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Eves Song Analysis Love is Blind

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Published: Mar 25, 2024

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an essay about love is blind

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'Love is Blind' says it's an experiment. Scientists say attraction is more arbitrary

Mansee Khurana headshot

Mansee Khurana

an essay about love is blind

In the popular reality TV show Love is Blind, contestants date each other while in "pods" where they cannot see each other. Netflix hide caption

In the popular reality TV show Love is Blind, contestants date each other while in "pods" where they cannot see each other.

Netflix wraps up its sixth season of its popular reality TV show Love is Blind tomorrow with a highly anticipated reunion show. The show, which bills itself as a "social experiment," gathers contestants together who all seemingly believe in the premise that love is not based on physical appearance – and is instead based on a deep, intimate connection with another person.

In the show, men and women all "date" for about a week without ever seeing each other. To keep the contestants hidden from their possible love matches, they each conduct their dates inside a separate pod,with a wall separating them. After their week of "dating" is complete, the couples can choose to get engaged, after which they finally get to see each other.

Despite its far-fetched premise, the show is a hit – with the series being the most-watched reality show on Netflix in 2023 .

The success rate of its dating formula for contestants is also higher than other dating-focused reality TV shows like The Bachelor or Love Island . In six seasons, Love is Blind has made eight successful couples, while The Bachelor franchise has only had six.

The secret to lasting love might just be knowing how to fight

So does that mean love really is blind? Well, according to anthropologists and psychologists who study attraction, romantic love is based more on unique and distinctive characteristics than just physical attraction.

"Often, when we're talking about the question 'is love blind,' we're actually talking about our tendency to overlook certain qualities in a person when we're in love,". Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and the author of the book "Anatomy of Love."

But the possible idealizing of your partner in the early stages of dating doesn't mean you can completely ignore physical attraction. It plays an important role in the steps leading up to long-term, romantic love.

an essay about love is blind

Abhishek Chatterjee and Deepti Vempati in season 2 of "Love Is Blind." Patrick Wymore/Netflix hide caption

Abhishek Chatterjee and Deepti Vempati in season 2 of "Love Is Blind."

In season five of the show, newly engaged couple Abhishek "Shake" Chatterjee and Deepti Vempati begin having trouble after exiting the "pods," where two couldn't see each other. Chatterjee, repeatedly tells other contestants on the show that he's not physically attracted to Vempati.

"It feels like I'm with my aunt or something," Chatterjee tells Jarette Jones, another contestant on the show.

Vempati ultimately calls the engagement off after multiple people, including Chatterjee's mother, tell her that she deserves better. Her decision to end the engagement was also influenced by her realizing that Chatterjee had been making comments about her behind her back. In the last episode of the season, Vempati revealed that she also had reservations about their physical chemistry, since Chatterjee wasn't someone who was normally her "physical type."

Romantic advice (regardless of your relationship status)

Romantic advice (regardless of your relationship status)

"I don't fault Shake for not finding me physically attractive or having that chemistry," she said in the season two finale of the show. "Like, you can't really fault someone for that."

That doesn't mean that couples have to see each other to develop romantic feelings for each other, Paul Eastwick, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis told NPR's Leila Fadel. After all, there are many instances of people having successful relationships without having seen the person first. But, people do desire romantic partners they personally find physically attractive.

"It can change the way you see someone," Eastwick told NPR's Morning Edition.

an essay about love is blind

Cameron Hamilton and Lauren Speed attend a Love Is Blind screening in Atlanta. Paras Griffin/Getty Images hide caption

Cameron Hamilton and Lauren Speed attend a Love Is Blind screening in Atlanta.

In Eastwick's own research, he's proposed that there are fourteen core principles needed to study close relationships. None of these have to do with physical features, but rather things like cultural norms, responses to stress and the opportunities that partners have to integrate each other into their lives.

Relationships are also built on the unique patterns of partners that are created when two people decide to pursue a relationship.

"Love is idiosyncratic," Eastwick said. "It's based on your experience with another person."

There are signs that physical attraction changes as a relationship progresses. This shift in physical attraction includes couples reporting that they have less sex as they get older, though that doesn't mean that the two don't find each other physically attractive at all.

"Usually, couples still think their partner is the most attractive person in the room," Eastwick said. "Because they know that's their person."

Couples who have gotten married after meeting on Love is Blind have talked about how their relationship changed after they saw each other for the first time.

Cameron Hamilton, who was on the very first season of Love is Blind , called it a dream to be able to finally meet his fiancee, Lauren Speed Hamilton, for the first time.

"I'm not just in love with how gorgeous she is, but the person she is," Hamilton said on the show.

In an interview with Tamron Hall, his now wife, Speed Hamilton, said that the experience helped them keep their emotional connection at the forefront of their relationship.

"The way that we met each other, since we couldn't see each other, so it was all about conversation, we just kind of kept that going throughout our marriage," she told Hall.

The two are still together, and celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary in November 2023.

Speed-Hamilton admitted that before she saw her future husband, she was nervous that she wouldn't find him attractive. However, she was willing to give it a try because of the relationship they had developed before they had even seen each other.

"Sometimes, attraction grows," she said. "There is nothing more attractive than someone who treats you right and loves you properly."

The audio version of this story was produced by Ben Abrams. It was edited by Ashley Westerman.

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Is Love “Blind”?

A photo of a silhouette of a woman behind a screen from the show "Love is Blind"

Only two out of five couples committed to marriage on the Netflix reality show Love Is Blind , leading the show’s fans to question whether the show’s love experiment was a success. Courtesy of Netflix

With the Netflix show Love Is Blind topping the charts, a BU anthropologist weighs in on the idea of falling in love without ever setting eyes on someone

Jessica colarossi.

Although they were strangers just hours before, five couples on the new Netflix hit series Love Is Blind agree to get engaged to a person they have never seen before. 

Over the course of the next 38 days, the couples go through a whirlwind together, including a romantic getaway to Mexico, moving in together, meeting one another’s families, planning a wedding, and finally, walking down the aisle. In many ways, Love Is Blind is like every reality dating show, with inevitable drama and high-flying romance. But the fascination with this one is the creators’ attempt to eliminate the superficiality of dating by having people talk through a thin wall from separate rooms—called pods—and decide to get engaged without ever having laid eyes on each other, a process they call the “experiment.” 

“There’s this vicarious fascination,” says Nancy J. Smith-Hefner , a Boston University College of Arts & Sciences professor and chair of anthropology, who researches courtship, marriage, gender, and sexuality; she watched Love Is Blind before our interview for this story. She’s familiar with similar shows, like 90 Day Fiancé and Married at First Sight . “You watch other people trying these radical experiments—in most cases leading to disaster,” she says.

In the end, only two of five couples ultimately make it down the aisle, with the other three falling apart at the altar in front of their loved ones. After the weddings, the creators of the show once again ask the central, driving question: is love blind? 

“We’ve known for a long time people have had pen pals and have perhaps fallen in love over a long period of time,” says Smith-Hefner. But in Love Is Blind, the participants don’t have the luxury of time, nor do they know the physical appearance of the person they are talking to from their pod, an important factor of lasting romance that Smith-Hefner says is often  oversimplified.

“In anthropology, we say you fall in love with the person’s habitus, which is another way of saying you fall in love with the person’s embodied dispositions, as a projection of their personality,” she says. A person’s habitus, she explains, is linked to one’s class background, upbringing, and religiosity, whether a person is modest, flirtatious, open, or shy. “All of those things are aspects of personality that come across through appearance, but they’re not necessarily related to conventional aspects of beauty.”  

When you’re working with big emotions, it’s imagination working in overdrive. So whether or not it’s lasting love, we don’t know. —Nancy Smith-Hefner 

There are a significant number of studies indicating that people tend to be attracted to others who share a socioeconomic background similar to their own, she adds, so “what we sometimes might think of as ‘love at first sight,’ or ‘blind love,’ can in fact be that we’re focusing on cues that the person is projecting that say something about their background and upbringing.” 

Beyond attraction itself, building a healthy relationship is much more complex. Smith-Hefner has been studying the complexities of relationships and marriage in Indonesia for over 35 years, documenting the country’s massive social, cultural, and religious shifts within the context of interpersonal relationships. Her forthcoming book, Waithood: Gender, Education, and Global Delays in Marriage (Berghahn, October 2020), explores the recent phenomenon of women and men around the world waiting to marry much later in life compared to past generations. 

“In the United States, we know marriage still remains an ideal; it’s just that finding someone is becoming more difficult,” she says. “These reality shows focus on the fears that many people have that they’ll never find the ideal partner.”  

In the urban areas of Indonesia, where she spoke with hundreds of young people and college students for her book, Smith-Hefner found formal matchmaking services becoming increasingly popular and reliable avenues for finding a match. These services, many with religious roots, ask myriad questions about a person’s background, education, economic stability, spiritual beliefs, and other personal qualities that are more practical than emotional. 

