act of kindness essay spm

Essay on Kindness

500 words essay on kindness.

The world we live in today has been through a lot of things from world wars to epidemics, but one thing which remained constant throughout was resilience and kindness. Moreover, it was the spirit to fight back and help out each other. Kindness must be an essential and universal quality to make the world a better place. Through an essay on kindness, we will go through it in detail.

Importance of Kindness

Kindness towards nature, animals and other people has the ability to transform the world and make it a beautiful place for living. But, it is also important to remember that kindness towards you is also essential for personal growth.

Kindness is basically being polite, compassionate and thoughtful. Every religion and faith teaches its followers to be kind. Most importantly, kindness must not limit to humans but also to every living creature.

Even nature has its own way of showing kindness. For instance, the trees grow fruits for us and provide us with shade. One must not see kindness as a core value but as a fundamental behavioural element. When you are kind to your loved ones, you create a stable base.

As people are becoming more self-centred today, we must learn kindness. We must try to integrate it into ourselves. You might not know how a small act of kindness can bring about a change in someone’s life. So, be kind always.

Kindness Always Wins

There is no doubt that kindness always wins and it has been proven time and again by people. Sid is a greedy man who does not share his wealth with anyone, not even his family members.

He also does not pay his workers well. One day, he loses his bag of gold coins and loses his temper. Everyone helps him out to search for it but no one finds it. Finally, his worker’s little son finds the bag.

Upon checking the bag, he sees all the coins are there. But, his greed makes him play a trick on the poor worker. He claims that there were more coins in the bag and the worker stole them.

The issue goes to the court and the judge confirms from Sid whether his bag had more coins to which he agrees. So, the judge rules out that as Sid’s bag had more coins , the bag which the worker’s son found is not his.

Therefore, the bag gets handed to the worker as no one else claims it. Consequently, you see how the worker’s son act of kindness won and paid him well. On the other hand, how Sid’s greediness resulted in his loss only.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Conclusion of the Essay on Kindness

It is essential for all of us to understand the value of kindness. Always remember, it does not cost anything to be kind. It may be a little compliment or it can be a grand gesture, no matter how big or small, kindness always matters. Therefore, try your best to be kind to everyone around you.

FAQ of Essay on Kindness

Question 1: Why is it important to be kind?

Answer 1: It is important to be kind because it makes one feel good about oneself. When you do things for other people and help them with anything, it makes you feel warm and that you have accomplished something. Moreover, you also get respect in return.

Question 2: Why is kindness so powerful?

Answer 2: Kindness has a lot of benefits which includes increased happiness and a healthy heart . It slows down the ageing process and also enhances relationships and connections, which will indirectly boost your health.

Customize your course in 30 seconds

Which class are you in.

• Travelling Essay
• Picnic Essay
• Our Country Essay
• My Parents Essay
• Essay on Favourite Personality
• Essay on Memorable Day of My Life
• Essay on Knowledge is Power
• Essay on Gurpurab
• Essay on My Favourite Season
• Essay on Types of Sports

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Download the App

• Academic Writing / Essay Style / Online Writing Instruction / Teaching

Acts of Kindness: Narrative Writing

by Purdue Global Academic Success Center and Writing Center · Published December 13, 2013 · Updated December 9, 2013

Acts of Kindness

David Werner

December 1, 2013

Floyd, Lloyd, Elwood, Woodrow, and David are not historical figures, except in their native Ithaca, N.Y.; but David was my father the others my Uncles – all part of the generation who saved the world in WWII.

They were all just kids, some underage, when they volunteered for the Army Air Corp. and piloted everything from the B-17 and B-29 to the P-47 and P-51.  They flew more than 25 missions a piece as pilots and co-pilots; which far exceeded the Air Corp. standards.  The mortality rates of pilots jumped after just thirteen missions and it was almost a given that pilots flying more than 25 missions would not return.

In my book they were heroes and, as a kid, I remember hearing some of the stories.  Being a kid I especially liked the ones about them “pissing in their pants” as anti-aircraft fire was going off all around them.  It was funny to them too, since all five survived, but they never glamorized the war or thought of themselves as heroes.  There was a job to be done and they did it.

After the war they did what that generation was expected to do.  They came home, married, started families, and worked to support their families.  Even in peacetime, there was a job to be done and they did it.

My father, as many of that generation, was not openly emotional or affectionate.  He loved us and would do anything for his family, but in his own very quiet and humble way.

