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Wedding Vows Outline

Tips for writing wedding vows, how to start wedding vows, words ending in vow, ways to personalize wedding vows, wedding vows template, wedding vows examples.

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How to Write Wedding Vows (Examples And Template)

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Have you and your fiance decided to write your own wedding vows? Are you unsure of how to get started? The following article will discuss how to write wedding vows. As well, we will provide you with examples of different types of wedding vows.

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Brides Often Ask

What are wedding vows.

They are a lifetime pledge to commit your heart and your life fully to your partner. You can use traditional vows or compose your own and speak from the heart.

Who says vows first – man or woman?

Traditionally, the groom will say his vows first. But the bride can go first or both can say the vows in unison. The order is not as important as the spoken vow itself. However, it is important to decide whom will go first before the ceremony, to avoid any awkwardness.

How Long Should Wedding Vows Be?

That is a very good question. Of course, you want to be able to express your love for your partner and you could probably go on for hours. However, it is wise to keep your vows to around two minutes max.

The wedding ceremony itself will probably run around thirty minutes including the blessing, the ring ceremony, etc. So both you and your partner should take about 2 minutes each for your vows to keep with the pace of the ceremony. Remember, you will have the rest of your lives together to express your love.

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When composing your wedding vows, the first thing to remember is that you should speak from the heart. However, trying to put this on paper might be challenging for some. Following is a guide for wedding vow structure to you overcome your fears and doubts. Keep in mind that this is a guide and you can alter it to make it more personal.

• Take a look back at your relationship

You can start with words that capture the beautiful memories of your relationship.

Example: “I know this is true because the moment you walked up to me on the beach that day, you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen!”

• Share sentimental qualities

Express the good qualities you always see in your partner.

Example: “There are too many qualities to mention. You are extremely thoughtful,with you, every day is special. You keep me on my toes with your happy-go-lucky attitude.”

• “I love you because…”

Express the reasons why you love your partner.

Example: “I love you because you make me laugh even when I’m sad. You don’t dare leave me even when I’m mad.”

• Make a few promises

In conclusion, recite your promises to your partner.

Example: “I, Brian, take you, Caitlin, to be my wife. “To love forever, as long as I have breath. To be yours as long as we shall live.”

50 Best Wedding Readings For Your Ceremony

When writing your own wedding vows, you must structure them in a way that flows seamlessly. See the ultimate wedding vow tips below.

• Begin by stating what your partner means to you Name what they represent in your life. They could be a lover, friend, confidant, and all.
• State what it is you love most about them Why did you decide to spend forever with your partner? What’s that trait(s) that turns you on and assures you that you’ve chosen right?
• Tell a story Bring this love to life by illustrating it in a story. A memorable personal and intimate story you can’t forget.
• Make promises and personalize them Promise your spouse that you’ll always be with them. Be specific about the things you hope to do with your spouse. Learn the art of personalizing wedding vows by throwing in some humor or romance.
• Reassure and show eagerness to the future Promise your partner once again that you’ll be there no matter what life brings. Remind them that you are ready to walk into the future with them. Tell them that you have a lot of wins to experience together.
• Wrap up with one last promise about never parting till death.

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If you are still unsure how to start wedding vows, remember that you are speaking to the person with whom you are spending the rest of your life. Sure, your friends and family will hear you exchange your vows. But they are really only for you and your fiancé. Start off by telling them how much they mean to you. If you are both enjoy humor, you can start off with a joke, or include a funny story of you as a couple. Keep it personal and to the point.

Sara, we have known each other since we were toddlers. Our parents used to joke about us getting married, but we both thought they were crazy. Then one day, in our teens, I fell in love with you. And I knew at that moment that they were right.

kreativwedding via Instagram

Still, unsure of what you want to say in your vows to make them stand out? You could always include words ending in a vow. “I make this my solemn vow” “Today I pledge my love to you in this sacred vow.” This will help give you some inspiration to use as a starting point.

Connor, I today I pledge my love eternal. I will love you every second of every day. My every thought shall be of you and our life together. I will love you until the day I die. Let this be my solemn vow!

Personalizing wedding vows is perhaps one of the best ways to make your vows memorable. You don’t just want to ramble on endlessly or sound as though you are reciting a rehearsed speech. Again, the key to writing your own wedding vows is to speak from your heart.

Following are some ways you can personalize your wedding vows. Don’t be afraid to be happy if you are a hopeless romantic. But we have also included some examples of non-sappy wedding vows quotes for him .

• Use humor: Start off with a funny story from your relationship, maybe about how you met. Again, you don’t want to embarrass your partner so if you are not sure whether they want you to share a certain story, you should ask them first.
• Use song lyrics: Do the two of you have a certain song that symbolizes your relationship? You can quote a line or two from that song in your vows and explain the significance of the lyrics.
• Use movie (or television) quotes: Are you both a fan of romantic movies? Do you have a favorite movie quote that sums up your relationship or is meaningful to you as a couple? Incorporate this into your vows. If you can’t think of a movie, you can quote a line from your favorite television show as a couple.
• Use literature: Are either of you poetry buffs? Quote a few lines from your favorite love poem. Or recite a passage from your favorite novel. Just make sure that is the line that your partner will understand.

If you are still stuck, you can search for vow quotes online, or paraphrase one of the examples we have provided in this article for inspiration.

I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.

11 Wedding Ceremony Outlines (Bonus: Free Templates)

Look at this wedding vows template-free as a simple guideline, not as rules set in stone.

1. What marriage means to you

Think about what marriage means to you, the reason you have chosen to be with this person, and put it in words. You can include your favorite line from a song, poem, or book.

2. Reference your relationship

Look back on your relationship and the important moments and milestones that you had together. Perhaps the first time you met, your first kiss or first fight. Or even the moment you knew that your partner was the one. Incorporate this in your vows.

3. Be sentimental

This is where you really get in touch with your feelings. Talk about the great qualities of your partner that bring out the best in you, and how this matches with your qualities. Compliment your partner like never before.

4. “I Love You Because…”

This is a great phrase to start this part of your vows with. Here you can indicate all of the reasons you love your partner. All the reasons you have chosen to spend forever with them.

5. Make the promises

Whether it’s serious, funny, or sentimental. You know the promises you are making to your partner. End your vows by reciting these promises and promising that they will be forever.

Traditional Wedding Vow Template

The timeless nature of traditional wedding vows makes them sturdy templates across races, cultures, and beliefs. See some examples below.

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife/husband; to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always

In the presence of God and these our friends, I take thee to be my wife/husband, promising with divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

I vow you the first cut of my meat, the first sip of my wine, from this day it shall only your name I cry out in the night and into your eyes that I smile each morning; I shall be a shield for your back as you are for mine, not shall a grievous word be spoken about us, for our marriage is sacred between us and no stranger shall hear my grievance. Above and beyond this, I will cherish and honor you through this life and into the next.

Funny Surprise Wedding Vows

For funny surprise wedding vows, take your partner totally unawares. Give a hint of stories you’d likely share and see that it’s okay by them. But think outside the box and add some humor. Make them laugh while telling them they mean the world to you.

I promise not to hog the remote control or force you to watch chick flicks unless I then agree to watch an action movie in exchange.

Dear _____, I promise to put the toilet seat down, listen to gossip about the neighbors and not ignore you when the Lakers are playing.

I promise not to hide when your parents come over. I vow not to steal the covers at night and not to turn the heat up too high

Wedding Vows For A Long-Term Relationship

Writing wedding vows for a long-term relationship can be quite overwhelming. For whatever reasons both of you waited to get married, your love sustained you. Your love brought you this far and it’s one to celebrate. Talks about the highs and lows, the wins, and how much you’re meant to be. Make promises to stay together forever. The same goes for anniversaries. How far you’ve come is a reason to celebrate.

Today marks 50 years since we first said: “I do.” We built a home together, raised our children and watched them raise theirs. We laughed, we cried, and we survived many hurdles together as a couple. As I look into your eyes, I still see the young man who was quite scared to ask me to the movies. I am so glad I said yes then and I will continue to say yes for the rest of our lives!

We have been together through thick and thin. We started dating in high school, stayed together while we both attended separate colleges, and then spend a year pursuing our careers. Now, we are finally joining our lives together to live out everything we have planned for years. It was worth the wait because we are going to have the perfect marriage and spend the rest of our days together as husband and wife.

Wedding Vows For Him

Whether you’re learning how to make wedding vows or you’re getting inspired by a source, personalize it. Pick out something that relays your message while representing the bare essence of your love. Our wedding vows examples are the perfect template. Use as s or modify to suit.

I vow to make my life forever yours and build my dreams around you.

Dear _____, I promise to be the man that I see now in your eyes, today, tomorrow, and for always.

I vow to always protect you from harm, to stand with you against your troubles, and look to you when I need protection

Wedding Vows For Her

It’s your wedding and you want to serenade your partner with a vow that’s unforgettable. Take inspiration from books, literature, movies, or just cook up yours. It’s also fine to get sentimental without sounding cheesy. Bottom line is to make it come straight from the heart. The examples below will inspire you.

I promise to laugh with you and to laugh at myself.

You are the love of my life and I am proud to marry you. I promise to support your dreams and to be there for you for all eternity.

I vow to be a loving and devoted wife, without judgment, without scorn, but always with an open heart and mind

We hope that you have found some inspiration and guidance with our advice on how to write wedding vows. Remember, these are your wedding vows so don’t let anyone else influence you. Speak from the heart and you will be fine!

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The Wedding Vows Template You Totally Need (Admit It)

We know that finding the right words to recite is NOT the easiest feat, so we've put together a wedding vows template to help you write the most memorable words.

Amanda Hedgepeth Photography

With over one-third of couples writing their own wedding vows, it’s something you and your partner should consider. If you’re not the best at writing your deepest feelings (who is?) you might need a wedding vows template to help get you started—and that’s totally okay. Using guidelines for your wedding vow structure isn’t cheating—it’s just helping you organize your thoughts in an effective way, so that you’ll be comfortable and confident in front your family members and friends on the big day.

Check out our easy, five-step wedding vows template to get started creating something meaningful and personal for your ceremony.

Step one: be timeless with a twist.

When it comes to this wedding vows template, we recommend starting out by talking about what marriage means to you . Consider including one of your favorite lines from a book, poem, or song as part of your wedding vow structure. Keep this part short, but allow it to introduce the fact that you’re here to marry your beloved. Example: I, Brian, take you, Caitlin, to be my wife. “You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough.” - George Moore

Step Two: Reference Some Relationship Highlights

Now it’s time to take a look back at your relationship. How long have you been together? Three years, six years, maybe even more? Try to recall all of those relationship “firsts” you experienced together as a team: the first time you got the courage to call, the first time you went on a dinner date, the first time you held hands, the first time you brought your better half home to meet your folks , the first time you actually argued (and apologized), and the first time you talked about forever. A wedding vows template is not complete without sharing some memorable moments from throughout your relationship. Example: I know this is true because the moment you walked up to me on the beach during Memorial Day, you brought butterflies to my stomach that never left—literally!