“The assumption is that you may know much less about this person sexually or emotionally before you marry,” she says, “but that love will grow out of sharing basic elements of background,” adding that this applies to matchmaking services across different cultures and religions. On Love Is Blind, many of the participants didn’t mention having debt, tough family dynamics, or a preferred living situation until just a few days before the wedding. 

“I don’t know if this is because of the producers’ influence or the editing, but a lot of the focus of conversation is on emotion…big emotions and sharing emotions and feeling emotions,” with very little focus on compromise, decision-making, or how to work through problems together, Smith-Hefner says. It’s something she found puzzling, but also reflective of today’s dating culture in the United States, which centers on the need for deep emotional bonds more than other societies she’s researched around the world.

“Americans in some ways have reified this idea of big emotions and emotional connection, and the discourse of Love Is Blind is somehow [suggesting that] the focus on physical appearance is what’s getting in the way,” she says. 

Yet, the participants seem to care a lot about their own appearance and conform to the beauty ideals typified by American television and film. This, Smith-Hefner says, does not set the stage for a successful experiment and only reinforces the societal focus on conventional beauty standards—not to mention the show’s emphasis on heterosexual marriage to the exclusion of other possibilities. 

Despite the faulty experiment, one of the two couples who got married, Amber and Barnett, are still together a year after filming the show, crediting their bond to the unconventional way they met. 

“When you’re working with big emotions, it’s imagination working in overdrive,” says Smith-Hefner. “So whether or not it’s lasting love, we don’t know.”

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Jessica Colarossi is a science writer for The Brink . She graduated with a BS in journalism from Emerson College in 2016, with focuses on environmental studies and publishing. While a student, she interned at ThinkProgress in Washington, D.C., where she wrote over 30 stories, most of them relating to climate change, coral reefs, and women’s health. Profile

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How “Love Is Blind” Transcends the Norms of Reality Television

By Miranda Popkey

Jessica and Mark stand at the altar.

One of the pleasures afforded by the realist novel is the illusion of intimacy. Alone in the bath or surrounded by others at a party: the novel, at least in theory, can disclose a character in either situation with equal ease. The only thoughts a character can keep to herself are those her author decides not to reveal. From how many people in our actual lives can we expect a similar level of physical, emotional, intellectual access?

The illusion of intimacy was promised also, at least initially, by a certain kind of reality show. Trap a group of participants in a house, limit their access to the outside world, furnish them with alcohol, and turn the cameras on: surely, eventually, the secret truth of the human animal would be captured on film. But even on television the laws of physics pertain: the person under observation is necessarily changed by it. And those who choose to appear on reality television are further transformed by the knowledge of the change that observation can provoke—and also the opportunities that it can provide.

As a naturally anxious person forever worried that her own instinctive behaviors are in fact deviant, I can think of nothing more intriguing, nor reassuring, than the opportunity to intrude so completely on another’s person’s privacy. Unfortunately, the fiction that these programs are capturing anything resembling “reality” is now almost impossible to manufacture. Participants on reality television shows now know both what to expect (isolation, sleep deprivation, misleading edits) and what is expected of them (tears, fights, anything else that might fall under the rubric of “drama”). Consciously or unconsciously, they tailor their behavior accordingly. It sounds like a tautology, but it’s not: only people who want to be on reality television now appear on reality television.

The fifteen men and fifteen women of Netflix’s reality show “ Love Is Blind ” defy this truism. Each seems driven by what reads as a genuine desire to find a romantic partner. In place of coherent personalities, we have people, various and inconsistent, acting out of fear, or lust, or hope, lying to themselves and others, and developing, in some cases, what appears to be true affection for one another.

Sitting in adjacent rooms that the show and its participants insist on calling “pods,” couples speak to but are unable to see one another. (This makes “Love Is Blind” accidentally perfect for life in the time of a global pandemic . Now that we’re being cautioned to both to distance ourselves physically and keep in touch digitally, watching people communicate in isolation, through an impermeable barrier, looks less like an attention-getting premise and more like our inevitable future.) Across an opaque blue wall—“It looks,” one cast member remarks, “like a scene from ‘Frozen’ ”—over a handful of days, men and women (the pairings are designed to be heterosexual) exchange pleasantries, build intimacy, say “I love you.” Only after a proposal is offered and accepted does a couple get to meet face to face. The wedding dates are set for four weeks later.

The conceit speaks to the state of modern romance. Reading this thoughtful BuzzFeed essay about a man whose boyfriend breaks up with him three days after making their partnership official, I wondered whether getting engaged to someone on camera, sight-unseen, might, in fact, be preferable to enduring app-enabled (and -perverted) rituals of real-world dating. The format guarantees a certain amount of transparency. On another franchise, a cast member may choose to consciously sacrifice sympathy in pursuit of fame; on “Love Is Blind,” if you don’t get engaged, you’re gone by the third episode.

Some combination of these factors has resulted in a show that privileges calm authenticity. A surprising number of the men on “Love Is Blind” turn out to be preternaturally emotionally literate, though they tend to describe their feelings slowly and deliberately, as if submerged under several metres of water, or just emerging from sedation. Lauren, a thirty-two-year-old content creator who pairs off early with Cameron, a twenty-eight-year-old scientist (each cast member is tagged with a precise age and a vague occupation), has the confidence and self-possession to tell her fiancé, the day before their wedding, that she isn’t sure she’ll be able to say “I do” when the time comes. (As it turns out, she was; the couple remains married.)

And, unlike other reality offerings, “Love Is Blind” rewards repeated viewings. I binged the show into the early hours of the morning several days running, desperate to discover each couple’s fate. When I was out of episodes, what I most wanted to do was start over from the beginning. The impulse was similar to the one I have after finishing a textually dense but plot-driven novel: now that I knew how it all turned out, I wanted to go back to pick up the dropped clues I’d missed the first time around.

The cast member for whom my soul aches most is Jessica, a thirty-four-year-old regional manager from Illinois who has burrowed deep down into the dark heart of heterosexist patriarchy and made a home for herself there. Jessica’s relationship to her relationship status is that of a twenty-six-year-old Austen heroine, which is to say: not good. She’s on “Love Is Blind” because she’s “ready to start a family” and “have the most perfect marriage.” In the real world, she admits, her standards have been too high. (“I would only date a guy between one to five years older. I would only date athletes, because I’m really athletic.”) Now she’s ready to lower them.

Jessica quickly finds herself torn between two men: Mark, a twenty-four-year-old fitness instructor, and Barnett, a twenty-seven-year-old engineer. Though she can’t see either, her attraction to Barnett is obvious (she describes his voice as “sexy”), as is her lack of attraction to Mark. When, a few days into the “experiment,” an instantly smitten Mark tests the waters—“You know, I ask you, you know, do you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Like, where’s your mind at?”—Jessica hesitates before venturing that she can see the two of them “walking out of here together.” In his pod, Mark exclaims, in relief, “That’s what I’m talking about!” In hers, Jessica smiles too widely. “That’s the cutest,” she says.

But, after a series of embarrassing reversals, it’s Mark to whom Jessica ends up engaged. First, she takes too seriously a lukewarm commitment from Barnett (“If this place had nobody, no other guys and no other girls, like, I would propose to you tomorrow”), and breaks things off with Mark. “You’re ten years younger than I am,” she tells him. And: “Like, I have created other connections that look like they could potentially plug into my life, you know.” But when Barnett breaks things off with her and proposes to Amber, a twenty-six-year-old former tank mechanic, Jessica tearfully rekindles her relationship with Mark and spends the run-up to their wedding all but gritting her teeth in grim determination. In talking-head conversations with off-camera producers, Jessica stubbornly proclaims her love for Mark. (“Mark has been my rock, and I know that’s the right relationship for me. It’s just been hard for me to accept that.”) On camera, she all but recoils from his touch and takes opportunities to check in with Barnett, to make sure he’s “doing what’s right for you, you know.”

It’s easy, describing Jessica, to paint an unflattering picture. But, to my mind, her energetic, apparently successful self-deception makes her if not endearing then certainly understandable, even sympathetic. (During the reunion episode, Jessica is subdued, even chastened; she seems genuinely appalled by her own behavior as captured by Netflix’s cameras.) Her increasing levels of derangement, the ever-widening gap between the feelings expressed by her words and those demonstrated by her behavior, make a certain kind of sense, given the patently absurd situation in which she’s placed herself.

Even absent the excuse of reality-show gimmicks, Jessica’s behavior is unfortunately recognizable. She is trapped on two sides by expectation: on one, that she marry and start a family; on the other, that the person with whom she do these things be taller and older and wealthier than Mark. The bind she’s in is hardly a tragedy, but the depth of Jessica’s self-alienation is instructive. She’s lived by received ideas for so long that she seems to have lost, at least temporarily, the ability—perhaps even the desire—to discern for herself what feels right from what feels wrong.

