall, and stumble and fall, and…), and I’m always ready to offer a kind word and a hug to someone who’s having a tough time. I also have a great sense of humor(( We’ve already seen this strength in action at the beginning of the essay, so it’s another good one to highlight.)) —a defense mechanism thanks to all of the embarrassing moments that I’ve created for myself. And let's not forget the fact that I am never bored. There is always something to trip over or knock over. Neither I nor anyone around me ever lacks for entertainment.

One of the biggest benefits of being a klutz is the unexpected friendships(( Friendship is another good strength. But at this point, the essay is starting to feel somewhat list-like. It may have been better to delve more deeply into fewer strengths rather than try to cover so much at once.)) it has given me. For example(( This is a good concrete anecdote that demonstrates the point, though.)) , I once tripped and fell into a ditch while hiking with a group of near-strangers I had met at a trailhead. Surrounded by brambles and thorns, three of them jumped right down with me to hoist me out. My graceless tumble became an inside joke of the trip and we all ended up becoming good friends. I was still embarrassed, of course, but I’m grateful that my clumsiness opened up a new door for friendship that day.

Being a klutz has also taught me to be patient with myself(( Again, we have another good strength, but it’s a lot to cover in one short essay.)) , and to not take myself too seriously. It has taught me to always be prepared for the unexpected, and to always have a good sense of humor. And most importantly, it has taught me to be kind to others(( And yet another strength! Especially since these are related, combining them in a more substantial way may have been more effective.)) , especially when they are having a tough time.

So, if you are looking for someone who’s a little bit quirky and a lot of fun, I’m your girl. I may not be the most graceful person on the planet, or on your campus, but I am confident, kind, and always up for a good laugh. Anyway, where's the fun in being graceful? Just, please, if you do accept me—I’d really appreciate some foam bumpers on the sharp surfaces in my dorm(( More wonderful personality to wrap things up hete. It's approaching being too informal, though.)) .

Word Count: 548

Admissions Officer Notes on My Greatest Talent

This essay is kind of a goofy one. I’ve included it as an example because I want to show you that it’s okay for your college essay to have some personality! Your college essay doesn’t have to be a big, serious rumination on some deep topic. Especially if you’re a goofy person yourself, it’s completely okay for you to choose a more light-hearted topic that showcases your personality. If you do, just be sure to follow this writer’s lead and still write an essay that showcases your strengths.

  • Topic choice and personal voice: When we read this essay, we get a crystal clear picture of who the student is because the topic allows them to really write in their own voice. I feel like I know the student after reading it.
  • Strengths: All college essays should communicate a core strength to the reader. This essay does an exceptional job at transforming something most people would consider a weakness—being clumsy—into clear strengths—empathy, humor, friendship, patience. Overall, we see that the writer
  • Writing style: The biggest tweak this writer could make would be leveling up the writing style. As it is now, it reads like a five-paragraph essay: first I did this, then this, and then this third thing. Changing up the organization and topic sentences could help the writing come across as more mature.

College Essay Example #10: Counting Cards

I am a psychic who thinks in terms of fours and threes(( This hook raises a lot of questions: What is the writer referring to? It does read, however, as a bit disingenuous and overly quirky.)) . Deal me any hand of Gin, and I can guarantee I’ll have you beat. I stare at the cards in my hand and see numbers moving in my mind. Like a mathemetician at a chalkboard, I plan out my next move. I use logic, memory, and a little bit of luck to guess exactly what your hand looks like. The possible combinations seem endless—four Kings and a run of three, three nines and four Queens, a run of four and three sevens, and many, many more. What I love most about playing Gin is the predictability. While I may not know what’s coming, I can use what I already know to strategize, adapt, and have fun along the way(( Here we have a clear gesture toward the essay’s overall theme.)) .

My Gin career began as a small child. My aunt taught me how to play the game while we were camping. My hands were so small that we had to use a chip clip to keep the cards in place(( These first three sentences are very choppy because they all have the same length and structure.)) . I was at first intimated by the “big kid game,” as I called it then, but soon I couldn’t get enough. I forced my entire family to play, and I even roped in the kids at the campsite next to us. My aunt, a mathematician, is a skilled Gin player. She passed her tips and tricks along to me. After a few years of playing, she was the only opponent I couldn’t beat.

Last summer was the first time it finally happened. I bested her. I had a hand with three Aces and a run of Spades. I needed another Ace or a three or seven of Spades. When I drew that final Ace from the deck, I could hardly believe it. I paused to count my cards again(( This description paints a wonderful picture of the writer, their aunt, and the relationship between them.)) . I drew my hands to my chest, looked up at my aunt slowly and triumphantly, and calmly declared, “Gin.” My aunt squealed and embraced me, proud of all the progress her protegee had made.

This win came from a year of hard work(( This is an effective transition that allows the writer to talk about all the work they put in.)) . I read every book on Gin I could find at the library, watched countless YouTube videos, and became an expert on Gin’s more lively counterpart, Gin Rummy. Learning and practicing drew me into a huge online community of Gin enthusiasts. I never thought that I’d meet some of my best friends through a card game, but I did. Every night, we’d compete against each other. And with each match, my skills would sharpen like a knife on a honing steel. When I finally beat my aunt, I hadn’t just won the game. I’d won lifelong friends and greater reasoning skills(( And here is a bit of reflection sprinkled in at the end. There definitely could be more reflection throughout.)) .

Gin players aren’t internationally recognized for their intellectual prowess like chess or Scrabble. I’ve learned other games and played them successfully, but nothing has come close to the joy and challenge I feel while playing Gin. I love predicting what your opponent holds and what you’ll draw next, betting on your perfect card being in the draw deck, chatting with your opponent as you deal the next round, and earning bragging rights after winning a match—all of it is the perfect mix of strategy and community. When I head off to college in the fall, the first thing I’ll pack will be a deck of cards(( This is a sweet ending that looks forward to the future. The conclusion could have touched more specifically on why all of this is so meaningful to the writer.)) .

Word Count: 549

Admissions Officer Notes on Counting Cards

This essay chronicles a writer’s journey learning how to play the card game Gin. I really like how much the writer and their personality shine through. Like the My Greatest Talent essay, Counting Cards is a great example of how to write a fun, light-hearted essay that still speaks to your strengths.

  • Topic: Admissions officers see lots of essays about chess and sports. But it’s pretty rare to see one about Gin. The topic (and enthusiasm with which the student writes about the topic) give this essay a good personal voice.
  • Connections: The writer also makes stellar connections between a simple game and the people who are most meaningful to them: their family and friends.
  • Strengths: Even with a topic as simple as a card game, the writer manages to highlight their strengths of work ethic and camaraderie.
  • Higher stakes: We see that the game of Gin is really important to the writer. We also see how the game is connected to their relationship with their aunt and to the new community they found online. But I’m left wanting a little bit more reflection and vulnerability about why Gin is so meaningful to this writer.

College Essay Example #11: Golden Hills Animal Clinic

On my best days at work, I’m surrounded by puppies, kittens, and rainbows(( This hook is interesting, but it's quite cliche.)) . On my worst, I watch people say tearful goodbyes to their best friends. Working at the front desk of Golden Hills Animal Clinic, I’ve seen it all. I’ve learned a lot about people through their pets. I’ve also learned a lot about myself(( Here, we get straight to the point of what this essay is going to be about.)) .

