transfer college essay

Paragraph 1: No, I am not homesick. I have friends. The work is not overwhelming. Nor has it interfered with my involvement in extracurricular activities. My first semester has been a time of transition as it is for most college freshmen. Making decisions regarding course selection, seeking advice from advisors, and utilizing time efficiently have all been part of the process, accomplished at a distance from the familiar support structures and cues of both home and high school. As a result, I have developed a greater sense of myself and my abilities, both academic and social. The experience has been satisfying. However, with all due introspection and now retrospection, I feel a change is necessary. çevrimsiz bonus

This opening is fairly weak because it is very general. I learned very little about this applicant from this paragraph, which could be entirely omitted to reduce the number of unnecessary words. Admission officers have many applications to read; there’s no need to burden them with excessive words. Some of the best Common Application transfer essays I’ve read started with a brief “a slice of life” anecdote, a short narrative that captures an episode in one’s life. If you decide to feature an anecdote in your introduction, create a vivid image (or movie) of a piece of your life in the reader’s mind. You would then have a hook. Other than including a short transition, avoid dragging this story into the next paragraph. Don’t make this episode the sole content of your essay. For school-specific essays, which often have a tight word limit, writing an anecdote might not be the best use of the limited space. Instead, consider writing one or two introductory sentences and then diving right into your specific reasons for wanting to transfer.

Paragraph 2: Sociologist Lev Vygotsky believed that peers play a major role in an individual’s development and learning. The students and friends with whom I grew up were extraordinarily bright, competitive, and creative. In high school, discussions and opinions on almost any subject were spontaneous and interesting. At Central State, the small class size and the seminar formats have presented a great setting in which to learn. The highly motivated professors, who encourage participation, have been the highlight of my experience thus far. However, the level of student interaction has not been gratifying. Conversations concerning classroom topics and related materials have been limited. I have not been sufficiently challenged or stimulated by my peers.

This paragraph has an interesting topic sentence. Also, the applicant writes positively about her current school, citing, for example, its small class size and the seminar formats. Avoid sounding overly negative about your current school because you don’t want to badmouth any school. Despite its positive aspects, this paragraph lacks concrete details. Why is it that “the level of student interaction has not been gratifying”? What did the writer mean in stating, “Conversations concerning classroom topics and related materials have been limited”? Adhering to the word limit, make sure to reserve space for specific details that will help the reader understand exactly why you want to transfer.

Your Common Application transfer essay should include this type of information, especially if you’re not writing for a particular school. That is, if you’re writing a non-school-specific Common Application main essay, much of your essay will discuss why your current school isn’t your best fit. On the other hand, your school-specific “why” transfer essay must focus on the aspects of that particular school that align with your needs or the type of college experience that you seek.

Paragraph 3: During my first semester, I have come to realize the influence a community has on my learning and growth. At Central State, the campus is active from around eleven in the morning until three in the afternoon, Monday through Friday. One Saturday in October, while walking to the dining hall, I realized that I was one of five people on campus. With the majority of undergraduates living in on-campus dorms, the campus of Northern State fosters a unique intimacy. The campus is lively throughout the day. Such activity creates a comfortable environment that promotes interaction and the formation of strong bonds between members of the community. Having experienced a year of college and dorm life, I am more aware of what is best for me. As a transfer student, I would appreciate this style of living even more.

The type of information in this paragraph is well-suited for a school-specific transfer essay. The writer has now moved from focusing on classes to discussing campus life. The statement, “One Saturday in October, while walking to the dining hall, I realized that I was one of five people on campus” provides clear imagery of a negative aspect of the applicant’s current school in terms of the applicant’s needs or desires. Brief examples should be included to show how Northern State “fosters a unique intimacy” and how it is “lively throughout the day.” To conclude this paragraph, the applicant writes, “As a transfer student, I would appreciate this style of living even more.” I wonder what she plans to do to take advantage of this style of living so that she can be more appreciative of it.

