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6+ High School Application Essay Examples [ Admission, Central, Private ]

High School Application Essay Examples

Embarking on the high school application process can be daunting, but mastering the art of the application essay can set you apart. This comprehensive guide, enriched with essay examples , will navigate you through crafting an impactful and memorable high school application essay. From understanding the prompt to showcasing your unique story, we’ll provide practical tips and examples to enhance your writing skills, ensuring your essay stands out in the competitive world of high school admissions.

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Essay writing as part of the application to enter the institution may sound kind of difficult. But it really wasn’t as the applicant was given a set of instructions on how to come up with what she or he had to write. They were given a topic to write and this was the test they had to take to see if they fit the qualifications to get admitted to the institution.  The most common topic to write in an essay was a career type. What you wanted to be when you grow up. It was a challenge but most of us have gone through that and could say, it was worth it.

3+ High School Application Essay Examples

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2. Private High School Application Essay

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3. 8th Grade High School Application Essay

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How to Write a High School Admission Essay

Embarking on the journey of writing a high school admission essay can be a significant step in your educational path. This piece of writing, often referred to as a college essay or application essay, is more than just a formality. It’s a chance for you to showcase your personality and aspirations, making it crucial for not only high school applications but also for college and scholarship applications.

Understanding the Essay’s Purpose

At its core, the admission essay is your chance to provide a glimpse into who you are beyond your academic scores. It’s not just about showcasing your achievements; it’s about narrating your story and aspirations. This narrative is what the admission committee will use to distinguish you from other candidates, making it a key component of your middle school application essay or any other educational application process.

Choosing the Right Topic

Selecting an appropriate topic is essential. Your topic should reflect an aspect of your personality or an experience that has played a significant role in your personal development. Whether it’s a challenge you’ve overcome, a unique experience, or a personal achievement, it should give insight into your character and how it has shaped you. For a short essay for high school , choosing a concise yet impactful topic is vital.

Crafting Your Essay

Organizing your thoughts is the first step in the writing process. Draft an outline to structure your essay effectively. Begin with a captivating introduction, followed by a body that provides a deeper insight into your topic, and conclude with a summary that ties back to your main thesis, demonstrating why you are a great fit for the school.

Engaging Introduction

The introduction is crucial in grabbing the reader’s attention. Start with an engaging hook – it could be a compelling anecdote, a question, or a surprising fact. This initial engagement is particularly important in a short essay for high school, as you have limited space to make an impact.

Body of the Essay

In the body of your essay, provide detailed accounts of your experiences or reflections. Use vivid descriptions to bring your story to life. This part of the essay is where you can elaborate on your experiences, making it relevant in a scholarship essay or any admission essay.

Concluding Your Essay

Your conclusion should leave a lasting impression. It’s not just about ending your essay, but about tying your narrative back to the main goal – to showcase why you are a suitable candidate for the school. A strong conclusion is essential in any application essay , whether it’s for high school, college, or a scholarship.

Revising and Editing

Revision is key in the essay-writing process. Pay attention to clarity, detail, and the flow of your essay. Grammar and spelling are equally important. Consider getting feedback from others, as a fresh pair of eyes can often catch things you might have missed.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Stay true to yourself in your essay. Avoid embellishing your experiences or straying from the essay prompt. Keep your language clear and straightforward, avoiding clichés and overly complex phrases.

Final Touches

Remember, your high school admission essay is a reflection of your personality. Let your individuality shine through your words. With a well-thought-out narrative essay , your essay can become a compelling part of your application, whether it’s a college essay, a middle school application essay, or a scholarship essay. Be honest, authentic, and let your unique story guide your writing.

4. High School Application Essay Template

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5. High School Academy Application Essay

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6. Sample High School Application Essay

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7. High School Admission Application Essay

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Tips on Writing a Good High School Essay

To all students wishing to write a good high school essay to wow the right people. I have some tips for you to use. These tips of course vary with people but these are the common ways to writing a good high school essay to amaze the right people as well as to get you accepted to the institution of your choice.  So without further ado, let’s get right to it.

  • Think: It may sound cliché, but the best thing to do before writing a good high school essay is to think. Think of what you are planning on writing. Think of the topic and the subtopics you want to add in your essay.  Ask yourself what you wish to talk about. Make some notes in a different paper as a guide.
  • Planning : After thinking about what you wish to write, plan on it. This is often taken for granted. But when you get to plan on what you wish to write, everything goes smoothly. Just a reminder though, an essay does not have to be very long since that would be a different literary piece.
  • Short and Concise : As stated above, an essay does not have to be very long. Essays usually have one to three paragraphs long. Beyond that is usually unheard of, so make it short and concise as possible.
  • Make some notes:  A reminder when writing a good essay is to always make some notes. Make a draft if you wish. This helps with how you construct your sentences and construct what you wish to write about.
  • Review: after you write your essay, review. Check the necessary things like spelling, grammar, and sentence construction. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just as long as it follows the strict grammar guidelines.

How many sentences do I need to write to let it be considered an essay?

One to three paragraphs, with 5 to 8 sentences can already be considered an essay. The one thing you need to know is when writing an essay, all you need is one topic, and you talk about it.

What are the usual topics to write for a high school essay application?

The most common topic they often ask students to write is about career goals.

Is there a limit to how many words needed to write?

This may depend on the directions in the paper, but for a high school essay application it would range between 300 words to 1000 words.

Do I need to reach the word count for it to be considered a good essay?

It is not the word count that matters but what you have written. This is what counts.

What other types of essays are there?

There are a lot of types but the most common are career essays , narrative essays and argumentative essays

Writing an essay can be tiresome or difficult if you have no idea what to do or what to write. But with some examples shown above and some tips on writing them, it would be easier. Remembering how to write an essay and how to construct the right words would make a whole lot of difference. A few things to consider when writing, be creative but concise the same time.

Choose a topic you want to talk about and go from there. Do not make it too lengthy that you lose sight of what you really wish to convey. Lastly, you don’t need to reach the 1000 word word count, as long as you reach the minimum word count. For a high school student, that would be around 300 words. Now that you have some ideas on what to write and how to do it, I hope your next essay would be something to be proud of.

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College Admissions , College Essays

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The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

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Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

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Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We'll learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay that you'll proudly submit to your top choice colleges.

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Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

  • 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

  • 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
  • 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
  • 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
  • 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
  • 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

  • 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
  • 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
  • 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
  • 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
  • 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
  • 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
  • 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

  • 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

  • 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

  • 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
  • 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

  • 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
  • 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2023
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2022
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2021
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2020
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2019
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2018
  • 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

  • 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

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Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

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Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

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Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

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An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

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Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

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An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

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Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
  • Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
  • Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
  • Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

body-gears-cogs-puzzle-cc0

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

body_next_step_drawing_blackboard

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now:

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The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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How to Write a Private High School Application Essay Worth Reading

Forget everything you’ve ever learned about writing an essay.

Okay, I may be being a bit melodramatic. You still need appropriate grammar, syntax, spelling, and formatting.

But as for the generic boring cluster that begins with “In this essay I am going to be discussing ___ by looking at x,y, and z,” throw that out the window because it’s nothing but a one way ticket to Snoozeville not only for you but for anyone tasked with reading it.

Remember Your Private High School Application Essay Audience

The biggest mistake students make when writing an essay is that they forget who their audience is . Your audience, be it a teacher, an administrator, or an admissions committee, has likely read hundreds if not thousands of student’s admissions essays.

This means that you are going to have to do more than throw in a few SAT words to impress them. The key to writing an essay worth reading is writing an essay that has not been written before by any other essay writer . It needs to be your own story, not the story you think they want to hear.

One of my favorite things about writing is that there is no right or wrong answer. An essay isn’t a scantron that you have to correctly bubble in or risk some computer incorrectly grading you.  You can’t just play eenie miney moe and hope for the best. Writing is personal. It’s written by one individual and read by another.

But all too often students, especially in the application process , forget this. They write the essay they think that the admission committee wants to read when in reality it’s an essay that the committee has probably already read a million times.

The Importance of the Essay Topic

What is the root of this cause? The topic.

If your topic is flawed, cliché, generic, or boring, it doesn’t matter how well crafted your essay is it will be forgotten. When approaching your admission essay, think of it this way: when the admission committee begins reading your essay they’ll view you as just a number, but when they finish it you want them to view you as an individual student.

So, how do we accomplish this?

It’s simple: don’t write the essay you think an admissions committee wants to read, write one that YOU would want to read . If your own essay bores you, it’s highly likely that it will bore everyone else.

Let’s say that your topic is to discuss an extracurricular activity that has played a large impact on your life. A lot of times students are tempted to write what they think the admission committee want to hear.

“I love to volunteer because it has taught me to be appreciative of what I have,”

Or “I love National Honors Society because it allows me to combine my love of academics with my love of service.”

While both of these are wonderful extracurricular activities, unless you are truly passionate about either and have specific details to intertwine into your narrative, it’s going to come off dry and predictable.

What Your Topic Should Be Instead

When describing their ideal student, one of the top words used by the Director of Admissions at some of DC’s top private schools is “passionate.”

Admissions Committees are not looking for a cookie-cutter student; rather they are looking for a student who genuinely loves something and will share that love with other students .

So if you love to spend your weekends driving four-wheelers or riding horses or making short films on iMovie, write about that because I can assure you that your natural enthusiasm will read a whole lot better than the stale and generic “I love to volunteer” response – unless that is actually what you spend your weekends doing.

The Essay’s Opening Paragraph

Don’t believe me?

Consider these two opening paragraphs. You tell me which one you want to keep reading?

1. “’Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.’ These famous words were spoken by John F. Kennedy, one of the best politicians of all life. John F. Kennedy led America and has become my role model. He encouraged me to get into politics which is why I joined student government. When asked what extracurricular activity has had the largest impact on me as a person, I immediately thought of student government. In this essay I will discuss how student government has impacted me as a person by growing my leadership skills, developing my social connections, and making me take academics more seriously.”

2. “I don’t ride for blue ribbons or Olympic gold, although I respect and admire those chosen few who do. I don’t ride for the workout, although my trembling muscles at the end of a good lesson indicate otherwise. I don’t ride because I have anything to prove, although I’ve proven a lot to myself along the way. I ride for the feeling of two individual beings becoming one, so perfectly matched that it’s impossible to tell where rider ends and horse begins. I ride to feel the staccato beat of hooves against dirt echoed in the rhythm of my own heart. I ride because it isn’t easy to navigate a creature with a mind of its own around a course of solid obstacles, but in that perfect moment when horse and rider work as one, it can be the easiest thing in the world. I ride for an affectionate nose nudging my shoulder as I turn to leave, searching for a treat or a pat or murmured words of praise. I ride for myself, but for my horse as well, my partner and my equal.”

Next Steps: Your Perfect Admissions Essay

Okay now you have the framework.

First, remember that you’re writing to a private school admissions audience that has probably seen every high school application essay in the book. So don’t write the one you think they want to read… write the one that you care most about.

Then, choose the essay topic that resonates most with you as a student. That enthusiasm will shine through in your writing, and hopefully “wow” the reader enough to convince them they have to have you at their school.

best high school application essays

Sample Student Essay for Private High School Admissions

Sample Student Essay for Private High School Admissions

Student essays are an important part of the private high school admissions process for students in New York City. While information like grades and test scores can help an admissions committee evaluate a student’s raw performance, essays are a key way for students to demonstrate their unique voice and personality. Treat student essays like mini interviews: they’re a chance to let admissions committees really get to know the student. 

We recommend starting student essay drafts as soon as possible (in the summer or early fall) to allow plenty of time for a thoughtful drafting process. One of the first steps to begin drafting essays is to identify the prompt(s) to write about. Students may have a variety of prompts to choose from, or they may be given a specific prompt. This depends on the student’s age (middle versus high school) and whether the school they’re applying to is an ISAAGNY member school or not. 

Here are several example essay prompts from the past: 

  • Describe a family tradition and why it is meaningful or important to you. 
  • What is a topic/skill that you learned about within the past year that was not assigned to you in school?
  • What brings you joy? What activities, pursuits, or interests have made you happiest over the past few months or years, and why?
  • What activity/interest or accomplishment are you most proud of and why?
  • Tell us about a time you were brave. 

Regardless of prompt, we encourage students to write about a subject that genuinely interests them and feels rich and dynamic enough to write several paragraphs about. Essays are a way to show off creative writing skills, but make sure that essays present a consistent application narrative and a relatively consistent application of writing voice (across each essay, graded writing samples , etc.). 

When approaching the student essay writing process, reading a sample essay is one of the most helpful ways to begin brainstorming. Here’s a sample student essay for private high school admissions that effectively provides a window into the student’s passions and way of thinking. 

*Note that this is a fictional sample, not a real student essay. 

Sample Private High School Admissions Essay

Prompt: What is your favorite work of art (visual, written, musical, etc.)? Why is it meaningful to you?

“If you could say it in words there would be no reason to paint,” is a famous quote by artist Edward Hopper that has always inspired me. I’m naturally drawn to Hopper’s distinctive style of concrete, representational scenes; he was a master at manipulating light to create striking contrast and focus. But I appreciate Hopper’s art for more than just aesthetic choices; I connect deeply to Hopper’s intent to communicate memories and feelings through art. As a budding artist myself, my goal is to inspire real nostalgia and emotion with my paintings, the same way that Hopper’s works do for me. 

For example, Hopper’s “House By The Railroad,” completed in 1925, brings back many memories for me. The painting depicts a grand Victorian home with railroad tracks nearly underneath it. Like many of Hopper’s works, the scene is inspired by Hopper’s hometown of Nyack, New York, which happens to be the same town my grandparents live in. Even just a quick glance at the painting reminds me of walking up to my grandparents home in the summertime to greet them standing on the large front porch. Their home was situated not far from railroad tracks in Nyack, similar to the house in the painting. Whenever I see the piece, I’m reminded of the happy memories I’ve created at my grandparents’ home: eating grilled cheese and tomato soup on the front porch with my grandmother, hearing the train to Manhattan go by in the distance, and other everyday pleasures. 

