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Essay Examples on Finding Yourself

Finding yourself essay topics for college students.

Welcome to our resource page for college students looking for essay topics that will help them explore their personal interests and develop their critical thinking skills. Choosing the right essay topic is crucial for a successful writing experience, and we're here to help you find the perfect topic that resonates with you.

Essay Types and Topics

Argumentative essay.

• The impact of social media on mental health
• The ethics of genetic engineering
• The importance of renewable energy

Paragraph Example

In today's digital age, social media has become an integral part of our lives, but its impact on mental health is a topic of great debate. This essay aims to explore the various ways in which social media affects our well-being and mental health.

By examining the evidence presented in this essay, it becomes clear that the impact of social media on mental health is a complex issue that requires further investigation and consideration. It is essential for individuals to be mindful of their social media usage and its potential effects on their mental well-being.

Compare and Contrast Essay

• The similarities and differences between traditional education and online learning
• The portrayal of love in Shakespeare's sonnets and modern poetry
• The influence of Eastern and Western philosophies on personal growth

Descriptive Essay

• A place that holds special meaning to you
• An object that represents an important aspect of your identity
• The sights, sounds, and smells of a memorable experience

Persuasive Essay

• The importance of voting in a democracy
• The benefits of volunteering in the community
• The impact of climate change on future generations

Narrative Essay

• A significant turning point in your academic journey
• An experience that challenged your beliefs and values
• A moment of personal growth and self-discovery

Engagement and Creativity

Essay writing is a wonderful opportunity for you to delve into your interests, express your thoughts, and develop your critical thinking skills. Embrace the creative process and let your unique perspective shine through in your writing. Your engagement with the topic will make your essay more compelling and enjoyable to read.

Educational Value

Each essay type offers unique learning outcomes that can help you develop different skills. Argumentative essays will enhance your analytical thinking and persuasive writing abilities. Descriptive essays will improve your descriptive abilities, while narrative essays will develop your storytelling techniques. Compare and contrast essays will hone your ability to critically analyze and evaluate different perspectives. Lastly, persuasive essays will strengthen your ability to influence and persuade others through your writing.

Understanding The Self: Who Am I as Person

How finding yourself comes through the evolution of thought, made-to-order essay as fast as you need it.

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The Importance of Self-love

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A Journey to Open Self: Rising Awareness and Growing Personality

Character defining moments: a journey of self-discovery, striving to be your best self: the path to personal growth, understanding yourself: a self-discovery journey, relevant topics.

• Personal Strengths
• About Myself
• Self Reflection
• Personal Goals
• Personal Beliefs
• Personality
• Being Yourself

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Authenticity

What "finding yourself" really means, seeking your true self is a journey of self-discovery and self-awareness..

Posted September 1, 2023 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

• When someone knows who they are and what they want, they can make choices that are more authentic.
• It is often helpful to identify harmful thinking and behavioral habits and replace them with healthier ones.
• Building meaningful relationships and embracing change can help life feel more fulfilling.

Finding yourself is important because it is the key to living a fulfilling and authentic life. When you truly know yourself, you can make decisions that align with your values, passions, and purpose. It's about understanding who you truly are, embracing your unique story, and living authentically.

But what does "finding yourself" really mean?

Embracing your story

Your story is what makes you unique and powerful. Take the time to reflect on your life experiences, both positive and negative. What have you learned from them? How have they shaped you?

Embracing your story means accepting every part of it, even the challenging moments. By doing so, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and what the universe has in store for you.

Living authentically

When you find yourself, you can live authentically, being true to who you are at your core. This means embracing your strengths, accepting your weaknesses, and showing up in the world as your genuine self. Living authentically allows you to attract people and experiences that align with your true essence.

Noticing problematic thought patterns

We all have thought patterns that hold us back. Take a moment to identify five problematic thought patterns that frequently recur in your life. Explore how these patterns translate into beliefs and behaviors. Be specific and give examples. Understanding the impact of these patterns on your thinking and life is crucial for creating change.

Discovering your purpose

Finding yourself helps you uncover your purpose in life. By understanding your values, passions, and unique gifts, you can identify the path that brings you the most fulfillment and meaning. Your purpose gives you a sense of direction and guides your decisions, leading to a more purposeful and satisfying life.

Replacing old patterns with new ones

Once you've identified your problematic thought patterns, it's time to replace them with new, empowering ones. Think about what new behaviors or thoughts can replace the old ones. This step requires conscious effort and practice. By consistently implementing these new thoughts and behaviors, you'll start to see a shift in your life.

Building self-confidence

When you know who you are, you develop a strong sense of self-confidence . You become more self-assured in your abilities, decisions, and choices. This confidence radiates in your interactions with others and empowers you to take risks, pursue your dreams , and overcome challenges.

Making it about others

One powerful way to find yourself is by shifting your focus from yourself to others. When we constantly worry about how we are perceived, our light can feel dimmed. Instead, focus on how you want to be remembered and the impact you want to have on others. By making it about others, you'll feel a sense of purpose and invincibility.

Creating meaningful relationships

Finding yourself allows you to attract and cultivate meaningful relationships. When you are authentic and true to yourself, you naturally attract people who appreciate and accept you for who you are. These relationships are based on genuine connections and mutual understanding, leading to deeper and more fulfilling connections.

Embracing change and growth

Finding yourself is an ongoing process. Embrace change and growth as you navigate through life. Be open to new experiences, challenge yourself, and step out of your comfort zone. Remember, it's in the moments of not knowing and feeling lost that our true potential emerges.

Making aligned choices

Knowing yourself helps you make choices that align with your values and aspirations. You become more aware of what truly matters to you and can make decisions that support your personal growth and well-being. This leads to a greater sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in life.

Finding yourself is a deeply personal and unique journey. It may take time, but by embracing your story, replacing old patterns, and focusing on others, you'll start to uncover your true self. Seek support from loved ones, mentors, or even professional guidance if needed. Embrace the adventure of self-discovery and live your truth.

Remember, finding yourself is a continuous journey of self-discovery. It's about exploring, learning, and evolving as you navigate through life. Embrace the process, be patient with yourself, enjoy the adventure of uncovering your true self, and know that you're not alone. We're all trying to find ourselves.

John Kim, LMFT , pioneered an online coaching movement called Lumia Coaching years ago when he started working in unconventional ways. He continues to ride his motorcycle to sessions all over LA, meeting clients in coffee shops, gyms, on hikes. He's a published best selling author and speaker.

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How to write the college essay: on discovering myself.

To the stressed-out senior:

October. It’s the spookiest time of the year for you… that’s right, college applications. Two years ago I was in your shoes, staring at the 650-word Common App Essay and a mountain of supplements. It’s intimidating to face the sheer amount of work you have to do to secure your future success at the tender age of 18. So many things are up in the air–it can be a time that is fraught with anxiety, insecurity, and uncertainty.

The essays, you are told over and over again by teachers, counselors, admissions officers and the ever reliable College Confidential, are where you get to show your personality. They are meant to encapsulate something that can’t come across in a polished resume or list of honors. Picture yourself meeting with your admissions officer over a cup of tea, and pouring out parts of your life story in a way that is enlightening and composed—college essays are the written equivalent. They are indeed a strategy for the admissions officer to get to know you, but that’s not the full story. What I’ve found is that writing college essays was just as insightful for me as for the admissions officer.