In the sixth episode, an inebriated Jessica corners Barnett at his birthday party. She attempts to frame her inquiries as motivated by an unselfish desire to see Barnett happy. (“Do you feel like you guys are emotionally connected?” she asks of his relationship with Amber. “Like, I want to make sure,” she clarifies later, “that y’all are there.”) Jessica’s longing is both obvious and painful to watch. “I do just want to revisit for, like, a minute, like, the fact that, like, you were so confused two weeks ago,” she says, her eyes darting hopefully to Barnett’s.

The conversation ends and the camera cuts to Jessica cuddling in a surprised Mark’s arms. She nuzzles his ear and murmurs, “I love you the most.” The shame I felt while watching wasn’t just for Jessica; it was also for a past version of myself. I, too, have been the girl at the party whose true feelings for the boy to whom she’s oh-so-casually speaking are a secret from no one but herself. Now, thanks to “Love Is Blind,” I know what strangers saw when they looked at me. And, if I’m horrified, well, no one promised that the secret truth of the human animal would be pretty.

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“Love Is Blind” Is Offensive to Human Dignity, Which Is Key to Its Success

By Troy Patterson

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Plus: Bonding over divorce.

By Charanna Alexander

[ Sign up here to receive Love Letter, a weekly newsletter about relationship highs, lows and woes, in your inbox every Friday.]

Netflix’s reality romance show “Love Is Blind” is one of the very few examples of reality TV actually getting it right. We all rooted for Lauren Speed and Cameron Hamilton as we watched them find love, sight unseen, over the course of a 10-day social experiment. The couple, who married in November 2018, broke down the walls for us in an interview. They spoke about why their love is the real deal, surprises after the show, and why Lauren says she might install cameras in their shared bathroom.

For some, the end of a relationship, especially a marriage, can feel like a personal failure. In this week’s Modern Love essa y, Dave Valdes reflects on the end of his 21-year marriage. As he and his husband embarked on the journey of untangling their tethered relationship, they began to bond over a shared commitment to splitting amicably.

With the effects of the global pandemic that is the coronavirus still unknown, now is the time to be extra cautious about your personal hygiene habits, especially around others. But what do you do when the biggest offender is actually your spouse (who can’t seem to keep his fingers out of his mouth or off his face)? We can help.

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Home » The Tony Robbins Blog » Love & Relationships » Why is love blind?

Why is love blind?

How we love from our heads and our hearts.

an essay about love is blind

Is love blind ?

Why is love blind ? Why do we feel this way? Why do we act as though our partner doesn’t have any perceivable flaws or shortcomings? Because in the beginning, we are loving from our hearts, not our heads.

When you first get together with a romantic partner, it’s easy to block out any red flags or character flaws. You’re in the lusting phase of your relationship. In this heightened state of attraction, we tend to give our partners more leeway. There’s more space for them to make mistakes because the rules we have created within the relationships are different, and we have fewer of them. And in many cases, you don’t have any rules — you’re just thrilled to be in the same room with them . You feel lucky to have the opportunity to make them happy. No matter what they do or what they say, you are infatuated with the idea of them. 

Why love is blind

When you’re at the beginning of your relationship, you’re fully loving from the heart, instead of the head. You’re throwing caution to the wind and fully embracing this feeling of love and infatuation. This is why love is blind . When someone is loving from the heart, their thought process sounds like this: 

“What would make my partner happy? What would turn them on? I am going to go to the ends of the earth to find out – and I’m going to have fun doing it. I’m going to have fun learning about them and enjoy exploring all kinds of things together . I’m going to feel alive, I’m going to make this relationship perfect.”

This experience happens to many of us. That’s why there are so many love is blind quotes and stories about this exact topic – it is incredibly relatable. At some point in our lives, almost all of us will meet someone who sweeps us off of our feet.. We will want to do everything in our power to keep the relationship going, regardless of the price on our mental or emotional health.

Where are the doubts? Where are the rules? If relationships were truly this easy , then every person on the planet would be in a happy union.

Where is the measuring of how much you are doing for your partner ? How much are they doing for you? That’s right — it’s not there. When you are loving from your heart, in the “blind” stage, you don’t think about how much you are giving, and you don’t create ideals of how your partner doesn’t match up to the perfect partner in your mind.

So what brings that stage to an end? Why do we stop loving from the heart? When is love no longer blind?

Loving with your head

Rabbi Julius Gordon said, “Love is not blind. It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” Once your head takes over, you start to become more aware of the traits you ignored in the beginning of your relationship. You start to use logic more as you fall out of the honeymoon stage. Logic is a valuable intellectual trait but it can also be destructive, especially in relationships.  

Here is the train of thought of someone who is in their head, instead of fully loving with their heart:

why is love blind

The answer is: Your head takes over. Logic is a valuable intellectual trait, but in the realm of relationships, it can be destructive. Here is the train of thought of someone who is in their head, instead of fully loving with their heart:

“I wonder what they’re going to do for me for my birthday. I planned such a great day for their birthday, and they loved it. But they haven’t even mentioned my birthday yet this year. What if they forget completely? Like they forgot to congratulate me when I got that promotion. Or like how they forget even the little things, like the fact that I don’t like ginger. How can I have a partner who doesn’t know I don’t like ginger?!”

At this point, the rules that you’ve made up in your head about how a partner will behave, what your relationship will be like and what you deserve have completely overtaken all of the positive emotions you had before when your love was still blind. Things our partner does are no longer thrilling . Their flaws are no longer “cute.” Instead, their flaws become annoying when love is no longer blind.

When we start to let the little things stack up, we begin feeling resentment or built-up tension toward our partners. We start to punish our partners for their flaws.  That can escalate into a series of rejections that become toxic or abrasive – and ultimately simmers into a general feeling of repression, or learned helplessness, where you lower your expectations so much that you no longer feel any needs being met in the relationship . When this happens, you turn to other outlets for your love and attention, like your work, children, friend group or hobbies.

Sounds terrible, right? The good news is that you can learn the five disciplines of love and learn how to maintain a feeling of attraction to your partner through the power of polarity. 

As Tony says, when you’re in attraction, love is easy. Love is blind. When you’re not attracted, you get in your head. You leave your heart and your body and you go to your head.

To get a deep dive into polarization and what it means for your relationship, consider attending Tony’s marquee event, Date With Destiny . You can also gain clarity on how to build a passionate and strong relationship with Tony’s Ultimate Relationship Program . If your relationship matters to you, it’s not too late to save it. Love may be blind early on in new relationships, but with the proper insights and principles, you can find a way to clearly see and appreciate your partner as time goes on.

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Essay: Love is blind – A Midsummer’s Night Dream

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What is love? Love is arguably the most powerful, intense, controlling emotion we humans are capable of feeling. It’s random and surprising but unfortunately, it can also take you on an unintended journey full of risks; it can turn your life upside down. Love comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms especially nowadays as the times are changing and the world is becoming increasingly progressive almost as if our eyes were suddenly opened. This emotion, in particular, leads people to act blindly and make irrational decisions. This “blind” behavior also illustrates a lack of substance in a relationship based off of “true love.” Eyes and seeing play a significant role in Shakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream. The love potion and its cure are anointed to the eyelids to change the feelings the affected characters have for one another and therefore cause chaos in the form of senseless humor. Playwright William Shakespeare incorporates the idea that love is blind throughout A Midsummer’s Night Dream in order to create humor throughout the comedy. At the beginning of the play when Hermia and Lysander are arguing with Theseus, Demetrius, and Egeus, Hermia proclaims, “I would my father looked but with my eyes.” Theseus replies, “Rather your eyes must with his judgment look.” Lysander responds to this situation by saying, “You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Let me have Hermia’s: do you marry him.” Hermia’s eyes and her father’s see differently; Hermia’s are blinded greatly by her love for Lysander while similarly Egeus- her father- is blinded by his respect and favor towards Demetrius and refuses to give up his love for control as an authority figure. In Act 1 Scene 1, Helena says, “Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.” We can see the truth behind this statement during Oberon and Titania’s fight over Titania’s Indian boy because she refuses to give him to Oberon. As a result, Oberon takes matters into his own hands and orders Puck to inflict the love potion upon Titania’s eyes. Because she heard Bottom’s song, Titania had awakened and fallen deeply in love with Bottom in the form of a man with an ass’s head. She confesses her love for him saying, “I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again. Mine ear is much enamoured of thy note, so is mine eye enthralled to thy shape, and thy fair virtue’s force perforce doth move me on the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.” This is hilarious because Titania- the beautiful, angelic queen of the fairies- swears she is head over heels in love with Bottom, a lower-middle-class weaver who at the time had the head of an ass. Later, in Act 2 Scene 2, Helena follows Demetrius into the forest as he chases after Hermia and Lysander because she fell in love with him. She says, “I am your spaniel: spurn me, strike me, neglect me, lose me; only give me leave to follow you.” Demetrius soon is also put under the spell of the love potion and he ends up blindly falling in love with Helena. The love potion’s effects are never lifted from Demetrius so he will forever love Helena when in actuality he loves Hermia who loves Lysander. Likewise, Lysander is put under the love spell and falls in love with Helena and promises to love her forever saying, “Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse:My love, my life my soul, fair Helena!” This messed up love square makes the play extremely comical due to its many surprising plot twists and as a result, keeps the reader’s attention. Shakespeare’s use of blind love in A Midsummer’s Night Dream showcased how love can make us do crazy things with amusing consequences. With Titania and Bottom, social status didn’t tear them apart because their love drove them so determinedly. This shows that love is blind, whether you are rich or poor. It is also humorous because Titania is royalty and Bottom is just average. It is ironic how love can be changed with the potion, creating a sense of blind loyalty. Titania blindly loves an ass, Demetrius and Lysander flip flop from loving Hermia to Helena and when Lysander is cured, he goes back to loving Hermia wholeheartedly. Helena feels like a pawn because she believes this all to be a cruel joke. This comedy shows the theme that love is blind in two ways: physical appearances and social statuses are overlooked and also literal blindness when the love potion is used on the characters to shift their love from one person to another. 2019-2-15-1550194818