In fact, from an early age, my grandparents encouraged my interest in Hopper’s art. My grandfather brought me to Hopper’s childhood home, which has since been turned into a museum, for the first time when I was ten years old. I still remember feeling awed as a young girl just being in the home of such a renowned artist; we visited his childhood bedroom and the spaces that eventually became subjects of his artwork, and I was inspired to find artistic inspiration in my own immediate surroundings. 

That’s clearly what Hopper aimed to do. I love that so much of Edward Hopper’s art captures standard American life. While many of Hopper’s paintings are of everyday scenes (homes, bedrooms, and more), his use of light and positioning of human figures adds nostalgic character to even the most mundane of scenes. Hopper’s art can teach us that even day-to-day moments can be striking and noteworthy. 

I recently visited an exhibition on Edward Hopper at the Whitney Museum of American Art in Manhattan. Again, I found myself drawn to “House By The Railroad,” and other paintings that depict houses and restaurants and other run-of-the-mill spaces, made distinctive and beautiful with Hopper’s earnest, light-filled approach. Seeing Hopper’s art again in person brought back many memories and feelings for me, many of them from carefree days with my grandparents in Nyack. Someday, I hope to be able to evoke similar emotion through my own artwork.

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Kindergarten Readiness: Literacy, Numeracy, Socio-Emotional, and More Development Skills

Kindergarten Readiness: Literacy, Numeracy, Socio-Emotional, and More Development Skills

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College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4.

  • Writing a strong college admissions essay
  • Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
  • Brainstorming tips for your college essay
  • How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
  • Taking your college essay to the next level
  • Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback

Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback

  • Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
  • Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
  • Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
  • Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
  • Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem
  • Writing tips and techniques for your college essay

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Sample essay 2, feedback from admissions.

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Tips for Writing an Effective Application Essay

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How to Write an Effective Essay

Writing an essay for college admission gives you a chance to use your authentic voice and show your personality. It's an excellent opportunity to personalize your application beyond your academic credentials, and a well-written essay can have a positive influence come decision time.

Want to know how to draft an essay for your college application ? Here are some tips to keep in mind when writing.

Tips for Essay Writing

A typical college application essay, also known as a personal statement, is 400-600 words. Although that may seem short, writing about yourself can be challenging. It's not something you want to rush or put off at the last moment. Think of it as a critical piece of the application process. Follow these tips to write an impactful essay that can work in your favor.

1. Start Early.

Few people write well under pressure. Try to complete your first draft a few weeks before you have to turn it in. Many advisers recommend starting as early as the summer before your senior year in high school. That way, you have ample time to think about the prompt and craft the best personal statement possible.

You don't have to work on your essay every day, but you'll want to give yourself time to revise and edit. You may discover that you want to change your topic or think of a better way to frame it. Either way, the sooner you start, the better.

2. Understand the Prompt and Instructions.

Before you begin the writing process, take time to understand what the college wants from you. The worst thing you can do is skim through the instructions and submit a piece that doesn't even fit the bare minimum requirements or address the essay topic. Look at the prompt, consider the required word count, and note any unique details each school wants.

3. Create a Strong Opener.

Students seeking help for their application essays often have trouble getting things started. It's a challenging writing process. Finding the right words to start can be the hardest part.

Spending more time working on your opener is always a good idea. The opening sentence sets the stage for the rest of your piece. The introductory paragraph is what piques the interest of the reader, and it can immediately set your essay apart from the others.

4. Stay on Topic.

One of the most important things to remember is to keep to the essay topic. If you're applying to 10 or more colleges, it's easy to veer off course with so many application essays.

A common mistake many students make is trying to fit previously written essays into the mold of another college's requirements. This seems like a time-saving way to avoid writing new pieces entirely, but it often backfires. The result is usually a final piece that's generic, unfocused, or confusing. Always write a new essay for every application, no matter how long it takes.

5. Think About Your Response.

Don't try to guess what the admissions officials want to read. Your essay will be easier to write─and more exciting to read─if you’re genuinely enthusiastic about your subject. Here’s an example: If all your friends are writing application essays about covid-19, it may be a good idea to avoid that topic, unless during the pandemic you had a vivid, life-changing experience you're burning to share. Whatever topic you choose, avoid canned responses. Be creative.

6. Focus on You.

Essay prompts typically give you plenty of latitude, but panel members expect you to focus on a subject that is personal (although not overly intimate) and particular to you. Admissions counselors say the best essays help them learn something about the candidate that they would never know from reading the rest of the application.

7. Stay True to Your Voice.

Use your usual vocabulary. Avoid fancy language you wouldn't use in real life. Imagine yourself reading this essay aloud to a classroom full of people who have never met you. Keep a confident tone. Be wary of words and phrases that undercut that tone.

8. Be Specific and Factual.

Capitalize on real-life experiences. Your essay may give you the time and space to explain why a particular achievement meant so much to you. But resist the urge to exaggerate and embellish. Admissions counselors read thousands of essays each year. They can easily spot a fake.

9. Edit and Proofread.

When you finish the final draft, run it through the spell checker on your computer. Then don’t read your essay for a few days. You'll be more apt to spot typos and awkward grammar when you reread it. After that, ask a teacher, parent, or college student (preferably an English or communications major) to give it a quick read. While you're at it, double-check your word count.

Writing essays for college admission can be daunting, but it doesn't have to be. A well-crafted essay could be the deciding factor─in your favor. Keep these tips in mind, and you'll have no problem creating memorable pieces for every application.

What is the format of a college application essay?

Generally, essays for college admission follow a simple format that includes an opening paragraph, a lengthier body section, and a closing paragraph. You don't need to include a title, which will only take up extra space. Keep in mind that the exact format can vary from one college application to the next. Read the instructions and prompt for more guidance.

Most online applications will include a text box for your essay. If you're attaching it as a document, however, be sure to use a standard, 12-point font and use 1.5-spaced or double-spaced lines, unless the application specifies different font and spacing.

How do you start an essay?

The goal here is to use an attention grabber. Think of it as a way to reel the reader in and interest an admissions officer in what you have to say. There's no trick on how to start a college application essay. The best way you can approach this task is to flex your creative muscles and think outside the box.

You can start with openers such as relevant quotes, exciting anecdotes, or questions. Either way, the first sentence should be unique and intrigue the reader.

What should an essay include?

Every application essay you write should include details about yourself and past experiences. It's another opportunity to make yourself look like a fantastic applicant. Leverage your experiences. Tell a riveting story that fulfills the prompt.

What shouldn’t be included in an essay?

When writing a college application essay, it's usually best to avoid overly personal details and controversial topics. Although these topics might make for an intriguing essay, they can be tricky to express well. If you’re unsure if a topic is appropriate for your essay, check with your school counselor. An essay for college admission shouldn't include a list of achievements or academic accolades either. Your essay isn’t meant to be a rehashing of information the admissions panel can find elsewhere in your application.

How can you make your essay personal and interesting?

The best way to make your essay interesting is to write about something genuinely important to you. That could be an experience that changed your life or a valuable lesson that had an enormous impact on you. Whatever the case, speak from the heart, and be honest.

Is it OK to discuss mental health in an essay?

Mental health struggles can create challenges you must overcome during your education and could be an opportunity for you to show how you’ve handled challenges and overcome obstacles. If you’re considering writing your essay for college admission on this topic, consider talking to your school counselor or with an English teacher on how to frame the essay.

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How to Write High School Admissions Essays

best high school application essays

A key part of the high school admissions process is writing essays. For me, these essays were the chief part of the application and the thing I placed the most emphasis on. These essays would vary in length, question type, and style, but through my time applying to high school, I found there were three universal steps that helped my writing. I continue to use these three criteria in my normal essays and know they can help you write your high school essays for applications. Here are the three criteria I use for my essays. 

Organize Central Idea and Supporting Points 

To effectively answer an essay question, you have to come up with a central idea that you build upon. For instance, if a question asks you how you would contribute to the culture of the school, your character could be your central idea. From there, you can build upon your character by explaining what makes it up such as integrity and discipline. This support for your main idea is key in all essays. If you really want to answer the prompt well, center your thoughts around the main idea. This will not only make your writing better but easier to think through. 

Communicate Effectively With Your Style

As I said before, high school essays cover many kinds of topics, and it can sometimes be difficult to accurately assess how to answer each particular question. Once you think through the question and think of your central idea and supporting points, you need to figure out how to effectively get your point across in your writing style. You may want to introduce your central idea and then list your supporting points then analysis. Or you may want to introduce your central idea and weave in analysis and support together. How you write your essay should vary on each type of question, but if you figure out your writing style after you organize your ideas, writing essays becomes much easier.   

Final Outline 

After you organize your central idea, supporting points, and writing style, you want to put them all together into an outline before actually writing the essay. An outline helps organize everything you want to say in your essay. It serves as a draft that you follow when writing. Outlines can help you identify where you want to break ideas up or where to put each idea you came up with. Essentially, outlines are a final check for your essay plan and help you organize everything you want to say in your essay 

If you follow these three steps, writing high school admissions essays will become much easier to write and think through. I still use these three criteria to write essays because these skills are universal. These will not only help you get into high school but also strengthen your writing for years to come. 

Jacob Brucker is a senior at Xavier High School in NYC. He is an editor of the school newspaper Xavier Review, loves to spend time outdoors, and enjoys journalistic writing. 

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How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter and How to Pick the Right Candidate for the Job

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Recommendation letters are a key aspect of high school applications and are a great way to demonstrate your character and abilities from another perspective. While not mandatory in some schools, it’s highly encouraged and should be seen as a requirement. But, who do you ask for a recommendation letter? Choosing who to ask is very important and should be someone that has seen your growth as a student. Most schools usually require at least one recommendation letter from a core teacher (Math, Science, Social Studies, etc) and one letter from either another teacher, mentor, coach, or counselor. So after making a list of potential candidates take some time to consider a very important question. “Who knows you the most?”. If you choose a candidate that barely knows you, their letter may sound disingenuous and phony. So when selecting a recommender, you should consider someone who has had a significant impact on your life and should be someone who knows you both academically and personally and can attest to your abilities, interests, achievements, and growth.

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Attending an Online High School: What to Consider

Students needing a flexible schedule are often drawn to online high schools, experts say.

Attending an Online High School

An aerial view of a teenage girl attending a zoom class using her laptop and studying from her bedroom at home.

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An online high school student's social life may look at little different, but certainly not non-existent.

Recent technological advancements and a growing desire for flexibility have increased the popularity of online learning, experts say. While colleges have offered online degree pathways for decades, there are also various options for students to earn their high school diploma online.

Many local public school districts offer an online version of their curriculum, and students can also choose from private and independently run public options. Some offer students the ability to attend full time or part time.

“It’s really nice that there are more options, especially for students with health issues," says Nellie Brennan Hall, a senior private counselor at education consulting firm Top Tier Admissions. "I would say a lot of students go into it thinking, ‘This is going to be great. I’m going to be at home and I can sit in my pajamas and do online school.' But there are a lot of things to be aware of before you select that route."

Consider these

Experts say students should ensure any program is accredited and awards a legitimate diploma. Beyond that, students should take time to research and find the program that best fits them and consider the trade-offs of attending high school remotely versus in person, experts say.

"This online environment is not for everybody, but it is for some," says Richard Savage, superintendent of California Online Public Schools, a network of six tuition-free online charter high schools. "And for some, they thrive in this environment."

Here are some questions students should ask when deciding whether to attend an online high school.

Does Online High School Match My Learning Style?

Students who tend to do best in an online learning environment are independent learners and self-starters, experts say. Online instruction offers more autonomy than traditional school settings, but with that comes more responsibility for students to maintain their own schedule, keep track of deadlines and practice self-advocacy.

Some students may struggle without a live, in-person instructor in front of them, Brennan Hall says. “It takes a little bit more self-awareness and ability to sit down and do things on your own."

Students who are prone to procrastination, struggle with organization or have a learning difference may not fare as well in an online setting, experts say.

“The kids that we find that are successful in our program do really well in college because they know what needs to be done, they understand deadlines and they meet those deadlines," Savage says.

One misconception about online programs, Savage says, is that the relationship between teacher and student is diminished in an online setting. In many cases it's the opposite, he says, because online teachers aren't bound to a bell schedule like those in traditional settings, allowing them to have more flexibility to meet one on one with students who need extra help.

Does My Lifestyle Require a Flexible School Schedule?

Many students choose the online high school path because it allows them to create a schedule that fits with the demands of sports or other activities that they've chosen to pursue and potentially make a career out of, Brennan Hall says. For these students, being in school during traditional school hours isn't feasible.

For example, when she was associate director of admissions at Brown University in Rhode Island, Brennan Hall says she often screened applications from tennis recruits who earned their high school diploma online. An online pathway allowed them to spend the majority of their days training at an elite level while completing school work on their own time.

Similarly, Savage says some of the students at CALOPS schools are television actors, so completing their school work online allows them to attend casting calls, rehearsals or recordings without having to miss instructional time or feel stressed about completing schoolwork.

“If you want to do all your math for the whole semester in the month of January and you want to focus on English in December, that can be done," he says. "We don’t encourage it. We’d really prefer that you do the work along the path that your teacher is going to be helping you."

What Are Social Trade-offs of High School Online?

One of the biggest differences in attending high school online versus in person is the social interaction aspect, experts say. Online courses are often completed independently rather than in a class of peers, and attending school online often precludes students from experiencing traditional high school activities like lunch room conversations, pep assemblies, field trips and school-based extracurricular activities.