College essays are a clever ploy for universities to get students to rethink who they were, are, and want to be. Answering college questions gave me the arsenal and vocabulary I would need to gracefully and eloquently articulate my answers to questions I’d be asked the rest of my life: Where do you see yourself in five years? What is your biggest failure or regret? How did you overcome your biggest challenge? If you could have anyone living or dead as a dinner guest, who would it be? What are your favorite podcasts or publications? What do you deeply care about and why?

Through the process of answering these questions, I crystallized my love of storytelling into words. I got in touch with a part of myself I thought I had lost, exploring my connection to my heritage. I understood how different aspects of my life have shaped me to be brave and bold. I gave thanks to the people whose shoulders I’m standing on today. I rediscovered how much my parents love me, and how much I love my parents. I figured out who my heroes are and why I look up to them so much. And as grandiose as it sounds, it’s the truth: I recognized my life’s calling through writing my college essays.

College applications also forced me to look at why I wanted to go to college. In answering the Why ____? question, I realized there were some colleges I wanted to go to more than others. Answering Why Yale was one of the toughest questions for me—I couldn’t think of a way to write about Yale without drawing on cliches I was sure other people would include. But ultimately, I decided to prioritize honesty in the answer to that question: it was the people that attracted me the most, so I wrote about Yale’s emphasis on building community. Now that I’m here, I can truly attest to the kindness and thoughtfulness of the student body.

This is all to say, dear senior, vulnerability in your essays pays off. Let yourself find your truth, and sink into it. Let it envelope you and your state of mind as you open that Google Doc. You’re writing for admissions officers, yes, but the more important audience is yourself. Treat them like precious time capsules you will one day open in the future. These kernels, results of deep soul-searching, will resonate with your audience, whether it’s a Yale admissions officer or your future 40-year-old self. It’s a snapshot into the mind of a 18-year-old, grappling with identity, figuring out what they want on the cusp of the world. This may all change—nothing you say in a college essay is set in stone—but in this moment at least, it sings true: beautiful, brilliant, and bold.

I found myself through thousands of drafts, each a different version of me. If you trust the process, and be honest with yourself, you can find yourself too.

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College Essay: Discovering Myself

I’ve always cared a little too much about things. To be able to make people smile, to make them laugh has always seemed like the right thing for me to do. As someone who has always wanted to do good in the world, I’ve struggled with the choice between taking care of myself and worrying about other people. I’ve come a long way, both regressing and progressing at different points, but throughout it all I’ve learned so many different lessons. At least in my story, I can candidly say that my experience and other people’s experiences are the best teachers of self-exploration.

In the third grade, my troubles with caring got big. Before, I was happy with the way I was, despite the occasional bout of loneliness. My sister was by my side and with the friends I had made it seemed almost impossible for the social self-consciousness to linger longer than a day or two. Day care was a little different. I loved the sweet snacks they served, most of which I had never tried before. I found myself a little more comfortable in the  company of the Spanish teacher, who was always excited to talk to students, or in the pottery class that happened in the evenings. Even so, I found myself on the outside. The few friends I had attended only part time, leaving me alone on the schooldays between Monday and Friday. Without my sister, everything was overwhelming. Unlike the daycare I had gone to before I moved, I had no real group of friends. Eventually, I decided I wouldn’t go.

My parents didn’t like that, of course. I remember them asking me so many times to “just give it a chance” or “remember that one girl you like there?” I refused to listen. I’ve always thought that my willfulness comes from the determination of both my parents, but whatever its source, it was strong enough even then to allow me to win that argument. The path it set me on, however, was one that I couldn’t go back from as soon as I started to learn its rules.

I was never bullied in school, despite all the doubts I’ve had about myself. The experiences that I went through were a bit more quiet. Because of my desperate want to be liked, I flitted between social groups, changing myself a little for each one. The more I did it, the easier it seemed to go deeper and deeper behind the facades. By sixth grade I had built up a nearly impenetrable floodgate to keep back everything that I was sure people would find strange or unappealing; the shallow person that I showed was free of everything the status quo would reject. As much as I’ve tried to break down those walls, it’s still one of the most difficult tasks I’m facing in my life.

Over the past years, I’ve tried to unearth who I really am. Between helping people, taking care of myself and finding joy in my life, the dust of my own doubts has obscured my vision. Thankfully, quarantine has given me more time to discover that. I’ve realized that more than anything, I want the strength to stand on my own, as an individual. Even when I’m faced with pressure or judgement, I want to be able to be myself authentically. Though I’m just starting now, I’ve had a lot of time to understand my own needs. If I’m able to show that to the world, I believe that I’ll truly find myself in the place I want to be.

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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are the top five things you are thankful for?
• What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

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Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

• Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
• Mention objects that have special significance to you.
• Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

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Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved April 2, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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15 Tips for Writing a College Essay About Yourself

What’s covered:.

• What is the Purpose of the College Essay?
• How to Stand Out Without Showing Off
• 15 Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself
• Where to Get Free Feedback on Your Essay

Most students who apply to top-tier colleges have exceptional grades, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities. How do admissions officers decide which applicants to choose among all these stellar students? One way is on the strength of their college essay .

This personal statement, along with other qualitative factors like teacher recommendations, helps the admissions committee see who you really are—the person behind the transcript. So, it’s obviously important to write a great one.

What Is the Purpose of the College Essay? 

Your college essay helps you stand out in a pool of qualified candidates. If effective, it will also show the admissions committee more of your personality and allow them to get a sense of how you’ll fit in with and contribute to the student body and institution. Additionally, it will show the school that you can express yourself persuasively and clearly in writing, which is an important part of most careers, no matter where you end up. 

Typically, students must submit a personal statement (usually the Common App essay ) along with school-specific supplements. Some students are surprised to learn that essays typically count for around 25% of your entire application at the top 250 schools. That’s an enormous chunk, especially considering that, unlike your transcript and extracurriculars, it isn’t an assessment of your entire high school career.  

The purpose of the college essay is to paint a complete picture of yourself, showing admissions committees the person behind the grades and test scores. A strong college essay shows your unique experiences, personality, perspective, interests, and values—ultimately, what makes you unique. After all, people attend college, not their grades or test scores. The college essay also provides students with a considerable amount of agency in their application, empowering them to share their own stories.

How to Stand Out Without Showing Off 

It’s important to strike a balance between exploring your achievements and demonstrating humility. Your aim should be to focus on the meaning behind the experience and how it changed your outlook, not the accomplishment itself. 

Confidence without cockiness is the key here. Don’t simply catalog your achievements, there are other areas on your application to share them. Rather, mention your achievements when they’re critical to the story you’re telling. It’s helpful to think of achievements as compliments, not highlights, of your college essay.  

Take this essay excerpt , for example:

My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go. 

Instead of saying “ I received this scholarship and participated in this prestigious program, ” the author tells a story, demonstrating their growth and initiative through specific actions (riding the train alone, applying academic programs on her own, etc.)—effectively showing rather than telling.