Porterhouse Los Angeles

Step Three: Share Sentimental Qualities

If you're writing your wedding vows, talk about how your partner brings out the best in you , and vice versa (you can brag a bit here if you desire!). For example, one person might possess a quiet, shy demeanor, while the other might possess a louder, outgoing demeanor. Compliment your beloved on all the ways they have made you who you are in this world. Example: There are too many qualities that come to my mind. One, you are extremely thoughtful. You treat every day like it is a special occasion to celebrate with cake and cupcakes. Two, you are extremely faithful. You would not hurt a fly. And three, you are extremely adventurous. You keep me on my toes with your happy-go-lucky attitude.

Step Four: Include "I Love You Because..."

You could shout these three words from the rooftop a lot: “I LOVE YOU!”—so it’s a must in this wedding vows template. If you are searching for a little inspiration, we recommend picking up a copy of What I Love About You By Me by Knock Knock. It contains fun fill-in-the-blank lines to help you describe your affection at the altar. Example: I love you because you make me laugh when you clean. Despite my messiness, I am thankful that you keep our home lemon-breeze scented. You are always prepared to whip out a Lysol wipe in times of need.

Step Five: Make Your Promises

Before you seal the deal will a smooch, make a few promises for the future. You might be (barely) holding back tears by the end of your exchange, so feel free to add a bit of humor  to your wedding vow structure if you'd like! Example: I promise to give you the remote on the days you want to watch The Real Housewives of New York, I promise to let you sneak a box of Cheez-Its as a late-night snack, and I promise to let you go to bed early like a grandma, even on the weekends.

Related WeddingWire Articles

A Guide to Wedding Vows: How to Write Your Own

Writing your own wedding vows is one of the best ways to add a romantic and intimate touch to your wedding day. We’ll guide you through the process from start to finish, plus provide templates to help you get started.

By Emily Forrest and Rachel Varina

Inside this Article:

Traditional vow examples

Catholic wedding vows, eastern orthodox wedding vows, hindu wedding vows, interfaith wedding vows, jewish wedding vows, nondenominational wedding vows, muslim wedding vows, protestant wedding vows, presbyterian wedding vows, methodist wedding vows, baptist wedding vows, lutheran wedding vows, episcopal wedding vows, quaker wedding vows, universalist/unitarian wedding vows, buddhist wedding vows, native american wedding vows, how to write your own wedding vows, wedding vows frequently asked questions.

Trying to decide whether to write your own wedding vows or use a traditional template? What couples read during their marriage ceremony is a deeply personal choice. The good news is that there’s no wrong answer! Writing your own vows or adding unique touches to an existing set is a great way to personalize your ceremony , while traditional vows will always be timeless.

To give you a helping hand, we’ve added traditional and personalized examples of wedding vows from different religions and cultures. And if you’re planning to write your own, we’ve included a step-by-step guide to help from start to finish. Let’s begin!

Traditional wedding vows follow a specific format that varies by religion. Reciting the wedding vows (or their equivalent) symbolizes the moment when the couple commits themselves to each other and forms a married union.

Couples can recite different religious wedding vows in a variety of ways:

• Spoken as monologue, one at a time.
• Spoken first by the officiant then repeated back, in phrases, one after the other.
• Asked as a question by the officiant to each person getting married, with the reply “I do” or “I will.”

In Catholic ceremonies, the priest asks the couple three questions. They answer “yes” or “I will.” They then recite one of the sets of vows below.

• __and __, have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?
• Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
• Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
• I, __, take you, __, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part.
• I, __, take you, __, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.

These vows are typically only recited in traditional Russian ceremonies, as other branches of the Orthodox church call for silent vows or prayers.

I, __, take you, __, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honor and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints.

The closest thing to traditional “vows” in a Hindu wedding ceremony are the Seven Steps (the Saptha Padhi), which the couple take together around a flame to honor the fire god Agni while reciting the following promises:

• Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.
• Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers.
• Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.
• Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.
• Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children.
• Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.
• Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock.
• I,___, take you, ___, to be my wife/husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life.
• I, ____, take you, ____, to be my wife/husband. To love and cherish, from this day forward, and thereto, I pledge you my trust—for as long as we both shall live.
• ___, I now take you to be my wedded wife/husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy relationship of marriage. I promise to love and comfort you, honor and keep you, and forsaking all others, I will be yours alone as long as we both shall live.

Jewish wedding ceremonies vary from rabbi to rabbi, and between Orthodox, Reform, and Conservative synagogues. Traditionally there are no spoken vows. The exchange of rings is the moment that symbolizes the couple’s commitment to each other. Two prayers are commonly said during the ring exchange—one more religious and one more contemporary:

• Haray at mekudeshet lee beh-taba'at zo keh-dat Moshe veh-Yisrael. (English translation: Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.)
• Ani leh-dodee veh-dodee lee. (English translation: I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine.)

In addition to the ring exchange, many Jewish ceremonies also include the Seven Blessings (Sheva Berakhot), which the rabbi will recite. Here’s a translation from Hebrew:

• Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, gladden the beloved companions as You gladdened Your creatures in the garden of Eden. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who gladdens this couple. Blessed are You, Adonai, our God, Ruler of the universe, Who created joy and gladness, loving couples, mirth, glad song, pleasure, delight, love, loving communities, peace, and companionship. Adonai, our God, let there soon be heard ... the voice of the loving couple, the sound of the their jubilance from their canopies and of the youths from their song-filled feasts. Blessed are You Who causes the couple to rejoice, one with the other.
• We bless God for creating joy and happiness, bride and groom, mirth song, gladness and rejoicing, love and harmony, peace and companionship; and we thank God for letting this bride and groom to rejoice together.
• I, __, take you, __, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.
• __, I take you as my wife/husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life.
• I, __, choose you __ to be my husband/wife, to respect you in your successes and in your failures, to care for you in sickness and in health, to nurture you, and to grow with you throughout the seasons of life.
• I, __ give to you, __ my vow of sacred matrimony. I acknowledge our individuality and respect the natural space that will reside comfortably between us. I promise to bridge that space with open communication, silent understanding and heartfelt compassion. I promise to act loving so as to be loving. I promise to love passionately, argue fairly and support you unfailingly. I gladly accept the responsibilities that come with our relationship. I love you and pledge my fidelity all the days of our lives.

Rather than reciting vows, most Muslim couples listen to their officiant (also known as an imam, or cleric) speak about the significances and responsibilities that come with marriage, including their commitment to each other and to Allah. But for those couples who do choose to speak their own vows, they recite something similar to this common passage:

• Bride: I, __ offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife.
• Groom: I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband.

While different denominations within the Protestant church have slight variations in their traditional wedding vows, they are all similar to the following basic example. These vows might be the most familiar to many people.

I, __ , take thee, __ , to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith.

I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife in plenty and in want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live.

Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?

In the name of God, I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

Will you, __ , have __ to be your wife/husband? Will you love her/him, comfort and keep her/him, and forsaking all others remain true to her/him, as long as you both shall live?

I, __ , take thee, to be my wife/husband, and before God and these witnesses I promise to be a faithful and true husband/wife.

I, __ , take you, to be my (wife/husband), and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world, and God; through the best and worst of what is to come, and as long as we live.

I take you, __ , to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.

In the name of God, I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

__ , wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wedded wife/husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him? Comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live?

In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee, __ , to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live.

The Unitarian Universalist Church allows its ministers to have their own control in writing wedding ceremonies, including the vows. Most will be similar to traditional Christian vows; here are some variations.

• I, __ , take you, __ , to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish always.
• __ , will you have this woman/man, __ , to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage, will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?
• __ and __ , do you pledge to help each other develop and strengthen your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, enthusiasm, patience, concentration and wisdom as you encounter the inevitable changes, expected and unexpected, welcome and unwelcome in your journey through life together?
• __ , will you take __ as your wife/husband, will you pledge to share your life openly with her/him, to speak the truth to her/him, in love? Will you promise to honor and tenderly care for her/him, to encourage her/him fulfillment as an individual through all the changes in your lives?

In a Buddhist wedding ceremony, the couple is making a higher pledge to truth, and thus may create their own wedding vows that reflect their pledge to reach this Truth together. After reciting the first prayer together or reading it silently, the couple then replies to the vows in unison when prompted by the wedding officiant.

Buddhist wedding prayer

Today we promise to dedicate ourselves completely to each other with body, mind and speech. In every situation of this life, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or difficulty, we will work to help each other to develop our hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom. As we undergo the various ups and downs of life we will seek to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity. The purpose of our relationship will be to attain enlightenment by perfecting our kindness and compassion towards all beings.

• ____ and ____, do you pledge to help each other to develop your hearts and minds, cultivating compassion, generosity, ethics, patience, enthusiasm, concentration and wisdom as you age and undergo the various ups and downs of life and to transform them into the path of love, compassion, joy and equanimity?
• Recognizing that the external conditions in life will not always be smooth and that internally your own minds and emotions will sometimes get stuck in negativity. Do you pledge to see all these circumstances as a challenge to help you grow, to open your hearts, to accept yourselves, and each other; and to generate compassion for others who are suffering? Do you pledge to avoid becoming narrow, closed or opinionated, and to help each other to see various sides of situations?
• Understanding that just as we are a mystery to ourselves, each other person is also a mystery to us. Do you pledge to seek to understand yourselves, each other, and all living beings, to examine your own minds continually and to regard all the mysteries of life with curiosity and joy?
• Do you pledge to preserve and enrich your affection for each other, and to share it with all beings? To take the loving feelings you have for one another and your vision of each other's potential and inner beauty as an example and rather than spiraling inwards and becoming self absorbed, to radiate this love outwards to all beings?
• When it comes time to part, do you pledge to look back at your time together with joy-- joy that you met and shared what you have--and acceptance that we cannot hold on to anything forever?
• Do you pledge to remember the disadvantages of ignorance, anger and clinging attachment, to apply antidotes when these arise in your minds, and to remember the kindness of all other beings and your connection to them? Do you pledge to work for the welfare of others, with all of your compassion, wisdom and skill?
• Do you pledge to work to develop the wisdom understanding the relative functioning nature of things and the wisdom knowing their deeper way of existence that they are empty of inherent existence? And to remember the laws of cause and effect?
• Do you pledge day to day, to be patient with yourselves and others, knowing that change comes slowly and gradually, and to seek inspiration from your teachers not to become discouraged?
• Do you pledge to continuously strive to remember your own Buddha nature, as well as the Buddha nature of all living beings? To maintain the awareness that all things are temporary, and to remain optimistic that you can achieve your greatest potential and lasting happiness.

Most traditional Native American weddings do not contain a vow exchange, but the following wedding blessings are read aloud to the couple.

Apache wedding blessing

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth to the other. Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years, May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth. Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

Cherokee wedding blessing

God in heaven above please protect the ones we love. We honor all you created as we pledge our hearts and lives together. We honor mother-earth - and ask for our marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons; We honor fire - and ask that our union be warm and glowing with love in our hearts; We honor wind - and ask we sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms; We honor water - to clean and soothe our relationship - that it may never thirst for love; With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony and true happiness as we forever grow young together. Amen.

Shoshone wedding blessing

Fair is the white star of twilight, and the sky clearer at the day's end, but she is fairer, and she is dearer She, my heart's friend. Fair is the white star of twilight, and the moon roving to the sky's end; but she is fairer, better worth loving She, my heart's friend.