Students who have been bullied or harassed may find the online setting preferable from a social standpoint. But others may find it isolating and feel like they're missing out on experiences with classmates and friends.

Students training for a sport are likely socializing with other students they train with, Brennan Hall says, and religious groups, community organizations or jobs also provide avenues for students to interact with friends and peers.

Online students may also be able to play sports for their resident high school, and policies often vary by state, district and individual school.

If the social aspect is an important factor, students should research opportunities a prospective online school provides. For example, CALOPS provides a prom for their students, with one for Northern California-based students and another in Southern California. It also organizes field trips, a winter formal dance, college visits and two in-person graduations, Savage says.

Attending high school online doesn't have to spell the end of a student's social life – it just might look a little different and take a little more effort, Brennan Hall says.

“They have to be careful to schedule things in, almost like a homeschooler , making sure they’re finding other outlets where they can connect with peers their age," she says.

How Much Does an Online High School Cost?

Online high school programs vary in cost. CALOPS is public and tuition-free, and some other local district online offerings are also free of charge.

But private online high schools may have price tags anywhere between $20,000 and $40,000 per year, says Sasha Chada, founder and CEO of admissions consulting firm Ivy Scholars. He often recommends students research whether their local district is compatible with Florida Virtual School, which would provide another free option.

"If that’s not an option, it’s worth it to explore local district options," he says. "Really try to talk to parents and students who participate, and even then you’re getting very myopic views of it."

In addition to tuition costs, students need to consider the cost of technology used and any software necessary to complete schoolwork. Students may be able to find scholarships to help reduce costs.

"The other thing you might want to consider is you might need to hire outside tutors, like an in-person tutor, so that would add to expenses as well," Brennan Hall says.

What Is the Curriculum and Instruction Like?

A high school education is intended to prepare students for their next steps, whether that's college, a career or military service. Those considering an online high school should ensure the curriculum is rigorous and will help them achieve their long-term goals.

One potential benefit of online high schools is a wide variety of career pathway elective courses, Savage says. At CALOPS, students can choose from several computer programming electives, such as video game design and HTML, as well as introductory courses on law enforcement, tourism and emergency medical services.

"We have a wide variety because we’re not tied to a bell schedule where that one course, we’re having to pay a teacher to teach that one course and it’s taking up space on a traditional setting," Savage says. "A lot of times, those electives kind of run themselves and the teacher needs to make sure the students are making progress and help them out with any specific concepts, but for the most part it just doesn’t cost us as much money."

Many online high schools use tools like Zoom or Google Meet to hold some class sessions and small group breakouts, and use virtual discussion board assignments to foster classroom discussions. Chada says he's seen good and bad programs, and the good ones tend to simulate the in-person classroom experience as much as possible.

"I think it’s pretty important to maintain that class coherency for having students discuss in a peer setting," he says. "The best programs I’ve seen take advantage of the online modality by having students use collaborative tools to work together."

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10 Winning Scholarship Essay Examples From Real Students

Make your application shine.

Only at the ice rink could I be myself; the feeling of the cold rink breeze embracing me, the ripping sound of blades touching the ice, even the occasional ice burning my skin as I fell—these were my few constants.

Writing a scholarship essay can be intimidating. The competition is fierce and the stakes are high, so students are bound to feel the pressure. It may be helpful, therefore, to look at essays that were successful. What did those students do to impress the committee? These scholarship essay examples will give you a better idea of how to make an application shine! 

Tips for Writing a Scholarship Essay

We’ve put together a whole guide for how to write a scholarship essay , so if you haven’t read it already, definitely give it a look! In addition, here are some quick tips to help students get started. 

Carefully read the rules

The last thing you need is to be disqualified from winning a scholarship because you didn’t do the right thing. 

Start early

Don’t wait until the last minute to start researching and applying for scholarships. Give yourself plenty of time to work through the process. 

Get to know the provider

Think of the scholarship provider as your target audience. You want to tailor your essay to impress them, so do your research. What kinds of candidates are they looking for? What causes do they support? Dig deep for the information you need!

Think about who you are, what you want to say, and how to appeal to the scholarship committee. Write everything down and then choose the best ideas. 

The scholarship committee will be reviewing many applications. How can you make yours unforgettable? Highlight your strongest assets, share hard lessons if they showcase your growth as a person and/or student, and be honest. Never lie in a scholarship essay!

Be professional

Consider this the most important academic paper you’ve ever written. Don’t use slang or casual language. Submit a properly formatted essay that’s been well-edited and proofread by multiple people.

One last tip

Don’t reuse scholarship essays! Yes, it’s time-consuming, but students need to put the same effort into every application. Use the same process and it will get faster and easier every time!

Scholarship Essay Examples

Afc visionary scholarship essay by nicole kuznetsov.

Award Amount: $5,000

Essay prompt: Why do you want to go to college? Why is it important to you?

Why it was successful: The  beauty of this essay is that it’s well-organized and simple. Nicole Kuznetsov chose to outline her story by using chronology and provided a clean, concise story following a linear path.

As a child, my life had structure. Coloring books had lines, letters took on very specific shapes, and a system of rules governed everything from board games to the classroom.

North Coast Section Foundation Scholarship Essay by Christine Fung

Award Amount: $1,000

Why it was successful: Christine Fung masterfully shared how her upbringing instilled strong values, a love for education, and a passion for medicine .

The more involved I became, the more I learned as a leader and as a person.

The Bill Browning Scholarship Essay by Gabby DeMott

Award Amount: $10,000

Essay prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Why it was successful: Gabby DeMott shared her experiences with personal growth and overcoming fears in Germany. She also appealed to the very human feeling of wanting to belong in a way that was inspiring. 

Never have I felt so accepted while being an outsider, so proud of a country that isn’t even mine, so part of something I didn’t really belong to.

Life Happens Scholarship Essay by Emily Trader

Award Amount: $15,000

Essay prompt: How has the death of a parent or guardian impacted your life financially and emotionally? Be sure to describe how the loss of your parent/guardian impacted your college plans, and explain how the lack of adequate (or any) life insurance coverage has impacted your family’s financial situation.

Why it was successful: Emily Trader fully addressed the prompt in honest, beautiful detail. She knew her audience and tailored her essay to appeal to them while telling her compelling story. 

If this devastating experience has taught me anything, it is this: financial planning for these situations is absolutely invaluable.

Change a Life Foundation Scholarship Essay by Isabella Mendez-Figueroa

Essay prompt: Please explain how your experience volunteering and participating in community service has shaped your perspective on humanity. Elaborate on how these experiences have influenced your future ambitions and career choice.

Why it was successful: Isabella Mendez-Figueroa shared an empowering story about her parents overcoming financial adversity so that she and her sister could be the first in their family to go to college. 

As I’ve grown I’ve learned to fight my own monsters but I now also battle the ones that frighten my parents, the monsters of a world that they weren’t born into.

Giva Scholarship Essay by Joseph Lee

Essay prompt: Who is (or what makes) a good doctor?

Why it was successful: Joseph Lee offered a captivating , personal story that was essentially a list of things that make someone a good doctor without it feeling boring or calculated. 

I learned such lessons in the purest manner possible, by being a patient myself, and will use them to guide me in all future patient encounters, as I strive to be a

New York University College of Arts and Science Scholarship by Ana

Award amount: $39,500 

Essay prompt: Explain something that made a big impact in your life.

Why it was successful: Ana discussed how early experiences w ith learning difficult things has contributed to her passion for teaching and supporting students. 

Only at the ice rink could I be myself; the feeling of the cold rink breeze embracing me, the ripping sound of blades touching the ice, even the occasional ice burning my skin as I fell—these were my few constants.

The Fund for Education Abroad Rainbow Scholarship Essay  by Steven Fisher

Award amount: $7,500

Essay prompt: The Fund for Education Abroad is committed to diversifying education abroad by providing funding to students who are typically under-represented in study abroad. Please describe how you and/or your plans for study abroad could be viewed as under-represented.

Why it was successful: Steven Fisher’s powerful essay   connected his realizations about his own sexual identity with embracing the beautiful diversity found all around the world. 

My growth as a person was exponential. I rewrote so many areas of my life where I didn’t do things I wanted because of social conditioning.

Women’s World Banking Founder’s Scholarship Essay by Rosaisha Ozoria

Essay prompt: Write about your hopes for the future of women and girls worldwide.

Why it was successful: Rosaisha Ozoria   focused on a very specific topic , financial literacy for Hispanic women, and emphasized its importance and relevance to her own life. 

This is a tremendous goal, but for me, it is an opportunity to make a difference – in my neighborhood and for my Spanish community.

The Millennium Gates Last Dollar Scholarship Essay by Famyrah Lafortune

Award amount: $3,500

Essay prompt: Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” —Nelson Mandela Describe a change you would like to make in the world. Tell us about how you would plan to make that change, and what obstacles you might encounter along the way.

Why it was successful: Famyrah Lafortune starts with a strong statement about ending racial inequality and then details the steps she’ll take to make it happen. 

By raising awareness of racial disparities that occur everywhere, I might encourage a new wave of change in our country ...

Do you have any great scholarship essay examples? Share them below!

Plus, check out  the ultimate guide to college scholarships, want more suggestions be sure to subscribe to our newsletters ..

Need money for college? These scholarship essay examples will help your application stand out over the competition!

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Private School Admissions Student Essays: What Do I Say?

Posted on: December 7, 2021

One of the most stressful parts of the private school admissions process is the looming idea of writing an essay, or even multiple essays. In many ways, the essays make this process feel much like the dreaded college admissions process, even though you may be in 6th, 7th, or 8th grade now. I work with lots of students facing this very challenge, which become especially acute around the holidays. Right now, your fall semester is mostly behind you, you’re close to finished with standardized testing, and the only thing looming between you and a restful holiday break is a stack of essays.

Here are my tips and tricks learned from years of reading admissions essays on the school side of things and from supporting students on the application guidance side of things.

An essay is not your autobiography. You do not need to share everything you have ever done or every aspect of who you are. The goal is to introduce yourself to the admissions committee. Make a few key points and give yourself space to expand on those points.

Your essay should not feel like a list (even of accomplishments). It is tempting — understandably! — to feel like you need to write about everything you have done to demonstrate that you are worthy of admission and ready to take on the next level of school. You probably want to impress the admissions readers. But remember: those readers are people! They’re people who have chosen to work in schools because they love getting to know students. They want to read this essay, so it should feel like an enjoyable read. If they wanted a list of accomplishments, they would have asked for a resume.

Make sure it feels like an essay. Use your best writing skills! Think about transitions and style. You want your essay to reflect your voice, to feel authentic, and be interesting.

Use examples . Even though you DON’T want your essay to read like a resume, you DO want to be concrete. Abstract ideas are a start, but if you want to be memorable, you need to offer a tangible sense of who you are. Writers often use a rule this rule: Show, Don’t Tell . Rather than telling the reader that you are kind, why don’t you share a story when you felt that your kindness made a difference?

Think deeply. This essay is your chance to introduce yourself. Be reflective and thoughtful. A great way to accomplish this kind of reflection is to take a look at every point you are making and ask yourself, “Why?”

If the school asks what kinds of books you like to read, choose a few titles you like and ask yourself if they have anything in common. Maybe you like adventure books, or maybe you like books with great main characters who you can really get to know. That’s the first step. But the second step is “Why?” Why do you like adventure books? Why are great, strong characters appealing to you?” Write a few sentences about the books and then think about adding something that begins with “because.”

Consider your values. While you are thinking deeply about your ‘why’s, make a list of what is important to you. Every school has a sense of its mission as a school. They’re trying to get a sense of your mission as a student and as a young person. Think about what is important to you and then share those thoughts. Maybe you are super-committed to service, so you want to be in a school with lots of opportunities for volunteering and serving your community. Think about what makes you happiest, whether that’s learning, athletics, leadership, the arts, or something else altogether. Whatever it may be, spend some time on it. Sharing your real sense of who you are and what makes you thrive will help the school the reasons you could be such a great student.

The essays or short-answer questions on the private school application can seem daunting. But if you are thoughtful and true to yourself, you’re sure to find a great spot.

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3 Tips for Writing Your Child's Private School Application Essay

How to harness the power of storytelling.

Soojung-Smith

By Soojung Smith

Published on: october 30, 2017.

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It’s that time of year again: the busy admissions season for private and independent K–12 schools. Keeping track of each school's open houses, campus tours, parent and student interview dates and test requirements can feel like a full-time job. 

Each year, more families are considering private schools for their children and competition for top private schools in the greater Seattle area has become increasingly fierce. Some elite private schools admit fewer than 10 percent of their applicants from a highly qualified candidate pool. High standardized test (SSAT and ISEE) scores and GPAs alone, unfortunately, don’t guarantee a spot at these coveted schools. They're interested in forming a diverse and well-rounded student body that delves beyond students’ test scores and grades.

Some elite private schools admit fewer than 10 percent of their applicants.

One of the biggest mistakes I've seen families make in preparing their child’s applications for admission is to treat the information they submit as separate data points. Rather than painting a complete picture of their student, parent and student essays often read like a student activity form.

To give your child the best chance of success, it's important to be intentional and thoughtful about your child’s application. Remember that admission committees are interested in learning about your child and what your family can offer, and how you will contribute to their schools and school communities.

Here are a few tips to help you make the most of your child's private school application.

Know what it is you want to say about your child and your family: What are the key messages you want to convey?  

  • Think about how you and others see your child. You as parents? Grandparents? Their siblings? How would their friends describe them? Teachers? Neighbors?
  • What keywords begin to emerge? Kind? Mature? Creative? Curious? Inventive? A maker? A leader?
  • Choose three to five themes that best capture core identities of your child.
  • Use your child’s essential qualities, be it their achievements, unique experiences, activities or interests to make the connection to these themes.
  • Once themes emerge, look broadly and creatively at parent and student essays, activity profile, teacher recommendations, and other application elements for opportunities to weave these ideas together for differentiation.