The only time I ever saw him break down was when my mother died.  He loved her so much and was so paralyzed by grief he could not function.  I was thirteen at the time, and the oldest, so it fell upon me make all of the funeral arrangements and to help in any way I could for the next month or so.  This time, there was a job to be done so I did it.

My father was capable of many acts of sacrifice and kindness.  Of course he never told me about them but I still hear stories about him today.

About a month ago I was standing in line at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription.  When it was my turn, I simply said “Pickup for Werner.”

This very old woman standing next to me turned and asked, “Are you Blanche’s boy?”  I told her I was and she told me how close she had been to my parents and that my father was the greatest man who ever lived.

By now, the rest of the crowd in line edged a bit closer to eavesdrop.

She went on to tell stories about my mother and father and finally asked me how I felt about my grandmother.

My grandmother was somewhat of a strict and overbearing woman who could cause a great deal of misery if she wanted to.

Once this woman, Helen, was satisfied she was not going to offend me, she almost yelled out in the store, “That Ethel could be a bitch!  Do you know your grandfather had to stop for a shot and a beer before he could go home and face her?”

After that there was no stopping her and she had certainly piqued my curiosity.  I, and the entire audience in the store, learned that one of my Uncles had fathered a number of illegitimate children both in Europe and here after the war, I apparently had numerous first cousins I was never aware of, my grandfather had a long term affair supposedly because of my grandmother, and my family history was filled with more than a few black sheep.

Now everyone, including the pharmacist, was waiting to hear what was coming next.

Helen became quiet and more introspective.  “You know,” she began, “Ethel (my mother’s mother) became very ill a few years after your mother died.”

I did remember she had a massive heart attack on the day my mother died and she was unable to attend the funeral.

“I think it was after you left for college, your father didn’t think he could care for her anymore so he was going to put her in a nursing home.”

This part I did not remember.  My grandmother was never in a nursing home.

“I remember that day,” Helen continued, “The day she was going in.  I helped your Dad get her into the car and saw them drive off.  Do you know what your father did?  He drove in through the gates of the nursing home.  He drove right past the entrance, continued around the circle, and came right back home.  He cared for Ethel for the rest of her life.”

Similar to many stories about my father, I had never heard this one before.

Growing up he would always tell us, “You are what you do, not what you say.”  He defined himself by that.  There was always a job to be done and he did it.

This is the beginning of a series of essays using the nine writing patterns of narrative , exemplification , compare/contrast , description , definition , process analysis , cause/effect , classification and division , and argumentation/persuasion .

Narrative, or narration , “wraps” the issue or thesis around a character or story.  “Acts of Kindness” is an example.  I could have written a well-researched essay about various and random acts of kindness; but which would have the desired emotional impact on an audience?  The truth is, I don’t know but I do know the audience is the final authority in terms of our work.

The writing pattern of description uses words to stimulate the senses and have the reader paint a mental picture of the scene.  Exemplification uses specific and detailed examples to clarify the thesis or argument.  Process analysis shows the audience how things work or how to do something.

To explain similarities and differences, we use the writing pattern of compare and contrast .  We spend most of our lives just trying to figure things out; and that’s when we use cause and effect analysis .  Definition gives new meaning to something misunderstood or previously unappreciated.  We use classification and division to group some things together and divide others into smaller categories.  And finally, we use argumentation and persuasion to find common ground with an opponent.

This Effective Writing Podcast discusses the role of Audience and Purpose in writing.

For the writer, these are the tools in our toolkit. For the reader, again the final authority, we can better serve them.  I ask my students at the beginning of each term to give us their definition of “ Effective Communication .”  They say things such as, “To better express myself,” “two people talking,” or “arguing back-and-forth.”

The real definition of Effective Communication is simply the art of being understood .

It’s not the audience’s job to figure out what we’re trying to “say.”  It’s our job to be understood.  And when we write an essay or story such as “Acts of Kindness,” it is not our job to show reality.  For most of us, the reality of our daily lives can be somewhat unpleasant.  No, it’s the writer’s job to show an interpretation of reality.  Let’s show the world what it can be like .

Share this:

• Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
• Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
• Click to print (Opens in new window)

Tags: Narrative narrative writing writing styles

• Next story  Teaching the Writing Process
• Previous story  Why Crafting a Thesis is Cultural

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Notify me of follow-up comments by email.

Notify me of new posts by email.