Paragraph 4: Based on conversations with current students, it is my understanding that members of the Northern State community make it a unique place to live and learn. Many renowned professors choose to teach at the undergraduate level. Having the chance to interact with an instructor such as Avery Marks, whose passion and mastery of botany are unrivaled, would be quite an experience. The most defining aspect of Northern State’s faculty, however, is the manner in which they approach their role in influencing a student’s life. Professors, instructors, and advisors guide the student so that he/she can make independent decisions.

By the end of the paragraph, we still don’t know how “members of the Northern State community make it a unique place to live and learn,” but as you’ll see, she gives a clear example in the next paragraph. Here, the applicant includes interesting, specific examples to show that she knows about the school and has compelling reasons to want to transfer there. Mentioning a specific professor that you’re interested in would show that you’ve researched the school. If you plan to major in biology and you’re especially interested in plants, highlighting a professor who specializes in botany, as in this paragraph, would be appropriate, but avoid empty name-dropping. Your interest in, say biology or botany, should also be apparent in other parts of your application. The last sentence regarding student guidance does not seem to be substantiated anywhere in the paragraph or essay.

Paragraph 5: Furthermore, the structure and aspects of Northern State’s residential colleges foster the formation of relationships. For the remainder of my undergraduate years I want to return “home” to a very close group of friends for nightly dinners and conversations concerning daily activities. The strong bonds that are formed within a diverse group of people who make up these individual communities create an optimal atmosphere in which to grow, socially and intellectually.

This paragraph, which emphasizes a unique aspect of Northern State, provides an example of information to include in a school-specific transfer essay.

Concluding paragraph: All aspects of Northern State seem to enhance learning. Guidance from faculty members and challenges from peers within Northern’s close-knit community create a setting in which I can pursue current interests and discover new one while simultaneously discovering my future direction. This is the purpose of the undergraduate experience.

The best part of this conclusion is its brevity. I’m not sure what “this” refers to in the last sentence; many writing guides suggest that you place a noun after “this” to avoid ambiguity. Though every essay does not need to end with a “bang,” conclusions should be at least interesting. One strategy for writing a good conclusion is to tie it to the introduction, a strategy that could not be used in this essay due to its weak, general introduction.

Concluding words: Each transfer application is unique, and therefore, we cannot provide an exhaustive list of details and information that should be included. Use this analysis as a guideline for writing your Common Application essay(s)–whether you’re making it school-specific or not–and school-specific essays and try to critique your own essays in the manner we’ve done here.

(Photo: xelcise )

Here's the Full Story on Transferring to the College You Want

Real essays and stats that students have used to transfer to Stanford, Columbia, Penn, and more.

45-day 100% money-back guarantee

Click here to continue...

4 responses to The College Transfer Application Essay: “Why” Transfer Example

Guest said on August 26, 2011

If I’m only applying to one school, would it be okay to make my common app essay school specific?

Chris said on September 7, 2011

Yes. We’ve seen both writing non-school specific and school specific essays work for admission to the most highly selective schools. Just look at the whole application overall and ask yourself if it would portray the story you want to tell the school. If it does, just follow the directions, if not, tweak and add in what you need to (like school specific details in the common app essay) till the application conveys the story you want to tell the school.

Good luck! Chris

Aaron said on September 9, 2015

If I’m applying for USC, NYU, UMichigan, UPenn, PACE, and Manhattan. I’m not sure whether the common app essay should be specific or not. Because the above schools have different geography, so I don’t know if I should do very specific or general that every schools can accept it. In addition, the common app essay should also be focusing on my current school?

Lan Ngo said on September 14, 2015

Should you write a Common App “Personal Essay” customized for each school? It depends on the school. Many colleges and universities require a writing supplement where you can specifically discuss the school in question. For example, USC’s current transfer application has two required writing supplements, one of which is the following: “Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (250 word limit).” Therefore, for USC, you can use that supplement to discuss “why USC”, and you don’t need to customize the “Personal Essay”.

2 trackbacks

The college transfer application essay: an example for the university of pennsylvania, the college transfer application essay: an example for the university of pennsylvania | transferweb.

Please create an account to get started.