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'Love Is Blind' Needs to Fix Its Beautiful People Problem

If love is blind, why does everyone on the show fit conventional standards of beauty?

Head, Graphic design, Illustration, Line, Design, Human, Font, Black-and-white, Art, Monochrome,

The premise of Netflix’s  Love Is Blind  had promise: Thirty contestants (15 men, 15 women) court each other over approximately six weeks, and commit to engagements, without ever seeing each other. On its head, it's a series built on whether at-first-sight physical attraction matters when searching for “the one.” It’s a show that pledges to shine the spotlight on how shallow someone may be, despite their claims of being otherwise.

It’s also a total lie.

Considering the show was produced by the makers of Lifetime’s  Married At First Sight , it’s not earth-shattering that another made-for-streaming show failed to reinvent the way love and relationships are depicted on reality television. But it was still exciting to think of its potential. The  announcement  itself put emphasis on whether love could work as well in the real world as in the fabricated one—and in 2020, that’s a great question. The majority of us depict ourselves differently on social media than we do in real life (see: our filtered and Facetuned photos that lack the realism of, say, sitting at one’s kitchen table writing an essay on  Love Is Blind  while wearing cat hair–covered PJs), so the intrigue surrounding the series made sense. But then it aired.

Photograph, Dress, Romance, Ceremony, Wedding, Formal wear, Event, Bride, Wedding dress, Fun,

Mark Cuevas and Jessica Batten finally meet face-to-face after getting engaged in the pods.

Upon its debut, some critics  praised the novelty of its concept  but more  panned it  for the way a unique concept dissolved into just another reality dating show. And not just par for the course, but a  “toxic, revolting,”  and  “hollow”  (albeit addicting) addition to the already bloated genre. Particularly because, despite claiming to circumvent the vapidness of hot people dating other hot people, it was defined by it.

One of the most frustrating things about  Love Is Blind  is how it revolves  so much  around conventional attractiveness. Their age differences, height differences, race differences, varying religious beliefs or life backgrounds are largely trumped by the fact that each of the series’ participants embodies traditional beauty standards. (Hell, some of the contestants are so confident about their looks that they tell us, in the first episode, how hot they know they are and what a catch that makes them.) It arguably reflects the producers’ fear of owning the risks of their “social experiment” in favor of consciously leaning into the leverage that comes with following a small number of couples who are, well, beautiful. (Even the couples who weren’t shown as much— or at all  —were also beautiful.)

In fact, everybody on the show, at minimum, is TV-level attractive. Not a soul looks like a Regular Person™. And if they were people we knew in real life and ran into at the grocery store, we’d all exclaim enthusiastically, “Wow! You look great! Do you just always have your brows filled in?”

This isn’t to say that just because a person is attractive enough to participate in a Vanessa-and-Nick-Lachey-hosted reality show, that everyone should be attracted to them. (My dislike of Barnett is proof enough.) We’re well aware that attraction depends on so much more than just physicality: It depends on personality, on one’s moral compass, on the traits you’ve already deemed important, on the feelings you have. And, yes, that's the point of the show. But that point is largely negated from the onset by casting people who are above average-looking.

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1

Cameron Hamilton proposes to Lauren Speed, the first couple to get engaged on the reality show.

Maybe that’s what made me so annoyed about this whole thing: Despite its instant popularity that’s  already led to rumors of a second season , I would still rather watch people who look like real people date and fall in love and engage with each other without the footnote (or safety blanket) of upholding the beauty standards that have been consistently shoved down our throats. I would love to see, at the very least, contestants who could be anybody, from anywhere, and who happily exist out of the realm of the aesthetic specifics we’ve been told to attain. I want to see people of all sizes, of all ethnicities, of all heights, of all incarnations of selves. I want a show that isn’t ableist and opens the door to more contestants whose sexualities exist beyond heterosexuality. (Diamond’s reaction to Carlton’s bisexuality was profoundly upsetting.) I want a show that looks like the world it’s filmed in, not the one it’s created.

Especially since the real world isn’t beautiful at all. It's messy. Throughout Cameron and Lauren’s relationship, the  two have complex conversations  about race, racism, and their differing experiences navigating the world. Cameron, who is white, tells Lauren that he knows that their children will be seen as black and will face racism as a result of it. And when Lauren shares her own experiences, he takes time to listen and to learn, not enforcing his preconceived beliefs or biases as a white guy. This conversation was a tremendous starting point in opening up a dialogue about issues interracial couples face. But it was just that—a starting point. The show could have created more dialogues by focusing on a more diverse cast.

For brief moments, we meet men like Westley (who’s short, and who’s been rejected before as a result of his height) and Taylor (who’s never had sex before). Had they not  disappeared , they would’ve given us a little more necessary depth. It would’ve been interesting to hear Westley talk about the way his height impacts him, and it would’ve been cool for a 30-something man like Taylor to speak more on navigating the heteronormative dating world when your sexual experience differs from what’s considered normal.  That’s  what the real world is: different perspectives and opportunities to learn from and about.

Wedding dress, Dress, Bride, Gown, Photograph, Clothing, Bridal clothing, Bridal accessory, Veil, Bridal veil,

Giannina Gibelli prepares for her wedding to Damian Powers.

This is more than possible for producers to deliver on. Show creator Chris Coelen  recently explained  that 30 people had been asked to participate, but only couples who seemed to form a genuine connection were asked to stay. And those people, as we can see, just “happened” to be conventionally beautiful. Meaning? These are the people who those in charge believed would make the best television. But I think watching contestants sit in the discomfort of not necessarily connecting with anybody might have made for even better, more ground-breaking, and more realistic television.

Love absolutely  can  be blind. Physical attractiveness can, and very much does, grow from the seeds of meeting someone who likes you, champions you, makes you laugh, listens, is kind and hard-working, and makes you feel like a person you didn’t know you could be. But why not celebrate the range of people who exist on this planet? Why champion traditional definitions of beauty while claiming not to prioritize looks?

And why was anyone even remotely dressed up for those pod dates?

Goddamn it, you guys: No one can see you.

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Anne T Donahue is a writer and person originally from Cambridge, Ontario, and is the author of the essay collection, Nobody Cares.

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an essay about love is blind

The Idioms

love is blind

  • if you love someone, you cannot see the faults in that person
  • a person in love cannot see any imperfections in the person they love
  • if you love someone, it does not matter what they look like or what their faults are

Example Sentences

  • I really don’t understand why Mia likes Chris so much. He’s very selfish and inconsiderate; and doesn’t even treat her well. Well, love really is blind .
  • Everybody thought that Sam would not make a good match for Jill, but love is blind , and she was oblivious to all his bad habits.
  • Love is blind , and it was so true in his case. The girl he was dating was obviously two-timing him, but he was blissfully unaware of everything.
  • When you are in love, you tend to overlook the faults of the person you love as it is said that love is blind .
  • Love is blind , it is said, but it is not good to completely close your eyes to the faults of the person you love.

Origin This expression was first used by Geoffrey Chaucer in Merchant’s Tale in 1405. However, it gained popularity after Shakespeare used it in many of his plays during the late 1500s and early 1600s.

Share your opinions 10 Opinions

Love is not blind it chooses what it wants to see or not to see like Jesus Christ when he forgives and you repent

‒ Fred Vega March 18, 2022

I love Shila Kay. I do. (Veda too!) I’m astonished, dumbfounded and amazed all anew every time our eyes meet.♥️

‒ David December 10, 2021

Love is blind – not blind that u can’t see their flaws and faults but because you love them so much that you intend to ignore it and hoping for them to change in time.