I began working in the clinic two summers ago. I’m known in my family as the “ Snow White(( What a sweet detail about this writer’s background)) ” because I’ve always had a special connection with animals. I had nearly started a new colony of stray cats in my backyard by the time I was nine. I’ve nursed more sick and injured birds than I can count. I’ve discovered all kinds of insects, snakes, and lizards in my neighborhood. Now, at the front desk, I get to welcome the animals and their humans. I share in their joys and console them at their lows.

After(( This topic sentence does a good job structuring the paragraph, but it could be clearer how this paragraph connects to the overall idea of the essay.)) watching thousands of animals struggle, you think you’d get used to the pain and suffering. But each hurt, injured, or elderly animal I check in stings just the same. When I’m in the back room helping prepare the animals for surgeries or procedures, I look into their eyes and desperately try to communicate that everything will be okay. The worst part is knowing that the animals can tell something is wrong but don’t understand what is happening. And when their owners walk past my front desk, I reassure them that we’re treating their pets as our own.

But with life’s hard moments also come the happiest ones. It’s easy to become dejected by the sad times, but working at the clinic has actually given me more hope(( Ah-ha! We learn that even though the writer witnesses a lot of sadness at the clinic, the experience has actually given them more hope.)) . There’s nothing like seeing small puppies, feet too big for their bodies, prance through the waiting room. I’ve witnessed children comfort cats through holes in carriers, and I’ve become inspired by the assertiveness with which our veterinarians make critical decisions to help animals. Through all this, I’ve learned that those little pockets of happiness, care, and determination are what make life worth living(( This sentence helps ground the reader in the writer’s theme.)) .

I’ve also learned that veterinary medicine is as much about the people as it is the pets. Sometimes owners have to be convinced about the best care plan for their pets. Sometimes others aren’t able to afford the care they desperately want to get. People come in worried about nothing or not worried enough. Part of managing the front desk is having the ability to read where a person is coming from the moment they start speaking. Seeing things from customers’ perspectives helps me provide better customer service to the people and the pets. If I sense that a customer is worried about cost, I can talk to them about payment plans. If someone seems overwhelmed by the options, I ask if they’d like to speak with the vet again. In all these cases, I feel proud to provide as much help as I can. Doing so makes sure that our animals receive the best care possible(( We get a good sense of the writer’s strengths in this paragraph, but by the end, it still doesn’t really connect back to the theme.)) .

Now, as an aspiring veterinarian myself(( And with this small note, we learn all that’s at stake: the writer wants to be a vet in the future, so all of these experiences are important preparation .)) , I know that the rest of my career will be filled with the happiest and saddest moments of people’s lives. My care for animals will turn tragedies into miracles. I’ll console owners of sick pets, and I’ll help bring new life into the world. Veterinary medicine is a lot like life in general. You can’t have the good without the bad. But I’ve never met a pet owner who wouldn’t trade the pain of animal loss for even one fleeting, happy moment with their furry friend. Animals make the world a better place. Like Snow White(( Clever call back to tie the essay together)) , I’ll continue listening to animals so I can make their world a little better too.

Word Count: 615

Admissions Officer Notes on Golden Hills Animal Clinic

This essay tells a good story about this writer’s time working at an animal clinic. What I like about this essay is that the writer doesn’t sugar coat things, but they also don’t dwell on the sadness that passes through the clinic. They are real about their experiences, and they draw valuable lessons from them. They also show the importance of this story by connecting it to their future goals.

  • Strengths: We clearly see the strengths this writer brings to the clinic. They are understanding, patient, and positive. We also clearly see how these strengths will help the writer be a good veterinarian in the future.
  • Topic sentences and transitions: Although the paragraphs get unwieldy at times, the writer’s clear topic sentences and transitions help us seamlessly progress through the narrative.
  • Being more direct and concise: At times, it feels like the writer rambles instead of making clear, direct points. Rambling can distract the reader from the main point you’re trying to make, so it’s best to stay on track in each paragraph.
  • Fewer cliches: Relying on cliches shows immaturity in your writing. Cliches like “puppies, kittens, and rainbows” and “with the bad comes the good” get in the way of the writer’s own voice.

College Essay Example #12: The Filmmaker

Eye to the lens, I feel in complete control. The old camera weighs heavy in my hands as I quietly point my leading actor to the other side of the frame. Taking a moment to look at the world through my own eyes rather than a lens, I make a decision. I back up, careful not to trip, and capture the wide, panning shot I had envisioned. Filmmaking allows me to show others exactly how I see the world. With an odd angle or lingering aside, I can take my audience on a journey through my eyes(( This introduction raises a lot of questions that propel us forward through the essay: what is the writer doing? What is it that they want to show the world? Why does this all matter?)) .

What’s beautiful about filmmaking is that there are several art forms occurring simultaneously(( We begin with a paragraph that dives deep into the writer’s interest.)) . At the foundation of a scene is the script. Words that draw a viewer in and keep them there, the script is an essential act of creative writing. Next there’s the acting. An art of performance, acting brings the script to life. A good actor will make an audience feel as if they are with the characters, feeling what they feel and doing what they do. Then there’s the direction and filmmaking. Choices about how to translate a three-dimensional world to pixels on a screen drastically affect the audience’s experience. And, finally, there’s the editing. Editing is where all of the other art forms converge, selected and chopped up and stitched back together to create something even better than the original.

I’ve never been one for writing or acting. But the latter two, filmmaking and editing, are where my passions lie(( And here we learn about the writer’s main passion, inspirations, and journey as a filmmaker.)) . Inspired by my favorite movie, ET , I began filmmaking in elementary school. Borrowing my mom’s Flip UltraHD camera, I’d run around my home, filming everything in sight. Soon after, I started gathering my neighborhood friends in my backyard and directing them in made-up film productions. Our films took us on journeys around the world. We were pirates in the Atlantic, merchants in Paris, and kangaroos in Australia. We learned how to tell stories and create and resolve conflicts. In the process, we learned about ourselves, each other, and the world around us.

My love for editing didn’t come until later(( This is an okay topic sentence that helps us understand where we’re at in the narrative, but the paragraph as a whole could more clearly relate to the writer’s overall theme.)) . When my family upgraded our ancient Gateway 2000 to a sleek iMac, I became an iMovie aficionado. I learned how to use all the features and enter in keyboard shortcuts. I became a sculptor. Instead of clay, my material was digital. I’d split clips in half, manually zoom in to my subject, and add filters that changed the whole tone of a shot. Shift + Command + F, and I’d play my clips in full screen, evaluating them with the eye of a film critic. Was my shot effective? Are the actors convincing? Is there anything odd in the background? If I had never seen this, what would I think and feel? Then I’d repeat the process, over and over again.

Some people might say that dedicating myself to filmmaking is frivolous in a world with more pressing problems. But filmmaking is a way to spread messages and give people hope. From the change wrought by An Inconvenient Truth to the laughter Mr. Bean has incited in millions, filmmaking is a way to bring art, truth, and laughter to everyone. More accessible than books or newspapers, film and TV couldn’t be more essential media to confront the problems of today. With the passion of my ten-year-old self, the films I’ll continue to make will have an impact(( We conclude by learning about the writer’s interest in using filmmaking to impact the world. The writer could dig a little deeper here—it stays mainly on the surface.)) .