Inuit wedding blessing

You are my husband/wife My feet shall run because of you My feet shall dance because of you My heart shall beat because of you My eyes see because of you My mind thinks because of you And I shall love because of you.

Knowing where to start when writing your vows might be the toughest part. When staring at a blank sheet of paper, just getting a few words down can feel like a huge hurdle. You might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself to write the perfect set of sentences, considering your personal wedding vows are a reflection of your marriage and the promises you intend to keep for the rest of your days.

Katelyn, a fellow wedding expert and professional vow and speechwriter , suggests starting by describing your first impression of your fiancé. "This a nice way to begin your vows. Next, how do you want to make your spouse feel? Your answer can help inspire some of your specific promises. And lastly, what makes you most excited for your future? These details are a great way to end your vows.”

If you’re stuck getting started, follow these 11 steps to get your creative and romantic ideas flowing:

1. Start writing early

Do yourself a favor and give yourself plenty of time (this is a point we cannot stress enough). You may have months until your wedding day, but this is a task you don’t want to save for the last minute. By starting early, you’ll give yourself plenty of time to overcome any nervousness or writer’s block, revise your first draft, and practice reading vows aloud before your big day.

2. Establish your tone

Before you start writing, establish what sort of tone you want your wedding vows to have. Your marriage vows should reflect your personality, whether that’s quirky and romantic or more tear-prone and sentimental. Or maybe you’d rather keep your vows light and humorous. It doesn’t matter what style you choose; just make sure the tone for your personal wedding vows makes you happy and excited to share your words with your future spouse on your big day.

3. Seek out inspiration

Love is one of those confounding topics that humans grapple with constantly. How can we describe how love feels? How can we capture it through words? What does it mean to be in love? Thankfully, over the past few centuries, many famous poets, writers, playwrights, and screenwriters have come very, very close to getting to the heart of those questions through beautiful, relatable, and transcendent works of art.

Don’t let these resources go to waste when battling writer’s block or struggling to put your feelings down on paper. If there was ever a time to return to your favorite pieces of literature or beloved films, it’s now. Once you find something that speaks to you, try to mimic that sentiment in your own words or quote it verbatim in your personalized wedding vows.

4. Talk to your partner

Sit down and have a heartfelt talk with your fiancé(e) about your relationship, your feelings for each other, and your marriage goals. Discuss what you want your ceremony to feel like and how you’d like your relationship to be portrayed in front of friends and family. You might remind each other of special or defining moments in your relationship, or even come up with the very words you’ve been struggling to find.

5. Reflect alone

After your talk with your fiancé(e), find time to be alone and reflect on that conversation. Tackle the big questions, such as how he/she makes you feel, what inspires you about him/her, and how he/she has made a positive impact on your life. This is no easy task (hence why we recommend starting this process early), but once articulated, your responses will give you lots of material for your vows. A little bit of quiet meditation might just reveal the language you’ve been carrying deep in your heart.

6. Take trips down memory lane

Think back on special moments with your spouse-to-be, beyond some of the obvious ones like when you first met or your first kiss. What was the first trip you took together? When did you first make each other laugh so hard you cried? Think of your private jokes, hilarious stories, and even embarrassing moments. Whether or not you choose to mention these memories in your vows, remembering them will absolutely help you define what makes your relationship—and, thus, your vows—unique.

7. Don’t worry about what others think

When you start writing your own vows, it’s easy to wonder (and worry) what others will think about what you have to say. “Will guests think our inside jokes are dumb?” “Will they get bored if we go on too long?” “Will Grandma and Grandpa judge us for foregoing traditional vows?” We know it’s hard not to take your guests into account after addressing and sending all those save the dates, but your ceremony is no one’s but yours and your partner’s. Let your personal vows reflect who you are together and what you want to celebrate about your relationship.

8. Create an outline

Without organization, your personalized wedding vows can easily turn into stream-of-consciousness rambling. Stay on track by crafting a brief outline that will organize your thoughts chronologically or thematically and ensure your vows have a clear beginning and end.

Something as simple as the following will do just fine:

• Intro: funny anecdote
• Your thoughts/feelings when you first met your partner
• Your thoughts/feelings when you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him/her
• What those feelings mean to you today
• Where you see your relationship going after your wedding day

9. Keep it short and sweet

When it comes to the perfect wedding vows, often less is more. Don’t feel pressured to write lengthy vows when a few short, from-the-heart thoughts can be just as moving. After you’ve finished writing, it’s a great idea to practice speaking your vows aloud while timing yourself. If you go over two minutes, try cutting them back. We know 120 seconds doesn’t seem like much time, but when it comes to speaking in public, that minute will last a whole lot longer than you expect.

10. Include sincere and meaningful promises

Wedding vows are, in essence, a list of promises that you make to your partner. Whether it’s loving him/her always or guaranteeing that you’ll do the dishes every Monday and Wednesday night, your vows should incorporate every specific promise you swear to uphold, and demonstrate the sacrifices you are willing to make as an equal half of your union.

11. Share them with a loved one

We also recommend sharing a draft of your vows with someone you trust, such as the wedding officiant or someone close to you. This lets them assess the overall tone, approach, and length of both of your vows. After all, you wouldn’t want to share all the same anecdotes as your SO.

12. Think to the future

In addition to making promises, make sure that your vows also include a look to the future of your relationship. Where will you go from “I do?” What do you expect or want your marriage to look like a year from now? Fifteen? Fifty? What will you do to keep your bond strong over the years? Even if the phrase “’til death do us part” doesn’t make the cut, don’t forget to anticipate the joys and challenges of marriage ahead. These important details will both guide the promises we mentioned above and give weight to your wedding vows.

13. Speak from your heart

Above all, your wedding vows are about expressing your true feelings about, and to, the person you’re about to spend the rest of your life with. When it comes right down to it, nothing is more important than saying what you truly feel in a style, length, and tone that defines your and your partner’s relationship.

Still have questions about wedding vows? Check out our answers to your most-asked questions about wedding vows below.

What are wedding vows?

Wedding vows are promises a couple makes to each other during their wedding ceremony. Spoken aloud from one partner to the other, they describe the love felt between the couple and voice their intentions—in front of a room full of witnesses—for how they plan to think, feel, and act towards each other during their marriage. Vows aren’t legally required for a marriage service, but they’re often included in traditional marriage ceremonies and for religious services.

How long should wedding vows be?

There’s no hard-and-fast rule about how long wedding vows should be, but most traditional vows run anywhere from 15 seconds to 1 minute per person. If you’re writing your own vows, remember that what’s most important is what you say, not how long it takes to say it. Whether it takes 30 seconds or 3 minutes, make sure you keep your vows focused on expressing all that you want to share from your heart.

Should you write your own wedding vows?

Writing your own wedding vows is a personal decision for every couple. You might love the freedom to express yourselves in your own words, or you might be terrified at the idea of having to put your feelings into words on paper (and then share them with everyone you know). Here are some questions you and your partner should ask each other when deciding whether you should write your own vows:

• Do we feel comfortable sharing our intimate feelings in front of our friends, family, and guests?
• Do we have the time and dedication to actually sit down and write wedding vows ourselves?
• Do we feel comfortable departing from the traditional vows of our religion(s)?
• Will we both take this task seriously as part of our wedding planning?
• Will we have enough time to draft our vows, edit them, and practice them in the months before our wedding?

For more tips on wedding vow prep and how to create a ceremony that stands the test of time, check out our resources on the history of wedding vows and how long your wedding vows should be .

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How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows: Easy 10-Step Template & Guide

• Post author: Brittany
• Post published: May 10, 2020
• Post category: Readings & Vows / Wedding Planning

There are honestly MANY ways of writing your own wedding vows and almost no way you do it will be the “wrong way.” As long as YOU’RE the one writing it and you’re speaking the truth (and it’s not 10 minutes long…), it’s going to be beautiful… trust me.

But I know that many people still torture themselves stressing out over their vows. And that’s because we’ve all put unnecessary high expectations of perfection on ourselves when it comes to vows — perfection that nobody else wants or expects. Your vows are simply a two-minute (ish) expression of love for your partner and a promise to continue doing your best to love them, through good times and bad.

So in this post, I’m going to give you a QUICK AND EASY 10-Step process and template for writing your own wedding vows. 🙂 Plus, at the bottom of this post, I’ll give you an example vows that use this template. It’s gonna be GREAT!! Even if you hate writing, you can do it! And the best part: This can all be done in ONE HOUR.

That’s right. 60 minutes to get your perfect, beautiful, amazing vows written using this template and process, with little to no stress. All you have to do is commit to one hour and put everything else aside, including social media… for just that one hour.

Here’s the video I made on my YouTube Channel explaining the 10-Step vow-writing process! I have lots of videos on my YouTube discussing all sorts of wedding stuff — check it out! 🙂

HOW LONG SHOULD MY WEDDING VOWS BE? The perfect length for wedding vows is about 3 minutes or less each. Short and sweet is always preferred to long and rambling.

Try to follow the time markers that I’ve set. Write in the time allotted and DON’T TRY TO BE PERFECT! Concentrate on getting done, let the words flow out, and don’t worry about whether what you’re writing is “good” or not! That’s very important for getting in touch with your authentic feelings. Don’t think and fret too much. Just write within the time constraints! Okay, let’s do it!

*Note: You will have to read over this list first, before beginning writing your vows, so that you can prepare the “supplies” that you’ll need… then re-read when you’re ready to begin writing. GOOD LUCK!

Here is the 10-Step Template for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows in Just ONE HOUR (Followed By FULL explanations below):

Step 1: set a date.

• Step 2: Go on that Date and Set a Timer for ONE HOUR

Step 3: Discuss & Agree On Parameters/Rules: 10 Minutes

• Step 4: Start Your Music Playlist and Get Writing
• Step 5: Express Love for the Witnesses (1-2 Sentences) : 10 Minutes
• Step 6: Tell a Love Story (4-6 Sentences) : 15 Minutes
• Step 7: Express Love For Particular Qualities (4-6 Sentences): 15 Minutes
• Step 8: Make Realistic Promises (4-6 Sentences): 10 Minutes
• Step 9: Don’t Forget to Say “I Love You”

Step 10: Practice Out Loud

After reading this article, I highly recommend you also read my article on How to Create a Unique Wedding Ceremony and my 10-Step Guide on How to Write the Perfect Wedding Ceremony Script (with sample scripts) 🙂

This is important!! Step 1 is to set a date with your partner to get this task done. Discuss a date, agree on it (the date and the hour) and put it on the calendar for about one month before your wedding. Stay with me!

We set a date for almost every other wedding detail that we have to get done, including florals, the DJ, and a great number of other meetings we set with vendors and the venue… but we often leave the wedding vows, the HEART of our event, to the last minute. And that’s because we think it’s hard and so we avoid it!

But it doesn’t have to be something you dread. In fact, it can be FUN! Set a date to do something you love, just the two of you. It can be a dinner date, going out to a bar, taking a hike, a mini road trip …anything! Maybe even a night in a hotel or a romantic night at home. Something that you can look forward to doing together.

For this date, in addition to whatever other fun things you do, you’re going to set one hour devoted to writing your vows together — well, not exactly TOGETHER. Because you still want to keep your vows secret from each other until your wedding ceremony. But you’ll be physically in the same space for accountability and moral support!