‒ Kristine June 19, 2021

Love may be blind. Normally this condition is mostly attributed to the young-at-heart. It might even be described as “foolish love” by third parties. However because this human emotion is so deep, so unconditional, the “blindness” can be detrimental to the beholder. On the positive side, it will be a blessing as it moves one’s resultant sentiment to become tolerant and forgiving of fellow humans and of Creation itself. True love emcompasses all dark dispositions. Love lights up your life!

‒ Joseph Perera May 11, 2021

Only little pieces of what each of you said are true, which when put together reveals the majority of the picture but not the full version and the most important part, that few are afraid to admit because to do so makes them have the depth of a kiddie pool…love is not 100% blind because of people who put value in what they see with their eyes and put to much importance on physical features…it’s a funny dichotomy

‒ Anonymous December 16, 2020

Love is blind but marriage restored my vision.

‒ Marianne Jacob December 8, 2020

This is so powerful and it has helped me to realize the Love God has for us, no wonder He was so lost in love He died for us.

I’m blessed

‒ Anonymous October 9, 2020

I believe it when they say love is blind, because it makes people forget there selves in the process they get provoked to do things they never thought they can do all because of love.

‒ Mutale September 19, 2020

Love is as blind as we see and allow it. It’s always best to communicate with your partner and smooth out any uncertainties which may be kept inside us, only to explode in anger once stirred. Love is also said to be unconditional but it’s really with conditions , undeniably. Love is the greatest human emotion , partially blind and partially conditional.

‒ Joel August 30, 2020

Yes it is said that love is blind and I fully believe that but if you are like many people in this day and age in our society it can also be said that we are often blinded and can’t even see that the person who we love and feel like they don’t love us in all reality actually does love us . So sad but true that a person today is to blind to realize that their partner actually does love them and after all the jealousy and accusations argument after argument later on down the road they shamefully and regrettingly realize that they did love them after all but because of their blindness to let love in they missed it !

‒ April Grammer August 9, 2020

What's on your mind?

Similar Idioms

  • from the bottom of my heart
  • double date

More From Forbes

How 'love is blind' made netflix the hub for finding love.

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Sarah Ann Bick, Jeramey Lutinski, Trevor Sova, and Jessica Vestal in the Season 6 reunion of 'Love ... [+] is Blind.'

There’s no denying that Netflix has a lot of influence, and now the streamer has cornered the market, so to speak, on series and films dedicated to dating and love. Subscribers have watched billions of hours of content on the subject.

Nielsen recently reported that Love Is Blind topped its streaming viewership rankings with just over two billion minutes viewed, and this is the first time that the reality series has ever made the No. 1 spot.

The joys of falling in love and the pitfalls of heartache are universal feelings we can all relate to. Love Is Blind , in particular, has proven very successful with strong viewership on a global scale over the show’s four years streaming on Netflix.

Netflix is all about giving its subscribers more of what they want. Love Is Blind became the catalyst for the platform’s creation of new unscripted dating shows that have refreshed the genre with new and bold formats that reflect the realities of dating and navigating romantic relationships nowadays.

The streamer is inclusive in its casting to showcase the multitude of people, lifestyles, and relationships singletons seek. If you want viewers, you have to give them relatable programming, and the people on these shows reflect the world we live in and the many challenges we face.

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Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey in the Season 6 reunion of 'Love is Blind.'

Love Is Blind has proven its worth to the streamer by ranking within Nielsen’s Top 10 most-streamed titles 23 times across its six seasons. Of interest is the 2.11 billion minutes of view-time between February 26 and March 3, when it became the most-watched streaming title of the week.

According to Netflix’s Global Top 10 , viewers love to watch people fall in love, and Love Is Blind has become one of the most popular dating shows in the world, and it’s only four years old.

Every season has seen the series topping the charts: season two spent six weeks in the Global Top 10 and reached Top 10 TV status in 54 countries; season three followed with seven weeks in the Global Top 10 and reached the Top 10 TV in 54 countries; season four spent six weeks in the Global Top 10 and reached the Top 10 TV in 57 countries; and season five spent five weeks in the Global Top 10 and reached the Top 10 TV in 49 countries.

The success of this show led to seven more unscripted dating series that have also seen huge viewership on the platform. Love on the Spectrum has had two successful seasons: season one reached the Top 10 TV in 10 countries and season two reached the Top 10 TV in 17 countries.

Other successful series include Perfect Match (season one spent five weeks in the Global Top 10 and reached the Top 10 TV in 58 countries); The Ultimatum: Queer Love (season one spent two weeks in the Global Top 10 TV and reached the Top 10 TV in 23 countries); and The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On (season one spent four weeks in the Global Top 10 TV and reached the Top 10 TV in 59 countries while season two spent two weeks in the Global Top 10 TV and reached the Top 10 TV in 43 countries).

Another consistent hit is Too Hot To Handle, which has seen all five seasons top the charts: season one reached the Top 10 TV in 16 countries; season two spent three weeks in the Global Top 10 TV and reached the Top 10 TV in 76 countries; season three spent two weeks in the Global Top 10 TV and reached the Top 10 TV in 64 countries; season four spent three weeks in the Global Top 10 TV and reached the Top 10 TV in 71 countries; and season five spent four weeks in the Global Top 10 TV and reached the Top 10 TV in 64 countries.

Two series that focused on culture and religion also did extremely well. Indian Matchmaking had solid viewership with season two reaching the Top 10 TV in 13 countries and season three spending one week in the Global Top 10 TV list and reaching the Top 10 TV in 13 countries, while Jewish Matchmaking topped the TV charts in two countries.

The success of these shows proves that viewers want to watch others fall in love, navigate the world of dating, and survive the despair of heartbreak. If anything, this also shows us that we are not alone in our search for happily ever after.

Dana Feldman

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an essay about love is blind

True Love Is Not Blind

Bethany Casey

How many times have you heard the phrase, “Love is blind”?

It’s everywhere, from television to books and even casual conversations and social media. More often than not, it’s used in a false kind of reassurance for not knowing your partner was cheating on you—you could never have known because you were in love. If you didn’t have those rose tinted glasses on, you would have obviously known what was happening. But no, that’s just someone being a good liar. That isn’t someone who loves you.

Here’s the thing; if two people really love each other, I think love isn’t blind at all . It has perfect vision.

Now a crush, that is blind as a bat. I suppose even lust can be a little hard-sighted at times. Not only is your partner only showing you the little parts of them that they want you to see in order to impress you, you’re still giddy from the excitement of starting a new relationship and naturally think they’re the most perfect human in existence. But once the mystery has died away and you start to learn who this person really is, if you can still they’re perfect, that’s when it gets real.

When two people really love each other, you can see every flaw your partner has, every annoying little thing they do, but you learn to deal with them anyway.

You can clearly see any problems they might bring into your life, issues you may have to face together or alone, but you have decided they’re worth it and work to overcome it anyway.

You can see the truth about their past, not just the version you want, and knowing this, you can still focus on who they are now and who they will be in the future.

You can see the things they aren’t saying, if they’re sad or uncomfortable, and you know how to be there for them.

You can see the parts of them you’d never noticed before, the way they bite their lip when they’re focusing or the way they get excited talking about something they love, and you think it makes them even more beautiful.

Bethany Casey

Even a semi-professional writer sucks at writing bios, sorry.

Keep up with Bethany on Instagram , Twitter and Amazon

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Lawrence Josephs, Ph.D.

  • Relationships

When Love Is Blind

How "loss aversion" makes people tolerate dealbreakers..

Posted November 22, 2021 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

  • Why Relationships Matter
  • Find counselling to strengthen relationships
  • Love can make us blind to toxic aspects of our intimate relationships.
  • Loss aversion leads us to put up with relationship deal breakers and rationalize them.
  • We must choose self-respect over loss aversion to get out of a toxic relationship.

It’s not totally a bad thing that love is blind. Love is often based on idealization. In the early phases of falling in love, you put your partner on a pedestal and imagine that they are the most perfect person in the world, at least for you. Even after the honeymoon phase of a relationship, we want to think the best of our partners. We love our partners despite their imperfections because we believe their good qualities far outweigh their bad qualities. And maybe over time, our partners’ bad qualities will be fixed or outgrown as our partners learn to live up to their full potential.

Accepting our partners’ imperfections, warts and all, appears to be an essential ingredient of successful long-term relationships. A relationship isn’t going to work if your partner is treated as a permanent fixer-upper who will never be good enough, no matter what they do to make you happy. The question arises as to just what is good enough in a long-term relationship. Are there certain imperfections that you shouldn’t have to accept in a long-term relationship that must be fixed to your liking, or you should get out rather than settle?