Word Count: 563

Admissions Officer Notes on The Filmmaker

In this essay, we get a great sense of how excited the writer is about filmmaking. They take us on their journey learning about filmmaking, and they explain how their interest will serve them in the future. I especially enjoy how this essay oozes passion. By the end of the essay, we have no doubt about what this writer sees as their life’s calling.

  • Organization: The introduction , background, explanation, and discussion of personal growth all cohere perfectly. The writer walks us through each step of their journey in a clear and logical way.
  • Voice: Through all the rich descriptions of the writer’s childhood, we really see their personality and voice.
  • Significance and meaning : While it’s clear that this topic is one the writer is passionate about, the essay could evoke more meaning. It’s not apparent what’s truly at stake. The writer should ask and answer the question: “So what?” In answering that question, they’ll be able to be more vulnerable throughout the essay.

“Bad” College Essay Examples

“Bad” is in quotation marks here because writing is always relative.

In the case of these examples, we have categorized them as “bad” because they don’t adequately meet the expectations of a college essay. That doesn’t mean that they’re objectively bad or that their writers are bad writers. It means that the essays need some more attention.

“Bad” essays can always become good essays. Sometimes they can even become the best essays. What matters most is identifying what’s not working and putting in a lot of effort to address the problems.

Across the thousands of college essays we read as admissions officers, there are several issues that arise again and again. Learning from these issues can help you avoid them.

We have a whole post about those biggest college essay mistakes. But the following examples commit three different writing faux pas:

  • Too much metaphor and not enough substance
  • No main point or clear organization
  • About a topic that is important to the writer but not actually that high-stakes

With these mistakes in mind, let’s do some analysis.

College Essay Example #13: Lost in the Forest

I look into the forest, moss wet on my feet(( This is an intriguing hook.)) . There’s fog everywhere—I can barely see the glasses that sit on my nose. I feel a cool breeze rustle against my coat. I am cold and warm all at once. The sun shines through the fog, casting the shadow of a tree whose roots know no end. At the entrance to the forest, I stand frozen in time and space. I can’t see what’s ahead of me or behind me, only what is(( After this sentence, the metaphor becomes unclear.)) . And what is suddenly transforms into what could be. I see a fork in the pathway in front of me. The noise—the noise is so loud. Crickets and owls and tigers, oh my(( Avoid cliche phrases.)) . My thoughts scream even louder. I can’t hear myself think through the sounds of the forest of my mind. Off in the distance, I see a figure. It’s a shadow figure. It’s my mother. She’s walking towards me. I take a step into the forest, fearlessly ready to confront any overwhelming obstacle that comes my way(( This is a nice sentence that encapsulates the main theme of the essay.)) .

When I was a child, I used to play in the forest behind my house. Until one day when I caught my mom sneaking a cigarette outside. She tried to hide it behind her back, but I could see the smoke trailing over her head like a snail. I didn’t know what to do, so I ran farther into the forest. I am used to being disappointed by her. I ran and ran and ran until I tripped over a tree branch that fell in the storm the week before. I laid on the cold, hard ground. The back of me was soaked. Would I turn into my mom? After that, I decided to turn back. The cold was encroaching. I got home and saw my mom in the kitchen. We agreed not to speak of what I saw(( This paragraph could use some more details about what’s at stake: why does all of this matter? As readers, we need more information about the writer’s relationship with their mom to understand why this confrontation was so significant.)) .

While taking a history test, I looked around at my classmates. The gray desk was cold against my skin. I started counting the people around me, noting those who I knew well and those I had never really talked to. I looked at all the expensive backpacks and shoes. After our test, I asked the person next to me how she thought she did. She said it was a difficult test, and I agreed. Every class period, we’d talk more and more. We became friends. We started hanging out with another friend from biology class. We were inseparable, like three peas in a pod. We’d study together and hang out together and dance. They were the best friends I ever had. We liked to play soccer after school and sing loudly to music in my room. But one day it all stopped. They both stopped talking to me((It's not clear how this anecdote relates to the anecdote about the writer’s mother. The significance of the forest metaphor could also be drawn out more.)) . It was like I had been yanked out of the forest and thrown on to the forest floor. I became moss, the owls pecking at my spikey green tendrils. They found two other friends, and I sat alone at my desk in history again. It was like another test, but this time a history of my own.

Things went on like this for years. Over and over again I got put back into the forest. My friends who I thought were my friends actually were just drama machines. Life is foggy when you don’t know what’s going on. And I live in a forest that’s always foggy. Try as I might to find myself, it’s easy to get lost in all the trails and hills. I’m climbing a mountain each and every day. But I keep going back into the forest, looking for answers(( The return to the metaphor almost works here. But because the metaphor has gotten in the way of the main point, we need more explicit reflection to tie everything together.)) .

Word Count: 603

Admissions Officer Notes on Lost in the Forest

So. Writers know that college essays should be meaningful reflections and exercises in creative writing. But sometimes writers take this advice to the extreme and write essays that are too metaphorical and too focused on internal reflection.

This essay is the perfect example of what happens when a writer goes over the top with metaphor. The forest metaphor could be a useful tool given the writer’s topic, but as it is now, everything else gets lost within the metaphor. It’s difficult to extract what the writer actually says about their life.

The writer’s reflection is also deep and removed from specific examples. After reading the essay, I still don’t feel like I know the writer. The topic also changes halfway through the essay, so following the thread throughout is challenging.

What this essay does well:

  • Topic: Even though the writer’s topic switches in the middle of the essay, it’s clear that the topics are both meaningful to the writer. The first topic especially may still be grounds for a great college essay.
  • Vulnerability: The writer’s vulnerability shines through. They are willing to share an important part of themselves.

What the writer could improve upon:

  • Pick a main topic and stick with it: Part of what makes this essay challenging to follow is that it’s doing too many things at once. Narrowing the topic would help the writer focus all their thoughts on communicating one overall idea.
  • Use the metaphor sparingly: Remember that metaphors are best when used sparingly. Pulling off an overarching metaphor is very difficult, so it’s generally easier for writers to sprinkle in small references to the metaphor throughout. A great way to accomplish this is the “bookend technique,” where you introduce a metaphor in the introduction and return to it in the conclusion. 
  • Tighten up each paragraph : All of the paragraphs in this essay have a lot of information that doesn’t necessarily flow logically from one sentence to the next. My final recommendation would be to edit the paragraphs themselves for clarity. The writer should think about what information is essential and cut the rest.