• Environment
• Information Science
• Social Issues
• Argumentative
• Cause and Effect
• Classification
• Compare and Contrast
• Descriptive
• Exemplification
• Informative
• Controversial
• Exploratory
• What Is an Essay
• Length of an Essay
• Generate Ideas
• Types of Essays
• Structuring an Essay
• Outline For Essay
• Essay Introduction
• Thesis Statement
• Body of an Essay
• Writing a Conclusion
• Essay Writing Tips
• Drafting an Essay
• Revision Process
• Fix a Broken Essay
• Format of an Essay
• Essay Examples
• Essay Checklist
• Essay Writing Service
• Pay for Research Paper
• Write My Research Paper
• Write My Essay
• Custom Essay Writing Service
• Admission Essay Writing Service
• Pay for Essay
• Academic Ghostwriting
• Write My Book Report
• Case Study Writing Service
• Dissertation Writing Service
• Coursework Writing Service
• Lab Report Writing Service
• Do My Assignment
• Buy College Papers
• Capstone Project Writing Service
• Buy Research Paper
• Custom Essays for Sale

Can’t find a perfect paper?

• Free Essay Samples

An Act of Kindness

Updated 23 April 2021

Subject Emotions ,  Identity

Downloads 73

Category Life ,  Sociology

Topic Community ,  Gender ,  Kindness

In my culture, the wisdom for a growing child is to be noble and supportive

In my culture, the wisdom for a growing child is to be noble and supportive when interacting with others in society, regardless of whether they are peers, families, or outsiders. An example that is often used is when an elderly person occupies a space or a bus with all seats filled. The younger person is required to give up his or her seat to make room for the elder.

Showing empathy, hospitality, and compassion

I have shown empathy, hospitality, and compassion to people of all backgrounds, regardless of gender, ethnicity, age, or any other cause. However, it is usually difficult to extend the same to a stranger who may be rude or condescending. While traveling to a nearby town to visit my aunt, I sat next to a boy in his late teenage years. Before boarding the bus, he had mistreated the ticketing agent who tried to help him find a suitable seat. He spent the rest of the time talking loudly on the phone. He would reply rudely to anyone who tried to tell him to lower his voice. I initiated a conversation on the bus but he was an unwilling participant and I kept quiet for the rest of the journey.

A surprising encounter

A few hours after alighting, I visited a restaurant where I found the boy with whom I had traveled. I noticed that he appeared distressed and quieter than I would have imagined based on his earlier behavior. I went and sat next to him and inquired if he was fine. He hardly wanted to talk but I chose to stay and find out if he needed help. I helped him to order a meal and paid for it. After having our lunch, he opened up and told me that his mother had been sick and that he had received the news of her death a few hours after our journey. He had visited the town in search of his father, whom he had hardly known. His parents had been separated for the greater part of his life. He was stranded because his mother had spent most of her savings on treatment and after her death, he had no choice but to look for his father in a bid to re-establish a relationship. I offered to escort him to his father's office, since he was a first-time visitor to the town.

Reasoning for Choosing the Specific Act

I witnessed the teenager, who had been a stranger, engaging in acts of rudeness with people around him regardless of their age or gender. The behavior had been against my core beliefs. Nevertheless, I offered to be kind and hospitable throughout our interaction because I had been taught to do so with everyone. Moreover, I had been in tough situations before in which I wished for someone to understand my frustration. Therefore, I thought it better to always assume that a person may act in unacceptable manners as a way to shut people out or as a protective mechanism against emotional attachments.

The Reaction of the Recipient

The teenager had been rude to me in the first instance of our interaction. Offering to pay for his lunch may have expressed my willingness to listen to him and offer assistance. This act may have encouraged him to open up to me and talk about the cause of his sadness. I helped him meet his father, who welcomed him. We exchanged contact information and have been friends since then.

My Experience with the Stranger

In extending an act of kindness to a stranger, I found ways in which I could help him deal with the loss of one of his parents and reconnect with the other. The knowledge that I had brought calmness to the boy was satisfactory emotionally. The act of assisting a stranger gave me a friend with whom I have been close long after the incident despite the nature of our first interaction. The importance of kindness is the psychological impact on the recipient. Their perception about people is changed from negativity towards optimism and positive interactions (Louvau 9).