Necessities, luxuries, and deal breakers

Relationship scientists have distinguished between necessities, luxuries, and deal breakers when it comes to our preferences in picking a romantic partner. A necessity might be some minimum standard of good looks or sexual chemistry. A luxury might be needing a partner who is the sexiest person you’ve ever met. A deal breaker might be someone with whom you feel zero sexual chemistry. We might be too picky if we’re holding out for luxuries when our partner provides all the essential necessities. But we might be settling if our love makes us blind to the deal breakers in the relationship, and we aren’t getting the essential necessities we need for the relationship to be truly good enough.

The major deal breakers are infidelity , alcohol or substance abuse , physical, emotional, or verbal abuse, and failure to contribute to family finances. These are frequently cited reasons for divorce or marital dissatisfaction. Nevertheless, many people live with relationship deal breakers despite their unhappiness with these behaviors. They remain blind to these problems, see them but minimize them, remain hopeful that such behaviors will change over time if they keep working on it, and make constant threats of ending the relationship, hoping to motivate their recalcitrant partner to change their ways.

The price of living with deal breakers

Living with deal breakers and rationalizing them can extract a high emotional cost. You can’t feel securely attached to someone who cheats on you, mistreats you, doesn’t financially support you, and loves their alcohol and drugs more than they love you. It’s not good for your self-respect if you settle for this sort of treatment day in and day out without any end in sight.

You might begin to suffer depression , panic attacks, and angry outbursts that seem to erupt from nowhere. Why would anybody put up with this stuff by trying to tune it out and rationalize it? Yet many people do.

The problem of loss aversion

We put up with this stuff and make excuses for our partners’ unacceptable behavior because we just can’t bear the thought of ending the relationship. We’ve put our heart and soul into this relationship, and it breaks our heart to sadly acknowledge that the relationship may be a lost cause. Denial kicks in, and we heroically try to save the relationship, though it may be a losing battle.

Ironically, once our tragically flawed partners perceive that we can’t bear to walk away from a toxic relationship and that our threats of leaving are just bluffing, they realize that they can hold on to the relationship forever without ever having to change their ways. It’s only when our partners see that we are truly weaning ourselves from a toxic relationship and becoming more independent from them that they might be motivated to change if they can change.

Choosing self-respect over loss aversion

We free ourselves from toxic relationships once we overcome our loss aversion. Once we choose our own self-respect over our attachment to our irreparably flawed partners, we become capable of leaving a bad relationship without looking back and without regrets. On a certain level, it’s a relief to finally extricate oneself from a toxic relationship. We are free at last. Yet it is also horribly sad.

All the dreams we had of what the relationship could have been must be mourned as not meant to be. We must let go of the sense of failure that we couldn’t make a toxic relationship work. We must let go of the sense of unlovability that we didn’t deserve to be treated any better than what we got. We must convince ourselves that we are better off on our own and that we deserve to do better and can do better in the future. We must trust that we will choose more wisely in the future. All these emotional adjustments are a tall order and take time.

an essay about love is blind

Grieving a failed relationship can’t be rushed but must be painfully endured. Yet it is an endurance test that doesn’t last forever. And when it finally ends, and you come out the other side, you are free to live your life with dignity and hold out for someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

Facebook image: Petrenko Andriy/Shutterstock

Josephs, L. (2018) The Dynamics of Infidelity: Applying Relationship Science to Psychotherapy Practice . Washington, D.C.: American Psychological Association.

Lawrence Josephs, Ph.D.

Lawrence Josephs, Ph.D. is a professor of psychology at Adelphi University and has a psychotherapy practice in New York City. His research focuses on infidelity and the role of authenticity in intimate relationships.

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‘Love is Blind’ is a compelling dumpster fire of drama. It’s also extremely problematic.

Love is Blind season 6.

Buckle your seat belts: “Love Is Blind” is back, baby. The sixth season of the dating reality show dropped its first six episodes on Valentine’s Day, fittingly, with three new episodes Wednesday — and it’s currently the most-watched show on Netflix. The cinematic equivalent of a drunken, late-night McDonald’s binge, the show is devourable, but can leave you feeling slightly queasy and in need of a juice cleanse. And while it’s easy to binge, the show reinforces a worldview that hurts minority and oppressed populations, especially women, queer people and Black people.

While it’s easy to binge, the show reinforces a worldview that hurts minority and oppressed populations, especially women, queer people and Black people.

In case you don’t know, in “ Love Is Blind, ” 15 men and 15 women are separated by gender and date each other through a wall; all they can hear is one another’s voice in “the pods.” In order to meet, they must leave the pods engaged to one another . After meeting, they are whisked away to a weeklong beachside resort, where they get to know one another physically for the first time. And then they live together for four weeks in staged apartments before meeting at the altar and deciding if they want to get married. What could possibly go wrong?

The show, which debuted in the U.S. in 2020 , has become a global phenomenon with adaptations based in Brazil, Japan and Sweden, and at least four more versions planned for Argentina, Germany, the U.K. and the UAE (I regret to inform you the last one is titled “ Love Is Blind, Habibi ”). The show is a masterclass in, and an agent of reproducing some of society’s most oppressive ideologies and the concomitant power dynamics embedded in certain types of social relations.

Among other things, the show’s premise and the types of contestants selected to participate in the experience reproduce harmful expressions of gender and sexuality. It explicitly promotes regressive forms of femininity, masculinity and heterosexuality, which, lest we forget, hurts everyone, including men. (This is something I’ve written about before.) The relational dynamics and expressions of gender (think: “Guys and Dolls”) at times feel like they could be lifted out of a 1950s book on heterosexual courtship and the role of men and women. 

Love is Blind season 6.

Critiques abound of the role reality dating shows play in reproducing such tropes. One research paper on the show “Love Island ,” for example, notes that “by presenting female contestants as overly emotional and irrational, outdated stereotypes surrounding emotionality and hysteria are reproduced within [the show].” It goes on to identify sexual double standards between male and female contestants, all which play out on steroids in “Love Is Blind.” And these shows naturally have a symbiotic relationship with the real world. A study among college women found that “heavier viewing of reality programming predicted greater support for the heterosexual script,” or traditional, gendered courtship roles. Disturbingly, the authors noted that “these studies contribute to our understanding of unique media contributions to endorsement of the heterosexual script and illuminate one process by which women may come to normalize sexual mistreatment.”

Additionally, “Love Is Blind’s” premise and casting process implicitly erases and devalues certain populations, such as people who are queer, fat, and/or have disabilities, by privileging people who are straight, thin and don’t have disabilities. It normalizes not just antiquated expressions of heterosexuality and gender, but certain body types, too. Aside from the fact that most contestants are fitness fanatics with thin bodies, some explicitly describe their physical “deal breakers.” One contestant, Clay, for example, notes during one of his dates that he needs a woman who is “petite” and then later tells his fiancée, AD, that he’ll forcefully tell her to go to the gym if she starts to put on weight (even if she’s pregnant). “I wouldn’t even let you get out of shape,” he said. “I’d be like, AD, get in that mother----ing gym.”

Disappointingly, this season also reproduces gendered race relations , especially between the white contestants and AD, the only Black woman to get engaged and make it to the second phase of the show. AD is ogled by one white male contestant, Jimmy, who makes a comment about AD’s physique to his own fiancée, Chelsea.  The  physical affection Jimmy directs at AD seems to make AD uncomfortable. Jimmy later attempts to make what vaguely sounds like an apology, but he is unable to name what actually happened. “I felt bad about that, but I know you know what I’m talking about,” he says to AD. “But that helped Chelsea and I,” he adds, referring to the conflict the incident produced between Chelsea and him, which the two ultimately resolved. In so doing, he puts AD’s objectification and dehumanization in service of him and his relationship. Using humor to identify the absurdity of his pseudo-apology, AD responds, “I’m glad that you talking about my ass helped you and Chelsea get to the next level.”

One contestant, Clay, notes that he needs a woman who is “petite” and later tells his fiancée that he’ll forcefully tell her to go to the gym if she starts to put on weight (even if she’s pregnant).

AD also becomes the subject of a so-called joke (or, more accurately, sexually violent language) when another white male contestant tells AD his white fiancée told him to slap AD’s breast.

While the series might make for a compelling dumpster fire of relational drama and unresolved trauma (which is hard to turn away from), it’s worth interrogating what social relations and ideologies “Love Is Blind” reproduces — and how we might be internalizing these. While it’s all fun and games on the surface, it is incumbent on us to ask what the show normalizes for its viewers. From the hypersexualization of Black women and the implied ownership of their bodies by white people (in other words, white supremacy) to regressive modes of heterosexuality and expressions of gender (in other words, misogyny and cis-het patriarchy), the show promotes and reinforces social structures that make the world less safe for everyone. 

Noor Noman is a freelance journalist in New York City who has worked as a writer, editor, producer and presenter. He focuses on the intersection of culture and politics, particularly LGBTQ issues, feminism and race. His coverage also focuses on South Asia, which led him to pursue an M.Phil. in South Asian studies at the University of Oxford. He has worked at Bloomberg, Mic, and Brut, among other places.