College Essay Example #14: The Chemist

You(( There are always different opinions about addressing your reader. Sometimes it can work okay, but this instance doesn't work quite as well.)). may be wondering why I’ve taken so many chemistry classes. Well, that’s because I love chemistry. I used to hate chemistry with a fiery passion but now I love it more than anything. I remember that I used to struggle through every single chemistry assignment I ever got. My sister would try to help me but I’d just get upset, like I really just didn’t understand it and that was so frustrating so I just kept not wanting to do more but eventually I started to think “oh chemistry is at the foundation of everything that makes up our universe,” and isn’t that just fascinating?(( Whew—that was a long sentence! This is a run-on sentence, but we do learn about the writer’s primary motivation for studying chemistry.)) So then I decided to make a change and actually try to learn chemistry. I started paying attention in class and asking my teacher for help after class and finally one day my sister said, “Wow, you’re really improving.” And that meant so much to me. When my great-grandparents immigrated to the United States(( This reference is nice, but it's an abrupt topic change. It’s not clear why the writer is bringing up their great-grandparents.)) , they had no idea what would be in store for their great-grandkids. We really don’t learn chemistry in school until high school, so it’s no wonder I didn’t understand it in high school when I started taking it. Electrons and atoms and acids and alcohols. There’s so much to learn. I really have never been good at math so I’d say that’s one of my biggest challenges in chemistry now is learning how to do the equations and figuring out how the math works. In fifth grade I used to be in advanced math but then it just got worse from there until I learned about tutoring. I started doing tutoring through the high school when I was in ninth grade and it helped a lot because I just needed a little more help for each lesson to really understand it. But even with that the math part of chemistry is still hard for me. But I always keep trying! That’s the most important thing to me I think is to keep trying(( This is a good statement of values.)) . Even when problems are hard and I can’t solve them I try to have a good attitude because even if I can’t get it right, doing chemistry is about unlocking the secrets of the universe and that really is interesting even if you can’t completely understand them. When I started taking chemistry in my sophomore year I almost gave up but I was also really inspired by my teacher who guided me through everything. She gave me extra time to do my lab work and was even my lab partner a couple times because our class has an uneven number of students. My favorite part of chemistry lab is mixing solutions and testing them. I don’t like the lab report writing so much but I know it’s an important part. So I try to just get through that so I can get back to doing experiments and such. My favorite experiments was about building a calormieter to measure how many calories is in our food(( Pay attention to small errors and typos like this one.)) . Calories are energy so you burn your food to measure how much energy they have. Then you write up a report about how many calories each food item like bananas, bread, a cookie, had. The best part of doing labs is having your lab partner there with you. You’re both wearing goggles and lab coats and gloves and you feel really like a professional chemist and it’s nice that you’re not doing it alone. You just read the lab instructions and do each of the steps in order. It’s like baking a cake! You just follow the recipe. But you don’t eat the results! You might use beakers or bunsen burners to hold liquid or burn or heat up whatever it is you’re experimenting on. And when I say “find the meaning of the universe” I really mean it(( The writer is trying to return to a bigger reflection here, but the transition needs to be much smoother.)) . It’s amazing how much chemistry is in everything. Cooking is doing chemistry because you’re changing up the properties of the food. The air we breathe, the way plants get energy, the medicines we take, we understand it all because of chemistry. I know that becoming a chemist is hard work and isn’t easy. But I know that it’s rewarding and that’s why I want to do it. Helping people is so important to me and I think that chemistry can help me get there(( Here, we also learn about the writer’s values and motivations.)) . I also like the health and beauty industry and I think it would be fun to get to develop new products or perfumes or medicines.

Word Count: 746

Admissions Officer Notes on The Chemist

There’s no easy way to say it, but this essay just doesn’t meet the mark. That’s why it gets an F. It reads like a free write rather than an essay because it is stream-of-consciousness and doesn’t really make a clear point. I learn that the writer loves chemistry, but the overall message is not clear.

  • Ideas : All hope is not lost! Once we dig into what each sentence of the essay is saying, there are some good ideas that the writer can turn into a more cohesive topic.
  • Organization: I hesitate to make any extreme claims about college essays, but I feel pretty confident in saying that the vast majority of college essays should always be more than one paragraph. You need paragraphs to break up your thoughts into digestible chunks. Each paragraph should contain a single point you’re trying to convey to the reader. This writer should break all these ideas up into several paragraphs.
  • Theme: We see that the topic of the essay is chemistry, that chemistry is interesting because it’s the foundation of everything, and that chemistry can help people. But we don’t really get any deeper meaning from the writer. They haven’t made an attempt to be vulnerable or to show us something significant about themself.
  • Length: The essay is almost a hundred words over the word count. The writer needs to pare things down as they organize and clarify their ideas.

Supplemental Essay Examples

In addition to your personal statement, many colleges will also have you write what are called “supplemental essays.”

These essays do exactly as the name implies: they supplement your personal statement. They’re the perfect opportunity for you to tell admissions officers even more about yourself beyond the information you put in your personal statement. Specifically, ou can use them strategically to highlight even more of your strengths.

There are no universal supplemental essay prompts like there are for the Common Application personal statement.

Instead, colleges provide their own supplemental essay prompt(s) as part of their applications.

The good news, however, is that these prompts generally fall into a few common categories: Why Us, Community, Personal Challenge, Extracurricular Activities, Academic Interest, Diversity, and Why this Major prompts.

If you want to learn more about what these prompts entail, or about how to even write a supplemental essay in the first place, check out our complete guide to writing supplemental essays (it’s really good).

For now, let’s take a look at standout example essays for four of the most common supplemental prompt types.

Community Essay: The DIY-ers

Prompt from MIT: Describe the world you come from (for example, your family, school, community, city, or town). How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?

225 words or fewer"

I come from a family of do-it-yourselfers(( Straightforward but attention-grabbing. Nice!)) . In part, this lifestyle is one of necessity. Hiring professionals isn’t cheap, after all. But our DIY proclivities are also a product of a longstanding family tradition of ingenuity.

My first DIY was a fix on my Cozy Coupe, whose steering wheel had fallen off. Since then, my DIYs have become larger scale. With my dad, I’ve replaced loose bike chains, put in a new car clutch, and re-tiled our kitchen.

But our biggest DIY to date has been building a six-foot telescope(( Great topic choice that connects to the writer’s academic interests)) together. Made of scraps and spare parts, it’s not the most beautiful telescope. But our focus is on the stars anyway. My entire family has evening picnics, taking turns to look through the makeshift eyepiece. Occasionally the eyepiece falls off, and we all laugh(( I love the personality that emerges with this detail.)) as I run over to replace it.

Coming from a DIY family has made me self-reliant. And when the fixes just aren’t working, my dad reminds me to take a step back and think creatively about solutions. It’s from this mindset that my dream of being an environmental engineer has evolved(( The writer could get to this point sooner.)) .

I know that engineering isn’t just about fancy gadgets. It’s about ingenuity. I want to adapt my DIY ingenuity, mind and hand(( A cheeky nod to the school’s motto—interesting!)) , to even bigger projects that mitigate climate change and lead to a safer tomorrow(( I also like this gesture to the broader significance of their dreams and aspirations.)) .

Word Count: 220

Admissions Officer Notes

  • Topic: The writer has chosen a pretty interesting topic for this community essay that will most likely stand out among other candidates. More importantly, the community they’ve chosen to write about is one that they hold dear and have learned a lot from. The story connects in specific ways to who they are as a person and what their dreams and aspirations have come to be.
  • Growth: The prompt asks how the community has “shaped” your dreams and aspirations. This writer focuses on the progression of their aspirations while telling endearing stories about their relationship with their family members.
  • Future goals: The writer explicitly states how this community has shaped how and what they want to do in the future.

What it could improve on:

  • Pacing: Aside from describing your community, the main question of the prompt is how that community has shaped your dreams and aspirations. While the writer does get to an answer, they could spend more time in the essay focusing on that answer.

Diversity Essay: Bumpass

Prompt from Duke:  We seek a diverse student body that embodies the wide range of human experience. In that context, we are interested in what you’d like to share about your lived experiences and how they’ve influenced how you think of yourself.