15 Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself 

1. start early .

Leave yourself plenty of time to write your college essay—it’s stressful enough to compose a compelling essay without putting yourself under a deadline. Starting early on your essay also leaves you time to edit and refine your work, have others read your work (for example, your parents or a teacher), and carefully proofread.

2. Choose a topic that’s meaningful to you 

The foundation of a great essay is selecting a topic that has real meaning for you. If you’re passionate about the subject, the reader will feel it. Alternatively, choosing a topic you think the admissions committee is looking for, but isn’t all that important to you, won’t make for a compelling essay; it will be obvious that you’re not very invested in it.

3. Show your personality 

One of the main points of your college essay is to convey your personality. Admissions officers will see your transcript and read about the awards you’ve won, but the essay will help them get to know you as a person. Make sure your personality is evident in each part—if you are a jokester, incorporate some humor. Your friends should be able to pick your essay from an anonymous pile, read it, and recognize it as yours. In that same vein, someone who doesn’t know you at all should feel like they understand your personality after reading your essay. 

4. Write in your own voice 

In order to bring authenticity to your essay, you’ll need to write in your own voice. Don’t be overly formal (but don’t be too casual, either). Remember: you want the reader to get to know the real you, not a version of you that comes across as overly stiff or stilted. You should feel free to use contractions, incorporate dialogue, and employ vocabulary that comes naturally to you. 

5. Use specific examples 

Real, concrete stories and examples will help your essay come to life. They’ll add color to your narrative and make it more compelling for the reader. The goal, after all, is to engage your audience—the admissions committee. 

For example, instead of stating that you care about animals, you should tell us a story about how you took care of an injured stray cat. 

Consider this side-by-side comparison:

Example 1: I care deeply about animals and even once rescued a stray cat. The cat had an injured leg, and I helped nurse it back to health.

Example 2: I lost many nights of sleep trying to nurse the stray cat back to health. Its leg infection was extremely painful, and it meowed in distress up until the wee hours of the morning. I didn’t mind it though; what mattered was that the cat regained its strength. So, I stayed awake to administer its medicine and soothe it with loving ear rubs.

The second example helps us visualize this situation and is more illustrative of the writer’s personality. Because she stayed awake to care for the cat, we can infer that she is a compassionate person who cares about animals. We don’t get the same depth with the first example. 

6. Don’t be afraid to show off… 

You should always put your best foot forward—the whole point of your essay is to market yourself to colleges. This isn’t the time to be shy about your accomplishments, skills, or qualities. 

7. …While also maintaining humility 

But don’t brag. Demonstrate humility when discussing your achievements. In the example above, for instance, the author discusses her accomplishments while noting that her parents thought of her as immature. This is a great way to show humility while still highlighting that she was able to prove her parents wrong.

8. Be vulnerable 

Vulnerability goes hand in hand with humility and authenticity. Don’t shy away from exploring how your experience affected you and the feelings you experienced. This, too, will help your story come to life. 

Here’s an excerpt from a Common App essay that demonstrates vulnerability and allows us to connect with the writer:  

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain. 

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

In this essay, the writer isn’t afraid to share his insecurities and feelings with us. He states that he had been “ appallingly ignorant ” of his brother’s pain, that he “ often felt out of step ” compared to his brother, and that he had felt “ more and more alone ” over time. These are all emotions that you may not necessarily share with someone you just met, but it’s exactly this vulnerability that makes the essay more raw and relatable. 

9. Don’t lie or hyperbolize 

This essay is about the authentic you. Lying or hyperbolizing to make yourself sound better will not only make your essay—and entire application—less genuine, but it will also weaken it. More than likely, it will be obvious that you’re exaggerating. Plus, if colleges later find out that you haven’t been truthful in any part of your application, it’s grounds for revoking your acceptance or even expulsion if you’ve already matriculated. 

10. Avoid cliches 

How the COVID-19 pandemic changed your life. A sports victory as a metaphor for your journey. How a pet death altered your entire outlook. Admissions officers have seen more essays on these topics than they can possibly count. Unless you have a truly unique angle, then it’s in your best interest to avoid them. Learn which topics are cliche and how to fix them . 

11. Proofread 

This is a critical step. Even a small error can break your essay, however amazing it is otherwise. Make sure you read it over carefully, and get another set of eyes (or two or three other sets of eyes), just in case.

12. Abstain from using AI

There are a handful of good reasons to avoid using artificial intelligence (AI) to write your college essay. Most importantly, it’s dishonest and likely to be not very good; AI-generated essays are generally formulaic, generic, and boring—everything you’re trying to avoid being.   The purpose of the college essay is to share what makes you unique and highlight your personal experiences and perspectives, something that AI can’t capture.

13. Use parents as advisors, not editors

The voice of an adult is different from that of a high schooler and admissions committees are experts at spotting the writing of parents. Parents can play a valuable role in creating your college essay—advising, proofreading, and providing encouragement during those stressful moments. However, they should not write or edit your college essay with their words.

14. Have a hook

Admissions committees have a lot of essays to read and getting their attention is essential for standing out among a crowded field of applicants. A great hook captures your reader’s imagination and encourages them to keep reading your essay. Start strong, first impressions are everything!

15. Give them something to remember

The ending of your college essay is just as important as the beginning. Give your reader something to remember by composing an engaging and punchy paragraph or line—called a kicker in journalism—that ties everything you’ve written above together.

Where to Get Free Feedback on Your College Essay 

Before you send off your application, make sure you get feedback from a trusted source on your essay. CollegeVine’s free peer essay review will give you the support you need to ensure you’ve effectively presented your personality and accomplishments. Our expert essay review pairs you with an advisor to help you refine your writing, submit your best work, and boost your chances of getting into your dream school. Find the right advisor for you and get started on honing a winning essay.

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Essays About Myself: Top 5 Essay Examples Plus Prompts

We are all unique individuals, each with traits, skills, and qualities we should be proud of. Here are examples and prompts on essays about myself .

It is good to reflect on ourselves from time to time. When applying for university or a new job, you may be asked to write about yourself to give the institution a better picture of yourself. Self-understanding and reflection are essential if you want to make a compelling argument for yourself.

Reflect on your life: look back on the people you’ve met, the places you’ve been, and the experiences you’ve had, and think about how they have shaped you into the person you have become today. Think of the bigger picture and be sure to consider who you are based on what others think and say about you, not just who you think you are. 

If you are tasked with the prompt, “essays about myself,” keep reading to see some essay examples.

1. It’s My Life by Ann Smith

2. how i see myself by leticia woods, 3. the truth about myself by madeline dyer, 4. what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves by sandra brossman, 5. a letter to myself by gladys mclaughlin, 1. introducing yourself, 2. describing your strengths and weaknesses, 3. what sets you apart from others, 4. your beliefs and values, 5. an experience that has defined you as a person, 6. what family means to you, 7. your favorite pasttime.

“Sure, I’ve had bad experiences in my life too, but this is exactly what made me the way I am now: grateful, full of love, with a desire to study well because it will help me become a successful person in future and have a high quality of life. I believe that it is manifesting day by day and I feel even more responsibility for what I do and where I go. With all I already have, I know that I’m on the right path and I will do my best to inspire others to live the way they feel like living as well.”