Bring your lap tops, or notebooks and pens, and a positive attitude 🙂

Step 2: Go On That Date & Set a Timer for ONE HOUR

Go on your date! Set aside your phones and any other distractions. If you have something on your mind nagging at you and you feel like you can’t concentrate, talk about what’s bothering you first before starting the timer for one hour.

Your mind should be as clear as possible — not thinking about work projects, family problems, things you have to get done, etc. etc… Try to be in a clear and positive state of mind before beginning.

And then set that timer for 60 minutes!

For the first 10 minutes (or less), discuss with your partner the parameters and “rules” of your wedding vows. You can save some time by having this discussion before the day-of if you want.

Your vows will be a secret from each other so it’s a good idea to discuss expectations before jumping in. A lot of the anxiety of writing wedding vows comes from the negative thought of “I don’t know if mine will be as good as yours.” Agreeing on rules beforehand will let you know what to expect from each other and should give you some relief.

Here’s what you should agree on together:

• Decide on the tone and mood that you want your vows to have. Do you want them to be funny, serious, romantic, sweet? A mixture of these emotions? Should we avoid sharing embarrassing stories and/or inside jokes, or are we okay with these things?
• Decide on the length of your vows. Wedding vows should be no longer than 3 minutes per partner, or they start to drag on a bit too much. You can each agree to speak for about 2 minutes, or about 250-500 words (if you’re typing your vows). Or you can each stick to the template outlined in this post and your vows should be about the same length. Once you get to Step 10, it’s a good idea to have a third party read both sets of vows (or better, listen to both sets of vows) to ensure that they’re both about the same length.

Step 4: Start a Music Playlist and Get Writing

This is one thing you should remember to take with you on your date: a music playlist of songs that are special to you and your partner or that just make you think of your partner.

Ideally, you would each bring your own music/playlist. If you’re putting together a playlist or some songs for your wedding anyway, you can just use that!

It’s an optional step, but I wouldn’t skip it. Listening to music before or while you write your vows will put you in an optimal mood for writing these oh-so-special words! Press play and let’s get going… 50 more minutes!

It’s time to get writing! KEEP THESE TIPS IN MIND for the next steps:

• You’re going to be able to read your vows. It’s perfectly acceptable and expected. So don’t bother or worry about memorizing them. This can lead to totally unnecessary stress on your wedding day! Not to mention, freezing and rambling. Just read! It’s okay.
• Be yourself and use language that you would normally choose. Some people try to be too formal, or crack too many jokes, or just generally be someone who they usually aren’t. Try to just write/speak in a way that feels natural to you.
• If you’re getting married in a particular religious or cultural tradition, talk to your officiant beforehand and ask what’s expected in terms of vows. Can you even write your own vows? Can you incorporate your own vows into the traditional vows?
• In some states/provinces, you have to say specific words in your vows to be legally married. Find out on your local government website if there are particular words you must say during your vows, and see if you can then incorporate your own vows into this procedure.
• Finally, talk to your officiant about vows that they’ve heard in the past that worked well and get inspired by vows online and from YouTube videos. You don’t have to completely reinvent the wheel, but don’t copy vows directly from the internet either… because they won’t sound like you. And the whole joy of writing your own vows is the personalization that they add to your wedding ceremony.

Step 5: Express Love for the Witnesses (1-2 Sentences): 10 Minutes

The idea is to start your vows with a sentence or two, or a phrase that welcomes and expresses love for your guests who are present. By doing this, you invite everyone into your vows right from the beginning and make them feel recognized and special for being a part of this moment.

So you could begin by saying something like, “[NAME], I’m marrying you here today in front of our closest friends and family, people who have been part of our journey in one way or another throughout our lives… and I’m so happy to have everyone here with us today…”

Some variation of this sentiment realllllyyy lets everyone present feel seen and draws them into the moment even more.

Next, you’ll take about 15 minutes to write 4-6 sentences summarizing a “love story” of some kind between you and your partner. Some ideas include:

• How you two first met
• When you first knew that you loved your partner
• A hard time that you got through together
• A funny story from a vacation, school, work, or everyday life together

Describe what happened, and then how you FELT in those moments. In about 4-6 sentences! We humans love stories of any kind… we’re just designed that way! Stories resonate with us and stick in our memories.

So tell a story, very briefly, but with specific details (generalities are more boring and forgettable) and don’t forget to say how you felt.

In this step, you’ll express love for your favorite characteristics about your partner , in about 4-6 more sentences. What do you love about them? Their sense of humor, courage, passion? Examples:

• I love how you…
• I love that you…
• You’ve always been…
• It’s amazing to me that you…

Ideally, you would keep an ongoing note in your phone (or wherever) jotting down ideas whenever they pop into your head. And then you can just add those ideas to this part of your vows!

Now you’ll take about 10 minutes to write 4-6 sentences making promises to your partner. These are vows after all! In this part, you’ll simply write some of the things that you intend to do in your marriage.

Some should be light and cute (I promise to try and remember to unload the dishwasher… haha) and some more serious and romantic… but REALISTIC.

I suggest making these promises realistic because lofty or hyperbolic vows ring as phony and only lead to disappointment when they’re inevitably unfulfilled. You want to make your wedding vows promises that you can actually keep.

I recommend that you also promise to continue revisiting these promises every day, recognizing that today is not the only day that you have to make these vows.

This maybe seems obvious but it gets forgotten. Saying “I love you” to your partner during your vows is a good idea 🙂

Now you have your vows written! In an hour or less! Congratulations! And if you stayed within the writing constraint, that’s GREAT because it means you didn’t think too much… you just wrote what you felt without trying to be too perfect… and that’s PERFECT!

Some people like to write several drafts and rework their writing. There’s plenty of time for that if you want, because you’ve written your vows one month in advance! So if you’re unhappy with the first draft, don’t worry. There’s time to make it better. But at least you now have something to work with. And as you practice, you’ll realize whether or not your vows are too long (more than 3 minutes) and to shorten them by cutting out some sentences.

The last step is for you to PRACTICE YOUR VOWS ALOUD. You can say them to yourself, or even better — to a trusted friend. AND EVEN BETTER if that trusted friend can hear both you and your partner’s vows and give you guys the green light that they both work well together in tone and length.

Practicing, despite what some people may think, doesn’t make your vows sound less authentic. It just makes you feel more confident when you’re reading them on your wedding day. Strange emotions can surprise and come out of you during a time such as this and so you want to have felt those words come out of your mouth before the day of… just to get the jitters out at least a little bit. And also so you’ll have an idea of whether you’re going to get choked up!

VOW TIPS FOR MULTILINGUAL COUPLES

If you happen to be in a relationship that is bilingual or multilingual, and plan on having guests that only speak one of the two or more languages, vows can be more complicated. There are some creative ways of getting around this.

At my sister-in-law’s wedding, for example, one of them said their vows in French, one in English and then one of the readings was in Spanish. So all guests present at least understood part of the ceremony.

Another idea is to say your vows in whatever language you each feel most comfortable in (or just want to use) and then print your vows in the other common language and give out these little printed cards to each of your guests so that they can follow along no matter what language they speak.

Example Vows (Using the 10-Step Template)

Now that you’ve read about how to write your own vows, I’ll give you an example of what these vows might look like. This example uses the template described in detail above (Steps #5-9):

Use this example vow for inspiration, but write your own — obviously– so that they reflect you and your relationship:

EXAMPLE VOWS:

[NAME], I’m so excited that we can get married today in front of the people who mean the most to us in the world. The minute I saw you on the subway on my evening commute, in your baggy hoodie and messy bun, with no make-up on, I knew I was in trouble. I fell in love with you in that very moment. Thankfully, you took a chance on a goofy, fumbling dude asking you out on such a romantic place as the DC Metro. On our first date, over a mountain of frozen yogurt, I looked into your eyes and knew in that moment that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the bravest person I know. You’re never afraid to try new experiences or grab at the chance to travel somewhere new. Your intelligence and wit challenges me and makes me excited each day to share new things with you. I love your kindness, humility, and your ability to turn every situation into a positive. Today, on our wedding day, and every other day of our lives, I promise to love you and care for you. Even when we’re old and grey. I promise to try my best every day, not growing complacent in our love but always striving to nurture it. I vow to be there for you when times aren’t rosy and to be your partner in all things. I love you.

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How To Write Your Wedding Vows (With Examples To Steal)

Updates for this wild world we're living in

I t’s funny how not too long ago, wedding vows felt like the thing that landed at the bottom of your wedding to-do list. While “writing marriage vows” languished at the bottom, the top of the list was all that logistical (and sometimes fun and pretty stuff): figure out your seating chart , nail down your perfect dance party playlist , create an amazing photo booth filter. And then the pandemic happened, and in an instant, weddings went from “all the things,” to “just the things that really mattered.”

Coronavirus may not have given us much, but it gave fresh perspective on some key wedding vows: “In sickness and in health, till death do us part.” Suddenly, we’ve all been forced to remember that the most important thing we have in this world is our love for each other, and our commitment to care for each other till the end. No pandemic, budget, or changes to plans can take away the most beautiful parts of your wedding day. Wedding vows are the commitment we make to each other. They make us understand what we’re committing to. They’re the heart and soul of the wedding.

I’ve known too many people who saved writing their marriage vows for the night before. (Pro-tip: start early.) We’ve put together this seriously helpful post of wedding vows—a comprehensive list of real marriage vows (including vows from world religions), and some tips for exactly how to get it done, to get your own creativity flowing.

Related Post

But before we start, a note. You don’t have to write your wedding vows. You might want to. To that, we say: Go for it! Or perhaps you want to say the time-tested traditional marriage vows, echoing the generations before you. (I did.) Or maybe you’re looking to tweak traditional vows just a little bit to make them feel like yours. Whatever you’re looking for, chances are we’ve got something on our list that will help you craft the promises you want to make.

How to write wedding vows

This might feel obvious at first, but just because you might have known that you’ve wanted to write wedding vows for years and years, your partner might not. Talk to them! Decide together that you definitely want to write them. There is nothing wrong with saying traditional marriage vows . But if you’re going to DIY this, both of you have to be equally committed to this concept.

Remember that marriage vows don’t have to be long or complex, or put you on the spot. Hannah Nielsen-Jones, officiant with River and Root Ceremonies in Washington, D.C., advises,  “Consider how comfortable you are with public speaking. If it’s not something that you enjoy or if it’s something that makes you anxious, it is 100% acceptable to ask your officiant to structure vows so that you only have to say ‘I do’ or ‘I will’ or something similar. If speaking on your own feels hard, you can also consider speaking at the same time as your partner, so you are saying the same things to each other at the same time.”

Writing Vows: Step By Step

Talk to your officiant

Many houses of worship may require you to say all, or part, of the traditional marriage vows of that religious practice. Sometimes this won’t preclude also saying vows that you wrote (though sometimes it will), but you’ll want to know what the rules are—and what the religious reasoning for them is—upfront. Some officiants may ask to review your vows before the ceremony, so be prepared to have them early if this is the case.