There((A great, interesting hook that also jumps into a connection with Duke.)) are more traffic lights on the Duke University campus than there are in my entire hometown.

I don’t actually know how many traffic lights Duke has, but it’s a pretty safe bet that it has more than zero, which is how many we have here in Bumpass, Virginia.

Yes, Bumpass. Pronounced “bump-us”.

I’m from a weird little lake town in central Virginia((This paragraph gives us a clear picture of the writer's lived experiences.)) that has two types of residents: part-timers (that’s what we call them), mostly from DC, Richmond, or Charlottesville, with million-plus dollar homes on Lake Anna. They swim and boat on the private side of the lake, which is heated (yes, the lake is heated) by a nuclear power plant. And then there are families like mine. The locals. I’ve always thought “working class” was a nice way for rich people to call poor people poor, but that’s what we are. Families like mine clean the power plant. I’ve never swam in the private side, and our boat is a canoe.

Officially((And this paragraph gives us a good sense of how those lived experiences have influenced them.)) , I’ve had a job since my 16th birthday, which is the legal age in Virginia. But I’ve worked cleaning rental homes and fixing boats for part-timers with my uncle since I was old enough to use a Swiffer and turn a wrench. I’ve cleaned homes that cost more than my extended family’s combined net worth, but oddly I enjoy it. When I see inside their homes, I have something to aspire to, and that’s more than most of my hometown peers can say.

Success around here means making it through community college. Doing so in two years all without abusing alcohol or drugs? I don’t know many people who have done that. But I want to bring my Bumpass experience to Duke.((Nice job bringing the story back to the connection with Duke.)) I know how to rise before the sun and get a day’s worth of work in before noon. I know how to talk to goat farmers and postal workers (my best friend’s parents) just as well as neurosurgeons and pilots (my favorite part-timers whose docks I maintain in the off-season).

I’m looking forward to learning from the diverse body at Duke, making friends from around the world, and gaining a better understanding of the world beyond Bumpass((This conclusion ties the essay together nicely and communicates good school fit.)) .

  • Humor and personality: From the topic of the town’s name to the introduction, the writer uses humor (when appropriate) and clearly shows their own voice. They take an authentic approach to the diversity essay prompt. I feel like I know the student after reading this, which is always good.
  • School Connections: While there aren’t a ton of references to Duke here, the prompt doesn’t necessarily ask for them. The writer still does a good job connecting their lived experience to how they see themself at Duke.

Personal Challenge Essay: Tutoring Charlotte

Prompt from Brown: Brown’s culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words)

Asking Charlotte to answer a math question was like asking a cat to take a bath. Her resistance was almost instinctual. When I first met her, I had been doing after-school tutoring for about six months. The program paired up high school students with middle schoolers who were falling behind in their classes. Charlotte was my first student and biggest challenge(( Nice wording to make it abundantly clear that the writer is answering the prompt)) .

At first, her unwillingness to try came across as lazy(( This sentence gets at what the prompt is asking for: “a perspective that differed from your own”)) . I used everything I had in my tutoring arsenal. I encouraged her to give her confidence, and I even brought candy to bribe her. To my dismay, nothing worked. Each time I introduced a new problem, Charlotte simply refused.

My frustration grew so immense that I caught myself being curt with her. When I saw the look of betrayal in her eyes, I was ashamed at my impatience(( Here we have an inciting incident and growth that resulted from a realization. The writer begins to address the “how did you respond?” part of the prompt.)) . I realized that Charlotte’s struggles weren’t her fault. Math has always come easy to me. Whereas every math problem I encounter is like a code I’m excited to crack, Charlotte sees math problems as threats. After years of struggling, it’s no wonder that she stopped trying.

Once I understood that we approach math from different perspectives, I tried something new. I got rid of the math book and graph paper, and I brought out gummy bears. We did an algebra problem without her even knowing it. Together(( The writer zooms the focus out to a larger reflection about what they learned from this interaction. Nice.)) , we worked to overcome her fear of math. Along the way, I learned to teach the person, not the subject matter.

World Count: 247

  • Topic choice: Personal Challenge prompts can be some of the most difficult, especially if you don’t have a specific challenge you’ve faced in your life. This writer’s topic choice works great. They show that you don’t have to have a life-altering challenge to answer this prompt well.
  • Clear narrative: This prompt is a lengthy one, but the writer has clearly read it and used it to structure the story. As a reader, it’s easy to follow along as the writer identifies the problem, works toward a solution, overcomes hurdles, and eventually comes out successful in the end.
  • Connections: Different prompts require different levels of connections to the school. This writer incorporates some of Brown’s institutional values, but, especially since the prompt says so much about Brown’s community, the writer could have made more effort to connect their story to Brown.

Extracurricular Essay: Working Retail

Prompt from Vanderbilt:  Vanderbilt offers a community where students find balance between their academic and social experiences. Please briefly elaborate on how one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences has influenced you.

“ Would(( Beginning any essay with dialog can be hit or miss. But this is a hit. The dialog quickly captures the essence of working in retail and plops the reader directly into the writer’s extracurricular activity.)) you like another size? Sure thing, I’ll get a medium.”

“Are you interested in saving 10% today with an Old Navy Card? No, no worries…”

“I can clean the bathrooms if someone covers the fitting room!”

I didn’t expect much from my first job. Mostly, I expected to earn $12 an hour and improve my denim folding skills at Old Navy. I didn’t think I could learn so much about people and develop life skills.

As(( This paragraph could be a little more specific to the writer rather than their coworkers.))  odd as it may sound, retail work brought people together during COVID. I started in July of 2020. Our store had always met for monthly meetings, but everyone emphasized how much closer they’d become since the pandemic. Stepping up to cover someone’s shift when they got sick–or their spouse or child did–used to elicit a quick “thank you!”, but took on a more profound meaning in 2020. Though I started mid-pandemic, everyone I worked with remarked that, with a few notable exceptions, the overall demeanor of the clientele was much more empathetic. My coworkers seemed to go from sales associates to brave workers keeping the economy afloat overnight.

After about seven months of dutiful work, I was promoted(( The writer seamlessly incorporates the information that they earned a promotion after a relatively brief time of working at the store.)) to senior associate and had new responsibilities of closing and opening the store. Sure, I had dreams of working in an infectious disease lab. But having adults put real trust in me to account for several thousand dollars and secure a major outlet made me value and understand work perhaps even more than the research internship I missed out on(( I appreciate the perspective here. The writer makes a good argument for the importance of retail work, especially in relation to their academic interests.)) .

I am thankful for this opportunity to work and learn with a dedicated staff. Now, I look forward to pursuing more experiences that will relate to my career in biotech in college. Oh, and I won’t miss soliciting credit card sales with each purchase(( This humor bookends the essay wonderfully and adds some extra personality.)) !

  • Focus on strengths: Maintaining the right focus in extracurricular essays can be tricky. It can be easy to get caught up in the details of the activity and brag too much or not enough. Especially with extracurricular activities that aren’t based in competition, it can be challenging to draw out strengths. But this writer finds the perfect way to talk about their accomplishments and strengths (being promoted and being a team player) while also seeming personable and humble.
  • Connection to future goals : Importantly, the writer doesn’t just leave the story at their retail job. They show the admissions officer how they see this job as contributing toward their future goals.
  • Transitions: The transitions between paragraphs and into the detail about a future biotech career could be smoother.