Start working on essays and other application elements

  • Typically, families apply for three to five schools and, depending upon schools under consideration, you may end up with writing not only a common set of essays but also other unique ones they require from applicants and their families.
  • These requirements all add up, expecting a significant amount of time and efforts on your and your child’s end. Good writing is a process; it doesn’t happen overnight. Be prepared to go through three rounds of drafts of parent and student essays to get to final “quality” ones you and your student feel proud of. Try to have solid first drafts by the end of October, the second one by the end of November and the final draft by the end of December.   
  • Make sure you write parent essays while your child writes their student essays. You can lend help to your child, but they need to provide original and thoughtful answers in their portion of the applications as well as during interviews. Schools can tell if a parent writes student essays and even go so far as to collect writing samples.

Use essays and other application elements for effective storytelling

  • Use a parent statement, student essays and an extracurricular activity profile to let the reader in: Who is your child? What do they care most? Who is their hero? Why? How do these insights connect with other information you are submitting about your child and your family? Is there a particular story(ies) that helps to describe your child and your family best?
  • Distill the story that defines your child and your family in the space provided in online applications before the deadline for completed applications. Each essay question has a specific word count you can’t exceed, so be mindful of how you will use precious real estate to convey main messages for differentiation.

Effective storytelling alone won’t necessarily put your child over the top if they aren't already a competitive candidate. But it goes hand-in-hand with solid standardized test scores and GPAs for robust applications. Let schools know how unique your child and your family are. Let them know how your child and family will contribute to a diverse student body. Good luck!

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About the author.

Soojung-Smith

Soojung Smith is a family education coach, author, CEO and board advisor, and former Microsoft marketing executive. Her children attend two private schools on the Eastside. Soojung supports parents with challenging issues such as private school vs. public school, private school admissions, and students’ executive functioning skills and their public speaking competencies. Email Soojung at  [email protected] .

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High School Admission Essays Samples For Students

40 samples of this type

WowEssays.com paper writer service proudly presents to you an open-access database of High School Admission Essays designed to help struggling students tackle their writing challenges. In a practical sense, each High School Admission Essay sample presented here may be a guide that walks you through the essential stages of the writing process and showcases how to develop an academic work that hits the mark. Besides, if you require more visionary assistance, these examples could give you a nudge toward an original High School Admission Essay topic or encourage a novice approach to a banal issue.

In case this is not enough to quench the thirst for efficient writing help, you can request customized assistance in the form of a model Admission Essay on High School crafted by an expert from scratch and tailored to your particular instructions. Be it a plain 2-page paper or a sophisticated, lengthy piece, our writers specialized in High School and related topics will deliver it within the pre-agreed period. Buy cheap essays or research papers now!

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In my enrollment at the University of Central Florida, I believe my particular background and abilities will serve me well in contributing to the student body and the academic/social makeup of the school.

Nursing Admission Essay Example

Degree objective: Nursing

Common Application Short Answer Admission Essay

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In this essay I would like to describe why I consider that I deserve studying in the New York Film Academy to pursue the degree of Master of Fine Arts in Filmmaking. First, I want to describe my personal history and experience that resulted in my interest to the art of filmmaking. Then I will show my aspirations and goals, how I can realize them with the help of the NYFA and how I can help the academic community.

Admission Essay On Why You Want To Be A Physician Assistant (pa)

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I developed an interest in pursuing nursing as a career when I was 15 years of age. Certain events in my life, which began in the 6th grade, contributed to my interest in a profession that could provide comfort and save lives. Becoming a nurse is my biggest dream, and I hope to achieve it to improve health standards of those around me.

Pennsylvania State University Admission Essay

Admission essay on why do i want to become an architecture.

Humans are interested in dominating over their fellow humans. They thus develop an urge to control their fellow humans and this is magnified in their quest for success. Through academic success, scholars always hold a position, not so common among their fellow individuals. My intention has always been to be a prosperous architect. Both talent and passion shape up future architects. By having distinct architectural ambitions, the people indulged into these fields find it hard to have shallow-minded objectives.

Law School Admission Statement Admission Essay

There I was lying in my bed crying, “Why me?” “What is wrong with me?” “I wish I had a different family, I hate my life!”

My mom and father, Walley, were only fifteen when I was born. I was living with my grandmother before I was even a year old but was often passed back between her and my later divorced parents.

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5 Common Types of High School Essays (With Examples)

  • Last modified 2023-10-18
  • Published on 2021-08-28

best high school application essays

When it comes to high school essays, descriptive and narrative essays are very similar in the sense that they encourage writers to be creative in expressing their ideas. Expository and argumentative essays focus on providing clear information and making compelling points. Analytical essays require writers to present their arguments and are intended to enhance readers’ understanding of a topic, while persuasive writers try to persuade readers to accept a point of view.

In this article, we will go into details about each one to help you better define the type and the writing method when you start writing. 

1. Descriptive high school essays

A descriptive essay asks writers to describe something vividly —object, person, place, experience, emotion, situation, etc., but more commonly you will be asked to describe something abstract —emotions, experiences, or something outside of your typical experience.

A descriptive essay allows writers to be creative and have the freedom to express, especially when the topic is personal about them and what they care about, for example, their favorite food or their culture. Even though this sounds easy, this type of essay tests the writer’s ability to make appropriate word choices and have a strong creativity to help readers visualize the overall picture of what they are writing about. A descriptive essay normally starts with introducing the subject or object of description, continuing with giving an overall picture, and then going into details.

Below is an example of a descriptive essay from Yourdictionary :

I watched a thunderstorm, far out over the sea. It began quietly, and with nothing visible except tall dark clouds and a rolling tide. There was just a soft murmur of thunder as I watched the horizon from my balcony. Over the next few minutes, the clouds closed and reflected lightning set the rippling ocean aglow. The thunderheads had covered up the sun, shadowing the vista. It was peaceful for a long time.

I was looking up when the first clear thunderbolt struck. It blazed against the sky and sea; I could see its shape in perfect reverse colors when I blinked. More followed. The thunder rumbled and stuttered as if it could hardly keep up. There were openings in the cloud now, as if the sky were torn, and spots of brilliant blue shone above the shadowed sea.

I looked down then, watching the waves. Every bolt was answered by a moment of spreading light on the surface. The waves were getting rough, rising high and crashing hard enough that I could hear them.

Then came the rain. It came all at once and in sheets, soaking the sand, filling the sea. It was so dense I could only see the lightning as flashes of light. It came down so hard the thunder was drowned. Everything was rhythmic light and shadow, noise and silence, blending into a single experience of all five senses.

In an instant it stopped. The storm broke. The clouds came apart like curtains. The rain still fell, but softly now. It was as if there had never been a storm at all, except for a single signature. A rainbow, almost violently bright, spread above and across the water. I could see the horizon again.

2. Narrative Essay

A narrative high school essay is similar to a descriptive essay but focuses more on the story description rather than object description. The story can be about a personal experience that the writer has had, an event, a story, an incident. Writers can even narrate a fictional experience that they haven’t had. Narrative essays are typically written in the first person. For example, the personal statement high school students have to write for college applications.

The purpose of a narrative essay is not only to tell a story, but also to highlight the importance of the experience. Therefore, to write a perfect narrative essay, writers must include the elements of settings, context, plot, ending, and climax.

We have an example from a student’s work, which was published on the blog: People’s Republic of Creativity

Glup, glup.

I sat watching the plunger slowly make its way down the tube and into Miriam’s body. Inside the tube was a clear unknown liquid that would soon be injected into my own body. This was the third time this week, the twelfth time this month, and who knows how many times since we have been trapped in this hell on earth. Each day, we have only been given the bare minimum of food, water, and sleep. I don’t know how much longer we can survive before deemed useless by him.

Miriam fell out of her chair and onto the cold concrete floor, screaming in pain. She scrambles for something she can grasp onto to prop her malnourished body up. Then the piercing sound just suddenly stopped. Her thin arms that look only of bones and skin drop to the ground and she lay still on the floor, as if she were…dead. Please don’t tell me she’s dead! No, she couldn’t be; we promised each other to live until the day of liberation.

She needs to live.

It was my turn. He walked over with a syringe full of what had just been injected into Miriam. I try to focus on the red, black, and white badge on his left arm instead of letting the fear crawl in and take over my brain. But the unsettling tension stirs my thoughts around and around.

“Twin A1387, let’s hope what happened to your sister doesn’t happen to you.” He smirked. The needle pierced through my skin and my body was suddenly aflame. The raging blaze spread through every one of my veins, until I was shrouded in darkness.

When I opened my eyes again, I found myself in an empty confinement. The space next to me, the space for Miriam, was empty too. Where was everyone? Most importantly, where was Miriam?

I got up and set my bare foot onto the dirty, wooden floor. Suddenly, my head started spinning and along with it, the world spun too. I fell to the ground, and when I could finally lift my head, what I saw above me terrified me. It was him, death in human form, and beside him were four of his helpers. They grabbed my arms and forced me to stand up.

“Good morning A1387. I am afraid your dear twin sister couldn’t handle the injections from yesterday. Let’s hope your fragile little limbs can endure those chemicals. I wonder how many more injections it will take for you to meet your pathetic sister,” he said, patting my head. His tone was playful, but deadly.

I froze. What? Miriam…dead? That one word, “twins”, has taken away everything of what feels like my past life, and now my last hope? I felt a surge of anger, hatred, sadness, fear, devastation swirling inside me like boiling lava in a volcano, ready to erupt. I wanted to scream, to shout, to kill him, but I couldn’t. My soft limbs felt as if they would collapse merely by trying to stand up. They would be harmless and defenceless against the Angel of Death. When he saw the hatred on my face, he started laughing hysterically and simply said, “What a shame; she was only 13. I cannot wait to see how long it will take for you to fall apart!”

3. Expository Essay

According to Purdue University , the expository essay is a genre of essay that requires the student to investigate an idea, evaluate evidence, expound on the idea, and set forth an argument concerning that idea in a clear and concise manner. To accomplish this, writers use the method of comparison and contrast, definition, example, cause, and effect, etc.

Writers are not required to argue or make a personal opinion, but to present balanced and well-organized facts and figures.

In an expository essay–as the name suggests–you need to expose the particular subject in question by providing enough information. It is an informative piece of writing that provides a balanced analysis of the topic. It does not contain any personal opinion; instead, it is based on real facts and figures. Therefore, this kind of high school essay is commonly assigned in high school or college in order to test students’ familiarity with a topic and ability to convey information.

This is an example from College Board’s SAT Writing Prompt.  

In response to our world’s growing reliance on artificial light, writer Paul Bogard argues that natural darkness should be preserved in his article “Let There be dark”. He effectively builds his argument by using a personal anecdote, allusions to art and history, and rhetorical questions.

Bogard starts his article off by recounting a personal story – a summer spent on a Minnesota lake where there was “woods so dark that [his] hands disappeared before [his] eyes.” In telling this brief anecdote, Bogard challenges the audience to remember a time where they could fully amass themselves in natural darkness void of artificial light. By drawing in his readers with a personal encounter about night darkness, the author means to establish the potential for beauty, glamour, and awe-inspiring mystery that genuine darkness can possess. He builds his argument for the preservation of natural darkness by reminiscing for his readers a first-hand encounter that proves the “irreplaceable value of darkness.” This anecdote provides a baseline of sorts for readers to find credence with the author’s claims.

Bogard’s argument is also furthered by his use of allusion to art – Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” – and modern history – Paris’ reputation as “The City of Light”. By first referencing “Starry Night”, a painting generally considered to be undoubtedly beautiful, Bogard establishes that the natural magnificence of stars in a dark sky is definite. A world absent of excess artificial light could potentially hold the key to a grand, glorious night sky like Van Gogh’s according to the writer. This urges the readers to weigh the disadvantages of our world consumed by unnatural, vapid lighting. Furthermore, Bogard’s alludes to Paris as “the famed ‘city of light’”. He then goes on to state how Paris has taken steps to exercise more sustainable lighting practices. By doing this, Bogard creates a dichotomy between Paris’ traditionally alluded-to name and the reality of what Paris is becoming – no longer “the city of light”, but moreso “the city of light…before 2 AM”. This furthers his line of argumentation because it shows how steps can be and are being taken to preserve natural darkness. It shows that even a city that is literally famous for being constantly lit can practically address light pollution in a manner that preserves the beauty of both the city itself and the universe as a whole.

Finally, Bogard makes subtle yet efficient use of rhetorical questioning to persuade his audience that natural darkness preservation is essential. He asks the readers to consider “what the vision of the night sky might inspire in each of us, in our children or grandchildren?” in a way that brutally plays to each of our emotions. By asking this question, Bogard draws out heartfelt ponderance from his readers about the affecting power of an untainted night sky. This rhetorical question tugs at the readers’ heartstrings; while the reader may have seen an unobscured night skyline before, the possibility that their child or grandchild will never get the chance sways them to see as Bogard sees. This strategy is definitively an appeal to pathos, forcing the audience to directly face an emotionally-charged inquiry that will surely spur some kind of response. By doing this, Bogard develops his argument, adding gutthral power to the idea that the issue of maintaining natural darkness is relevant and multifaceted.

Writing as a reaction to his disappointment that artificial light has largely permeated the presence of natural darkness, Paul Bogard argues that we must preserve true, unaffected darkness. He builds this claim by making use of a personal anecdote, allusions, and rhetorical questioning.

4. Argumentative Essay

The argumentative high school essay is similar to the expository essay, because it requires writers to present their evidence-based arguments. Writers have to present a thesis statement, gather and evaluate evidence, and establish a position on the topic. Many people think argumentative and expository essays are the same. They belong to a similar genre, but an argumentative essay requires more research than an expository essay. An expository essay is normally used in the SAT test, because test takers are required to investigate and present points from the prompts given. An argumentative essay is generally used in a final project or a capstone, which requires length and detailed research. The essay is divided into 3 parts: introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction has a topic and thesis statement, the body has evidence and arguments, and the conclusion summarizes the arguments and potential directions for future research.