It is the obligation of every individual to be virtuous and assistive to those around him or her. The reason for this is that different people may have problems that cause their hostility or lack of communication. Positive interaction helps a person who is going through bad situations to see a better side of humanity and have hope that their issues will be resolved. It may prevent a person with suicidal thoughts from proceeding with the act and may comfort one with the loss of a loved one. An act of kindness may be infectious, causing the person to adopt virtues of being friendly and open to interaction with others in the society. There are no negative consequences associated with it. Therefore, such acts should be encouraged within every society in order to develop better interpersonal relationships with people regardless of their relationships.

Works Cited

Louvau, Chaplain Charlie. Beyond Random Acts of Kindness. Xlibris Corporation, 2010.

Deadline is approaching?

Wait no more. Let us write you an essay from scratch

Related Essays

Related topics.

Find Out the Cost of Your Paper

Type your email

By clicking “Submit”, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy policy. Sometimes you will receive account related emails.

• Save your essays here so you can locate them quickly!
• Eiffel Tower

A Simple Act of Kindness 3 Pages 743 Words

             I believe that kindness is one of the most important human characteristics. It              is not that hard to say a simple 'thank you', and yet it can really change the outlook of              someone else's day. My sister once told me, "It takes more muscles to frown than to              smile." I have noticed that just being polite to the people around you can really make              the atmosphere around you more positive. I can think of a lot of examples of when              being polite has made things a little smoother, including one at the doctor's office,              another at the commissary, and another one on the metro train in Paris.              Yesterday, as I was heading to my appointment at the doctor's office, I entered              an elevator to go to the third floor where my doctor's office is located. As I entered the              elevator I pressed the button and waited for the door to close. I was running a few              minutes late and I was a little concerned that I would not make my appointment in              time. I noticed an old man enter the building and slowly make his way to the elevator.              Instead of allowing the elevator door to close on the old man, I held the door open              until the old man was able to board the elevator with me. Even though I was running              late for my appointment I went a little out of my way to help this old man. When he              entered the elevator he grinned and said, "thank you, young man." Even something as              small as holding the door open for the old man had a positive impact on his day.              Last week, I was standing in line at the commissary with my wife, when all of              a sudden some lady in front of me starting complaining to the cashier. Apparently, she              had not been able to find some of the products that she came looking for. In addition,              she yelled at the cashier for the poor selection of products, the long line to check out;              and even yelled at the cashier for the speed at which she was checking her ite              ...

Continue reading this essay Continue reading

Page 1 of 3

More Essays:

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Kindness — The Positive Impacts of the Acts of Kindness

The Positive Impacts of The Acts of Kindness

• Categories: Kindness

About this sample

Words: 447 |

Published: Oct 22, 2018

Words: 447 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Cite this Essay

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Prof Ernest (PhD)

Verified writer

• Expert in: Life

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

1 pages / 579 words

6 pages / 2744 words

4 pages / 1763 words

4.5 pages / 2031 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Kindness

At the heart of human interaction lies a fundamental truth: the impact of kindness and generosity transcends individual actions, shaping relationships, communities, and societies. This essay delves into the profound significance [...]

Thoughtful acts are small, yet powerful gestures that can have a profound impact on individuals and society as a whole. Whether it's a simple act of kindness, a generous donation, or a selfless gesture, thoughtful acts have the [...]

In conclusion, kindness has been a transformative force in my life. It has shaped my values, influenced my interactions with others, and broadened my perspective on the world. The experiences I have had, both as a recipient and [...]

Keywords: Langston Hughes,Woman,act of kindness Storyteller Aesop once quipped, “Any act of kindness, no matter how small, is never wasted.” This truth is illuminated in Langston Hughes’ short story, “Thank You Ma’am,” [...]

At Starbucks, I ordered a Vanilla Latte, and the person behind me had no clue that he would get a free cheesecake, and he is also a teacher at Jupiter High School. It felt very good just to make someone’s day for nothing in [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

• Share full article

Advertisement

Subscriber-only Newsletter

The Ethicist

Should i speak out when i overhear a person saying something hateful.

The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on taking a stand against homophobia and other forms of bigotry.