In her essay, Smith describes her interests, habits, and qualities. She writes that she is sociable, enthusiastic about studying, and friendly. She also touches on others’ opinions of her- that she is funny. One of Smith’s hobbies is photography, which allowed her to meet her best friend. She aims to study hard so she can be successful on whatever path she may follow, and inspire others to live their best life. 

“It is this drive that will carry me through my degree program and allow me to absorb the education that I receive and develop solid practical applications from this knowledge. I feel that I will eventually become highly successful in my chosen field because my past has clearly shown my commitment to excellence in every endeavor that I have chosen. Because I remain incredibly focused and committed for future success, I know that my future will be as rewarding as my past.”

Woods discusses how her identity helps her achieve her career goals. First, her commitment to her education is a great asset. Second, prior education and her service in the US Air Force allowed her to learn much about life, the world, and herself, and she was able to learn about different cultures. She believes that experience, devotion, and knowledge will allow her to achieve her dreams. 

“I’m getting better as I recover from the brain inflammation which caused my OCD, but I want to have a day like that. A day where I can relax and enjoy life fully again. A day where I haven’t a care in the world. And for that, I need to be kind to myself. I need to relax and remove any pressure I place on myself.”

Dyer reflects on an important part of herself- her Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Brain inflammation has made her a perfectionist, and she cannot relax. She is constantly compelled by an inner voice to do things she “should” be doing. She wants to be happy, and will try to shut off this voice by practicing self-affirmation. You might also be interested in these essays about discovering yourself .

“Believe it or not, forgiving YOURSELF is the most effective way to disengage from negative interactions with people.  We can only love and accept others to the degree that we love and accept ourselves.  When you make it a habit to learn from your relationships, eventually you will discover that you can observe negative traits within others without judgment and without getting hooked into someone else’s drama.”

In her essay, Brossman writes how we see what we desire for ourselves in others. Our relationships help us understand ourselves better; we see people’s bad qualities and criticize them, professing that we will not be like them. On the other hand, we see qualities we like and try to imitate them. To become a better version of yourself, you should learn from your relationships and emulate desirable qualities. 

“I never tell anyone that I am tired of work or study. Success will come to those who get up and go far. This is my life motto which always reminds me of how vital it is to be hard-working and resilient towards failures. I learn that no matter what others say (even mother and father) if their

thoughts contradict my goals, I don’t have to listen to them. Nobody will live your life, and nobody should tell you who you are and what you are.”

Mclaughlin writes a letter to her future self, explaining what she envisions for herself in the coming years. She writes about who she is now and describes her vision for how much better she will be in the future. She believes that she will have great encounters that will teach her about life, a loving, kind family, and an independent spirit that will triumph over all her struggles

Writing Prompts For Essays About Myself

Write a basic description of yourself; describe where you live, your school or job, and your family and friends. You should also give readers a glimpse of your personality- are you outgoing, shy, or sporty? If you want to write more, you can also briefly explain your hobbies, interests, and skills. 

Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses. Reflect on what you are good at and what you can improve on and select 1-2 from each to write about. Discuss what you can do to work on your weaknesses and improve yourself. 

An essential part of yourself is your uniqueness; for a strong essay about “myself,” think about beliefs, qualities, or values that set you apart from others. Write about one or more, but be sure to explain your choices clearly. You can write about what separates you in the context of your family, friend group, culture, or even society as a whole. 

Your beliefs and values are at the core of your being, as they guide the decisions you make every day. Discuss some of your basic beliefs and values and explain why they are important to you. For a stronger essay, be sure to explain how you use these in day-to-day life; give concrete examples of situations in which these beliefs and values are used. 

We are all shaped by our past experiences. Reflect on an experience, whether that be an achievement, setback, or just a fun memory, and explain its significance to you. Retell the story in detail and describe how it has impacted you and helped make you the person you are today. 

More often than not, family plays a big role in forming us. To give readers a better idea of your identity, describe your idea of family. Discuss its significance, impact, and role in your life. You may also choose to write about how your family has helped shape you into who you are. This should be based on personal experience; refrain from using external sources to inspire you.

Our likes and dislikes are an important part of who we are as well; in your essay, discuss a hobby of yours, preferably one you have been interested in for a long period of time, and explain why you enjoy it so much. You should also write about how it has helped you become yourself and made you a better person.  

Grammarly is one of our top grammar checkers. Find out why in this Grammarly review . If you’re stuck picking your next essay topic, check out our round-up of essay topics about education .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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How to find yourself in 14 small, meaningful steps.

Finding yourself is a journey, and it's one most people will embark on at some point in their lives. The thought of finding yourself may sound intimidating, but it really doesn't have to be. It's simply an exploration of yourself—your desires, the values you hold, and your belief systems. The journey isn't always easy, but it's worth it. On the other side, you'll find clarity, purpose, and a deep sense of fulfillment.

What it means to find yourself

Finding yourself can mean different things for different people. But according to clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D. , in the most general sense, the process of finding yourself can be described as getting to know and accept one's genuine, innermost self. 

"When you find yourself, there's often a sense of 'coming home' to a place of self that feels authentic and familiar. This sense of homecoming is common for those who never knew themselves and those who lost themselves along the way," she tells mbg, adding, "As a Jungian-based psychologist, the process of individuation—which entails coming to terms with the conscious and unconscious parts of the psyche—describes the ultimate goal of finding yourself."

For some, this might involve learning core values and living a life that is in alignment with those values. It may also look like making better choices, which can positively impact self-esteem and help reclaim internal narratives.

"We live in a society where we are constantly being told who we are and how we should act," adds licensed therapist Alyssa "Lia" Mancao, LCSW . "Finding yourself can also mean filtering through this noise and [finding] an inner dialogue that is kind, compassionate, and in resonance with how you would like to be, and not what you think others want you to be."

It's important to note that finding yourself isn't a one-and-done situation. As you change and grow, you'll likely always be discovering new things about yourself and becoming more aware of not just who you are but who you want to be.

Why finding yourself is so important

Self-discovery—the art of finding oneself—is a critical element of both psychological and spiritual growth.

"Finding yourself improves your life's satisfaction," Mancao adds. "It helps you get in touch with your wants, needs, desires, and joys. Doing this helps us live in alignment with what is true for us."

She notes that people sometimes live their lives based on a version of themselves they think others will like the most. "This can lead to increases in stress and anxiety because we are having to overcompensate and put on an 'act.' Also, others' opinions and needs of us are constantly shifting, which would mean that we would have to shape-shift our energy and personality based on each person; this is exhausting."

Instead, when you know who you are, you can be grounded in your own sense of self and live from that place, which Mancao notes can feel very stabilizing and freeing. 

Challenges of finding yourself

You may end up losing people.

Manly says one of the most common challenges on the journey of finding yourself is friction with family members or friends who become uncomfortable with the changes that often occur during the process.