Below is an example from a GRE writing answer from ETS : 

Prompt : The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things

Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement above and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how those considerations shape your position.

Passion is clearly necessary for a truly great idea to take hold among a people—passion either

on the part of the original thinker, the audience, or ideally both. The claim that the most lucrative

subject matter for inspiring great ideas is “commonplace things” may seem initially to be counterintuitive. After all, aren’t great ideas usually marked by their extraordinary character? While this is true, their extraordinary character is as often as not directly derived from their insight into things that had theretofore gone unquestioned. While great ideas certainly can arise through seemingly pure innovation… say, for example, Big Bang cosmology, which developed nearly all of its own scientific and philosophical precepts through its own process of formation, it is nevertheless equally true that such groundbreaking thought was, and is, still largely

a reevaluation of previous assumptions to a radical degree… after all, the question of the ultimate nature of the universe, and man’s place in it, has been central to human thought since the dawn of time. Commonplace things are, additionally, necessary as material for the generation of “the best ideas” since certainly the success among an audience must be considered in evaluating the significance and quality of an idea.

The advent of Big Bang cosmology, which occurred in rudimentary form almost immediately upon Edwin Hubble’s first observations at the Hooker telescope in California during the early 20th century, was the most significant advance in mankind’s understanding of the universe in over 400 years. The seemingly simple fact that everything in the universe, on a very large scale, is moving away from everything else in fact betrays nearly all of our scientific knowledge of the origins and mechanics of the universe. This slight, one might even say commonplace, distortion of tint on a handful of photographic plates carried with it the greatest challenge to Man’s general, often religiously reinforced, conception of the nature of the world to an extent not seen since the days of Galileo. Not even Charles Darwin’s theory, though it created more of a stir than Big Bang cosmology, had such shattering implications for our conceptions of the nature of our reality. Yet it is not significant because it introduced the question of the nature of what lies beyond Man’s grasp. A tremendous number of megalithic ruins, including the Pyramids both of Mexico and Egypt, Stonehenge, and others, indicate that this question has been foremost on humankind’s collective mind since time immemorial. Big Bang cosmology is so incredibly significant in this line of reasoning exactly because of the degree to which it changed the direction of this generally held, constantly pondered, and very ancient train of thought.

Additionally, there is a diachronic significance to the advent of Big Bang cosmology, which is that, disregarding limitations such as the quality of optical devices available and the state of theoretical math, it could have happened at any point in time. That is to say, all evidence points to roughly the same raw intellectual capacity for homo sapiens throughout our history, our progress has merely depended upon the degree of it that a person happens to inherit, a pace that has been increasing rapidly since the industrial revolution. Yet this discovery had to happen at a certain point in time or another—it cannot have been happening constantly or have never happened yet still be present—and this point in time does have its own significance. That significance is precisely the fact that the aforementioned advent must have occurred at precisely the point in time at which it truly could have occurred—that is to say, it marks the point in our history when we had progressed sufficiently to begin examining, with remarkable substantiated acuity, the workings of the universe across distances that would take millions of human lifetimes to reach or to traverse. The point for the success of this advent must necessarily have been, additionally, the point at which the audience concerned was capable and prepared to accept such a radical line of reasoning.

Both factors, a radical, passionate interpretation of the commonplace and the preparedness to accept such an interpretation, are necessary for the formulation of a truly great idea. If the passion is absent from an inquiry by the thinker or by the bulk of an audience, the idea will die out if it comes to fruition at all. If the material is not sufficiently commonplace to be considered by an informed audience of sufficient size, the same two hazards exist. Given these two factors, the idea must still be found palatable and interesting by the audience if it is to hope to gain a foothold and eventually establish itself in a significant fashion.

5. Analytical Essay

An analytical essay is a writing genre that provides an in-depth analysis of a topic, ranging from art, music, literary text to politics, science and philosophy, etc. Analytical essays can boost a writer’s writing skills and overall comprehension of a topic, while helping readers become more educated about the subjects of importance. This type of essay is not to persuade readers to a certain point of view, but to provide a well-rounded and comprehensive analysis for the readers. The analytical essay is normally used in the GRE writing section.

A good analytical essay includes a thesis statement that states your main argument, followed by an analysis of your thesis and evidence to support it.

We will take an example from a student’s work about CRISPR, a genetic engineering method. The full essay can be accessed here , but below is the preview of the essay:

No matter how much money people are willing to pay for health care, they may still suffer terribly from incurable diseases such as AIDS and cancer because of the underdevelopment of medical technology. However, today, the advancement in human knowledge has led to the introduction of human gene-editing, turning impossibility to possibility. In particular, the recent technology for genome editing called CRISPR has been having a groundbreaking impact on research in genetic science. This is due to its remarkable potential to simply cure genetic diseases in an embryo before they have a serious effect on further developmental progression. Although currently, there have been numerous debates regarding its extension in research for widespread uses, CRISPR is a completely promising technology because of the benefits it brings to people.

CRISPR, or Clustered regularly interspaced short palindromic repeats, is the newest innovation in genetic engineering. The way CRISPR works is similar to “the scissor-like action of Cas 9 to target… any specific DNA sequence” (Baylis and Rossant). By making cuts in specific locations in DNA, CRISPR can cure diseases and make alterations in an embryo’s DNA, which prevent diseases from being passed down to following generations (Baylis and Rossant). Throughout the history, governments and researchers came up with different approaches politically and scientifically in attempt to control population. They hoped to encourage the “richest, wisest and healthiest to breed like rabbits” and the “sick, stupid, and poor to take one for the empire and remain childless” (Comfort 28). The second attempt happened during the 20th century, when the U.S government passed the law preventing marriage and immigration that would threaten a perceived core American “stock.” Another more extreme example was when Nazi sterilization law further advanced this population control approach. Later in the century, a biotechnological approach was established as a safer and more humane way to manage population health (qtd in Comfort 28). “Gene surgery,” which is similar to CRISPR technology, was established and followed by contentious debates regarding ethical issues between disease treatment and human trait enhancements. Currently, there has been a halt in the use of CRISPR because of the increase in concern from the public about the pros and cons of this technology.

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best high school application essays

Harvard HBS Essay Examples

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HBS Essay Samples

For HBS, an applicant’s personal narrative is often the most influential factor in the admissions decision process. Highlighting personal qualities and triumphs is essential. HBS admit success is driven by how “interesting” the candidate appeared to admissions officers. Applicants convey this through both their overarching story and positioning as well as execution through detailed anecdotes and nuances.

My mom likes to tell the story of when I was four years old and we went to visit my aunt in Texas. My aunt had a pool, but I didn’t know how to swim. For some reason, I decided I was going to learn to swim—that day. I got into the pool with my parents and held onto the brick edge. I tried to doggy paddle back and forth across the shallow end, and, slowly but surely, I moved further away from the wall. We stayed in the water for hours. But by the time I got out, I could swim. If I tell myself I am going to learn to swim, then that is exactly what I am going to do.

When I was in my freshman year of high school, I signed up for the girl’s [sport] team. However, as the tryouts neared, I got cold feet; I had only played [sport] for one year prior to ninth grade. The high school coach was my gym teacher at the time, and she knew I was supposed to go out for the team. I could not imagine telling her that I had gone back on my word, so I dragged myself to the first practice.

That turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made. My coach gave us individualized index cards before every game with that day’s goals—evidence of how deeply she cared for her players. I was a starting defender by my sophomore year, and she would make me yell out directions to organize my teammates. This included telling the seniors who to cover, which was very intimidating. Her confidence in me translated into confidence in myself, and I went on to play for her in the state championship game my junior year. I was also voted captain of my college [sport] team. I know my life would have been very different if I did not try out for [sport] like I said I was going to.

More recently, following through on my commitments has made me a reliable partner at work, and has helped me earn the trust of senior mentors and managers. For example, a few months into my time on the Multi-Asset team, we were asked by the head of the European Sales desk to host a meeting with C-level management from a European company. My boss thought it was a waste of time, but I had already committed one of us to attend. Further, I recognized that showing up at the meeting was important to [employer]’s relationship with the company. I held my ground and argued that I should go to the meeting given it was only a small investment of time in the grand scheme of the things, and we would build goodwill with the European Sales desk. He agreed to let me go, and after I returned, he said he was impressed by my conviction and commitment, and he was glad we had decided to attend.

This commitment to my word and conviction in my beliefs developed over many Sunday night dinners at my parents’ house. These dinners usually included some combination of my immediate family, my grandparents, my dad’s brother and sister, and their families. I am the oldest grandchild on my dad’s side, so I got to sit at the adults’ table. We never made it past the main course before my grandmother would bring up something controversial she had read in the newspaper or saw on TV that week. We would inevitably launch into a heated debate—everyone in my family has different political views. Many a dinner guest has left a little harder of hearing since everyone constantly talks over each other. I loved those dinners because I had the opportunity to hear other people’s opinions, support my own inclinations, and ultimately develop my views on challenging topics.

In high school, I was a “lawyer” on my school’s mock trial team. We would be presented with a case each fall and spend months preparing our arguments (both as the prosecution and the defense). I gave the closing argument when we competed against other schools, and I believe those Sunday dinners prepared me well for articulating my thoughts and confidently defending them in front of others.

I was always fascinated with James Bond films. But it was not the cars, the action, or the exotic travel locations that attracted me; rather, it was the gadgets. Before each mission that Bond was sent on, he would meet with Q Branch, a fictional unit in the British Secret Service that provided advanced technology to give their agents a competitive advantage in the field. The contraptions that they came up with were often unassuming tools with a hidden secondary usage – a wristwatch with a metal-cutting laser, a cigarette case with an X-ray emitter used for safecracking, even a bit of pocket lint with a radioactive tracker. Without these futuristic gadgets, Bond was just a man with a gun, but with them, he was a superhero that saved the world.

The idea that technology can enable otherwise normal people to engage in harrowing acts of bravery to aid their country is powerful. As I went through my teenage years, taking apart and building all sorts of electronics, I would fantasize that I was in Q’s lab, putting the finishing touches on a calculator, lighter, or some knickknack to defeat a megalomaniacal villain. I knew that one day I would engineer solutions to contribute to a cause greater than my own. I would get that opportunity much sooner than expected. Early into my senior year of high school, I received a recruiting envelope from one of our nation’s most important intelligence agencies, X. They were offering to pay for my full college tuition in exchange for me dedicating the next seven years of my life to X. While I could not have imagined the course that this would set me on in my career, the prospect that I, at only age 18, had an opportunity to serve in our country’s equivalent to Q Branch was too exciting to pass up.

From the day I raised my right hand and took an oath to the Constitution, I knew I would not be content just treating this opportunity as a generic summer internship program between school years. My mission at X was my top priority and I, without the usual collegiate pressures of needing to find a job, geared my education entirely toward learning skills that I could translate to my new career. I focused on X and X, spending many hours a week in college on a X leading an effort to design ways for a Xt to securely be commanded from the ground. I even became a licensed amateur radio operator in order to learn the fundamental concepts of X critical to X communications. My dedication paid dividends immediately, facilitating opportunities to design creative solutions and travel throughout the country and the world helping national policymakers meet their most critical intelligence priorities.

When I matriculated into full-time employment at X, I was prepared for a lifelong career in X Intelligence – designing software and hardware to X against our nation’s adversaries. I excelled, earning multiple awards and an advanced promotion a year ahead of schedule. However, as I developed a greater understanding of the global X war, I began to see how vulnerable much of this country’s industry is. The wars of the future will not solely be fought on the battlefield, and the layers of government bureaucracy are not designed for a quickly moving X war where our power grid can be shut off at any moment and our companies’ X can be stolen in the blink of an eye. I concluded that in order to make a lasting impact, I would need to design the shield, not the sword.

As my term of obligation to X neared completion, I knew that I would need to step outside of government into a fast-paced entrepreneurial environment. I decided to join a small startup that was designing X solutions with the potential to protect some of the most important, but vulnerable, systems powering the US economy. At X, I have led efforts to not only advance the state-of-the-art in X technology, but also to bring these technologies to market so that our country’s aircraft carriers, biological research facilities, automobiles, and pharmaceutical labs can defend themselves against the most sophisticated X adversaries.

However, throughout my endeavor in the private sector, I have been exposed to more than a few inefficiencies in how information security technology is evaluated, transitioned, and used. As the media talks about a future “cyber 9/11” and the financial risk of computer intrusions is becoming increasingly salient, the cybersecurity issues of the future will not be solved by just using longer passwords or installing another antivirus program. I plan to use my time at Harvard Business School to learn the organizational and strategic skills that underpin successful decision-making in order to drive change in the way the private and public sectors allocate resources and make decisions about cybersecurity.

With an MBA and a foundation in the HBS Case Method accompanying my unique technical background in the cybersecurity industry, I’m confident that I can cut through red tape and find new ways to quantitatively evaluate future information technologies, quickly transition advanced research to the private sector, and advise companies and government on effectively mitigating their operational risks.

Sharing a makeshift cake with strangers at the Charlotte airport as the clock strikes midnight on my birthday. Meeting with a Partner on the mountains of Park City, so breathless by the elevation I can barely get a word in. Dashing from an anniversary dinner to catch an impromptu flight to London for a project kick-off. My resume will have detailed my professional experiences to-date, but underneath each of the bullets are dozens of memories like the above. Upon reflection of these memories, one thing I know for sure is that I am not the typical Consultant. I have chosen adaptability to define me above other characteristics that may have hindered me from pursuing this path.