Why this Major: Watchers

Prompt from USC: Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USC specifically. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (Approximately 250 words)

As a child(( I like how the writer takes a more creative approach to a standard “why this major” essay.)) , I always got in trouble for staring. My mom would nudge me whenever I looked at someone too long. My uncontrollable staring was an embarrassment for her, but it’s one of the things I love most about myself. Whereas some people are do-ers, I am a watcher, a listener, and a documenter(( We learn a lot about the writer’s personality here.)) . Like introverts and extroverts, the world needs both kinds of people.

Watchers have an admirable task: to see what exists and give it meaning. That’s exactly what I want to do while pursuing my academic interests in anthropology(( And at this point, we jump quickly into the connections between the opening story and the writer’s academic interests. )) . In particular, I’m interested in learning about art, language, and culture in Russia. Pursuing a research career in anthropology would open up opportunities for me to do research for government offices and move toward my ultimate goal(( Incorporating a future goal that they’re working towards is an effective approach.)) of working for the United Nations.

As(( This paragraph has a number of specific, detailed, and relevant connections to the school.)) a Visual Anthropology and Russian double major at USC, I would hone my social scientist skills and improve my Russian language abilities. I’m also eager to participate in a directed internship and to connect with fellow watchers in the Anthropology and Global Studies club. The Center for Visual Anthropology, minor in Folklore and Popular Culture, and the anthropology-focused study abroad opportunity in St. Petersburg all converge to make USC the ideal place for me to learn.

With USC’s global focus and emphasis on creativity, research, and public service, I know that I could develop my watching skills into a successful anthropology career(( And the writer concludes by drawing on some of the institution’s core values, which helps ground all of those disparate connections into something meaningful that the writer aligns themself with.)) .

  • Writing style and storytelling: This essay shows that supplemental essays don’t have to be boring. The writer opens with an interesting hook and writes about their major interest in a compelling way.
  • School research and connections: The writer does a good job specifically answering the “how you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USC” part of the prompt. It’s clear that they’ve done their research, and the connections they’ve chosen to focus on make sense in the context of the story they’ve told. They also incorporate school values in addition to simple facts.
  • Writing about school connections : To take this essay to the next level, the student could write about the school connections in a slightly more elegant way. As they are now, they feel quite list-like.

Academic Interest: Everyday History

Prompt from Barnard: At Barnard, academic inquiry starts with bold questions. What are some of the bold questions you have pondered that get you excited and why do they interest you? Tell us how you would explore these questions at Barnard. (max 300)

As I walked through the ancient city of Pompeii(( This is a beautiful hook that stops and makes the reader think, too.)) on a family vacation, I thought about the children. I imagined how scared they must have been when the volcano erupted, how they must have reached out to their caregivers for protection. When a large group of people mobbed through the alley next to us, I reached out to my own mother(( With a simple phrase, the writer shows the connection between themself and the people of the past who have captured their attention.)) as an anchor.

What interests me most about history is that the people of the past(( The writer adeptly transitions from a poetic introduction to a straightforward answer to the prompt.)) were just like us. They had likes and dislikes, they became frightened and love-struck and tired. While the history of royalty and great wars captures most people’s attention, what I want to study is the history of everyday people.

What(( These questions respond exactly to what the prompt is asking for. )) was it like to be a child in Pompeii? How did prisoners feel on their way to Australia? What kinds of recipes did the Aztecs cook?

I know that with Barnard’s culture of multidisciplinarity, discovery, and creative thinking, I’d be able to pursue these questions and more(( The writer draws on Barnard’s own values and connects their interests, goals, and questions to specific offerings at Barnard.)) . In classes like Gender and Empire, I’ll learn about the ways European expansion was gendered. And in Children and Childhood in African History or Reproducing Inequalities: Family in Latin American History, I’ll be able to ask questions about the history of the family: How have family structures varied across time and place? What historical role have children played? In what ways have parenting practices changed and why?

While they may seem inconsequential for life today, I believe that answering these questions helps us better understand ourselves. With Barnard’s Building Strong Voices(( And they also reference out-of-the-classroom opportunities.)) mission, I’ll learn how to present my research and advocate for the importance of history.

The world needs more histories of everyday people. We have a lot to learn from them, and Barnard’s offerings will help me lead us to better historical and current understandings(( With this conclusion, it’s clear how Barnard will help the writer accomplish their goals. )) .

Word Count: 299

  • Introduction: Academic interest essays are your chance to go all-in. The introduction to this essay does just that. We’re immediately transported into this writer’s academic interest, and we begin to ask these questions alongside them.
  • Answering all parts of the prompt: This can be a tricky feat when responding to complex prompts like Barnard’s. But this writer does just that. They tackle each part of the prompt in order, and they make clear transitions between them.

College Essay Example Takeaways

Whether you’re writing a personal statement or supplemental essay, reading and analyzing college essay examples is an important tool. Good examples can give you insight into the proper form and structure to use. And bad examples can be just as helpful by showing you what not to do.

All admissions officers will approach your college essays from different perspectives. But hopefully the grades and comments—provided by our team of former admissions officers and professional writing coaches—have helped you understand what works, what doesn’t work, and why.

As you’ve seen, there are so many essays, topics, personalities, approaches—you can write a college essay about almost anything.

Remember that the key to any successful college application is a cohesive application narrative . 

And if you want to take your own college essays to the next level, join the Essay Academy for an entire course of professional guidance.

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Example of a Great Essay | Explanations, Tips & Tricks

Published on February 9, 2015 by Shane Bryson . Revised on July 23, 2023 by Shona McCombes.

This example guides you through the structure of an essay. It shows how to build an effective introduction , focused paragraphs , clear transitions between ideas, and a strong conclusion .

Each paragraph addresses a single central point, introduced by a topic sentence , and each point is directly related to the thesis statement .

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Other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about writing an essay, an appeal to the senses: the development of the braille system in nineteenth-century france.

The invention of Braille was a major turning point in the history of disability. The writing system of raised dots used by visually impaired people was developed by Louis Braille in nineteenth-century France. In a society that did not value disabled people in general, blindness was particularly stigmatized, and lack of access to reading and writing was a significant barrier to social participation. The idea of tactile reading was not entirely new, but existing methods based on sighted systems were difficult to learn and use. As the first writing system designed for blind people’s needs, Braille was a groundbreaking new accessibility tool. It not only provided practical benefits, but also helped change the cultural status of blindness. This essay begins by discussing the situation of blind people in nineteenth-century Europe. It then describes the invention of Braille and the gradual process of its acceptance within blind education. Subsequently, it explores the wide-ranging effects of this invention on blind people’s social and cultural lives.

Lack of access to reading and writing put blind people at a serious disadvantage in nineteenth-century society. Text was one of the primary methods through which people engaged with culture, communicated with others, and accessed information; without a well-developed reading system that did not rely on sight, blind people were excluded from social participation (Weygand, 2009). While disabled people in general suffered from discrimination, blindness was widely viewed as the worst disability, and it was commonly believed that blind people were incapable of pursuing a profession or improving themselves through culture (Weygand, 2009). This demonstrates the importance of reading and writing to social status at the time: without access to text, it was considered impossible to fully participate in society. Blind people were excluded from the sighted world, but also entirely dependent on sighted people for information and education.