For example, people-pleasing behaviors often diminish during the self-discovery process, and these shifts can be upsetting for those who are accustomed to the familiar doormat-style dynamics. "Over time, you might realize that some people in your life only exist because they benefited from your people-pleasing, and you start to see that these relationships might be more one-sided," says licensed mental health counselor Tracy Vadakumchery, LMHC .

Some people won't like the new you, she adds, and that's OK. "Part of finding yourself means getting comfortable with not being palatable for everyone. It also means seeing who does not have your best interests at heart," she says. "Ultimately, as we change, the people around us may change too."

Things might get dark

Another common challenge on the journey of finding yourself is often termed "the dark night of the soul," Manly says. During this often-dark period of self-discovery, it's common for people to feel lost, confused, and dismal. However, most people experience a lasting sense of self-awareness and personal triumph after passing through this difficult period.

According to psychotherapist Beth Gulotta, LMHC , we are constantly sizing ourselves up to other people. It can cause confusion or lack of clarity on what we actually want and desire for ourselves. "We see someone else doing it—new job, cool vacation, marriage and kids—and we can be pulled into this idea that we need to do it too, even if we may not want any of those things. We get stuck in the 'should' or 'have to' narrative and get pulled away from an 'I want to' narrative."

Gulotta says she often comes across clients who get stuck after being asked what they want because of all the "outside messaging telling us what we should want and who we should be, and it can be hard to drown out that noise."

Uncertainty

There's a lot of uncertainty when it comes to embarking on new adventures or starting new chapters in our lives. As life coach Sherry Samuels tells mbg, "Most of us are willing to remain in our comfort zone, even when it is deeply uncomfortable, because that is a space that we know and/or are familiar with. As we embrace our individuality and authenticity, we are faced with things that are unfamiliar and scary. We do not know what is on the other side of the pain, discontent, lack of fulfillment and often don't believe it's possible to have something more, different, and better, so we get in our own way, slowing down the progress we both need and desire."

15 ways to start finding yourself:

Explore your values..

When it comes to finding yourself, a great place to start is figuring out what your values are. "Your values are the things that are most important to you in life, such as honesty, compassion, or creativity," licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist DuEwa "Kaya" Spicer, LCSW, CCATP, CST , explains to mbg. "Take some time to reflect on your values and identify the ones that resonate with you the most."

When you know what your values are, she says, you can then start to think about how you can live in better alignment with those values and make choices that reflect what's most important to you.

Look to the past.

It's often said we should let go of the past in order to step into our future, but the past can actually be a useful guide to finding yourself. Licensed therapist Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali, LMFT , suggests "thinking back to a time when life felt fun and simple. What activities did you do? Who did you surround yourself with? What triggered those easy feelings? Try to recreate a version of that time of your life. Note that it doesn't have to be a copy-and-paste version, but these questions are just a guideline."

She also recommends reflecting on how you lost your connection in the first place. Where did it all go wrong? And how can you reverse the parts that went wrong? 

Begin a journaling practice, suggests Osibodu-Onyali. Each day, spend a few minutes checking in with yourself. Write down the things that make you happy, what makes you unhappy, and what new things you're feeling, thinking, and experiencing each day. 

Practice mindfulness.

Taking it a step further, try implementing a full mindfulness practice into your routine to help support your self-discovery process. 

"Mindfulness is being present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings without judgment," New York–based neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez, Psy.D., tells mbg. "It can help you develop self-awareness and gain insight into your thoughts and emotions."

We've got a guide to starting a mindfulness meditation practice , or Hafeez says you can try a meditation app to guide your practice. 

Focus on establishing trust within.

Finding yourself is all about building inner trust , says Samuels. Unfortunately, if you have lived life based on the expectations of others, you likely have found no room to build trust within. But when we do trust ourselves, we are able to take chances and to step outside of our comfort zone with a greater sense of ease.

We are experts at diminishing who we are by looking in the past at mistakes, she adds, but one beautiful way to build trust within is to take time to list our wins. Where have we been successful? How have we shown up for ourselves?

Look for role models.

Licensed mental health counselor Jessa White, M.A., LMHCA , suggests trying to find other people that inspire you to help you figure out who you want to be. 

"The truth is, many of us turn out like our parents," she tells mbg. "We subconsciously and consciously follow the path they lay. But finding yourself means figuring out what you align with, not what you were born into."

Notice who inspires and excites you, she recommends, and observe which actions of theirs resonate with you. These could be real people in your life, but they can also be TV characters, media figures, or creators online. 

Embrace your innate curiosity.

If you think about it, we are all born curious. That curiosity encourages us to go from crawling to walking, so we can explore the world around us. "Unfortunately, because we are given so many messages to 'be careful' as we move through life, we can slowly lose that connection to our innate curiosity as we opt to go the safe route(s)," says Samuels. "But when we reconnect to that innate curiosity, we are creating space to honor the things that excite us about life, and that then allows us to connect deeply to the truth of who we are." 

Embracing your curiosity can look like asking questions and making choices "from a place of true interest and gentleness," she adds. "It means being open to the possibilities and being OK with the possibility that mistakes can and will happen along the way, but that doesn't define who we are and what we are able to do or be."

Try new things.

Trying new things can help you discover what you enjoy, what you're good at, and what brings you meaning and purpose, says Hafeez. "It can also help you step out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. To begin trying new things, you can list activities or hobbies you've always been curious about and pick one to try. It doesn't have to be something big or expensive; it could be something as simple as trying a new recipe or taking a different route to work."

Embrace self-care.

Spicer calls it radical self-indulgence . It's important to prioritize pleasure and believe you deserve it, she says. "Taking care of yourself, both physically and emotionally, is an important part of self-discovery. Make time for activities that you enjoy, such as exercise, reading, or spending time with loved ones. Date yourself."

Do the opposite of what your people-pleasing anxiety is telling you.

Unlearning your people-pleasing instincts is a big part of finding yourself because when you're always focused on making sure everyone else is OK, you're not focusing on yourself. 

"Take your people-pleasing anxiety on a case-by-case basis," Vadakumchery recommends. "When you know your brain is just making up scenarios, do the opposite of what it's telling you to do. If it's saying, 'Do the most for this person' without any reasons as to why, try doing less and see what happens. You might find that this person didn't notice any changes to your relationship and still appreciates you."

(Here's our full guide on how to focus on yourself .)

Use positive affirmations.

While finding yourself, there will be high moments and low ones. It's important to be gentle with yourself and speak to yourself with kindness. Gulotta recommends using positive affirmations to help manage any negative self-talk that comes up during the self-discovery process and that may be getting in the way of seeing yourself clearly. ("It is extremely hard to find yourself from this place," she notes.)

Discover your creative flow.

Psychologist Robyn McKay, Ph.D., describes "flow" as the consciousness state that's associated with creativity. It's when you lose track of time and become engaged and absorbed in an activity that's challenging and fulfills your soul. 

"Writers find flow when they're writing; musicians, when they're composing or playing music; therapists, when they're helping another person heal," says McKay. "Knowing your flow is one of the best ways to find yourself because your flow provides clues to your purpose in life, what you're meant to be contributing to make the world a better place."

Go to therapy.