My favorite personality test will tell you that I am introverted, intuitive, a thinker, and a planner. Growing up, I was markedly different from my sisters, and you could typically find me reading in the clothing racks as my mother took us shopping, or out loud in the back seat of our family car while my sisters tried to listen to their favorite N*Sync song. As I considered my future career, my instinct told me that an introverted bookworm should not pursue a client-facing, heavily social and unpredictable career filled with endless experiences like the above.

Three years later, I am thankful that I overcame these fears and insecurities and adapted myself to the life of a Consultant, fully embracing these experiences. For others, adaptability might mean something else, but everyone will have to embrace some version of adaptability in the near future. At X, my focus has been building a market around the Future of Work – how technology, demographics, and globalization will change the nature of work. I have become a leader in this space, crafting our response to clients’ questions for dozens of discussions, pursuits, and conferences. I have succeeded at developing compelling thought leadership, but the fundamental challenge of driving this point of view in market is similar to the fears I once held as I embarked on my career.

I believe the central theme of the Future of Work is the concept of adaptability – the need for companies and individuals alike to be agile and willing to engage in lifelong learning to keep up with today’s constant rate of change. In the same way that I overcame my fears to pursue my passions, millions of workers (and their leaders) will have to overcome theirs in order to succeed in a future that is increasingly uncertain and irrevocably different – and that is a difficult pill to swallow.

Adapting to uncomfortable situations does not come naturally to many. Fortunately, my personal journey and background has accelerated this skill for me. I am the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors and the daughter of a failed small business owner who reinvented himself at 50. The epitome of strength and adaptability, my grandparents came to America after being liberated from the camps, started a family in Queens and opened a small Jewish bakery that was eventually passed on to my father. By the time I was born, the business was being overrun by supermarkets and my father’s lack of passion became its downfall. I grew up in an environment of uncertainty, but also with a role model who learned an entirely new trade after a 25-year career and found a job that excites him every day.

The time came for me to embrace the strength and adaptability of my forefathers this past November, when my mother suffered a sudden and fatal heart attack. Moving forward seemed inconceivable, but the following year turned out to be the highlight of my career to-date. The same week that my mother passed, I was offered a role directly supporting a Human Capital Partner in building a new practice grounded in the thought leadership I helped to develop in the Future of Work space. Despite my personal hardships, I could not pass up the opportunity to be involved in transforming the face of Human Capital. I took on the role, and was immediately immersed in setting the strategy for the new business that will deliver large-scale transformations following Future of Work discussions. This has meant gaining experience with cognitive technologies, considering how they will fundamentally change jobs, and developing new ways to transform the workforce for the future. It has been a fast-paced role, vastly different from traditional Consulting client work. Adaptability has revealed itself not only in the wake of life’s hardest moments, but also during exciting times like these, pushing me to take on ambiguous and advanced roles at X.

My insight into adaptability has been a personal journey that impacted not only my professional focus, but also my community work. Much of the struggle my father experienced in changing his career path came from not having a college degree. As a first generation college graduate, my passion for literacy and education access has steered me to become a leader in my community as a founding Board member of X and a volunteer high school mentor. I try to instill adaptability in the students I mentor and the non-profit leaders and school administrators I have the pleasure of working with, sharing the opportunities afforded by the same disruption my clients face such as rethinking the skills we teach our students, crowdsourcing global expertise to the classroom, and augmenting the physical classroom with digital tools. Adaptability in this context does not only mean prevailing over hardship to pursue your passions, but also fundamentally changing the way we think about delivering education in the future.

Grounded in the concept of adaptability, my personal, professional and community experiences have informed my dream of becoming an eminent strategist on transitioning Fortune 500s to the Future of Work and a Board member of innovative education NPOs transforming how we develop the future workforce. In pursuing an MBA from HBS, I will be able to bring my own unique perspectives and ability to adapt to the unparalleled case method, peer and alumni network and global community. This will accelerate and broaden my thinking on how to instill adaptability into organizations and our future workforce, ultimately deepening my ability to lead through the transition to the Future of “X”– work, education – you fill in the blank.

I distinctly recall the leather hat box where my dad saved reminders of our family’s service in the Army. I was initially fascinated by the adventure each medal, dog-tag and faded photo held. As I matured, and learned more about others who served before me, I saw my fascination was rooted in becoming a leader. Along this journey, I learned that servant leadership is about self-awareness, humility, inclusion and above all, people. HBS will provide the interactive, case-based environment to continue learning, reflecting, and developing.

In high school, a story from my grandfather’s service as a Special Forces Team Leader during Vietnam fueled my desire to become a leader. One mission during Vietnam was coined Recon by Fire – a tactic designed to find the enemy by shooting without provocation into suspected areas. On a specific Recon by Fire mission, he couldn’t justify the high potential for collateral damage. Despite dialogue with superiors on the unnecessary risk, the order stood. He decided to disobey; he took his team out, helped in a village, set up security for the night, and reported completion. I recognized the power of this even at a young age; leadership, and ultimately life, isn’t about simply following orders, it’s about understanding your values and acting in accordance no matter the situation.

I can only imagine the self-awareness and humility it took for my grandfather to make that decision. These critical qualities are only honed through experience. I didn’t fully embrace this until my first failure at Ranger School. This 62-day leadership course tests your ability to lead in a simulated combat environment. In the second, arguably most physically challenging phase, I failed what is called “peers”; essentially a peer-review of your leadership style that can vote you off the team. Although I would be given another attempt, I was crushed mentally because of the personal nature of peers. For the first time in my life I thought about quitting. Debating whether to try the phase again, I got a letter from dad with some motivational thoughts. He closed the letter with a clever acronym he had almost jokingly developed for harder times: STOP-P … Smile, Think, Observe, Plan, Pray. I realized I failed because I was trying to be someone I wasn’t; being stereotypically loud, cocky, authoritative, and aggressive isn’t the only way to lead. The next week, I restarted with a smile on my face and a mental cue to remember who I was.

The world, and war, have changed drastically since Vietnam and even since my time at Ranger School, but the timeless lessons on leadership remain. These experiences remind me to know myself, be humble and build relationships. I saw the true power of this equation when I deployed to Iraq in 2015 as the Executive Officer, or second-in-command, of an Airborne Infantry Company. We had a unique mission to re-train the recently defeated Iraqi Army. Our Company Commander, or leader of the 130-soldier organization, was not great at building consensus or communicating vision. The ambiguous, grand scope of our mission, and pressure from higher, made him apathetic; a dangerous affect while deployed. Although typically outside of the Executive Officer’s realm, I saw this issue and started taking significant responsibility for the main training operations. I quickly brought in all of our experienced Drill Sergeants, or those who had trained US Army new recruits, and was up front that I didn’t hold the key to what the best training path looked like. I empowered this ad-hoc task force to analyze the current Iraqi shortfalls and build a plan to prepare them for combat. Simultaneously, I built relationships with our Spanish Legion partners to gain buy-in and leverage their specific strengths. As I back briefed our Commander on the way ahead, he was impressed and I recall him saying, “Wow, you built and planned all this?” My response was automatic, “No sir, We built this.” As trite as it may sound, this always reminds me life’s a team sport. Now, any time I feel overwhelmed, I remember to look to those around me.

The challenging, interpersonal nature of my Iraq deployment inspired me to stay in the Army past my initial obligation. It also gave me the unique opportunity to apply my understanding of leadership and transform an organization as an Infantry Company Commander. I took command of a 130-soldier team from an authoritative leader. His style had built an organizational culture where if it wasn’t ordered, it wasn’t done; I saw a lot of inefficiency and frustration as experienced leaders’ ideas went to waste. The first thing I did was engage all the key leaders to build a vision; not a generic mission statement, but a tailored picture of who we wanted to be. With this ground work laid, I changed how I interacted with the Platoons, or subordinate organizations in the Company. Our weekly all hands meeting, or training meeting, shifted from the commander dictating tasks and identifying shortfalls, to a participative structure; I talked less, subordinates talked more. I had us start with feedback from the last week’s operations and the safe, inclusive environment stimulated discussion. Then, we developed a new structure to plan Company operations. During the meeting, I provided broad intent and assigned responsibility for the training operation 12 weeks away. Platoon leaders, or Lieutenants, then presented key milestones for shorter term operations and garnered input from our whole team. The dialogue and ideas that percolated from this small change were astounding. This set the tone for how we would work together under stress. Two months after these changes, we were praised for our performance in a 36-hour training operation to secure an enemy-held village. After the operation, my boss asked why I thought we succeeded. I pointed to my subordinate leaders that took initiative, thought creatively, and didn’t simply wait to be told what to do.

What’s meaningful about leadership is your impact outlasts your tenure in a job or in life. I never even met my grandfather – he passed away just before I was born. Yet, he inspired me to know myself and think freely even in a hierarchal environment. As I transition off active duty, I’m proud to add a fourth generation of medals, dog-tags, and photos to that leather hat box. My experiences, and mantras like STOP-P, remind me that leadership, much like life, has no perfect equation. But, if you properly weight some critical variables along the way, it is truly rewarding.

I would like to share with the admissions committee several unique personal and professional experiences that have helped shape my leadership style and qualities.

I learned the art of communication and became articulate with much confidence and poise at an early age. As the son of a first-generation immigrant in the US, I have maintained the household for my divorced father since the age of nine including speaking on his behalf during job interviews, filing annual income taxes, and negotiating apartment lease terms.

My public interactions representing my father have taught me that in order to be taken seriously at any age, I need to project gravitas. For example, when I was 12 years old, my father traded in his car to the dealer to purchase a new car. I used Kelley Blue Book and recent sales postings of similar vehicles in the local newspaper to determine a comparable trade-in value.

Leveraging my research, I haggled with the car dealer to obtain a favorable price for the trade-in automobile. While the dealer initially held steadfast at a lower estimated value, he conceded to the comparable trade-in value after I presented such convincing research.

The development of these communications skills from an early age has been very helpful in my professional career as well where I often need to command the attention of peers and senior leadership during presentations and meetings.

During a project last month, I led the identification of potential North American and Australian buyers in association with the deployment of a new B2B client product. When I advised the head of the client’s global sales team on the findings, he was initially skeptical about the recommendations as several previous consulting firms had provided advice that was generic and not actionable. After I presented to him quantified sales volumes of potential customers and a thorough approach for engaging his prospects by geographical region, he became convinced and prescribed to adopt my proposed strategy.

I grew up attending an inner-city middle school where few extracurricular activities were offered due to minimal public funding. Given this shortage of options and my single mother’s limited income, I did not participate in many after-school activities. It was not until I started playing chess that I learned valuable lessons in weighing risks and rewards, forming contingency plans, and learning from mistakes.

Now that I am in a fortunate position to give back to my community, I founded a 501(c) non-profit organization featuring the game of chess to provide public school students with extracurricular opportunities that I never had. I designed the chess nonprofit organization to improve academic performance and build self-esteem among elementary and middle school students by teaching chess lessons through an afterschool program and organizing nationally rated chess tournaments.

Additionally, the nonprofit chess organization partners with schools around Columbus, Ohio, by providing both financial and resource sponsorship to help set up their chess programs and tournaments. Through this program, I intend to inspire urban youths to utilize critical thinking and problem-solving skills acquired through playing chess as tools for a lifetime of success and achievement.

A year ago, I completed a project providing talent management advice to an asset management company seeking to establish a coast-to-coast footprint through an acquisition. As the upfront due diligence phase of the deal had been rushed with inadequate attention focused on retention planning, many of the financial advisors had left the target firm upon hearing rumors of the acquisition. After developing a strategic solution to address the issue, I presented my team’s recommended plan during a board meeting where the client agreed to implement the strategy immediately.

During the next three months, I managed a support team based in India that assisted our US team in executing the plan. Due to the support team working remotely in opposite time zones, it was initially challenging to involve them with daily developments of the project and win their trust. To quickly gain their support, I accommodated to their work schedule, debriefed them with daily client meeting takeaways, and delegated client deliverables to them.

This approach proved especially productive as it allowed project progression to continue on a 24-hour basis. Furthermore, by motivating the team to take ownership of their assignments and empowering them to make decisions, they felt enthused that their talent and discretionary efforts directly advanced the project. As a result of the strong collaboration between the Indian and US teams, the acquisition was able to successfully close in accordance with the proposed plan.

At HBS, I will continue to demonstrate strong public and interpersonal communication skills, give back to the communities that have contributed to my personal and professional growth, and contribute to collaborative team dynamics where everyone’s strengths and potentials are maximized.

best high school application essays

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16 Strong College Essay Examples from Top Schools

best high school application essays

What’s Covered:

  • Common App Essays
  • Why This College Essays
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  • Community Service Essays
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  • Where to Get Feedback on Your Essays

Most high school students don’t get a lot of experience with creative writing, so the college essay can be especially daunting. Reading examples of successful essays, however, can help you understand what admissions officers are looking for.

In this post, we’ll share 16 college essay examples of many different topics. Most of the essay prompts fall into 8 different archetypes, and you can approach each prompt under that archetype in a similar way. We’ve grouped these examples by archetype so you can better structure your approach to college essays.

If you’re looking for school-specific guides, check out our 2022-2023 essay breakdowns .

Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Note: the essays are titled in this post for navigation purposes, but they were not originally titled. We also include the original prompt where possible.

The Common App essay goes to all of the schools on your list, unless those schools use a separate application platform. Because of this, it’s the most important essay in your portfolio, and likely the longest essay you’ll need to write (you get up to 650 words). 

The goal of this essay is to share a glimpse into who you are, what matters to you, and what you hope to achieve. It’s a chance to share your story. 

Learn more about how to write the Common App essay in our complete guide.

The Multiple Meanings of Point

Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. “Ready spar!” Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped — only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger. 

There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous “Yes, sir” and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the “winners” celebrated their victory with laps as usual. 

Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, “Yes, sir” and “Yes, ma’am”, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous. 