Remember Me

Current Hits

All-Time Most Popular Articles

Article Topics

No categories

Recent Article Comments

Resources For

Transfer Essay Tips

Did you know that 1 in 3 students who enroll in either a 4-year or 2-year college will probably transfer at some point, according to a report issued by the National Student Clearinghouse Research Center.

If you are one of those students transferring colleges , application essays offer an invaluable opportunity for you to present yourself to admissions officers—and they are the one piece of your application over which you have total control.

Regardless of your grades, scores, or extracurriculars, essays give you the flexibility to show who you are and what you care about in your search for a new school. An original, thoughtful, genuine essay can delight and impress admissions officers. In an applicant pool full of transfer students with great grades and interesting college resumes, the essay could even be the one element that sets you apart from your fellow applicants.

College essays are an unusual genre: they are intensely personal, but have a specific purpose, an academic focus, and a specific audience. Your goal is to express who you are, but in a way that shows colleges that you are a good fit for them intellectually, emotionally, ethically, and otherwise.

As a transfer student, this idea of fit is even more important than it was the first time around: you’re already in a college, so why is this new school valuable and necessary for your education, and why are you a beneficial and instrumental addition to the student community there? What have you DONE in a specific academic area to show your depth as a scholar?

Remember, you’re not the only one seeking to transfer into a college you are targeting. Transfer applications are up and the number of students seeking to transfer is increasing.

OUR TOP TIPS FOR WRITING SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER APPLICATION ESSAYS:

Early Bird Private Counseling discount through July 1

Sample College Transfer Essay

A Sample Essay by a Student Transferring From Amherst to Penn

Jacob Wackerhausen / Getty Images

The following sample essay was written by a student named David. He wrote the transfer essay below for the Common Transfer Application in response to the prompt, "Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve" (250 to 650 words). David is attempting to transfer from Amherst College to the University of Pennsylvania . As far as admissions standards go, this is a lateral move—both schools are extremely selective. His letter will need to be extremely strong for his transfer application to be successful.

Key Takeaways: A Winning Transfer Essay

David's Transfer Application Essay

During the summer after my first year of college, I spent six weeks volunteering at an archaeological excavation in Hazor, site of the largest tel (mound) in Israel. My time in Hazor was not easy—wake-up came at 4:00 a.m., and by noontime temperatures were often in the 90s. The dig was sweaty, dusty, back-breaking work. I wore out two pairs of gloves and the knees in several pairs of khakis. Nevertheless, I loved every minute of my time in Israel. I met interesting people from around the world, worked with amazing students and faculty from Hebrew University, and became fascinated with the current efforts to create a portrait of life in the Canaanite period.

Upon my return to Amherst College for my sophomore year, I soon came to realize that the school does not offer the exact major I now hope to pursue. I'm majoring in anthropology, but the program at Amherst is almost entirely contemporary and sociological in its focus. More and more my interests are becoming archaeological and historical. When I visited Penn this fall, I was impressed by the breadth of offerings in anthropology and archaeology, and I absolutely loved your Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology. Your broad approach to the field with emphases on understanding both the past and present has great appeal to me. By attending Penn, I hope to broaden and deepen my knowledge in anthropology, participate in more summer field work, volunteer at the museum, and eventually, go on to graduate school in archaeology.

My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic. I have made many good friends at Amherst, and I have studied with some wonderful professors. However, I do have one non-academic reason for being interested in Penn. I originally applied to Amherst because it was comfortable—I come from a small town in Wisconsin, and Amherst felt like home. I'm now looking forward to pushing myself to experience places that aren't quite so familiar. The kibbutz at Kfar HaNassi was one such environment, and the urban environment of Philadelphia would be another.

As my transcript shows, I have done well at Amherst and I am convinced I can meet the academic challenges of Penn. I know I would grow at Penn, and your program in anthropology perfectly matches my academic interests and professional goals.

Before we even get to the critique of David's essay, it's important to put his transfer into context. David is attempting to transfer into an Ivy League school. Penn is not the most selective of the country's top universities, but the transfer acceptance rate is still around 6% (at Harvard and Stanford, that number is closer to 1%). David needs to approach this effort at transfer realistically — even with excellent grades and a stellar essay, his chances of success are far from guaranteed.