Last but not least, working with a therapist can be immensely helpful in the process of finding yourself. "A therapist can help you identify your values and make decisions that are more aligned with them," Vadakumchery says.

Take your time.

It does take time to get comfortable with the self-discovery process. Instead of focusing on the outcome, Mancao suggests shifting your focus. 

"Shift your attention to the journey and nuggets of wisdom that you are finding along the way. This is all part of the process," she says. "Resisting it or shaming yourself for not having things a certain way can prolong it, so give yourself grace through it all. We are all doing this thing called life for the first time."

What does it really mean to find yourself?

Finding yourself is an act of self-love. It's an inward journey that involves a lot of introspection and discipline, but the reward is great. The process of finding yourself can be described as getting to know and accept one's genuine, innermost self. As you lean into it, you'll learn about the things you value the most, your dreams, and your deepest desires. As you explore who you are, you'll begin to develop a better relationship with yourself.

How do I discover who I really am and what I want in life?

It can help to open up a blank page in a journal or notes app and begin writing down your answers to questions like: What are my values? What makes me happy in life? What helps me slide into a creative flow state? Who do I want to be more like in my life? How can I feel more like myself? 

The takeaway

The journey of finding yourself is something that most people will tackle at some point in their lives. It's not something you check off your to-do list and move on with your day. Finding yourself is often a lifelong process, and as we grow and change, there will be new things to learn and discover about ourselves.

"Keep trying new things, challenging unhelpful and hurtful narratives, and keep going," says Mancao. "Cultivate a sense of curiosity that if something doesn't work, then maybe the next thing might, and keep going with this train of thought. It is all a process of learning and relearning, so instead of focusing on a timeline—focus on what's working and not working, and just keep building on that knowledge."

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The Best Books About Finding Yourself

Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a journalist who has written for the Atlantic, the Washington Post, Pacific Standard, VICE, and elsewhere. Her more creative work has appeared in Creative Nonfiction, under the gum tree, Poets & Writers, and other publications, and she is the Essays Editor for Hippocampus Magazine. Her essay, "The Fear That Lives Next to My Heart," published in Southwest Review, was listed as a Notable Essay in Best American Essays 2021. She also writes bookish stuff here and at the Feminist Book Club, is the author of A Dirty Word, and is the founder of Guerrilla Sex Ed. When not working, she enjoys yoga, embroidery, singing, cat snuggling, and staring at the birds in her backyard feeder. You can learn more at stephauteri.com and follow her on Insta/Threads at @stephauteri .

View All posts by Steph Auteri

The books ran the gamut. I read books about getting what you deserve. I read books about saying “yes” to life. I read books about surviving marriage and surviving your shopping habit and finding inspiration. The books covered many different aspects of life, but at their core, each book was about finding yourself. I so desperately wanted to find myself. My best self.

These days, self-help isn’t really my thing. I find it too prescriptive, and so much of it feels like pure motivation with not enough meat. Instead, I prefer to read novels and memoirs that show how different folks — fictional and otherwise — have found their own way. The narrative inspires me. I take with me what resonates. The rest is just good story.

Because even at the age of 43, I’m still finding myself. I always will be. As I wrote in my post about adult coming-of-age books (and you’ll see some overlap in the list that follows), we are always evolving in a myriad of ways.

We never stop developing and becoming.

Read on for the best books about finding yourself. Take what resonates. Simply enjoy the rest.

Acne by Laura Chinn

On the surface, this hilarious memoir is about a woman suffering from a lifelong case of self-esteem-crushing cystic acne. But deep down, it’s about so much more. In her book, Chinn writes about growing up mixed-race in a broken home where things keep getting worse. Despite the many obstacles, however, she continues to make it through each day, sense of humor intact. By the end, she finds a version of herself — her true self — that actually makes her happy.

Gender Queer: A Memoir by Maia Kobabe

Best graphic memoir about finding yourself? It’s this one, hands down. Kobabe uses matter-of-fact language paired with vibrant illustrations to show how important it is to see yourself in the world around you. And there are so many possible selves. Gender Queer is a generously open story of Kobabe’s own gender journey…a twisty-turny, heartwarming tale of how ey discovered eir true self. ( Psst …make sure you get the newer edition, with the foreword by Nate Stevenson, a handful of pages that made me weepy before I even started the meat of the book.)

White Horse by Erika T. Wurth

I highlighted Wurth’s novel in the aforementioned post about adult coming-of-age tales. Because alongside the ghost story, protagonist Kari James is full-on floundering. When she was 2, her mother abandoned her. When she was older and wilder, her best friend died of a drug overdose. In the present day, she exists in a sort of aimless arrested development, spending most of her time at her favorite dive bar and caring for her father. She spends the arc of this book figuring out what really happened to her mother. Eventually, she is able to achieve closure with the many losses she’s suffered and to see herself as worthy of a better life. But is she brave enough to go after what she’s always wanted?

The Freedom Clause by Hannah Sloane

This is probably the lightest, fluffiest book on this list, but it still has something to say about finding yourself. In this novel, Daphne reluctantly agrees to her open marriage with her husband, Dominic. The rules? They can each sleep with just one other person one night a year. And in five years, they’ll reevaluate. Neither one of them is prepared for how this will shake the very foundation of their marriage, least of all Daphne, who finds that the eponymous Freedom Clause has enabled her to discover a more confident, assertive version of herself who feels comfortable asking for and going after what she really wants.

The In-Betweens by Davon Loeb

I picked up a free copy of this memoir at a conference this past March, having never heard of it before. When I finally got around to opening it up, it instantly became one of my favorite reads of the year. Loeb lays out his story in gorgeously lyrical vignettes, writing about what it was like to grow up biracial, unsure of his place in his white family and in larger society. Taking us from childhood all the way through adulthood, The In-Betweens gives us the portrait of a man trying to find himself in a culture that seems hellbent on erasing him.

What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo

Foo writes of a life in which she finds it difficult to cope in this memoir. While she’s a high achiever and her life looks perfect on paper, she’s often subject to intense panic attacks and emotional outbursts. There’s a clarity that comes with finding yourself and, in this case, with finally finding a diagnosis that explains everything. When Foo is diagnosed with complex PTSD at the age of 30, she is finally able to acknowledge the years of abuse and neglect to which her parents subjected her. Eventually, she learns how to manage the symptoms of her illness while still living a full life.

Black Sheep by Rachel Harrison

OK. This one is probably as light as The Freedom Clause , but it’s a little less fluffy. In this comedic horror by one of my favorite contemporary writers in this genre, our protagonist finds herself all right. But the self she finds isn’t quite what she was expecting. I don’t want to give away too much because that would ruin your fun. But here are the basics: Vesper leaves home (a staunchly religious community) at the age of 18 and finds herself stuck in a series of dead-end jobs. Years later, she’s surprised when she receives a wedding invitation from her childhood best friend. She didn’t think she was welcome back at the family farm. She attends out of morbid curiosity and gets much more than she bargained for. When it comes to books about finding yourself, it’s probably not the roadmap you want to follow. But you can’t help enjoying it anyway.