The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrée, while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. “Chassé en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.” I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.   

There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: “You might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.” Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers. 

But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesn’t falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of “Dancing Queen” that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, it’s hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet. 

The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappés performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable. 

The first obvious strength of this essay is the introduction—it is interesting and snappy and uses enough technical language that we want to figure out what the student is discussing. When writing introductions, students tend to walk the line between intriguing and confusing. It is important that your essay ends up on the intentionally intriguing side of that line—like this student does! We are a little confused at first, but by then introducing the idea of “sparring,” the student grounds their essay.

People often advise young writers to “show, not tell.” This student takes that advice a step further and makes the reader do a bit of work to figure out what they are telling us. Nowhere in this essay does it say “After years of Taekwondo, I made the difficult decision to switch over to ballet.” Rather, the student says “It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers.” How powerful! 

After a lot of emotional language and imagery, this student finishes off their essay with very valuable (and necessary!) reflection. They show admissions officers that they are more than just a good writer—they are a mature and self-aware individual who would be beneficial to a college campus. Self-awareness comes through with statements like “surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become” and maturity can be seen through the student’s discussion of values: “honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.”

Sparking Self-Awareness

Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

First things first, this Common App essay is well-written. This student is definitely showing the admissions officers her ability to articulate her points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the “rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.” And because the prose is flowery (and beautiful!), the writer can get away with metaphors like “I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms” that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates her family members saying “Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” This is achieved through the apt use of the verb “taunted” to characterize the questioning and through the question’s thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this student’s inclusion of the questions “Was I so dainty?” and “Was I that incapable?” feel perfectly justified after she establishes that she was pondering her failure.

Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling. 

Why This College?

“Why This College?” is one of the most common essay prompts, likely because schools want to understand whether you’d be a good fit and how you’d use their resources.

This essay is one of the more straightforward ones you’ll write for college applications, but you still can and should allow your voice to shine through.

Learn more about how to write the “Why This College?” essay in our guide.

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).

Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, “caring is the human mode of being.” I have long been inspired by Sister Roach’s Five C’s of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.

COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Penn’s liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like “Interactional Processes with LGBT Individuals” and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.

CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as “Health Care Reform & Future of American Health System” and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions – conservative or liberal – will push me to question and strengthen my value system.

COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Penn’s BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Penn’s unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Penn’s nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.

COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Penn’s Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in women’s abortion rights, I’d like to join NSRH in order to advocate for women’s health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.

CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.

The Five C’s of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I can’t wait to start.

This prompt from Penn asks students to tailor their answer to their specific field of study. One great thing that this student does is identify their undergraduate school early, by mentioning “Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics.” You don’t want readers confused or searching through other parts of your application to figure out your major.

With a longer essay like this, it is important to establish structure. Some students organize their essay in a narrative form, using an anecdote from their past or predicting their future at a school. This student uses Roach’s 5 C’s of Caring as a framing device that organizes their essay around values. This works well!

While this essay occasionally loses voice, there are distinct moments where the student’s personality shines through. We see this with phrases like “felt like drinking from a fire hose in the best possible way” and “All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence.” It is important to show off your personality to make your essay stand out. 

Finally, this student does a great job of referencing specific resources about Penn. It’s clear that they have done their research (they’ve even talked to current Quakers). They have dreams and ambitions that can only exist at Penn.

Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they don’t limit one’s mind with “or” but rather embrace unison with “and.” 

Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why I’m proud to be a Bulldog. 

This answer to the “Why This College” question is great because 1) the student shows their excitement about attending Yale 2) we learn the ways in which attending Yale will help them achieve their goals and 3) we learn their interests and identities.

In this response, you can find a prime example of the “Image of the Future” approach, as the student flashes forward and envisions their life at Yale, using present tense (“I explore,” “I integrate,” “I’m proud”). This approach is valuable if you are trying to emphasize your dedication to a specific school. Readers get the feeling that this student is constantly imagining themselves on campus—it feels like Yale really matters to them.

Starting this image with the Beinecke Library is great because the Beinecke Library only exists at Yale. It is important to tailor “Why This College” responses to each specific school. This student references a program of study, a professor, and an extracurricular that only exist at Yale. Additionally, they connect these unique resources to their interests—psychological and environmental studies.

Finally, we learn about the student (independent of academics) through this response. By the end of their 125 words, we know their hobbies, ethnicities, and social desires, in addition to their academic interests. It can be hard to tackle a 125-word response, but this student shows that it’s possible.

Why This Major?

The goal of this prompt is to understand how you came to be interested in your major and what you plan to do with it. For competitive programs like engineering, this essay helps admissions officers distinguish students who have a genuine passion and are most likely to succeed in the program. This is another more straightforward essay, but you do have a bit more freedom to include relevant anecdotes.

Learn more about how to write the “Why This Major?” essay in our guide.

Why Duke Engineering

Prompt: If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke (250 words).

One Christmas morning, when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set from my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science, I didn’t realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering. Later, in a high school biology class, I learned that engineering didn’t only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve people’s quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time.

Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DUhatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Duke’s Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem-solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds. Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low-income countries. Along the way, I can learn alongside experts in the field. Duke’s openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.

This prompt calls for a complex answer. Students must explain both why they want to study engineering and why Duke is the best place for them to study engineering.

This student begins with a nice hook—a simple anecdote about a simple present with profound consequences. They do not fluff up their anecdote with flowery images or emotionally-loaded language; it is what it is, and it is compelling and sweet. As their response continues, they express a particular interest in problem-solving. They position problem-solving as a fundamental part of their interest in engineering (and a fundamental part of their fascination with their childhood toy). This helps readers to learn about the student!

Problem-solving is also the avenue by which they introduce Duke’s resources—DUhatch, The Foundry, and Duke’s Bass Connections program. It is important to notice that the student explains how these resources can help them achieve their future goals—it is not enough to simply identify the resources!

This response is interesting and focused. It clearly answers the prompt, and it feels honest and authentic.

Why Georgia Tech CompSci

Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words max)

I held my breath and hit RUN. Yes! A plump white cat jumped out and began to catch the falling pizzas. Although my Fat Cat project seems simple now, it was the beginning of an enthusiastic passion for computer science. Four years and thousands of hours of programming later, that passion has grown into an intense desire to explore how computer science can serve society. Every day, surrounded by technology that can recognize my face and recommend scarily-specific ads, I’m reminded of Uncle Ben’s advice to a young Spiderman: “with great power comes great responsibility”. Likewise, the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed with AI’s far-reaching presence in society; and I believe that digital fairness starts with equality in education.

The unique use of threads at the College of Computing perfectly matches my interests in AI and its potential use in education; the path of combined threads on Intelligence and People gives me the rare opportunity to delve deep into both areas. I’m particularly intrigued by the rich sets of both knowledge-based and data-driven intelligence courses, as I believe AI should not only show correlation of events, but also provide insight for why they occur.

In my four years as an enthusiastic online English tutor, I’ve worked hard to help students overcome both financial and technological obstacles in hopes of bringing quality education to people from diverse backgrounds. For this reason, I’m extremely excited by the many courses in the People thread that focus on education and human-centered technology. I’d love to explore how to integrate AI technology into the teaching process to make education more available, affordable, and effective for people everywhere. And with the innumerable opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know that I will be able to go further here than anywhere else.

With a “Why This Major” essay, you want to avoid using all of your words to tell a story. That being said, stories are a great way to show your personality and make your essay stand out. This student’s story takes up only their first 21 words, but it positions the student as fun and funny and provides an endearing image of cats and pizzas—who doesn’t love cats and pizzas? There are other moments when the student’s personality shines through also, like the Spiderman reference.

While this pop culture reference adds color, it also is important for what the student is getting at: their passion. They want to go into computer science to address the issues of security and equity that are on the industry’s mind, and they acknowledge these concerns with their comments about “scarily-specific ads” and their statement that “the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed.” This student is self-aware and aware of the state of the industry. This aptitude will be appealing for admissions officers.

The conversation around “threads” is essential for this student’s response because the prompt asks specifically about the major at Georgia Tech and it is the only thing they reference that is specific to Georgia Tech. Threads are great, but this student would have benefitted from expanding on other opportunities specific to Georgia Tech later in the essay, instead of simply inserting “innumerable opportunities.”

Overall, this student shows personality, passion, and aptitude—precisely what admissions officers want to see!

Extracurricular Essay

You’re asked to describe your activities on the Common App, but chances are, you have at least one extracurricular that’s impacted you in a way you can’t explain in 150 characters.

This essay archetype allows you to share how your most important activity shaped you and how you might use those lessons learned in the future. You are definitely welcome to share anecdotes and use a narrative approach, but remember to include some reflection. A common mistake students make is to only describe the activity without sharing how it impacted them.

Learn more about how to write the Extracurricular Essay in our guide.

A Dedicated Musician

My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldn’t help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonata’s third movement, a longtime dream of mine. 

Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The piece’s tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered. 

But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row. 

Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say I’ve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.

In this response, the student uses their extracurricular, piano, as a way to emphasize their positive qualities. At the beginning, readers are invited on a journey with the student where we feel their struggle, their intensity, and ultimately their satisfaction. With this descriptive image, we form a valuable connection with the student.

Then, we get to learn about what makes this student special: their dedication and work ethic. The fact that this student describes their desire to be productive during the summer shows an intensity that is appealing to admissions officers. Additionally, the growth mindset that this student emphasizes in their conclusion is appealing to admissions officers.

The Extracurricular Essay can be seen as an opportunity to characterize yourself. This student clearly identified their positive qualities, then used the Extracurricular Essay as a way to articulate them.

A Complicated Relationship with the School Newspaper

My school’s newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as we’re entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences; at this point I’ve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. I’ve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationship—with twelve other editors, there’s a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork I’ve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.

This response is great. It’s cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a “love-hate relationship,” then supplementing with comments like “We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences” allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way. 

While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how you’ve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how you’ve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.

Participating in Democracy

Prompt: Research shows that an ability to learn from experiences outside the classroom correlates with success in college. What was your greatest learning experience over the past 4 years that took place outside of the traditional classroom? (250 words) 

The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didn’t prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.

As I sat down with my congresswoman’s chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I don’t need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study government—I want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career. 

While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their field—an apt choice!

As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goals—they want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this student’s ethnicity. With lines like “my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,” the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.

The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the student’s extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.

Overcoming Challenges

You’re going to face a lot of setbacks in college, so admissions officers want to make you’re you have the resilience and resolve to overcome them. This essay is your chance to be vulnerable and connect to admissions officers on an emotional level.

Learn more about how to write the Overcoming Challenges Essay in our guide.

The Student Becomes the Master

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one. 

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.

As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the student’s values as we hear their thoughts: “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.” Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the “Same, but Different” ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!

Growing Sensitivity to Struggles

Prompt: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (650 words)

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

Community Service/Impact on the Community

Colleges want students who will positively impact the campus community and go on to make change in the world after they graduate. This essay is similar to the Extracurricular Essay, but you need to focus on a situation where you impacted others. 

Learn more about how to write the Community Service Essay in our guide.

Academic Signing Day

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me.     

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, every time I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This essay answers the prompt nicely because the student describes a contribution with a lasting legacy. Academic Signing Day will affect this high school in the future and it affected this student’s self-development—an idea summed up nicely with their last phrase “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With Community Service essays, students sometimes take small contributions and stretch them. And, oftentimes, the stretch is very obvious. Here, the student shows us that Academic Signing Day actually mattered by mentioning four months of planning and hundreds of students and parents. They also make their involvement in Academic Signing Day clear—it was their idea and they were in charge, and that’s why they gave the introductory speech.

Use this response as an example of the type of focused contribution that makes for a convincing Community Service Essay.

Climate Change Rally

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (technically not community service, but the response works)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day.  

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

Like with the last example, this student describes a focused event with a lasting legacy. That’s a perfect place to start! By the end of this essay, we have an image of the cause of this student’s passion and the effect of this student’s passion. There are no unanswered questions.

This student supplements their focused topic with engaging and exciting writing to make for an easy-to-read and enjoyable essay. One of the largest strengths of this response is its pace. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we center ourselves in real-time, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” Community Service essays run the risk of turning boring, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Having a diverse class provides a richness of different perspectives and encourages open-mindedness among the student body. The Diversity Essay is also somewhat similar to the Extracurricular and Community Service Essays, but it focuses more on what you might bring to the campus community because of your unique experiences or identities.

Learn more about how to write the Diversity Essay in our guide.

A Story of a Young Skater

​​“Everyone follow me!” I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. “Come on!” I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned. 

But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldn’t mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; it’s the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.

I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliver’s skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed. 

To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliver’s hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played “freeze-skate” and “ice-potato”, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliver’s eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude. 

It’s been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships I’ve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel! 

Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. It’s funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness. 

This response is a great example of how Diversity doesn’t have to mean race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, or ability. Diversity can mean whatever you want it to mean—whatever unique experience(s) you have to bring to the table!

A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fear—skating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. It’s like we are all in it together! The student’s empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: “I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.”

This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skaters—changing their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skaters’ emotions with them—but they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturity—a favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.

At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!

Finding Community in the Rainforest

Prompt: Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you’d like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you’ve had to help us understand you better—perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background—we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke (250 words).

I never understood the power of community until I left home to join seven strangers in the Ecuadorian rainforest. Although we flew in from distant corners of the U.S., we shared a common purpose: immersing ourselves in our passion for protecting the natural world.

Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns. My classmates debated the feasibility of Trump’s wall, not the deteriorating state of our planet. Contrastingly, these seven strangers delighted in bird-watching, brightened at the mention of medicinal tree sap, and understood why I once ran across a four-lane highway to retrieve discarded beer cans. Their histories barely resembled mine, yet our values aligned intimately. We did not hesitate to joke about bullet ants, gush about the versatility of tree bark, or discuss the destructive consequences of materialism. Together, we let our inner tree huggers run free.