The 'Love Is Blind' Season 6 Reunion Had an Invisible Third Host

This reunion was the best the show has ever seen, and it's all thanks to this unseen tool.

The Big Picture

  • Love Is Blind reunions have historically been lackluster, but season 6 shocked viewers with its engaging and drama-filled approach.
  • The reunion bravely tackled controversial online drama involving participants, adding another layer of intrigue and entertainment.
  • The show's evolution to incorporate social media content into reunions has elevated the series to a new level, satisfying viewers' desire for more engaging content.

Despite its six seasons of jaw-dropping drama and iconic moments, Love is Blind has an unfortunate history of less-than-satisfying reunions. Created by Chris Coelen for Netflix, this inventive reality dating series has long wowed audiences with how its premise of having people fall in love "sight unseen" creates some of the wildest situations in all reality television . From messy breakups to heart-wrenching moments of self-discovery, the program has touched on some genuinely intriguing ideas over the years - though you wouldn't know that from watching each season's reunion.

The show's hosts, Vanessa and Nick Lachey, noticeably fumble when it comes to reuniting with the current iteration's cast members and asking them about their experiences onscreen. Even outside of the uncomfortable moments where they ask awkward questions, the pair are known not to touch on the exciting topics that audiences care about. It set expectations low for the season 6 reunion, making it that much more of a surprising success when the couple came in and asked many of the burning questions viewers had, and then some! It was a true triumph for the program, one that is largely due to an invisible third host that helped the Lacheys create the best reunion the show has ever seen: social media .

Love Is Blind

Singles who want to be loved for who they are, rather than what they look like, have signed up for a less-conventional approach to modern dating.

'Love is Blind' Is Messy On and Off-screen

While any season of Love is Blind is sure to have an immense amount of drama within its episodes, viewers have been shocked at just how many controversies were revealed after the cameras stopped rolling. Recent seasons have seen massive secrets be unveiled both on and off the show, granting an extra layer of theatrics and leading watchers to become amateur sleuths as they try to corroborate people's performances on the show with their actions online. Until now, these technological secrets have been mainly ignored by the series itself , with only a comment thrown in here and there about online drama, while each reunion focused primarily on what the show decides to broadcast. It's correct for them to touch on those dramatic plot points as that's what every watcher will be aware of, but incorporating this online knowledge creates another layer of intrigue for everyone watching . It adds weight to the actions on display and, most importantly, gives everyone watching more juicy drama to enjoy.

'Perfect Match’ Undermines the Purpose of ‘Love Is Blind'

The Lacheys first flexed their social awareness in this reunion by confronting Jeramey Lutinski , a self-centered contestant who ruined his engagement with Laura Dadisman by spending a night with his second choice from the Pods, Sarah Ann . The hosts recognized that his actions were cruel and wanted to speak to him about them, but, first, they questioned him about a secret that had come out since the show had begun airing. Someone on social media said she was the mother of a woman Jeramey was engaged to - when he entered the experiment. His half-hearted attempts to deflect only cast more suspicion onto him and furthered people's belief that he was a liar , a suspicion that had been proven multiple times throughout the season but was further validated now. The hosts followed this up by asking Sarah Ann, his "new" girlfriend, about social media posts where she questioned the reality of the show and assured people its whole purpose was for entertainment rather than love, essentially calling the series fake. It was a shockingly truthful presentation of the facts that viewers were not used to, as the Lacheys tend to skirt around the serious conflicts on the show rather than call them out directly. This new approach left both people forced to, for the first time, admit their wrongdoings, leaving them humbled after a season of wreaking emotional havoc and audiences excited for what receipt would be pulled out next.

On 'Love is Blind', Trust No One

The Love is Blind reunion is supposed to be a time when contestants can hash out the issues they have with one another, where they can speak vulnerably about their time on the show and hopefully address whatever questions people still have about their tenure on the show. With Jeramey and Sarah, this reunion did just that, though that was expected: there was one person who, at the beginning of the season, nobody would have expected as someone the reunion would have to thrust into the harsh spotlight: the lovable Trevor Sova . An early partner to Chelsea Blackwell , audiences were heartbroken to see her not pick him for marriage and wished the best for someone they saw as a gentle giant. That was until a woman online came out with the truth: she was Trevor's girlfriend; they'd been dating before, during, and after the show, and she'd helped him get cast . Watchers were shocked and deeply saddened to learn this man's kindhearted nature was just a front, especially when the girlfriend continued to express that Trevor only went on the show to gain fame . The hosts were not only aware of this, they put the screenshots on the big screen for everyone to see and did a dramatic reading of every line of deceit.

'Love Is Blind's' A.D. Addresses Fans Telling Her to Take Clay Back

This was the most shocking moment of the entire reunion. To recognize and bring Trevor out to discuss the controversy was one thing, but anyone not intimately familiar with the situation recognized just how hurtful the man's actions were seeing them onscreen like this. Past seasons have had some genuinely cinematic scenes, but this ongoing focus on the social media that audiences had spent weeks discussing brought important issues to a larger stage and satisfied the thousands who'd become invested in these situations. It speaks to an evolution of the show as a whole , a recognition of the impact of social media and contestants' online actions - for many, these are as important to the story as the scenes featured. With this inclusion, the Lacheys can supplement the core questions about the contestant's experiences on the program with this thrilling drama (and spare viewers their awkward, unnecessary questioning). With the show now making social media such a core component, it's granting itself a truly comprehensive reunion that answers all the questions audiences have been dying to see answered.

This Show Brings Reality to a Whole New Level

Any reality series hoping to last needs to grow with its audience, and Love Is Blind is finally ready to evolve. Despite its host and general format of their reunions earning the ire of many watchers, the series up until this point has appeared more focused on preserving its original setup than growing to account for new wants and themes of its fanbase. Coming off of a season filled with poignant and pertinent themes surrounding dating, the show continued speaking about the modern themes surrounding it by mining the wealth of content on social media to guide conversations and pinpoint what audiences want to hear about . Doing this bolsters the often subpar moderating of its hosts and gives the contestants provocative topics to speak on, creating a thoroughly exciting experience for everyone watching at home. Love Is Blind reunions now have a new third host, and, if this season's was any indication, everyone watching should be thankful.

Love Is Blind is Available to Stream on Netflix in the U.S.

WATCH ON NETFLIX

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ImportantIndia.com

Indian History, Festivals, Essays, Paragraphs, Speeches.

Short Paragraph on ‘Love is blind’

Category: Blog , Essays and Paragraphs On June 28, 2017 By LightHouse

This proverb, ‘love is blind’, adequately captures how many romantic relationships function. It also emphasizes the power of chance in our romantic lives.

Lovers are metaphorically blind to their beloved’s faults. Similarly, that they are metaphorically blind to each other’s physical appearances, caring only about each other’s souls.

If someone cannot see what another person looks like, they will not be swayed by their appearance. So, this proverb is essentially about the deceptiveness of appearances.

Lovers do not just attract on a physical level, they can also be soulmates. This is an anti-materialist proverb. We all have inner beauty, not just outward beauty. We do not love someone because of how they look or how rich they are.

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  • Speidi's 16th Minute

‘Love Is Blind’ With Chelsea Blackwell

Chelsea Blackwell from ‘Love Is Blind’ Season 6 tells us what made her decide to join the cast, what she wishes she could have said at the reunion, and what she plans to do next

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Share All sharing options for: ‘Love Is Blind’ With Chelsea Blackwell

This week we catch up on Heidi and Spencer’s Colorado trip and give producer Chelsea Stark-Jones wedding advice before her big day! Then, we welcome Chelsea Blackwell from Love Is Blind Season 6 (23:28). She tells us what made her decide to join the cast (24:48), what she wished she could have said at the Love Is Blind reunion (32:51), and what she plans to do next (46:38)!

Hosts: Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Guest: Chelsea Blackwell Producers: Chelsea Stark-Jones, Aleya Zenieris, and Isaiah Blakely Theme Song: Heidi Montag

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Love Is Blind’s Chelsea Reveals Telling Jimmy She Also Gets Compared to Katy Perry & Adele

During Chelsea's latest appearance on the 'After Curfew' podcast, she revealed that she mentioned two other celebrities that she gets compared to white still in the 'LiB' pods.

Chelsea Blackwell

Earlier this year, Love Is Blind season 6 star Chelsea Blackwell faced an unwanted wave of backlash after telling co-star Jimmy Presnell in the pods that she often gets confused with Megan Fox . During her latest appearance on the “After Curfew” podcast, Chelsea, 31, claimed that the show didn’t include the moment when she also told Jimmy, 28, that she gets compared to two other major celebrities.

“They didn’t show that I also say Adele, and I also say Katy Perry,” the reality TV personality told host Jillian Lenna. I said I get one person all the time, and then I say, ‘I also get Adele and Katy Perry.'”