That said, he has many things going for him — he is coming from an equally demanding college where he has earned good grades, and he seems like the type of student who will certainly succeed at Penn. He will need strong letters of recommendation to round out his application.

Analysis of David's Transfer Essay

Now on to the essay... Let's break down the discussion of David's transfer essay into several categories.

The Reasons for Transfer

The strongest feature of David's essay is the focus. David is pleasingly specific in presenting his reasons for transferring. He knows exactly what he wants to study, and he has a clear understanding of what both Penn and Amherst have to offer him. David's description of his experience in Israel defines the focus of his essay, and he then connects that experience to his reasons for wanting to transfer. There are lots of bad reasons to transfer, but David's clear interest in studying anthropology and archaeology makes his motives seem both well thought-out and reasonable.

Many transfer applicants are trying to move to a new college because they are running away from some kind of bad experience, sometimes something academic, sometimes something more personal. David, however, clearly likes Amherst and is running towards something—an opportunity at Penn that better matches his newly discovered professional goals. This is a big positive factor for his application.

The Common Transfer Application instructions state that the essay needs to be at least 250 words. The maximum length is 650 words. David's essay comes in at around 380 words. It is tight and concise. He doesn't waste time talking about his disappointments with Amherst, nor does he put much effort into explaining the things that other parts of his application will cover such as grades and extracurricular involvement. He does have a lot more space left to elaborate, but in this case the letter gets the job done well with few words.

David gets the tone perfect, something that is difficult to do in a transfer essay. Let's face it—if you are transferring it is because there is something about your current school that you don't like. It's easy to be negative and critical of your classes, your professors, your college environment, and so on. It's also easy to come across as a whiner or an ungenerous and angry person who doesn't have the inner resources to make the most of one's circumstances. David avoids these pitfalls. His representation of Amherst is extremely positive. He praises the school while noting that the curricular offerings do not match his professional goals.

The Personality

Partly because of the tone discussed above, David comes across as a pleasant person, someone who the admissions folks are likely to want to have as part of their campus community. Moreover, David presents himself as someone who likes to push himself to grow. He is honest in his reasons for going to Amherst—the school seemed like a good "fit" given his small-town upbringing. It is, therefore, impressive to see him so actively working to expand his experiences beyond his provincial roots. David has clearly grown at Amherst, and he is looking forward to growing more at Penn.

The Writing

When applying to a place like Penn, the technical aspects of the writing need to be flawless. David's prose is clear, engaging and free of errors. If you struggle on this front, be sure to check out these tips for improving your essay's style . And if grammar isn't your greatest strength, be sure to work through your essay with someone who does have strong grammar skills.

A Final Word on David's Transfer Essay

David's college transfer essay does exactly what an essay needs to do, and he includes the features of a strong transfer essay . He clearly articulates his reasons for transferring, and he does so in a positive and specific way. David presents himself as a serious student with clear academic and professional goals. We have little doubt that he has the skills and intellectual curiosity to succeed at Penn, and he has made a strong argument about why this particular transfer makes a lot of sense.

Odds are still against David's success given the competitive nature of Ivy League transfers, but he has strengthened his application with his essay.

By clicking “Accept All Cookies”, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts.

Essay Consulting Services

College and transfer support, college admissions essays:.

Gaining admission is often the most difficult part of college. There is more competition than ever for the same few seats. The unfortunate reality is that you need to market yourself.

Strong test scores aren't enough any longer, you must present a persuasive case to the admission committee on why you. Admissions officers read thousands of essays and you need your application to stand out. This means that your application and essays need to be compelling and tell a coherent story.

We help students tell their story, and tell it better. Over the years we've worked with with hundreds of students as they edit, refine, revamp, and sometimes overhaul their essays. We work with independent college counselors and online. We believe in clean, clear, compelling essays that are easy to read and stay on point.