Come up with a plan

Will you write your vows together, or separately? Will you show them to each other beforehand, or will you keep them a secret until the ceremony? Do you want to set a due date for when you need to have your vows written? If you’ve decided that you will not see each other’s marriage vows before the ceremony, Nielsen-Jones of River and Root Ceremonies recommends showing them to someone else. “I encourage people to send them to their officiant or a good friend beforehand at least two weeks before the wedding. This has at least two benefits: 1) you will actually write them before the day you get married, and 2) the person who looks over them can let you know if they are roughly congruent in length and tone.” You don’t want to be promising to care for someone on their deathbed, while they’re promising to always DVR Grey’s Anatomy for you. As Nielsen-Jones says, “In my experience, it’s rare that the vows are so different from each other, but when they are, I would say that half the time couples try to meet in the middle, and half the time they say, ‘Yep that’s our dynamic! let’s keep it that way!’ The aim of this is to avoid an unfortunate surprise during vows.”

Photo: Zoe Larkin

Create a Structure

Think together about how long you want your vows to be, and think about how you want them to fit into your ceremony. Having a structure will also help you keep your word limit and help your vows match your partner’s. Finding a structure that works for you may require some tracking down, but don’t be afraid to mix and match from lots of examples you find. And of course, look to your own story and build around that. Alexis Dent, who owns vow-writing company XO Juliet , says, “I always recommend including an anecdote or quote to start, at least one anecdote in the middle, and a clear declaration of vows towards the end.”

Photo: Hannah Shea Photo

A good place to start is reading traditional vows . See what strikes a chord with you. You can even incorporate these into what you write, or use them as a jumping-off point. Secondly, steal ideas! Borrow freely from poetry , books, and even movies or video games . Jot down words and phrases that capture your feelings. The quotes you keep closest to your heart ring true for a reason. Use them. And if you’re someone who keeps a journal, go back and steal from your past self too. You’re not publishing a book or writing a college essay. Plagiarism is both allowed and encouraged (though as always: avoid cultural appropriation , which is a whole different thing). The truth is, most vows are plagiarism since we’re hoping to steal some wisdom from people that have gone before us, both in vows and in marriage.

Think About Your Relationship

Take some time, both separately and together, to think about what you love about each other and what makes your relationship special. Write down the most memorable moments you have shared together, good or bad. Think about the promises you want to make to your partner, and which ones you don’t. Alexis of XO Juliet says that “The best advice I would give to someone who is writing their wedding vows is to include the tough times in their relationship. It makes it much more meaningful to hear about the struggles the couple has endured. We all know that relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies, but people get so wrapped up in thinking that vows only have to be about the perfect times. Including an allusion to hard times makes your vows more relatable, and it also seems honest.”

Jackie Reinking , a wedding officiant specializing in elopements in New York City, says that if you get stuck, ask yourself some questions. “What is something your partner did for you that made you feel special? Is there something about your partner that you never want to live without? Think back to the first time you said, ‘I love you.’ Why was that the moment you had to say it?” She advises that “After reading the question, take a mental note of the first thing that comes to mind. Don’t give yourself more than a couple of minutes to flip through your thoughts. This shouldn’t be something to add stress but an exercise in feeling the joy of how much you absolutely adore this person you are marrying.”

Edit for tone, and then shorten

It’s best to decide on your overall tone before you put pen to paper, but make sure to go back over your words and refine the tone you want to achieve. Poetic and romantic? Humorous but touching? It’s up to you. The most important thing is that your marriage vows ring true and sound like they’re from your heart. While your vows can be lighthearted, they should, in some way, acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment you’re about to make. Use humor in moderation, and remember, at the end of the day, making the audience laugh is not your goal. Keep in mind that your vows shouldn’t be so personal that they can’t be followed by anyone, so don’t make them overly cryptic or embarrassing. You’ve invited your family and friends to witness your vows in order to make your bond public, so think about your words from their point of view—your guests want to feel included in that moment, even if they’re not feeling exactly what you’re feeling. That means putting a soft limit on inside jokes, deeply personal anecdotes, obscure nicknames, or code words.

And then, shorten. Aim to have your vows last for about one minute or less per person. Believe me, it’s longer than it sounds. Get at the heart of what marrying this person means to you; pick the most important promises and make them well. If you have more to say, save the more personal thoughts and give your spouse a letter on the morning of the ceremony .

Photo: Imani Photo

Memorization is optional, practicing is not.

Not only will practicing help with your delivery, but it’s also an important part of the editing process. Beth Stokes, a Humanist wedding officiant in Massachusetts and owner of Well Wed by Beth , says “My best advice for delivering vows is to practice. Especially practice saying the whole thing out loud. Send your partner out to dinner with friends while you walk around your place practicing. You’d be surprised how many words sound great on paper, but stiff and ungainly when spoken. Practice looking up while you read your vows, so you can actually look at your partner as you say the words. Beth advises that “Once you’ve got the right words for delivering your vows aloud, use different colored pens if you want to underline words for emphasis. Insert pauses that will allow you to look at your partner in those moments. You want to connect with your partner when saying your vows.”

It’s common to mumble or speak softly when reading, so practice your vows to make sure your family and friends will hear you. These are words that are meant to be heard by the assembled crowd, so check how they sound when spoken. Read your vows out loud to make sure they flow easily and watch out for tongue twisters and run-on sentences—both easy mistakes to make when you write marriage vows. And then, practice slowing down and speaking clearly. Beth notes that “unless you’re a professional speaker, you’re probably rushing through the reading. Aim for 150–170 words a minute. During the ceremony, see if you can pace your reading to a pretty relaxed inhale and exhale.”

Then do what you want

At the end of the day, they’re your words. Do what you want .  Seriously. Your vows don’t even have to sound or read like marriage vows; you could write an essay, a sonnet, or rap them if that’s what is going to mean the most to you. Vows should sound like you , especially when you’re making promises to your partner. On this day of all days, you shouldn’t sound like someone else, so write vows that matter to you and feel authentic. 

Photo: Rad + In Love

THE BEST SAMPLE WEDDING VOWS TO STEAL (OR BE INSPIRED BY)

Now that you know how to write your vows, we’ve rounded up some of our favorite vows from APW couples, along with marriage vows from religions across the world, to get you started. And yes, we’ve added some real vows—even special post-pandemic ones. Let’s look at some of the best real wedding vows we’ve come across, plus a selection of beautiful traditional vows from world religions.

Pandemic Inspired Vows

I promise to love you every day of our lives; even in the event that a pandemic caused by a bat virus turns the world upside down and forces us to quarantine.

I promise to cherish you for eternity; even if we are putting together backyard furniture during said pandemic because we didn’t want to pay for assembly and this resulted in my nose being bruised.

I will do my best to never forget to order our groceries a few days before we are out, knowing that Instacart will repeatedly tell me “no delivery times available”, which will, in turn, cause us to mass panic.

I hope to be your constant strength, even when I am certain every single day that the tickle in my throat is not in fact allergies but The Virus and that causes mini (big) mental breakdown.

I promise to continue learning with you, like reading crisis news articles to you out loud every single day when you absolutely did not ask me to. You’re welcome.

Most importantly, I vow to be one of the first to hoard toilet paper, as to save us from having to worry about where we will get our next roll. (Also this is a joke please do not stockpile TP, for the love of all that is good). And with these promises, I know we can build a life that we are proud of (in, or out, of quarantine). I love you. Wouldn’t want to be stuck inside with anyone else.

— Kaila Strickland (pictured at the top of the post)

Romantic Vows From Real Weddings

Alex, you are my best friend. I promise to laugh with you, cry with you, and grow with you. I will love you when we are together and when we are apart. I promise to support your dreams and to respect our differences and to love you and be by your side through all the days and nights of our lives.

I, Alex, choose you Sam to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what things I will discover. I will respect you as a person, a partner, and an equal. There is little to say that you haven’t already heard, and little to give that is not already freely given. Before you asked me, I was yours and I am devoted to you in every way. I marry you with no hesitation or doubt, and my commitment to you is absolute. Do you take me to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife/partner?

I choose you. To stand by your side and sleep in your arms. To be joy to your heart and food for your soul. To learn with you and grow with you, even as time and life change us both. I promise to laugh with you in good times and struggle alongside you in bad times. I promise to respect you and cherish you as an individual, a partner, and an equal, knowing that we do not complete, but complement each other. May we have many adventures and grow old together.

I, Alex, do pledge you, Sam, my love, for as long as I live. What I possess in this world, I give to you. I will keep you and hold you, comfort, and tend you, protect you and shelter you, for all the days of my life.

More PersonaL

I love you unconditionally and without hesitation. I vow to love you, encourage you, trust you, and respect you. As a family, we will create a home filled with learning, laughter, and compassion. I promise to work with you to foster and cherish a relationship of equality knowing that together we will build a life far better than either of us could imagine alone. Today, I choose you to be my husband/wife/partner. I accept you as you are, and I offer myself in return. I will care for you, stand beside you, and share with you all of life’s adversities and all of its joys from this day forward, and all the days of my life.

Today, I promise you this: I will laugh with you in times of joy, and comfort you in times of sorrow. I will share in your dreams and support you as you strive to achieve your goals. I will listen to you with compassion and understanding, and speak to you with encouragement. Together, let us build a home filled with learning, laughter, and light, shared freely with all who may live there. Let us be partners, friends, and lovers, today and all of the days that follow.

I, Alex, take you, Sam, to be my husband/wife/partner.   I promise to always be your biggest fan and your partner in crime. I promise to create and support a family with you, in a household filled with laughter, patience, understanding, and love. I vow not just to grow old together, but to grow together. I will love you faithfully through the difficult and the easy. What may come, I will always be there, each one believing that love never dies. As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep.

Modern marriage Vows From Real Weddings

Officiant: Do you, Sam, promise to be a loving friend and partner in marriage , to talk and to listen, to trust and to appreciate, to respect and to cherish Alex’s uniqueness? Do you promise to support, comfort, and strengthen him/her/them through life’s joys and sorrows? Do you promise to share hopes and dreams as you build your lives together, and to grow with Alex in mind? Will you strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor, filled with peace, happiness, and love? Do you promise to always be open and honest with Alex, and cherish him/her/them for as long as you both shall live?

I, Sam, take you, Alex, to be the wife/husband/partner of my days, the companion of my house, the friend of my life. We shall bear together whatever trouble and sorrow life may lay upon us, and we shall share together whatever good and joyful things life may bring us. With these words and all the words of my heart, I marry you and bind my life to yours.

Today, surrounded by people who love us, I choose you, Alex, to be my partner. I am proud to be your wife/husband/partner and to join my life with yours. I vow to support you, push you, inspire you, and, above all, love you, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live.

I take you to be my spouse. I promise to choose you every day, to love you in word and deed, to do the hard work of making now into always. To laugh with you, cry with you, grow with you, and create with you. To honor the divinity in you, of you, and around you. To be your kin and your partner in all of life’s adventures. Loving what I know of you and trusting what I don’t yet know, I give you my hand. I give you my love. I give you myself. Will you give me yourself? Will you come travel with me?

Photo: River Medlock Photography

More-traditional

I, Sam, commit myself to you, Alex, as wife/husband/partner, to learn and grow with, to explore and adventure with, to respect you in everything as an equal partner, in the foreknowledge of joy and pain, strength and weariness, direction and doubt, for all the risings and settings of the sun. We tie these knots to symbolize our connection to one another. They represent our trust in each other and our combined strength together.