Chelsea made some waves when Netflix viewers saw her tell Jimmy in the pods that she kind of looks like “MGK’s wife.” As a result, she faced crude comments from social media users. Not only that, but Jimmy even felt that Chelsea “lied” to him about her physical appearance, he said during a confessional interview that aired earlier this year.

View this post on Instagram A post shared by After Curfew Podcast (@aftercurfew)

Throughout Chelsea’s new podcast interview, she expressed regret over how she didn’t say Megan’s full name and only identified her as “MGK’s wife.” (Megan and Machine Gun Kelly are not married, and the Till Death actress, 37, recently confirmed that she and MGK ended their engagement at one point)

“Why did we say MGK’s wife instead of Megan Fox as if she’s this random girl from Transformers ?” host Jillian asked, to which Chelsea responded, “Saying her name just flat out, I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s so cringey, not saying it.’ Why did I beat around the bush?”

The flight attendant then acknowledged that she was “downplaying” it when she avoided saying Megan’s full name, which ended up being “so much worse.”

Chelsea Blackwell, a contestant from Love Is Blind Season 6, tells Jimmy Presnell that she looks like Megan Fox: "I don't even know if it's mgk's wife or his girlfriend." "You're saying you look like Megan Fox?" "It's only because I have light eyes and dark hair." pic.twitter.com/Rh0bK7WGDp — mgkmagic (@mgkmagic) February 15, 2024

“Like I said, I just breathe, and people are like, ‘Oh, she did it wrong,'” Chelsea pointed out. “Yeah, that was awful. That was not even something that I thought about. So, the only reason I thought about it is ’cause Jimmy did tell me in the DR. He’s like, ‘Man, I dragged your butt on camera, and screamed into the camera that you didn’t look anything like Megan.’ And I was like, ‘Oh, great, Let’s hope they don’t show that.'”

Though the business owner acknowledged that this is “the main thing” people approach her about, Chelsea still doesn’t see the resemblance between her and the Jennifer’s Body star.

“That’s the main thing people keep coming up to me for. They’re like, ‘You do look like her,'” Chelsea continued. “I had one scrawny-ass kid in a casino when I was in Vegas come up me, and be like, ‘Megan Fox? You got to be joking me,’ and I was just like, ‘Hold be back. hold me back.'”

'Love Is Blind' Star Chelsea Blackwell Shares Her Weight Loss Secret That Has Nothing to Do With the Gym

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Chelsea Blackwell is focusing on her health since she wrapped filming on Love Is Blind . The season 6 star opened up in a new TikTok video about her lifestyle changes that led her to shed some weight after filming the popular Netflix show. 

"I don't get this figure from lifting weights 😜💪🏼," Chelsea captioned the video. 

The flight attendant and event planner, who previously shared that she wears a size 12, explained in her video, "I stand by I love my body… I've never been a small girl my entire life and I'm OK with that. I love her. She's healthy and she's strong."

She added that while she's very body positive, she recently felt that she wasn't in the healthiest place and decided to do something about it. 

"I wasn't feeling healthy. I wasn't feeling strong," she said. "It was affecting my mental health and it was affecting my energy levels."

Noting that she incorporates intermittent fasting into her plan, Chelsea added that she eats as many fruits and vegetables as possible and has a high-protein diet. 

"Protein is my best friend. Protein is what I try to have all my meals based on," she shared. 

As for liquids, Chelsea said she's "very into juicing" and also aims to drink up to 90 ounces of water per day. 

"I am a hydrated lady," she noted. 

Chelsea said that while she "wishes" she was into the gym, she "will never be," sharing, "When I do go to the gym, I follow Whitney Simmons… I never go absolutely ham in the gym. I just like to get a little lift in to feel good. But the main key component to something I think really resulted in my weight loss is walking."

The reality star said she walks for 45 minutes a day and uses the time to meditate and listen to podcasts. 

"That's just, like, my me time and it just makes me happy," she shared. 

As for her overall health, Chelsea said she hasn't lost "that much" weight, but is instead focused on "fueling my body with better things." 

"I feel better. I feel like my skin feels better. I look better," she shared. "And I'm able to deliver my best possible self to everyone else around me."

Chelsea got engaged to Jimmy Presnell in the pods and the former couple went on to have a tumultuous relationship. Eventually they called things off before heading to the altar. 

After season 6 aired, Chelsea spoke with ET about how she was portrayed on the show. 

"It's hard to see it, but there's also so much that wasn't shown," Chelsea told ET of watching her scenes on the show. "I felt the way I felt for a reason, and unfortunately that doesn't show." 

All six seasons of Love Is Blind are currently streaming on Netflix. 

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Love Is Blind Essay Example

Love Is Blind Essay Example

  • Pages: 4 (1012 words)
  • Published: November 28, 2017
  • Type: Paper

Do you remember your first kiss? Did you keep your eyes open or closed? I bet you closed your eyes. Isn’t this the essence of “love is blind? ” You kiss them without fear, and without any sense of danger. You do not have to see the one you love to know you love them. You accept love on blind faith.

Love is blind and for a moment we use this phrase to justify the obvious flaws we do not recognize in the people. Lovers are oblivious to the truth and therefore unable to be clear-sighted. My perspective is that we are blinded by love and we act carelessly without assessing any of our actions, thus we have regret for any mistakes later on.My latest experience where love is blind has to do with a friend that I know for a little

over six months now, but I could say that I can feel her profound misery every time she spills her disappointment on her love matter with her long-distance boyfriend. He had to relocate to china because he received well-paid career there.

Sharon would spend hours talking to him online and via phone even in the early hour of morning. They have experienced love even before they have seen each other in person; it was about a year ago when they have met online and developed an exigent relationship.She would always cry all day and night because of a terrible fight. She attacks me with complaints every single day uttering in hatred of how selfish he is. I would ask her, “if that is the situation, why are you still with him”; and sh

would mumble “I love him. ” On the tenth months of their relationship, they have decided to finally meet each other.

She flew to Singapore to meet him there. They spent about a week together and that one week is the happiest and the sweetest moment of her life as she described. The day they have parted, she gave him her gold necklace as a sign of her love and devotion for him.After their personal meeting and a very memorable week, I have hoped that somehow their relationship will be better. Much to my surprise, it have gotten worse than I could ever imagined.

Sharon is still in tears and one day she told me that they had a very huge fight. I remember, she once told me that before leaving China, just by the airport when she were about to take off. He told her “I have to tell you something really important that you deserve to know. ” Sharon was confused by his statement. After a year of having a rollercoaster and bittersweet relationship, it has turns out that he is married.He got married at an age of 22 to a girl whom was matched to him by his parents.

He decided to go to China for a job but the truth is he went there to fulfill his duty as a husband. He respects his marriage and does not tolerate to divorce. Indeed it is a heartbreaking new to Sharon. Days and nights she cried until her eyes dry out and her heart mourns for him. Each day, he calls Sharon and wants her forgiveness.

He says he missed her and wants

to spend the rest of his life with her. Sharon says she needs time to assess things. I spoke to her a month ago and she still does not know what to do.She is not angry at him or does not even feel betrayed of what he has done, rather, she is worried that her parents might come to know about it and they will force her to marry someone else. Sharon claims that he is the love of her life and does not mind that he is married. Therefore, love is blind because Sharon refuses to see the truth and only see what she wants to see.

She would rather endure the pain of hurting her selves, patiently cry, and accept what is there than opening her eyes into reality. People always question why women are beat today by boyfriends, parents, husbands, or even kids without assessing any action.People also wonder why they ended up loving that person, or how? Well it all boils down to one simple solution that is love is blind. “Love is blind it’ll take over your mind. What you think is love it’s truly not you need to elevate and find,” Spoken by the famous artist EVE. When I think of love is blind this lyric always pops into my head.

The music video is called “love is blind” by a famous artist named Eve. Eve dedicated this song to her best friend who lost her life from an abusive relationship. For those who have not yet seen the music video to this song, I strongly recommend seeing!After watching the video, you will tend to realize and understand there

certain situation that love is blind. The song is about a couple living together in a house; the woman (victim) loves this man who is physically abused her. In a drunken state or bad mood, he would beat her severely without a reason. Everyday she suffered verbal and emotional abuse by her boyfriend but yet she takes no action in correcting.

In the song, Eve was trying to save her from her abusive boyfriend, but she was blinded by love and refused to take her advice.At the end of the song, her best friend died because she was severely beaten by her boyfriend. Therefore, love makes people ignorant to reality and lose sight of their self-confidence and self-respect. Love has caused many people all over the world to be blind.

From having an affair with a married man to neglecting physical and emotional abuse from a loved one, love has shielded many people from making good judgments and decisions. In the end, love is a powerful emotion that can fool us all whether we are aware of it or not.

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