How this works: We talk with you about the essay: what you're trying to convey, which schools, etc . You send us what you have. We work on it (comments, edits, suggestions). We send it back. You respond to our work and make changes. Repeat. Sometimes this takes many exchanges, sometimes one. We continue to help until you're satisfied with your essay. The turn around time is quick. Our goal is 48 hours.

And to be 110% clear, we don't create content, ie., we don't write papers for other people.

Customization : We customize our services to our students' needs. We can meet up in person. We can coach over video chat or the phone . It all depends on what you want.

Be sure to check our samples .

Let's talk about how we can help., college transfer applications:.

So you want to switch schools; the college you’ve enrolled at isn’t the college of your dreams. Maybe you've done well and want to go to a more rigorous school, maybe you want to be closer to home, or are switching from a community college to a four year school. Maybe you're looking for a more economical option.

Whatever the case, we've probably helped someone in a similar situation. (We transfered schools in undergrad ourselves.) From students with refugee status trying to transfer schools in the States to students looking to be closer to their significant other, we can help. Let us work with you on the transfer application that will get you where you need to be. We can help you strategize too.

How to Write a Winning College Transfer Essay

Much like snowflakes, DNA profiles, or interpretations of a David Lynch film, no two college transfer applicants are alike. Even if two prospective transfers to Boston University are both named Fred and each hail from Farmington, CT, their paths, and the contours of their academic journeys are probably quite different from one another. Perhaps Fred #1 is a first-generation college student who, for financial reasons, had to complete his freshman year at the local community college. Perhaps Fred #2 underachieved a touch in high school, gained admission into a less-selective state school where he excelled freshman year and is now highly-motivated to study at top school. Each Fred possesses an equally valid story to tell the BU admissions office, and doing so adeptly may well be the key to their acceptance. After all, 42% of all U.S. colleges—and close to 100% of highly-selective schools—cite the essay as being “important” to their transfer application decisions.

To cite another relevant statistic, 37% of all college students transfer at some point in their academic career and each has a worthwhile pathway to chronicle. Whether you’re Fred #1, Fred #2, or someone not even named Fred (imagine that!), you need your transfer essay to be so strong that it leaps right off the page and captures the attention (or, even better, heart) of an admissions officer. In the following article, the College Transitions team will explain precisely how to master this essential component of the transfer application.

Which Transfer essay prompt should I pick?

Starting in 2020-21, the Common App granted its member institutions the option of allowing their transfer applicants to select one of the seven current Common App essay prompts (that are available to freshman applicants).

Some schools will offer you this option, while others will simply ask you the equivalent of “Why are you applying to our university?” If you are given the choice between prompts, it is generally best to select the one that is most broad (note: a broad prompt is good, a broad essay is not) and allows you to compose an essay containing the following essential elements:

Let’s dive in and take a more thorough look at each component, beginning with #1.

1) Why this college is the perfect fit for you

Share with your prospective new academic home exactly what makes them attractive to you. Smaller class size, a particular academic program, a more diverse environment, or the opportunity to for hands-on learning/research opportunities are just a sampling of the legitimate selling points you can cite. Mention specific courses that you are eager to take at their institution, certain distinguished professors who you desire to study under, and unique clubs, activities, or campus traditions in which you are excited to partake. Take advantage of this chance to impress admissions officers with you expansive knowledge of their institution as well as a highly-specific accounting of how you will take advantage of your 2-3 years there. Doing so will separate you from the pack of similarly-qualified transfer applicants.

2) Why you want to leave your current college

Make sure that the reasons that you communicate for wanting to transfer do not end up sounding like a nasty Yelp review of your present school. While you may want to leave College X because the professors are all centenarian windbags and your roommate is breeding capybaras to sell on Craigslist (is there really a market for that?), remember that the school to which you are applying wants to feel wanted. Think about it—would you rather listen to your girlfriend/boyfriend rant about their ex or hear them tell you what makes you awesome? Admissions officers considering a transfer student feel the same way.