Today, surrounded by people who love us, I choose you, Alex, to be my partner. I am proud to be your wife/husband/partner and to join my life with yours. I vow to support you, push you, inspire you, and above all love you, for better or worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, as long as we both shall live

OFFICIANT: Do you, Sam and Alex, pledge to create a life of mutual respect, compassion, generosity, and patience toward each other as you grow together in years? COUPLE: We do. OFFICIANT: Do you pledge to recognize each other’s individuality and celebrate each other’s uniqueness as a strength in marriage? While at the same time, will you guard one another’s weaknesses with understanding, support, and inspiration? COUPLE: We do. OFFICIANT: And do you pledge to share the love you have for each other with all living beings? To be a couple that lets their marriage radiate into others, making their lives more beautiful because of it? COUPLE: We do. OFFICIANT: Sam and Alex, if you will face each other and repeat after me. Sam: Alex, I give you my life. With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you. Alex: Sam, I give you my life. With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you.

You have taught me that two people joined together with respect, trust, and open communication can be far stronger and happier than each could ever be alone. You are the strength I didn’t know I needed and the joy that I didn’t know I lacked. Today, I choose to spend the rest of my life with you.

I promise to love you for who you are, and for who you are yet to become. I promise to be patient and to remember that all things between us are rooted in love. I promise to nurture your dreams and to help you reach them. I promise to share my whole heart with you and to remember to show you how deeply I care for you, no matter the challenges that may come our way. I promise to love you loyally and fiercely—as long as I shall live.

Do you take me to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife/partner?

I, Alex, do pledge you, Sam, my love, for as long as I live. What I possess in this world, I give to you. I will keep you and hold you, comfort, and tend you, protect you, and shelter you, for all the days of my life.

Our Favorite marriage Vow Books on Etsy

1. Celestial Stars Vow Books by Peach Paper Shop | 2. Best Day Ever Vow Books by Peach Paper Shop | 3. Boho Vow Books by The Cozy Comfy Home | 4. Personalized Wedding Vow Books by Blush Printables | 5. Leather Wedding Vow Booklet by Cover Cafe | 6. His & Her’s Personalised Vow Books by Paigen Co. | 7. Minimal Vow Books by Pape In Co. | 8. Custom Vow Book by Studio Tenebris

 Have you written your marriage vows? If you have, please share! What did you say? What felt hardest about writing them yourselves? What marriage vows have moved you the most? Share in the comments!

Parts of this post were excerpted from the #APWPlanner . For more useful advice like this, get your #APWPlanner at AMAZON , BARNES & NOBLE , INDIEBOUND , or on ITUNES .

Founder & Editor-In-Chief

Meg is the Founder of APW, and has been the sites EIC for the past twelve years. She has written two best selling wedding books:   A Practical Wedding   and  A Practical Wedding Planner .  Meg’s work has been referenced in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, NPR, Jezebel, and Refinery29 . She’s also written hugely viral wedding articles for Buzzfeed. She lives in Oakland, CA with her husband and two children. For more than you ever wanted to know about Meg, you can visit MegKeene.com .

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The Ultimate Guide To Wedding Vow Writing

Have you made the decision to write your own wedding vows? Then chances are you’re stressed, anxious, and procrastinating.

I’m Katelyn, creator of Wedding Words , a wedding vow and toast writing service. As a professional vow writer, I hear the cries of brides who crave custom wedding vows, “I’m so overwhelmed and have no idea how to write my own vows!”

Photo by Light of Wild via Bridal Musings

Well, there’s no reason to fear this wedding planning task any longer. I’m here to help by outlining the ultimate guide to wedding vow writing. Follow these tips for a stress-free vow writing experience and you’ll soon enjoy sharing unique vows on your big day.

1. Start with a Brainstorm

Photo by T & K Photography via Bridal Musings

The hardest part of vow writing is getting started. For now, forget needing to form actual sentences. Just begin with a brainstorm.

List every romantic memory or a funny moment you two have shared. What feelings come to mind when you think about your relationship?

Scribble down thoughts without judgment. The goal with this brainstorm is simply to get ideas down on paper. We’ll worry about forming them into coherent thoughts later on in the process.

2. Include a Theme

Photo by Anya Kernes Photography via Bridal Musings

Themes are the anchor points of any good story. Think about your favorite movie or book. You can identify themes. Vows are another form of storytelling—and should also include a theme.

To identify your theme, review your brainstorm notes. What similarities jump out at you? Unwavering support? Thoughtfulness? Laughter?

Once you’ve identified the theme of your relationship, use this to center your vow writing around. For example, if thoughtfulness is your theme—tell a specific anecdote about how your fiancé showed his thoughtfulness. Then connect this theme to what you wish to bring into your marriage. In other words, how do you plan to be thoughtful to him throughout your marriage?

3. Track Your Word Count

Photo by Elias Kordelakis via Bridal Musings

Aim to write between 390 to 650 words. This is three to five minutes in speaking length. Keeping the word count around this length will ensure that your vows are concise, articulate, and will keep the guests engaged.

Trouble keeping your vows short and sweet? Editing your own work can be challenging.

Follow these two tips to help with the self-editing process:

• Remove any word that doesn’t add to the meaning or your point. Meaning, does the sentence still make sense without the word? If so, delete it. It’s not needed.
• Remove any phrase or sentence that does not make a new point. If you’ve already said something similar but in a different way, no need to be redundant. Cut it and move on to making a new point.

4. Practice, Practice, Practice

Photo by Claire Eliza via Bridal Musings

Any great speaker you’ve watched and have been inspired by has endlessly practiced their speech. This step is especially important for anyone who has a fear of public speaking—which most of us do!

Rehearse reading your wedding vows in front of your bridesmaids and ask for constructive feedback.

Prefer not to go public just yet? Video record yourself. The purpose is not to be self-critical. It’s to be self-aware. Do you say “um” countless times? Do you avoid eye contact or fidget with your hair?

Catch your nervous ticks before the ceremony and you won’t have to watch them for years to come on your wedding video.

Practicing your wedding vows will also build your confidence. The more you do something, the more natural it begins to feel. The more you practice your vows, the more poised you’ll feel.

5. Print Your Vows on Paper

Elmo Paper Stories via Bridal Musings

As natural as it might feel to read your vows off your phone—don’t do it. Your photographer and videographer will not be happy. The glow from your device will distort the coloring on your face in images and video. It will also look dated and tacky in the future.

Plus, if you experience any technical issues, you may not be able to pull up your vows on your phone. #awkward

Opt for handwriting or printing your vows on paper. For an especially polished touch, use a wedding vow booklet. Etsy has a variety of adorable vow booklets. You can choose anything from booklets that match your wedding colors to having your names embossed on the cover.

These booklets will make for beautiful photographs and are a nice keepsake after the wedding.

6. Work with a Professional

Photo by KM Photo via Bridal Musings

If you’re still struggling to write your own wedding vows, consider collaborating with a wedding vow writer. At Wedding Words, we work with couples to create custom wedding vows that are completely unique to your love story.

When you’re looking to add a special and personalized touch to your wedding, choosing to do non-traditional wedding vows is the way to go. Enjoy following this wedding vow writing guide so you too can create beautiful, custom wedding vows.

For more expert wedding advice, visit our planning section .

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Sweet destination wedding film with rather unique vows, how to write the perfect holiday proposal, our faves from the bm wedding shop.

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How to write wedding vows that wow.

Wedding vows can be particularly meaningful when you write them yourself, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. But not if you start here! Our wedding vow writing tips, template and examples will help you organize your thoughts and express what’s really in your heart.

Inspired? Create and share by tagging @hallmarkstores .

Part 1: The Declaration of Love  

Make a simple statement about who s/he is to you. For example:

• “Aisha, you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
• “Matt, you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
• “Sam, you are my very best friend.”

Say a few things about why s/he’s so wonderful. Things like:

• “You are kind and caring, and one smile from you brightens my whole day.”
• “You are dependable, yet full of surprises, and you are beautiful inside and out.”
• “You make me laugh, you make me think, you make me pancakes, and you make me happy.”

Now say you love him/her.

• “I am completely and totally in love with you.”
• “You stole my heart, and I want you to keep it forever.”
• “I love you so much, and I can’t believe how lucky I am to be standing here with you today.”

Nice work! On to the next part!

Part 2: The Promises  

Make promises about what you will do for your partner. Think about the ways love shows itself, day in and day out…through support, trust, words, actions, gifts, time and attention. If you are religious, you’ll probably also want to include language about your faith. Here are some examples:

• “In front of God and our friends and family, I promise to stand by you and to stand up for you, to laugh with you and never laugh at you, and to do everything I can to make you happy.”
• “I pledge to accept you as you are, to respect you as an equal and to encourage your dreams and passions.”
• “I promise to be loving, patient and faithful. I will be the very best husband I can be to you and the very best father I can be to Jacob and Taylor.”

Now think about some of the things you will do with your partner.

• “With you, I’ll create a peaceful, happy home and a loving family.”
• “I will grow old with you—and never stop growing with you.”
• “I’ll be your partner on all of life’s adventures.”

Promise to be there in bad times as well as good…

• “When you’re sad, I’ll comfort you, and when you’re happy, I’ll share your joy…”
• “Through hard times and good times, through sickness and health, I’ll always be at your side…”
• “I will love you through sunshine and storms…”

For a very, very long time.

• “…for all the days of my life.”
• “…as long as we both shall live.”
• “…for all eternity.”

After you have a rough draft of your vows following this template, you may decide to combine, add or subtract some things. The important thing is to have wedding vows that are meaningful to you both and that will suit your relationship and the future you’ll build together.

Stacey Donovan has been a writer and editor at Hallmark for more than 20 years. She also writes romance novels (under a pseudonym), and has collected a wealth of obscure knowledge in the process.

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Wedding Vow Templates: Examples + Tips

Written by  Shutterfly Community Last Updated: Dec 11, 2018

Reciting your vows to the one you love is an exciting once in a lifetime experience. You get to speak from your heart and feel the support and love from family and friends that have gathered for your wedding day. Planning your ceremony can be time-consuming between planning the order of the ceremony , designing wedding programs and picking the right officiant — but it is important to give yourself time to write personal vows for your significant other.

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Don’t worry if you are having trouble knowing where to start or what to include. We’ve got you covered with all the information you need to start writing. We have provided five examples and provide a template as a personalized mockup of how your wedding vows for him and wedding vows for her could look.

Wedding Vow Template

, I feel like the person in the world to be standing here with you. You’re my best friend, confidant, my biggest supporter and my favorite person. You are , , and I am so to have met you. From the moment that you came into my life, I I can still remember that very first moment that I saw you, After you came into my life I felt and knowing how you make me feel, I can’t imagine my life without you.

I promise to you and you for all of my days. I promise to be the best to you and to cherish every moment of

I love you with and I can’t wait to this new chapter of our lives together.

How to Write Wedding Vows

There are a couple of ways to look at the structure of vows, one simple way is to include past present and future elements of your relationship. These questions will give you a better ideas of   how to write your wedding vows .

Think about:

• “What made you fall in love with them?”
• “Why are you excited to marry them?”
• “How do you feel right now?”
• “What promises do you want to make for the future?”