Sea Change by Gina Chung

In this novel, we follow Ro, a 30-year-old who feels frozen in place as those in her life seem to move and grow past her. Her boyfriend leaves her to join a mission to Mars. Her best friend, who is getting married and who is thriving at work, grows ever more distant. Ro, meanwhile, has been working the same menial job at an aquarium for what feels like forever and spending her nights drinking. (You’ll notice a lot of similarities between Ro and many of the other protagonists on this list.) Feeling increasingly isolated, she doesn’t take it well when the giant octopus that’s been at the aquarium her entire life is purchased by an outside investor. At this point, she can either drown in stasis or find a way to move forward. Her journey to find herself isn’t as dramatic as the others featured in this post. It’s much quieter and still in process by the book’s end. But isn’t that more true to life?

You Could Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith

This lyrical memoir is an exploration of the author’s divorce: the time leading up to it, the time when she was in the thick of it, and the time that came after. I found much to relate to in its parsing out of what makes a loving, supportive marriage, and the narrative arc ends in a place of beautiful hope and happiness. I include it on this list because, in moving past the ugliness of divorce, Smith is able to find herself again and to find a life that makes sense in the wake of a major life transition. By the way, Smith is a poet, so you know the language is stunning.

IMHO, these are the very best books about finding yourself. With each narrative, I was able to find a different and luminous way of being and, in so doing, was able to see the validity of my own ongoing journey. If you like your journeys of the self to be more self-helpy, I suggest this list of books about finding yourself , your happiness, and your purpose. And if you crave even more feels, I recommend these 8 nonfiction books about feelings and emotions .

Good luck on your journey!

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Home Essay Samples Life

Essay Samples on Finding Yourself

Where do you see yourself in the future.

Introduction The question "Where do you see yourself in the future?" is both introspective and forward-looking, inviting us to contemplate our aspirations, goals, and the path we envision for ourselves. This essay explores the journey of self-discovery, goal-setting, and personal growth as we navigate the...

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• Finding Yourself

Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years: Envisioning Future

As I stand on the threshold of my journey into the future, I am often prompted to ponder the question, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" This inquiry serves as a compass, guiding my aspirations and decisions. In a rapidly evolving world, it...

Where Do You See Yourself 10 Years From Now

As I stand at the crossroads of the present, I often find my thoughts wandering towards the horizon of the future, contemplating the question, "Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?" This inquiry acts as both a compass and a canvas, guiding my...

What Inspires You to Be Confident, to Be Yourself

It feels like the expectations placed on me keep growing. My parents, friends, peers all have this vision for my future, but I don't see it. Everyone my age is doing their best to conform. Why? Why fit in when you are unique? When you...

• Being Yourself
• Inspiration

What Makes You Who You Are

Who are you? What a compelling question that is. If due attention has never been paid to this inquiry before time, it often leaves the recipient confused. Here’s the truth: unless a man has made due efforts to answer a question like this, it would...

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Identity Crisis: What Shapes Your Identity

Your Identity is your most valuable possession, protect it (Elastic Girl). Once in our lifetime, we ask ourselves this question that is difficult to answer. Who are we? What makes up my personality? These type of self-questions make us think about ourselves. Knowing our identity...

• Personal Identity

How I Learned to Accept Myself

Acceptance. You see it isn’t easy for a short bulky teenager to fit in at school, especially in the 21st Century. I was always clouded with self-doubt and the social stigmas associated with my body. In a sense, my mind was a dinghy constantly drifting...

• Self Esteem

The Steep and Rocky Path of Finding Oneself in William Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” 

“Twelfth Night” is a fictional story by William Shakespeare that shows the impacts it has on a person when they try to become somebody they aren’t. In “Twelfth Night” Viola takes on a male role as her brother Sebastian, whom she believes died at sea,...

• Twelfth Night

Finding Your Calling: The Right Career Path For You

After both the struggle and fun experiences your high school life had brought you, another chapter is waiting for you. The decision in finding the right path where you should go is the next in line. Opportunities are undoubtedly innumerable at this moment of your...

• Personal Goals

Comprassion of Sartre's and Camus' Ideas of Existentialism

Existentialism is a way of thinking about finding oneself and the significance of life through choice, decision, and moral obligation. The belief is that individuals are looking to discover who and what they really are throughout their life as they settle on decisions depending on...

• Albert Camus
• Existentialism

Finding My Own Path in Life

A dream can alter so much in a person’s life – it affects everyone in varying degrees and propels people to push themselves towards a better future. My life is nothing short of an example to prove this claim. Having spent my childhood years engrossed...

• Personal Experience

The Theme of Finding Your Identity in "Trying to Find Chinatown", "Mistaken Identity", and "Girl"

Learning who you are and figuring out your identity can be a difficult thing to do. It takes some time to learn about your strengths and weaknesses, belief systems and future goals for yourself. Self-exploration with societal pressures makes this process even more difficult. Society...

• Individual Identity

Finding Myself Was Easier Said Than Done

When it came to finding myself, so many people probably have been in my position at one point or another. You get down, you get out and you have a hard time picking yourself back up off the ground. This can be tough and if...

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Best topics on Finding Yourself

1. Where Do You See Yourself in the Future

2. Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years: Envisioning Future

3. Where Do You See Yourself 10 Years From Now

4. What Inspires You to Be Confident, to Be Yourself

5. What Makes You Who You Are

6. Identity Crisis: What Shapes Your Identity

7. How I Learned to Accept Myself

8. The Steep and Rocky Path of Finding Oneself in William Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” 

9. Finding Your Calling: The Right Career Path For You

10. Comprassion of Sartre’s and Camus’ Ideas of Existentialism

11. Finding My Own Path in Life

12. The Theme of Finding Your Identity in “Trying to Find Chinatown”, “Mistaken Identity”, and “Girl”

13. Finding Myself Was Easier Said Than Done

• Perseverance
• Career Goals
• Homesickness
• Feature of Character

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Advanced Essay #3 + [Finding yourself vs. Creating yourself.]

Finding yourself vs. Creating yourself.

I often hear people say “Throughout childhood you spend most of your time trying to find yourself.” They say this is the reason that childhood is so hard, but to that I disagree. To me, the idea of finding yourself is synonymous with a having a destiny. I believe that you spend your life creating yourself and your future, it is not found, and you are not born with specific purpose. There is no short cuts in doing that because creating and molding the person you want to be takes hard work. Naturally you are born with a certain amount of personality and talent through genetics, but success is created after you are born, not before. The search for real self is fiction, your personality is not waiting to be stumbled upon one day. If the search for true self was reality, when it is finally found you would become static, without any real reason to be ambitious, because anything out of that comfort zone would be considered “Not being yourself.” Although having your own opinions are unique to the specific person, having a destiny is not real. Everyday you create yourself with thoughts, actions, and dreams. It is a life experiment to mold what you like and what you don’t like. The rest is up to the person, and the people who influence that person. The people that influence you play a extremely vital role in creating yourself. What is considered as finding yourself, is misconstrued with having society’s restrictions define you. The influence that society has on a person's spirit is stronger than anyone would like to admit, and even the broadest categorization of humans are made by our society. This is shown in the article from The New York Times "Race and Racial Identity Are Social Constructs.” The article states that:

Race is not biological. It is a social construct. There is no gene or cluster of genes common to all blacks or all whites. Were race “real” in the genetic sense, racial classifications for individuals would remain constant across boundaries. Yet, a person who could be categorized as black in the United States might be considered white in Brazil or colored in South Africa.