In France, debates about how to deal with disability led to the adoption of different strategies over time. While people with temporary difficulties were able to access public welfare, the most common response to people with long-term disabilities, such as hearing or vision loss, was to group them together in institutions (Tombs, 1996). At first, a joint institute for the blind and deaf was created, and although the partnership was motivated more by financial considerations than by the well-being of the residents, the institute aimed to help people develop skills valuable to society (Weygand, 2009). Eventually blind institutions were separated from deaf institutions, and the focus shifted towards education of the blind, as was the case for the Royal Institute for Blind Youth, which Louis Braille attended (Jimenez et al, 2009). The growing acknowledgement of the uniqueness of different disabilities led to more targeted education strategies, fostering an environment in which the benefits of a specifically blind education could be more widely recognized.

Several different systems of tactile reading can be seen as forerunners to the method Louis Braille developed, but these systems were all developed based on the sighted system. The Royal Institute for Blind Youth in Paris taught the students to read embossed roman letters, a method created by the school’s founder, Valentin Hauy (Jimenez et al., 2009). Reading this way proved to be a rather arduous task, as the letters were difficult to distinguish by touch. The embossed letter method was based on the reading system of sighted people, with minimal adaptation for those with vision loss. As a result, this method did not gain significant success among blind students.

Louis Braille was bound to be influenced by his school’s founder, but the most influential pre-Braille tactile reading system was Charles Barbier’s night writing. A soldier in Napoleon’s army, Barbier developed a system in 1819 that used 12 dots with a five line musical staff (Kersten, 1997). His intention was to develop a system that would allow the military to communicate at night without the need for light (Herron, 2009). The code developed by Barbier was phonetic (Jimenez et al., 2009); in other words, the code was designed for sighted people and was based on the sounds of words, not on an actual alphabet. Barbier discovered that variants of raised dots within a square were the easiest method of reading by touch (Jimenez et al., 2009). This system proved effective for the transmission of short messages between military personnel, but the symbols were too large for the fingertip, greatly reducing the speed at which a message could be read (Herron, 2009). For this reason, it was unsuitable for daily use and was not widely adopted in the blind community.

Nevertheless, Barbier’s military dot system was more efficient than Hauy’s embossed letters, and it provided the framework within which Louis Braille developed his method. Barbier’s system, with its dashes and dots, could form over 4000 combinations (Jimenez et al., 2009). Compared to the 26 letters of the Latin alphabet, this was an absurdly high number. Braille kept the raised dot form, but developed a more manageable system that would reflect the sighted alphabet. He replaced Barbier’s dashes and dots with just six dots in a rectangular configuration (Jimenez et al., 2009). The result was that the blind population in France had a tactile reading system using dots (like Barbier’s) that was based on the structure of the sighted alphabet (like Hauy’s); crucially, this system was the first developed specifically for the purposes of the blind.

While the Braille system gained immediate popularity with the blind students at the Institute in Paris, it had to gain acceptance among the sighted before its adoption throughout France. This support was necessary because sighted teachers and leaders had ultimate control over the propagation of Braille resources. Many of the teachers at the Royal Institute for Blind Youth resisted learning Braille’s system because they found the tactile method of reading difficult to learn (Bullock & Galst, 2009). This resistance was symptomatic of the prevalent attitude that the blind population had to adapt to the sighted world rather than develop their own tools and methods. Over time, however, with the increasing impetus to make social contribution possible for all, teachers began to appreciate the usefulness of Braille’s system (Bullock & Galst, 2009), realizing that access to reading could help improve the productivity and integration of people with vision loss. It took approximately 30 years, but the French government eventually approved the Braille system, and it was established throughout the country (Bullock & Galst, 2009).

Although Blind people remained marginalized throughout the nineteenth century, the Braille system granted them growing opportunities for social participation. Most obviously, Braille allowed people with vision loss to read the same alphabet used by sighted people (Bullock & Galst, 2009), allowing them to participate in certain cultural experiences previously unavailable to them. Written works, such as books and poetry, had previously been inaccessible to the blind population without the aid of a reader, limiting their autonomy. As books began to be distributed in Braille, this barrier was reduced, enabling people with vision loss to access information autonomously. The closing of the gap between the abilities of blind and the sighted contributed to a gradual shift in blind people’s status, lessening the cultural perception of the blind as essentially different and facilitating greater social integration.

The Braille system also had important cultural effects beyond the sphere of written culture. Its invention later led to the development of a music notation system for the blind, although Louis Braille did not develop this system himself (Jimenez, et al., 2009). This development helped remove a cultural obstacle that had been introduced by the popularization of written musical notation in the early 1500s. While music had previously been an arena in which the blind could participate on equal footing, the transition from memory-based performance to notation-based performance meant that blind musicians were no longer able to compete with sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997). As a result, a tactile musical notation system became necessary for professional equality between blind and sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997).

Braille paved the way for dramatic cultural changes in the way blind people were treated and the opportunities available to them. Louis Braille’s innovation was to reimagine existing reading systems from a blind perspective, and the success of this invention required sighted teachers to adapt to their students’ reality instead of the other way around. In this sense, Braille helped drive broader social changes in the status of blindness. New accessibility tools provide practical advantages to those who need them, but they can also change the perspectives and attitudes of those who do not.

Bullock, J. D., & Galst, J. M. (2009). The Story of Louis Braille. Archives of Ophthalmology , 127(11), 1532. https://​doi.org/10.1001/​archophthalmol.2009.286.

Herron, M. (2009, May 6). Blind visionary. Retrieved from https://​eandt.theiet.org/​content/​articles/2009/05/​blind-visionary/.

Jiménez, J., Olea, J., Torres, J., Alonso, I., Harder, D., & Fischer, K. (2009). Biography of Louis Braille and Invention of the Braille Alphabet. Survey of Ophthalmology , 54(1), 142–149. https://​doi.org/10.1016/​j.survophthal.2008.10.006.

Kersten, F.G. (1997). The history and development of Braille music methodology. The Bulletin of Historical Research in Music Education , 18(2). Retrieved from https://​www.jstor.org/​stable/40214926.

Mellor, C.M. (2006). Louis Braille: A touch of genius . Boston: National Braille Press.

Tombs, R. (1996). France: 1814-1914 . London: Pearson Education Ltd.

Weygand, Z. (2009). The blind in French society from the Middle Ages to the century of Louis Braille . Stanford: Stanford University Press.

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An essay is a focused piece of writing that explains, argues, describes, or narrates.

In high school, you may have to write many different types of essays to develop your writing skills.

Academic essays at college level are usually argumentative : you develop a clear thesis about your topic and make a case for your position using evidence, analysis and interpretation.

The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.

The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.

Your essay introduction should include three main things, in this order:

  • An opening hook to catch the reader’s attention.
  • Relevant background information that the reader needs to know.
  • A thesis statement that presents your main point or argument.

The length of each part depends on the length and complexity of your essay .

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

A topic sentence is a sentence that expresses the main point of a paragraph . Everything else in the paragraph should relate to the topic sentence.

At college level, you must properly cite your sources in all essays , research papers , and other academic texts (except exams and in-class exercises).

Add a citation whenever you quote , paraphrase , or summarize information or ideas from a source. You should also give full source details in a bibliography or reference list at the end of your text.

The exact format of your citations depends on which citation style you are instructed to use. The most common styles are APA , MLA , and Chicago .