If you still are having trouble knowing what to write, try writing about your relationship in journal entries. Start by writing down your favorite qualities, habits and memories about your significant other. Next, jot down your memories of important milestones, how you met, moving in, the proposal, any pivotal event in your relationship. Then answer the questions listed above, the more specific you get, the more personal your vows will be.

After writing and thinking for a couple of days, you will surely have a lot of great material to work with. Go through and highlight sentences that best capture how you feel and start putting those ideas together into vows that fit you and your relationship.

Wedding Vow Do’s and Don’ts

There aren’t any strict guidelines surrounding wedding vows as they should be unique to you. However, there are some standards about what you should and shouldn’t include in your vows and what steps to take when preparing for the big day:

• Do start writing your vows well in advance — Don’t stress about them
• Do get personal — Don’t overshare with your wedding guests
• Do speak from your heart — Don’t feel pressure to get emotional/sappy if that isn’t who you are
• Do add a couple jokes if that’s part of your personality— Don’t make it all a joke and try to refrain from using profanity
• Do be mindful of the guests at your wedding — Don’t cater your vows to the opinions of others
• Do read your vows to someone in advance — Don’t read them to your partner
• Do practice reading through your vows — Don’t over-rehearse them so they sound artificial

Unique Wedding Vow Ideas

In addition to personalized wedding vows, many brides opt for unique vow ideas. These ideas are a great way to set your wedding apart. Some of these special ideas could include:

• Reading an excerpt from a book or poem that has significant meaning in your relationship and life together
• Having children and other family members read an excerpt or tell a story about the couple
• Sailor knot tying ceremony to symbolize your strong bond
• Tree planting ceremony to symbolize growing together
• Sand pouring ceremony symbolizing your unity

For a personal and romantic touch, try placing a beautiful framed picture of you two or a meaningful quote at the entrance to your ceremony. “Perfect vows” look different for every couple, there is no “one size fits all” formula. As long as you write from your heart your partner will love and appreciate every word.

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How to Write the Perfect Wedding Vows

By Shelby Wax

A wedding ceremony can take many forms. A couple may choose to have music performed as they glide down a flower-lined aisle, or keep things simple at a courthouse. A religious officiant could provide blessings, or a friend might give an original speech about the couple. At the core of every wedding, however, are the vows exchanged and agreed to by saying “I do.” While many choose to follow a traditional script prompted by their officiant (“in sickness and health,” or “til death do us part”), an increasing number of newlyweds prefer to recite an original set of vows—words they’ve written to reflect the unique qualities of their relationship, and their promises for one another as they begin the next phase of life as a married couple.

If you don’t often put pen to paper to share your emotions, writing your original wedding vows might sound like a daunting task. Ahead, we asked two professional vow writers (yes, you can hire someone to help!) to share their tips on how to create your own personal wedding vows that both you and your partner will enjoy reciting—and listening to—on your big day. 

What to Include in Your Wedding Vows

While vows can run the gamut from a short paragraph to an original song, most follow a basic structure and length. Wedding vow and speech writer Katelyn Peterson advises the following breakdown: “Address your partner and briefly recap your love story, communicate traits that you admire about your partner, describe what you appreciate about your relationship, list three to six specific promises, and close with how you envision your future together.” She suggests that the total time should run from two to five minutes. “Brevity is best so when possible, make your vows on the shorter side,” she adds.

Tips for Writing Your Wedding Vows

Condensing all your memories, love, and hopes for your partner into a few minutes isn’t an easy task, so professional vow writers advise you to take your time with the process. Tanya Pushkine of The Vow Whisperer suggests beginning your brainstorming up to three months before the wedding so you aren’t too overwhelmed with other planning tasks. “A person needs time to be creative,” she says. “If you get into a rut, leave it alone for a few days. Most importantly, give yourself as much time as possible. Rushing vows is never a good idea.”

Begin the process by reflecting on your relationship. “I suggest doing a brain dump o f memories and moments you’ve shared,” she recommends. “Why do you want to marry this person? What incredible experiences have you had together and how do you see your future? Ideally, take the time to sit quietly and reflect, ponder, relive moments, and put that on paper.” Peterson agrees that it’s important to have a proper brainstorm before thinking about structure. “When you’re not focused on the format or how your vows will sound, you can come up with ideas more freely,” she explains. “Then you’ll have material that you can edit and polish into vows you love.”

By Hannah Jackson

By Kathleen Baird-Murray

By Kate Lloyd

Don’t forget that your inspiration should truly come from the heart. “Remember, you are the storyteller,” says Pushkine. “Writing your own vows not only enhances the entire experience, but it is a declaration of love you are making to your future spouse. If done well, every guest in the room will be completely swept away by these incredible words and the setting has been set for the rest of the magical wedding day.” She does advise to keep your guests in mind, though. Anything your partner might not want shared or a very detailed challenge your relationship faced can be kept private.

While stories and kind words bring beautiful color to your vows, don’t forget the main purpose of the task. “The number one details to always include are specific promises, as these are the heart of wedding vows,” shares Peterson. “List three to six and make sure they can stand the test of time.” She notes, “Inside jokes you share today may dwindle over the years. To create meaningful promises, consider how you can keep your commitment strong and your partner happy.”

While vows can lean towards sentimentality (and it’s absolutely okay to cry), try to find a balance that feels authentic to you and your future spouse. “I recommend writing sweet and sentimental vows that also include some playfulness and humor,” says Peterson. “This provides a nice balance and reflects most couple's personalities.”

How to Recite Your Wedding Vows

Once you write your vows, go ahead and read them (many times) out loud. “Practice, practice, practice, and focus on your speed and tone,” advises Peterson, who works with her clients on delivery after the writing process. “Most couples speak too quickly. Slow down to make sure guests and your fiancé understand what you’re saying.”

Not only should you consider your pace, but also think about how you bring your vows to life through voice and gesture. “You can write the most beautiful words ever written, but if you sound monotonous without any expression or feeling, it will all get lost, and people will be bored silly,” says Pushkine. “You have to work on being as animated, expressive, and soulful. The more you practice, the better you’ll be.”

Both vow writers say that you should not try reciting your speech from memory. “If you forget one word or line, your mind might go blank and you’ll freeze in front of your fiancé,” notes Peterson. She advises writing them down in a vow booklet instead. Pushkine adds, “Never memorize, but get to know the words so well that you can make eye contact. You don’t want to be glued to your vow book or paper.”

And finally, of course, there’s no pressure—you and your partner should always feel able to do your wedding your way. If public speaking isn’t your thing, you can agree to exchange vows privately after a first look or even exchange letters ahead of the ceremony. Just be ready for makeup touch-ups if you shed a tear or two.

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How to Write Wedding Vows: An Outline Of Your Love

February 15, 2024

Understanding the Significance of Wedding Vows

Getting started: tips for writing your vows, structuring your vows, incorporating personal touches.

Dos and Don’ts When Writing Vows

• Do be yourself
• Don’t worry about sounding like a poet (unless you are one)
• Do keep it short and sweet – this isn’t a novel
• Don’t forget to say ‘I love you.’ It’s a classic for a reason
• Do practice, but don’t stress about memorizing every word

Practice Makes Perfect: Rehearsing Your Vows

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8 Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts To Borrow for Your 2022 Wedding

Including writing tips to customize your wedding vows and ceremony scripts.

Cristina Montemayor is a freelance writer and makeup artist whose work has appeared on HelloGiggles, Slate, Elite Daily, and Bustle.

PHOTO BY GLORIA GOODE PHOTOGRAPHY  

The wedding ceremony is the heart of the wedding day. The dress, the flowers, the food are all icing on the cake, but the ceremony is where two people actually become married—legally, spiritually, and literally. Considering the significance, it’s surprising that many couples often leave the wedding ceremony planning to the last minute, according to wedding officiant and professional vow writing coach Tanya Pushkine. “It’s so rare that the wedding ceremony is thought of as a priority,” says Pushkine. “It’s almost like an afterthought.”

Meet the Expert

Tanya Pushkine is a professional vow writing coach, ceremony planner, and officiant based in New York City. She’s known as the “vow whisperer” for her ability to craft authentic and memorable ceremonies that reflect the unique personalities and beliefs of the couple.

Pushkine recommends that couples start thinking about the ceremony early in the wedding planning process so that they know what to ask for when they meet with their wedding planner or day-of coordinator. Religious ceremonies are typically more fixed in terms of the service, language, and traditions while secular/non-religious ceremonies give couples a lot more flexibility to personalize the ceremony to their unique tastes.

All weddings have a standard format ( processional , readings, vows, exchange of rings, pronouncement, first kiss, and recessional), but by changing up the readings, verbiage, and incorporating creative rituals into the service, you can make it completely your own and create a service that leaves your guests laughing, crying, and excited about what’s coming next. “Millennials are writing their own rules,” Pushkine says of modern wedding ceremonies . “They’re looking to create an experience, which is different than before, where couples just did what their parents did.”

Below, we’ve outlined wedding ceremony script writing tips and a few sample wedding ceremony scripts to inspire you.

Wedding Ceremony Script Writing Tips

Scripting your wedding ceremony can be a fun, joyful experience, but the pressure to do and say the right thing can interfere. Here's how to keep it from becoming overwhelming.

Start Early

Don’t leave writing your wedding ceremony until the last minute. Get ahead of it and start doing your research early on in the wedding planning process so that you have plenty of time to find inspiration and craft a ceremony that reflects you as a couple. “It’s like a puzzle,” Pushkine warns. “There are so many different variations and themes to choose from when it comes to planning a wedding ceremony, so try to find unique elements that fit your personal style.”

Work With Your Officiant

The officiant is the most important person at the ceremony—more than the newlyweds—because they’re leading the entire service, and they hold the power to actually marry the couple. If your officiant is a religious leader or experienced wedding officiant , they might already have an outline for the wedding ceremony that you can add to, if you so choose. If you’re having a friend step in as the officiant, they’ll need some direction from the couple as to what they’ll want to include in the ceremony.

Don’t Procrastinate on Writing Your Vows

If you decide to write your own vows , make sure you dedicate plenty of time to not only writing your vows but practicing your delivery as well. Your vows are a lifetime promise that you’re making to your partner in front of your closest friends and family, so they should be meaningful and personal, but without being too revealing. Choose your words carefully, and rehearse until you feel confident and comfortable saying them aloud. 

Keep It Short and Sweet

Unless your ceremony involves a religious service, try to keep the ceremony length to no more than 30 minutes. Any longer and your guests might start looking at their watches. If you want a memorable ceremony that’s fun for everyone—not just the couple—try to make your ceremony interactive. “The best thing you can do to make your ceremony unique is to get people laughing,” Pushkine says. “Wedding ceremonies can be a lot of fun without completely disregarding the serious element involved.” 

Consider Printing Programs for Your Guests

Personalized wedding ceremonies can be entertaining, but the further away you get from the traditional ceremony format, the more confused your guests might be. Wedding programs are a great addition to make your guests feel more involved and aware of where the service is going.

Programs are also great to further explain more meaningful elements of the ceremony, like why you chose to include certain readings or rituals. 

Get a Second Opinion

Make sure to have someone look over your wedding script before the big day to make sure it flows well and sounds both authentic and natural. It never hurts to have a second pair of eyes to provide feedback and edit suggestions on what is likely the most important speech you’ll ever deliver.