In the short life of our little community, we did what we thought was impossible. By feeding on each other’s infectious tenacity, we cultivated an atmosphere that deepened our commitment to our values and empowered us to speak out on behalf of the environment. After a week of stimulating conversations and introspective revelations about engaging people from our hometowns in environmental advocacy, we developed a shared determination to devote our lives to this cause.

As we shared a goodbye hug, my new friend whispered, “The world needs saving. Someone’s gotta do it.” For the first time, I believed that someone could be me.

This response is so wholesome and relatable. We all have things that we just need to geek out over and this student expresses the joy that came when they found a community where they could geek out about the environment. Passion is fundamental to university life and should find its way into successful applications.

Like the last response, this essay finds strength in the fact that readers feel for the student. We get a little bit of backstory about where they come from and how they felt silenced—“Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns”—, so it’s easy to feel joy for them when they get set free.

This student displays clear values: community, ecoconsciousness, dedication, and compassion. An admissions officer who reads Diversity essays is looking for students with strong values and a desire to contribute to a university community—sounds like this student!  

Political/Global Issues

Colleges want to build engaged citizens, and the Political/Global Issues Essay allows them to better understand what you care about and whether your values align with theirs. In this essay, you’re most commonly asked to describe an issue, why you care about it, and what you’ve done or hope to do to address it. 

Learn more about how to write the Political/Global Issues Essay in our guide.

Note: this prompt is not a typical political/global issues essay, but the essay itself would be a strong response to a political/global issues prompt.

Fighting Violence Against Women

Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)

“One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.” 

– Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University. 

The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus. 

My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my mother’s voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert. 

At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to us— its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Women’s March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities. 

Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the “small” lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning women’s empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency. 

Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.

As this student addresses an important social issue, she makes the reasons for her passion clear—personal experiences. Because she begins with an extended anecdote, readers are able to feel connected to the student and become invested in what she has to say.

Additionally, through her powerful ending—“I, too, deserve the night sky”—which connects back to her beginning— “as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky”—this student illustrates a mastery of language. Her engagement with other writing techniques that further her argument, like the emphasis on time—“gifted to me for my sixteenth birthday,” “when I was thirteen,” “when I was fourteen,” etc.—also illustrates her mastery of language.

While this student proves herself a good writer, she also positions herself as motivated and ambitious. She turns her passions into action and fights for them. That is just what admissions officers want to see in a Political/Global issues essay!

Where to Get Feedback on Your College Essays

Once you’ve written your college essays, you’ll want to get feedback on them. Since these essays are important to your chances of acceptance, you should prepare to go through several rounds of edits. 

Not sure who to ask for feedback? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review resource. You can get comments from another student going through the process and also edit other students’ essays to improve your own writing. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools.  Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Virginia news | supreme court allows elite virginia school’s admissions plan despite discrimination claims.

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WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court on Tuesday left in place the admissions policy at an elite public high school in Virginia that some parents claimed discriminates against highly qualified Asian Americans.

The court’s order, over the dissent of Justices Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas, ended a legal challenge to a policy that was overhauled in 2020 to increase diversity, without taking race into account.

A panel of the federal appeals court in Richmond had earlier upheld the constitutionality of the admissions policy at the Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology, a school frequently cited among the best in the nation.

The high court’s consideration of the case followed its decision in June that struck down admissions policies at colleges and universities that took account of the race of applicants.

The Fairfax County School Board overhauled the Thomas Jefferson admissions process in 2020, scrapping a standardized test. The new policy gives weight in favor of applicants who are economically disadvantaged or still learning English, but it does not take race into account.

The effect in the first freshman class admitted under it was to increase the percentage of Black students from 1% to 7% and Hispanic students from 3% to 11%. Both groups have been greatly underrepresented for decades. Asian American representation decreased from 73% to 54%.

For the current school year, Black and Hispanic students made up 6.7% and 6%, respectively, of those offered admission, the school board said. Asian Americans represented 61.6% of those admitted, the board said.

’We have long believed that the new admissions process is both constitutional and in the best interest of all of our students. It guarantees that all qualified students from all neighborhoods in Fairfax County have a fair shot at attending this exceptional high school,” said Karl Frisch, Fairfax County School Board chair.

In 2022, a federal judge found the school board engaged in impermissible “racial balancing” when it overhauled admissions. The appeals court reversed that ruling.

Alito wrote that the district court got it right. The appeals court essentially ruled that “intentional racial discrimination is constitutional so long as it is not too severe,” he wrote.

The parents who challenged the policy say it discriminates against Asian American applicants who would have been granted admission if academic merit were the sole criteria, and that efforts to increase Black and Hispanic representation necessarily come at the expense of Asian Americans.

“The Supreme Court missed an important opportunity to end race-based discrimination in K-12 admissions,” said Pacific Legal Foundation senior attorney Joshua Thompson, who represents the parents who challenged.

More in Virginia News

From security improvements at Eastern State Hospital in Williamsburg to funding for the Norfolk Coastal Risk Storm Management Project, here's a few notable items with ties to Hampton Roads.

Virginia Politics | Here’s what the House and Senate budget proposals offer for Hampton Roads

Influential labor groups now say they are opposing efforts to move two professional sports franchises from the nation's capital to northern Virginia, partially due to the apparent inability to reach a satisfactory deal for union workers on the construction projects.

Virginia News | Unions oppose plan to move NBA, NHL teams to northern Virginia

The deal will bring together two of the biggest credit card firms and allow them to compete with other Wall Street behemoths.

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Business | everything you need to know about capital one’s $35 billion takeover of discover financial.

The House budget would create a political subdivision tasked with financing bonds to pay for the construction of the sports complex in Alexandria, and includes Metro funding. The Senate budget contains neither.

Virginia Politics | Virginia Senate, House budget proposals reject most of Youngkin’s tax proposal, split over stadium support

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Wharton regains status as best business school for MBAs, according to FT ranking

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Roula Khalaf, Editor of the FT, selects her favourite stories in this weekly newsletter.

Wharton has regained its position as the world’s leading provider of MBAs in 2024, according to the latest FT ranking of the top 100 global business schools .

The US business school, part of the University of Pennsylvania, topped the assessment, which takes into account measures including value for money, alumni study aims achieved, gender and international diversity, the quality of academic research and school environmental policies, as well as salary and increases in pay. Schools’ participation is voluntary.

Wharton was followed by Insead in France, in second place, then Columbia in New York, SDA Bocconi in Milan and Iese in Barcelona.

MBA alumni are finding times tougher after graduation. In line with recent job cutbacks, including in banking and technology at a time of broader uncertainty in the global economy, graduate employment within three months of MBA completion across the ranked schools dipped to an average of 89 per cent, compared with 93 per cent the previous year.

The ranking also follows a year in which demand for business degrees has stagnated. The latest survey by the Graduate Management Admission Council in 2023 shows a drop of 5 per cent in applications for MBAs and a shift away from the full-time, in-person course and towards more flexible, part-time and online alternatives .

Global MBA Ranking 2024

best high school application essays

Read the ranking and report , plus how we compiled our league table . Spotlight on the MBA webinar, February 21: businesseducation.live.ft.com .

The Wharton School , led by Dean Erika James, is ranked top in the research category, measured by recent faculty publications in leading academic and practitioner journals, followed by the University of Chicago: Booth , Harvard Business School and Columbia Business School .

Wharton’s alumni reported the third-highest average weighted salaries at $245,772, adjusted for those working in different sectors and for international purchasing power parity, three years after completing their courses. Stanford alumni had the highest weighted income, at $250,650, with Harvard graduates just behind at $246,509, while those from Columbia averaged $232,760.

Just four of the top 20 business schools ranked by highest weighted alumni salaries were from outside the US, led by Insead , south of Paris. The others were Milan’s SDA Bocconi , Shanghai University of Finance and Economics and the Indian Institute of Management Ahmedabad .

Erika James, dean of the Wharton School

Stanford, in California, was ranked top for alumni assessments of aims achieved on their MBA, followed by Dartmouth College: Tuck in New Hampshire and the University of Virginia: Darden .

The University of Georgia: Terry is top for “value for money”, calculated by dividing the average alumni salary three years after completion by the MBA’s total cost, including tuition, forgone salary, opportunity cost and other expenses.

Four US schools were rated highest by former students for the quality of their alumni networks: Stanford first, followed by Dartmouth, Cornell in New York state and the University of Notre Dame: Mendoza in Indiana.

Georgia Institute of Technology: Scheller was judged top by former students for its career services, followed by UCLA Anderson School of Management , Shanghai’s Fudan University School of Management and then Peking University: Guanghua .

The highest salary increases — from when alumni began their MBA to three years after completing it — were reported at the Indian School of Business and two Chinese business schools: Fudan, followed by Shanghai University of Finance and Economics: College of Business.

MBA classes remain predominantly male, with an average of 41 per cent female students

The Indian Institute of Management in Ahmedabad is top for career progress — measured as an increase in responsibility in alumni’s role in employment and size of organisation — followed by Stanford and then Fudan.

SDA Bocconi School of Management is placed top for a public audit of carbon emissions in its operations and net zero emissions targets, followed by the University of Virginia: Darden, IE Business School in Madrid, Duke University: Fuqua in North Carolina, Esade Business School in Barcelona, and Rotterdam School of Management , Erasmus University.

MBA classes remain predominantly male, with an average of 41 per cent women across the 100 schools. Only Wharton, France’s ESCP and Audencia reported top-scoring parity between male and female MBA students, while 10 schools had more women than men.

The greatest diversity of employment by sector among students before starting their MBAs was at ESCP Business School in France, followed by Esade, Warwick Business School in the UK and then Brigham Young University: Marriott in Utah.

The Indian Institute of Management Calcutta is ranked top for the extent to which the most recent completing class carried out exchanges and internships of at least a month abroad, followed by HEC Paris, ESCP and then the Lisbon MBA Católica | Nova .

For insights into the ranking and business study, sign up for Spotlight on the MBA, a free online event on Wednesday February 21. The webinar is presented in partnership with leading business schools and will feature academics, admissions experts and FT journalists. businesseducation.live.ft.com

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International Edition

Home — Essay Samples — Geography & Travel — Travel and Tourism Industry — The History of Moscow City

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The History of Moscow City

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Published: Feb 12, 2019

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best high school application essays

Supreme Court upholds admissions policy at elite Virginia high school

Supreme court leaves in place admissions plan at thomas jefferson high school.

A group of Fairfax County parents are angry after the Supreme Court rejected a challenge to the new admissions policy at Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology. They say the policy discriminates based on race. FOX 5's Katie Barlow has the story.

ALEXANDRIA, Va. - The Supreme Court on Tuesday left in place the admissions policy at an elite public high school in Virginia that some parents claimed discriminates against highly qualified Asian Americans.

The court’s order, over the dissent of Justices Samuel Alito and Clarence Thomas, ended a legal challenge to a policy that was overhauled in 2020 to increase diversity, without taking race into account.

A panel of the federal appeals court in Richmond had earlier upheld the constitutionality of the admissions policy at the Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology, a school frequently cited among the best in the nation.

The high court’s consideration of the case followed its decision in June that struck down admissions policies at colleges and universities that took account of the race of applicants.

The Fairfax County School Board overhauled the Thomas Jefferson admissions process in 2020 , scrapping a standardized test. The new policy gives weight in favor of applicants who are economically disadvantaged or still learning English, but it does not take race into account.

Virginia’s Thomas Jefferson High School drops to 5th in US News best high school rankings

Virginia’s Thomas Jefferson High School drops to 5th in US News best high school rankings

The latest U.S. News & World Report rankings of high schools in the United States is out, and after three years at number one, Virginia's Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology in Alexandria now ranks fifth.

The effect in the first freshman class admitted under it was to increase the percentage of Black students from 1% to 7% and Hispanic students from 3% to 11%. Both groups have been greatly underrepresented for decades. Asian American representation decreased from 73% to 54%.

For the current school year, Black and Hispanic students made up 6.7% and 6%, respectively, of those offered admission, the school board said. Asian Americans represented 61.6% of those admitted, the board said.

’We have long believed that the new admissions process is both constitutional and in the best interest of all of our students. It guarantees that all qualified students from all neighborhoods in Fairfax County have a fair shot at attending this exceptional high school," said Karl Frisch, Fairfax County School Board chair.

In 2022, a federal judge found the school board engaged in impermissible "racial balancing" when it overhauled admissions. The appeals court reversed that ruling.

Suit against Thomas Jefferson High School admissions policies faces setback in court

A group of parents who lost in a Virginia-based Federal Appeals Court fight over Thomas Jefferson High School's admissions policy are speaking out and saying they're ready to keep up the fight. FOX 5's Katie Barlow spoke to one of the parents involved in the lawsuit.

Alito wrote that the district court got it right. The appeals court essentially ruled that "intentional racial discrimination is constitutional so long as it is not too severe," he wrote.

The parents who challenged the policy say it discriminates against Asian American applicants who would have been granted admission if academic merit were the sole criteria, and that efforts to increase Black and Hispanic representation necessarily come at the expense of Asian Americans.

"The Supreme Court missed an important opportunity to end race-based discrimination in K-12 admissions," said Pacific Legal Foundation senior attorney Joshua Thompson, who represents the parents who challenged.

Virginia AG confirms investigation into Thomas Jefferson High due to merit recognition controversy

Virginia AG confirms investigation into Thomas Jefferson High due to merit recognition controversy

Virginia AG Jason Miyares has confirmed he will be moving forward with investigating Thomas Jefferson High School after students were allegedly not notified of their national merit recognitions until after important deadlines for college scholarships had passed.

The Associated Press contributed to this report. 

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