This proves the idea that society has created broad guidelines for people's lives. I believe that these constrictions make people afraid to overstep boundaries for fear of “not being yourself.”

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Quote Investigator®

Tracing Quotations

Life Is Not About Finding Yourself. Life Is About Creating Yourself

George Bernard Shaw? Mary McCarthy? Thomas Szasz? Sydney J. Harris? Helen A. De Rosis? Victoria Y. Pellegrino? Karen Horney? Anonymous?

(1) Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. (2) The self is not something you find; it is something you create.

This notion has been attributed to playwright George Bernard Shaw, novelist Mary McCarthy, psychiatrist Thomas Szasz, and journalist Sydney J. Harris. Would you please explore this topic?

Quote Investigator: Tracing this saying is difficult because it can be expressed in many different ways. QI has found no substantive evidence that George Bernard Shaw who died in 1950 employed this saying; also, QI has seen no substantive evidence that Mary McCarthy who died in 1989 used this saying.

The earliest match located by QI appeared in 1969 within the syndicated column of Sydney J. Harris. Boldface added to excerpts by QI: [1] 1969 April 18, Record-Gazette, Strictly Personal by Sydney J. Harris (Syndicated), (newspaper has misspelling: Sidney) Quote Page 1, Column 10, Banning, California. (Newspapers_com)

Young people searching for their “real self” must learn that the real self is not something one finds as much as it is something one makes; and it is one’s daily actions that shape the inner personality far more permanently than any amount of introspection or intellection.

Below are additional selected citations in chronological order.

In 1972 Harris published the book “For the Time Being”, and he included the passage presented above. [2] 1972, For the Time Being by Sydney J. Harris, Section: Of the Life of the Spirit, Essay: Charity Doesn’t Start at Home, Quote Page 30, Houghton Mifflin Company, Boston, Massachusetts. (Verified … Continue reading

In 1973 Thomas Szasz published “The Second Sin” which contained the following similar remark: [3] 1974 (1973 Copyright), The Second Sin by Thomas S. Szasz, Chapter: Personal Conduct, Quote Page 49, Routledge & Kegan Paul, London. (Verified with scans)

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates.

In 1976 “The Book of Hope: How Women Can Overcome Depression” by Helen A. De Rosis and Victoria Y. Pellegrino included an interesting variant notion: [4] 1976 Copyright, The Book of Hope: How Women Can Overcome Depression by Helen A. De Rosis and Victoria Y. Pellegrino, Part 3, Chapter 19: Recovery, Quote Page 299, Macmillan Publishing Company, New … Continue reading

As Karen Horney once said, “The prime privilege is to work at oneself.” In other words, to find yourself is to create yourself.

In 1978 “The Book of Hope” was reviewed by Jon D. Swartz, and he reprinted the statement above: [5] 1978 Summer, National Forum, Volume 58, Number 3, Book Review by Jon D. Swartz of “The Book of Hope” by Helen DeRosis and Victoria Y. Pellegrino, (Jon D. Swartz is the Chairman of Psychology, … Continue reading

“To find yourself is to create yourself” is the book’s theme, a rephrasing of Horney’s advice that one should work constantly at improving oneself.

In 1983 the statement by Thomas Szasz appeared in “The Oxford Book of Aphorisms” edited by John Gross: [6] 1983, The Oxford Book of Aphorisms, Chosen by John Gross, Topic: The Sense of Identity, Quote Page 58, Oxford University Press, New York. (Verified with scans)

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin, 1974

Also, in 1983 the statement by Sydney J. Harris appeared in “A Treasury of Days: 365 Thoughts on the Art of Living” edited by Dee Danner Barwick: [7] 1983, A Treasury of Days: 365 Thoughts on the Art of Living: Reader’s Digest Words of Gold, Edited by Dee Danner Barwick, Day: September 3, Quote Page 64, A Reader’s Digest / C.R. Gibson … Continue reading

Young people searching for their “real self” must learn that the real self is not something one finds as much as it is something one makes; and it is one’s daily actions that shape the inner personality far more permanently than any amount of introspection or intellection. SYDNEY J. HARRIS

In 1994 “The Age” newspaper of Melbourne, Australia mentioned a new album by a band called “fake” headed by Lady Bump: [8] 1994 November 5, The Age, Magazine Section: Good Weekend, Page: Fast Forward edited by Cassie McCullagh, Article: Who’s that girl, Quote Page 11, Column 1, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. … Continue reading

fake, which is more of a “project” than a band, comes with its own “manifesto”, sprinkled with sentiments such as, “Why find yourself when you can create yourself?” and “Why try when you can lie?”.

In 1996 the saying under examination was attributed to Mary McCarthy within “You, Inc: Discover the C.E.O. Within!” by Burke Hedges: [9] 1996, You, Inc: Discover the C.E.O. Within! by Burke Hedges, Section 2: 10 Simple Principles to Dramatically Increase Your Fair Market Value!, Principle 1: Take Responsibility, Quote Page 31, INTI … Continue reading

The famous American novelist Mary McCarthy once said that “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” What a message!

In 1997 the “San Francisco Chronicle” of California published a piece about the court system and printed a remark from Clare Maier who was a deputy public defender. She attributed the saying under exploration to George Bernard Shaw: [10] 1997 August 11, San Francisco Chronicle, High Praise for Drug Court by Charlie Goodyear (Chronicle Contra Costa Bureau), (Continuation title: COURT: Treatment, Not Jail), Start Page A11, Quote Page … Continue reading

Then, quoting from George Bernard Shaw, she added, “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

In conclusion, QI tentatively credits Sydney J. Harris with this notion based on the 1969 citation. Thomas Szasz expressed the same idea a few years later in 1973. The attributions to George Bernard Shaw and Mary McCarthy are currently unsupported.

Image Notes: Public domain image of puzzle pieces from geralt at Pixabay. Image has been cropped and resized.

(Great thanks to Christopher Burd, Andrew Crowther, Sue Welfare, and Nigel Rees whose inquiries led QI to formulate this question and perform this exploration. Rees wrote about this topic in his April 2021 newsletter and shared the 1973 citation located by Welfare. Also, thanks to Barry Popik who researched this topic and located the 1996 and 1997 citations. Further thanks to discussants Barney Dellar and Colin Fine.)

Home / Essay Samples / Life / Myself / Finding Yourself

Finding Yourself Essay Examples

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Human Identity in Question: Exploring the Philosophy of Self

The philosophy of self is the study of the many conditions of identity that make one subject of experience distinct from other experiences. In philosophy of self essay I will reveal this topic.  To start with, the self is sometimes understood as a unified being...

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Self-discovery: Understanding and Knowing Yourself Better

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I have always wondered what my purpose here on Earth is, and I can finally give myself that answer. You are here to find yourself. To embrace and be yourself. And in order to do that, you must love yourself. In self love essay I...

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