By Kwame Anthony Appiah

I was in a barbershop in a town west of the Mississippi and east of the Rockies. I didn’t hear what had been said before or what came after, but I suddenly heard another customer (quite calmly) say, “I just wish all homosexuals would be obliterated.” I’m gay and have had nightmares about being in a concentration camp because of my sexuality. Hearing those words said out loud froze my blood. I didn’t make a scene, just sat and pondered it all for a minute, then got up and walked out. I didn’t want to knowingly breathe the same air as someone speaking the language of Nazis. Should I have spoken out? — Name Withheld

From the Ethicist:

Some years ago, I was in Budapest at one of those “ruin bars” that pop up there in odd corners, and one of my drinking companions — a person with intertwined literary and civil rights careers — suddenly stood up and made his way over to a table of young men. He had been a dissident under Hungary’s Communist regime, and was something of a dissident under its current Fidesz party government. Not knowing Hungarian, I can only characterize his tone: reproving, but not antagonistic. He explained, when he returned, that he’d overheard one of the young men using a slur for gay people, and that he made a habit of correcting his compatriots whenever he heard them speaking contemptuously about gays, or Jews, or Romani, or another such disfavored group, none of which he was personally a member of. These “teaching moments” happened quite a lot, and, though I don’t know that he was ever slugged in response, he would not have been discouraged if he were. That’s the sort of person he was.

As I look back, it’s clear I wouldn’t have found what he did so admirable if I thought he was doing merely the moral minimum — fulfilling what was required of him. I don’t think one is obliged to confront everyone who says reprehensible things. I do think it would be better if more of us did so. So you didn’t have a duty to call out the guy. But if you judged it was safe to do so, you might, as you were leaving, have simply pointed out that there are gay people — and people who care about someone who’s gay — everywhere you go, and that it was a bad idea to assume he wouldn’t be overheard by one of them. Even if he wanted to be overheard, there are tactical advantages to invoking social norms as a proxy for moral condemnation. Of course, it would have been good if a straight person had spoken up, too. Enforcing norms of basic decency helps challenge the atmosphere of homophobia; in this case, it might have undermined the speaker’s confidence that he had conversational permission to wish for the obliteration of millions of human beings. My Hungarian dissident, for all his charm and persistence, knew he wasn’t going to change the customs of his country by himself. Still, people like him make the world just a little bit kinder.

A Bonus Question

Once, I was involved with an organization whose elected president was being undermined by a small but loud faction. Eventually, emails identified the troublemakers and revealed that they were actively sabotaging the president. Those people were expelled. The problem is that the president obtained these emails unethically.

A similar event occurred when a friend of mine was caught sexting. His partner found out because he had secretly obtained my friend’s passwords and had been monitoring his online activity for two years! I know illegally obtained evidence is inadmissible in court, but in real life, is there ever a justification? — Name Withheld

In general, an invasion of someone’s rights — in this case to privacy — doesn’t become justified by having good results. Sure, there can be complicated cases where rights are in conflict, and one must give way; we have legal procedures in place that, in carefully stipulated conditions, allow for this. But there’d be no point in moral rights if they could be overridden whenever anyone thought something beneficial would ensue. (Organizations typically reserve the right to review communications processed by their email system, though, ethically speaking, they should do so only for good and stated reasons. I’m guessing this wasn’t the scenario you’re describing, however.)

What’s mainly striking about the couple’s case? There was obviously something wrong in the relationship if one party was spying on the other like that. A partnership so lacking in trust, respect and honesty is hardly a partnership. Sexting someone outside the couple was presumably a violation of the understanding they had as well. So they both had reasons to feel betrayed.

I just hope that the fellow monitoring the other fellow’s digital activity doesn’t feel vindicated in his Stasi sideline. Between the spying and the sexting, I’d have to say that the spying was worse. It was a premeditated and ongoing betrayal of the partner’s privacy — a corrosive pattern of disrespect and deceit. The sexting was no doubt a breach of trust, and a hurtful one, but it was a particular action that may not represent an ongoing attitude of disrespect for the other person. The candor and intimacy characteristic of a loving relationship cannot be secured through surveillance.

Readers Respond

The previous question was from a reader who was discomfited by a stranger’s gift. She wrote: “While checking out groceries at a supermarket, I realized my $120 in cash might not suffice and asked the cashier to stop tallying before $120. When I reached $119, an unknown woman approached the cashier and said she wanted to cover the orphaned groceries. I hesitated but ultimately agreed. After paying, she took off. I retrieved the $120 from my purse, only to be informed by the cashier that the woman had paid the entire $133 bill. I dashed out of the store to inform her of the error, but she insisted she’d intended to pay the entire bill. … I was shocked and embarrassed. I’m wondering about the ethics of Random Acts of Kindness. This generous woman had the appearance of someone who needed that money to pay for necessities more than I needed it at checkout. Should I have declined her offer?”