Sample Wedding Ceremony Scripts

Now that you’re ready to start writing your own wedding ceremony script, here are a few sample scripts to use as a jumping-off point. Prepared by American Marriage Ministries (AMM) .

Traditional Ceremony Script

PROCESSIONAL Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated followed by the entrance of the bridal party.

INVOCATION Welcome, loved ones. We are gathered here today to join [Name] and [Name] in holy matrimony.

VOW EXCHANGE [Name], I promise to cherish you always, to honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to be true to you in all things until death alone shall part us.

[Name] I promise to cherish you always, to honor and sustain you, in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, and to be true to you in all things until death alone shall part us.

RING EXCHANGE AND DECLARATION OF INTENT With this ring I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.

With this ring I, [Name], take you, [Name], to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, and trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us.

PRONOUNCEMENT By the power vested in me by the state of [State], I now pronounce you [husband and wife/husband and husband/wife and wife]!

Nonreligious Ceremony Script

PROCESSIONAL Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated.

INVOCATION Family and friends, thank you all for coming today to share in this wonderful occasion. Today we are here together to unite [Name] and [Name] in marriage.

DECLARATION OF INTENT Do you [Name], take this [woman/man/person] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to live together in matrimony, to love [her/him/them], comfort [her/him/them], honor and keep [her/him/them], in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?

Do you [Name], take this [woman/man/person] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife], to live together in matrimony, to love [her/him/them], comfort [her/him/them], honor and keep [her/him/them], in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?

RING EXCHANGE [Name] and [Name] have chosen rings to exchange with each other as a symbol of their unending love. As you place this ring on [Name]’s finger, please repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed and pledge you my love now and forever.

[Name], as you place this ring on [Name]’s finger, please repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed and pledge you my love now and forever.

PRONOUNCEMENT By the authority vested in me by the State of [State], I now pronounce you [husband and wife/husband and husband/wife and wife]!

RECESSIONAL End of the wedding ceremony.

Modern Ceremony Script

INVOCATION Welcome family and friends. We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the marriage of [Name] and [Name]. This is not the beginning of a new relationship but an acknowledgment of the next chapter in their lives together. [Name] and [Name] have spent years getting to know each other, and we now bear witness to what their relationship has become. Today, they will affirm this bond formally and publicly.

[Name] and [Name] will mark their transition as a couple not only by celebrating the love between themselves, but by also celebrating the love between all of us—including the love of their parents, siblings, extended family, and best friends. Without that love, today would be far less joyous.

DECLARATION OF INTENT Do you [Name] take [Name] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife]? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto [him/her/them] for as long as you both shall live?

Do you [Name] take [Name] to be your lawfully wedded [husband/wife]? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, in good times and not so good times, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto [him/her/them] for as long as you both shall live?

RING EXCHANGE A ring is an unbroken circle, with ends that have been joined together, and it represents your union. It is a symbol of infinity, and of your infinite love. When you look at these rings on your hands, be reminded of this moment, your commitment, and the love you now feel for each other.

[Name], place the ring on [Name]'s finger and repeat after me:

[Name], I give you this ring as a symbol of my love with the pledge: to love you today, tomorrow, always, and forever.

And now...[Name], place the ring on [Name]'s finger and repeat after me:

PRONOUNCEMENT Before these witnesses, you have pledged to be joined in marriage. You have now sealed this pledge with your wedding rings. By the authority vested in me by the great State of [State], I now pronounce you married!

Christian Ceremony Script

INVOCATION We are gathered here today in the sight of God and these witnesses to join together [Name] and [Name] in holy matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God, since the first man and the first woman walked on the earth. Therefore; it is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly. Into this holy estate, these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore, if anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

READING A reading from the Apostle Paul, The first letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13, verses 4 through 7: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Father, as [Name] and [Name] pledge themselves to each other, help them and bless them that their love may be pure, and their vows may be true. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

DECLARATION OF INTENT [Name] and [Name], you have come together this day so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of this minister of His word and this community of family and friends and so, in the presence of this gathering, I ask you to state your intentions: Have you both come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? If so, answer by saying 'I have.'

RING EXCHANGE [Name], please take the ring you have selected for [Name]. As you place it on [his/her] finger, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.

[Name], please take the ring you have selected for [Name]. As you place it on [his/her] finger, repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.

PRAYER May Jesus Christ, Our Lord and Savior, always be at the center of the new lives you are now starting to build together, that you may know the ways of true love and kindness. May the Lord bless you both all the days of your lives and fill you with His joy. Amen.

PRONOUNCEMENT Those whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder. In so much as [Name] and [Name] have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, having given and pledged their faith, each to the other, and having declared same by the giving and receiving of rings, I pronounce that you are husband and wife. I ask you now to seal the promises you have made with each other this day with a kiss.

Jewish Ceremony Script

SIGNING OF THE KETUBAH The Ketubah is an ancient document and is a marriage contract that lays out the commitment that the couple has to each other. It is signed by two Jewish witnesses, neither of whom can be blood-related family members to the couple.

BEDEKEN After the Ketubah signing, there is a short but meaningful ritual where the groom covers the bride’s face with her veil. The veiling itself is a symbol of modesty, based upon the biblical account of Rebecca meeting Isaac. Some couples put a modern spin on the tradition by having the bride place a yarmulke on the groom.

INVOCATION We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of [Name] and [Name]. A special thanks to all of you that traveled from far and wide to witness the promise these two are about to make to one another. We are here to offer our love and support, and to stand with [Name] and [Name] as they begin this new chapter of their lives.

RING EXCHANGE The couple will now exchange rings. These rings symbolize the never-ending love you feel for each other. The ring has neither a beginning nor an end, just as there is no beginning or end to what the partners give and receive. These rings will be a reminder of the vows you have taken today. By this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel.

BLESSING OF THE HANDS [Name] and [Name], please join hands. Looks at these hands for they are of your closest friend. They are strong and full of love. As you join hands today, you make the promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

THE SEVEN BLESSINGS The Seven Blessings are now recited.

BREAKING THE GLASS The ceremony is concluded by the groom stamping on a glass and smashing it. This is the signal for the gathered people to cheer, dance, and shout “Mazal Tov!” Some couples choose to update this tradition by breaking the glass together with one swift smash in unison.

Baptist Ceremony Script

PROCESSIONAL Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated followed by the entrance of the bridal party.

INVOCATION Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of God, family, and friends to witness a joyous occasion—the union of [Name] and [Name] in holy matrimony.

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE Who gives [Name] to be married to [Name]?

[Bride’s father or parent] I do.

DECLARATION OF INTENT [Name] and [Name], as you stand here before friends, family, and God, I ask you to declare your intentions to join in the sacred covenant of marriage.

Do you take [Name] to be your husband, to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, as long as you both shall live?

[Name], have you come here freely and without reservation to marry?

[Name], do you take [Name] to be your wife, to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?

EXCHANGE OF VOWS AND RINGS [Name] and [Name] will now exchange rings as a symbol of their commitment and endless devotion.

 [Name], you may place the ring you’ve chosen on [Name]’s hand.

 And [Name], you may place the ring you’ve chosen on [Name]’s hand.

 [Couple exchanges rings.]

This marriage unites not just [Name] and [Name], but all of the families sitting here today. They ask now for your blessing. Do you promise to support [Name] and [Name] in their marriage, to keep them in your prayers, to hold them up with love, and to rejoice in companionship in Jesus as they walk this path together?

[Audience] We do.

Closing prayers.

PRONOUNCEMENT [Name] and [Name], having witnessed your marriage vows in the eyes of God and before all who are assembled here, by the authority invested in me by the State of [State], I pronounce you husband and wife. 

You may kiss the bride!

Protestant Ceremony Script

PROCESSION Beginning of the wedding ceremony. Guests are seated followed by the entrance of the bridal party. 

INVOCATION Dearly beloved, we’re gathered here today in the presence of God to witness and bless this union as [Name] and [Name] join together in holy matrimony. 

This holy bond is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, thoughtfully, and in accordance with those purposes for which God created it. 

INTERROGATION AND CHARGE TO THE COUPLE If anyone present knows of any reason why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace. 

[Name] and [Name], here in the presence of God, family, and friends, if either of you know any reason why you should not marry, do now confess it. 

PRESENTATION OF THE BRIDE Who presents [Name] to be married to [Name]?

DECLARATION OF INTENT Please face each other and join hands.

[Name] if it’s in your heart, please repeat after me. 

In the name of God,  I, [Name], take you, [Name],  to be my (wife/husband/spouse),  to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse,  for richer for poorer,  in sickness and in health,  to love and to cherish,  until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow.

[Partner repeats this vow.]

EXCHANGE OF RINGS Lord, bless these rings as you bless this union, in your infinite wisdom, today, tomorrow and always. Amen

[Partner] I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and devotion. With all that I am, and all that I have, I promise to honor and cherish you, in God’s name. 

[Partner repeats.]

PRONOUNCEMENT [Name] and [Name], remember to love each other faithfully, just as Christ loved the church, for marriage is a lasting promise of kindness, patience, forgiveness, and love. Trust in God with all your heart, and your path forward will be filled with joy and light for all the years to come. 

By the power vested in me by the beautiful state of [State], in the presence of God and the witness of friends and family, it is my great privilege to pronounce you husband and wife!

Catholic Wedding Ceremony Script

INVOCATION In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Opening prayer and readings.

CELEBRATION OF MATRIMONY All stand, and the couple comes to the altar flanked by their witnesses. The priest will address the couple with a celebration of matrimony:

Dearly beloved, you have come together into the house of the church so that in the presence of the church’s minister and the community, your intention to enter into marriage may be strengthened by the Lord with a sacred seal.

ADDRESS AND STATEMENT OF INTENTIONS [Name] and [Name], have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion, freely and wholeheartedly?

 [Couple] I have

Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?

[Couple] I am

 EXCHANGE OF CONSENT I, [NAME], take you, [NAME], to be my [wife/husband]. I promise to be faithful to you, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

[Partner two repeats this vow.]

BLESSING AND GIVING OF RINGS Bless, O Lord, these rings which we bless in your name. So that those who wear them may remain entirely faithful to each other, abide in peace and in your will, and live always in mutual charity. Through Christ our Lord.

[Priest sprinkles wedding rings with holy water, then hands them to each partner.]

[Name], receive this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy spirit.  

[Places ring on partner’s finger]

[Partner two repeats this vow and places ring on partner’s finger.]

PRAYER Priest leads congregation with the Lord’s Prayer.

COMMUNION Priest performs communion, starting with the married couple. 

PRONOUNCEMENT By the power vested in me by the state of [State], I now pronounce you husband and wife.

The best place to find ideas for your very own wedding ceremony script is, you guessed it, the internet. From wedding videography on YouTube to bridal blogs, wedding planning sites, and of course, Brides , there is certainly no shortage of inspiration.

Traditionally, a wedding script begins with the officiant seating the guests and thanking them for bearing witness to the marriage of the couple. While religious ceremonies may begin with a bible verse or another custom, a more modern approach may start the ceremony with a story of the couple.

While the format for your wedding ceremony script largely depends on how religious the occasion is, there are a variety of ways to make it personal to you as a couple. Incorporate guests who are taking witness to your marriage or include a story of how you met followed by a time where you rose above a challenge together to add a personal touch to the proceedings.

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