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An Ozempic Relative Slowed Parkinson’s Disease in a Small Study

The trial lasted only one year but offered embers of hope to some experts.

A person holding a GLP-1 medication in Raleigh.

By Gina Kolata

In 1817, James Parkinson expressed a hope about the disease that is named after him. He thought that at some point there would be a discovery and “the progress of the disease may be stopped.”

Now, nearly 200 years since Parkinson expressed his hope, and after four decades of unsuccessful clinical trials, a group of French researchers reports the first glimmer of success — a modest slowing of the disease in a one-year study.

And the drug they used? A so-called GLP-1 receptor agonist, similar to the wildly popular drugs Ozempic, for diabetes, and Wegovy, for obesity .

As many as half a million Americans have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, a degenerative brain illness second only to Alzheimer’s in prevalence.

Symptoms include tremors, slowness and stiffness, and difficulty with balance. That can lead to difficulty walking, talking and swallowing. Many patients develop dementia.

But there are drugs and treatments, like deep brain stimulation, that help, said Dr. David Standaert, a Parkinson’s expert at the University of Alabama at Birmingham.

“You will look and feel much better,” Dr. Standaert said. The problem is that the disease inexorably progresses.

“When you get five or 10 years into Parkinson’s, a lot of problems emerge,” he said.

The new study gave researchers cautious hope.

It is not a slam dunk, but it is “nibbling at the edges of disease modification,” said Dr. Michael S. Okun, a Parkinson’s disease expert at the University of Florida who was not involved in the study.

Dr. Standaert, who also was not involved in the trial, said it was “a really encouraging step forward.”

“There were so many trials that showed no success,” he added.

Dr. Hyun Joo Cho at the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke said the study was “very important” but cautioned that it was a Phase 2 study, designed to test a hypothesis but not big enough or long enough to be definitive.

“There are many many examples of very promising Phase 2 trials,” she said. “People get very excited, and then it doesn’t pan out.”

The paper , published Wednesday in The New England Journal of Medicine, involved 156 people with early Parkinson’s disease who were randomly assigned to take the drug — lixisenatide, made by Sanofi — or a placebo and followed for a year. The trial was funded by the French government and Cure Parkinson’s, a British charity.

During that time, Parkinson’s symptoms like tremor, stiffness, slowness and balance worsened in those taking the placebo but not in those taking the drug.

The drug also caused gastrointestinal side effects like nausea and vomiting in more than half of the participants, perhaps because the researchers started with the highest dose instead of gradually increasing it as is done with GLP-1 drugs like Ozempic or Wegovy. In a third of participants, whose side effects became intolerable, the researchers halved their dose.

For the European researchers, led by Dr. Wassilios G. Meissner of the University of Bordeaux and Dr. Olivier Rascol of the University of Toulouse, it made sense to see if a GLP-1 drug could slow Parkinson’s.

Studies have repeatedly found that people with Type 2 diabetes are at increased risk for Parkinson’s disease, Dr. Rascol said. But that increased risk declines in those who take a GLP-1 drug to treat their diabetes.

He added that post-mortem studies of brain tissue from Parkinson’s patients had found abnormalities related to insulin resistance, even though the patients did not have diabetes. GLP-1 drugs treat insulin resistance.

Finally, he said, GLP-1 drugs can attach to proteins in neurons, so they may affect the brain in different ways.

The French group says it wants to do a larger and longer study if it can get funding, and if it can get more of the drug. At the start of this year, Sanofi withdrew the drug in the U.S. and said it has started withdrawing it worldwide. The move was made for business reasons, a company spokesman said.

But what about Parkinson’s patients who have diabetes or obesity? They are eligible for a GLP-1 drug. Should they take one in the hopes it will slow their Parkinson’s?

“It is reasonable” for them to take the drugs, said Dr. Standaert, who wrote an editorial accompanying the study.

But, he cautioned, they will not be able to tell if the drugs have caused their disease progression to slow because they won’t know what would have happened if they had not taken it.

“We won’t learn anything from it,” he said.

An earlier version of this article misspelled a doctor’s surname. She is Dr. Hyun Joo Cho, not Chu.

How we handle corrections

Gina Kolata reports on diseases and treatments, how treatments are discovered and tested, and how they affect people. More about Gina Kolata

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    Tip 4: Provide Enough Space in the Slam Book. When creating a slam-book, you must provide enough space for your friends to answer each question. You don't want them to feel cramped or restricted when writing their responses. Ensure that there is enough space for them to write their answers comfortably. Example: Leave ample space between each ...

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    For example, slam books have existed for decades, and some news sites think it's entertaining to see what people were writing in slam books in the 1980s. It could be fun to do a new slam book every year. You could even note the year on the cover of the slam book. Let it become a ritual, and compare how people's tastes change with new trends ...

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    1. Choose the perfect notebook: Find a notebook that suits your taste and preference. It could be plain or colorful, lined or unlined—anything that catches your eye. 2. Decorate the cover: Personalize the slam book by designing its cover. You can use stickers, paint, washi tape, or just doodle to create a unique look. 3.

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    25 Slam Poetry Examples (Plus Explanation and History) Exciting, interactive, and inspiring for all ages. Amina Iro/Hannah Halpern via YouTube. By Jill Staake, B.S., Secondary ELA Education. Mar 18, 2024. Poetry has come a long way since Horatian odes and Shakespearean sonnets. While these types of poems can be a hard sell in the classroom ...

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    Essay On The Book Slam. In the book "Slam" the main character is Greg "Slam" Harris hence the name of the book "Slam". Slam has to go through many obstacles throughout book with starting at a new school, his academics, his personal/ love life and also his daily home life. On the bright side he doesn't let all those things mess ...

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  16. What are examples of similes and metaphors in Slam! by Walter Dean

    Cite. In this book that shows the triumph of the human spirit against impossible odds, there are plenty of examples of similes and metaphors in the way that Slam talks about his life and the ...

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    1 The Basics. Name and Nickname: Begin by writing your full name and nickname, as this helps to set the stage for the rest of the slam book. Nicknames often hold a special meaning, so don't forget to share the story behind yours. Age, School, and College: Mention your age, the school you attended, and the college you're currently enrolled ...

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    Slam book questions can be designed to foster adaptability by asking about experiences related to change and growth. Questions like "Share a time when you had to quickly adjust to unexpected challenges" prompt team members to reflect on their adaptability and encourage a mindset of resilience. 24.

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    The mixture of written assignments you might get while studying Slam is stunning. If some are too challenging, an expertly crafted sample Slam piece on a related topic might lead you out of a deadlock. This is when you will definitely recognize WowEssays.com ever-expanding collection of Slam essay samples meant to ignite your writing enthusiasm.

  22. Example of a Great Essay

    This essay begins by discussing the situation of blind people in nineteenth-century Europe. It then describes the invention of Braille and the gradual process of its acceptance within blind education. Subsequently, it explores the wide-ranging effects of this invention on blind people's social and cultural lives.

  23. (Text analysis) the poem Slam, Dunk Hook a poem by Yusef ...

    The second example of allusion is in lines 8-10, "we could almost last forever, poised in midair like storybook sea monsters." This is significant because it describes the players jumping high as they play, but the surprise comes immediately in the following line when he compares the players to "storybook sea monsters" through the use ...

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