In his response, the Ethicist noted: “You recall feeling ‘shocked and embarrassed’ — was this because you think you were mistaken for being poor, and you believe there’s something dishonorable about this condition? Or were you simply concerned, more honorably, that someone worse off than you burdened herself on your behalf? It’s entirely possible that this woman did mistake you for a person in need (most shoppers have a credit card in their wallet); it’s also possible she just felt like being generous. She’s an adult who’s entitled to make her own decisions. You seem highly confident in your ability to size up people’s financial situation from their personal appearance. Are you really so certain that she’s unable to do the same? Sometimes the greatest gift we can give people is to accept their gift graciously.” (Reread the full question and answer here .)

I concur with the Ethicist’s response that accepting a gift graciously can be a meaningful gesture. However, in this particular situation, I believe that paying it forward would be a more impactful gesture. It is a privilege to be in a position where financial assistance is unnecessary. If the letter writer feels uneasy about accepting the gift, she should consider donating the amount to a charity, cause or even to someone in need. Rather than feeling embarrassed or ashamed, she should view this opportunity as a chance to spread kindness in a world that is in dire need of it. It is often said that the giver receives more blessings than the receiver. I encourage her to consider using the extra $133 she now has, thanks to the kindness of a stranger, to pay it forward and make a positive impact on someone else’s life. — Stefanie

Right on to that last paragraph about the importance of accepting a gift graciously. Such gestures convey all sorts of meanings, not altogether comforting for recipients. We ought to shed the psychological baggage that inhibits us from recognizing such acts as the simple generosities that they are and responding with the simple “Thank you” that they deserve. — Charles

For the letter writer, who worried that her benefactor looked like she might have needed the money herself: I’m 80, rarely buy new clothes, wear no makeup, have a plain utilitarian haircut and do not own a car. These are all choices based on necessity as well as intention to live simply. When I can help someone out, it brings me joy. — Gabi

In my favorite book, Betty Smith’s “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,” Katie Nolan allows her daughter Francie to have coffee three times a day, even though Katie knows Francie doesn’t like the taste and will never drink it. She protects Francie’s right to waste something, to know she’s free to toss it down the drain even though the Nolan family doesn’t have a penny to spare. I agree with the Ethicist. The letter writer can’t know the benevolent woman’s circumstances. Some very wealthy people wear humble, even tattered clothing in public — I happen to know a few. If she is well off, the giver may have felt obliged to help someone in a financial fix. Or, if the generous donor is as cash-poor as her appearance suggests, she may have wanted the feeling of tossing the money at someone who needed it right then, without regard to her own needs. Whether it turns out the act was wasteful is, I suppose, dependent on whether the recipient continues to question its fitness, or whether she simply accepts it gracefully, regardless of the giver’s motives. — Jean

This is a beautifully stated answer. The letter writer would do well to remember that we are of a whole community and that to give freely to one’s neighbor without the need to size them up as worthy or unworthy is the ultimate act of generosity to oneself. Ten years on, I still treasure the memory of paying for a child’s pile of books. She had excitedly chosen the titles from the library’s secondhand room, and her mother had come up short. Why spoil that memory for someone with a lot of unnecessary noise? — Ruth

Kwame Anthony Appiah is The New York Times Magazine’s Ethicist columnist and teaches philosophy at N.Y.U. His books include “Cosmopolitanism,” “The Honor Code” and “The Lies That Bind: Rethinking Identity.” To submit a query: Send an email to [email protected]. More about Kwame Anthony Appiah

The Ethicist’s Answers to Your Moral Quandaries

Kwame anthony appiah helps us handle the tricky situations that put our values to the test..

As a Scientist, What Should I Do About My Mother’s Alternative-Medicine Views? When reconciling two very different belief systems between family members, the aim should be not conversion to a single view but mere toleration .

Do I Owe a Boss Who Harassed Me Credit for Past Work? Professional peers won’t know about a private situation, and some may see your failure to mention the collaboration as misleading or even dishonest .

Is It Wrong to Go to a Guys-Only Night? The social significance of gender is such that single-gender gatherings can sometimes offer something that their members  legitimately value.

With Unequal Incomes, How Should We Divvy Assets in the Divorce? : An “equitable distribution” might be to be an agreeable one .

Are People Who Read Magazines at the Bookstore Stealing?: Maybe the real question is: What does the store think ?

Is Shoplifting OK if the Shop Owner Is Awful?: How bad a theft is depends on how it affects the welfare of others .

To submit a question to the Ethicist, send an email to [email protected].  To receive advice directly in your inbox, sign up for the Ethicist newsletter .