3) What unique attributes you will bring to campus

Even in the transfer admissions process, admissions officers are tasked with enhancing the diversity of their undergraduate student body and adding individuals who are likely to be contributing members of the campus community. Is there a particular club that you are eager to join or do wish to start your own? Do you desire to assist a professor in conducting research? Are you an a cappella star or club volleyball diehard? What books do you read for pleasure? Do you have a hidden talent or area of expertise? Are you an introvert or extrovert (both can be selling points)? What ideas, activities, or dreams keep you up in the middle of the night? Give the admissions reader a full picture of what your life will look at their school and how you will make more of an impact (in any form) than many of your fellow applicants.

4) Talk about your academic and extracurricular record

This is also a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your record of involvement on your current campus. It is far easier to sell yourself as someone who will be a contributing member of the campus community if you displayed these qualities at your previous college. Students with an eye on transferring are sometimes so focused on escaping their first institution that they fail to become involved in anything outside of the classroom and thus miss out on valuable opportunities to demonstrate leadership and passion—the very traits needed to transfer to a prestigious school. Write about what you are most proud of—a challenging physics exam you mastered, a philosophy paper you wrote arguing the compatibility of science and religion, or how you started a campus chapter of an organization dedicated to fighting pancreatic cancer.

5) Share your academic and career ambitions

The more you can use your essay to communicate your genuine passions and what makes you tick, the better. Doing so gives your essay broader context and deeper meaning, as it explains the true significance of all of the info shared in steps #1-4. If you want to major in biology, where do you see that taking you down the road? Are you considering graduate or medical school? Do you want to work in research in a specific area? You don’t have to be 100% sure of your career and future academic path at 19 or 20 years old, but as a transfer student, you should share where your experiences and interests may someday take you.

College Transfer Essay – Do’s and Don’ts

A licensed counselor and published researcher, Andrew’s experience in the field of college admissions and transition spans two decades. He has previously served as a high school counselor, consultant and author for Kaplan Test Prep, and advisor to U.S. Congress, reporting on issues related to college admissions and financial aid.

Filter By Category

BUY OUR BOOK

NEWSLETTER SIGN-UP

Downloadable Resources for your College Transition

IMAGES

30+ College Essay Examples
College transfer essay
Persuasive essay
College Transfer Essay
College Transfer Essays
21+ Harvard Transfer Essay Examples Pics

VIDEO

Accepted UC Essay No. 2! Creativity College Essay Prompt (Transfer Student Edition)
Reading My College Essay That Got Me Into Stanford!
How to Write College Essays and Avoid Feeling Overwhelmed (5 TIPS & TRICKS!)
400 POUND COLLEGE QB MAKES HIS TRANSFER DECISION
College basketball transfer portal RANKING: The 15 best players in the portal... RIGHT NOW!!!
Do you know, over 95% of marriages in Pakistan involves transfer of a dowry

COMMENTS

PhD & MA Essays: Essay transfer college FREE Revisions!
Connects the sensual transfer essay college journey of language, -aristeas. That was college essay transfer more applicable to all directors c. Message to all. F you receive back marked essays and assignments
College Transfer Essay & Common App Guidance & Consulting
Brainstorm and discuss college transfer essay topics, writing process and the Common App 1-on-1 with our expert transfer admissions counselors
Ultimate Guide to Prepare College Transfer Essay Using Our Services
A college transfer essay is not only written to get the approval of moving but it also decides your further academic path
The College Transfer Application Essay: "Why" Transfer Example
In this post, we analyze an essay example excerpted from College Admission Essays for Dummies by Geraldine Woods to complement the example for the University of Pennsylvania that we've previously critiqued
College Transfer Essay Tips
If you are one of those students transferring colleges, application essays offer an invaluable opportunity for you to present yourself to admissions officers—and they are the one piece of your application over which you have total control
Sample College Transfer Essay for Admission
Read a sample transfer essay for a student transferring from Amherst College to the University of Pennsylvania with detailed analysis of the essay
College and Transfer
Learn about how we help students applying for college or transferring colleges write personal statements and admissions essay that stand out and fully capture their story and potential
How to Write a Winning College Transfer Essay
1) Why your prospective transfer school is a perfect fit for you. 2) Why your journey has led you away from your current institution